This is going to be fairly quick because I'm on the run in my usual fashion. I got tons of housework accomplished and I'm going shopping with my best BFF tomorrow. My husband and I spent a lovely night together holding hands and watching old movies. I realized how happy I am. It may seem odd but I wasn't for awhile. I was aggravated, frustrated, feeling neglected and left out, lonely and all of the negative things one could possibly imagine. Yesterday I saw an episode of the popular television comedy show 'Everybody Loves Raymond.' This show is from the past and most likely was a re-run but I think I was meant to see it.
It was Robert and Amy's 3 month wedding anniversary and they were all goo goo- gaga as newly weds would be. You know the type; dripping with sugar... they hadn't faced the reality of what a real marriage is yet. Then there's Debra and Raymond. Married 16 years or so. The kids are still small- money is tight...the real hard part of marriage. Raymond's mom and Dad are married 46 years and not what you'd consider the epitome of...well sanity let alone a good marriage. Amy decides that she and Robert need to 'help' the other two couples with their marriages. She buys them self- help books on the subject. At 3 months, its as ridiculous as it sounds.
Debra is very angry as is Raymond. But Raymond's parents are indifferent. Raymond's mother gives a speech about an actual marriage success story and really- no one could fight it because she obviously has the secret at her disposal after 46 years. The show was hilarious- but the secret was real. She said that she and her husband Frank had gone through the entire gamut of emotions; everything from love to hate. They know each others faults. The secret is that they are still okay with each other.
As much of a 'scuba widow' as I am, and as mad as I get at him, I cannot picture my life going forward without this man. We are married 25 years on November 4th. That's half my life- I turned 50 in June. That's not to say that I'm not going to get angry again- that's just silly...but I still love him. I genuinely love him...who knew...
The reason I bring that up is because those problems usually send me to the frig. I am very heavy- even though I'm trying to do something about it- the fact is still the same. When I'm this heavy, it's a sign of unhappiness. I really thought I was unhappy for awhile, but I'm not. We're actually 'okay' with each other too. Our lives are not the comedy show that 'Everybody Loves Raymond' was but we still share a lot of laughs. We still hold hands and that says something. I actually thought that the end was near when our son moved out and got married. The events that occurred in my friendships and the lives of people I love changed me and that for the better. I think realizing that may help my emotions to stabilize a little bit. I certainly hope so. That's it for today! I'm on the run! See you next Blog! ;-)
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