It may have been 'delusions of grandeur' once upon a time when I thought I'd also write a maintenance end to this blog. It's been rough going. I am literally at the exact same weight as the last time I weighed in- so I guess that's a good thing, but I get weak in the months of October, November and December. I still wonder why I can't eat real foods as I want them like everyone else in the world seems to be able to do. I know...I know...metabolism, moderation...yadda, yadda, yadda. I get it. I just wish it could be otherwise. Still, I look in the mirror and like what I see a little better these days, so I guess that's something. It's not GREAT yet though, and I feel like after this length of time, that it should be. I get so tired of watching, counting, and behaving. I think that might be why I blew it so bad it October. I have to tell you though- the consequences weren't worth it. It set me back a month to break even with where I was before...sigh. Anyway- I'm moving ahead...inching along and hoping to remain steadfast until Christmas with my son and his wife. That's a bit of November and MOST of December. Join me. I need the support! Let's support each other!
I know that this is a short blog, but I have a ton of things going on...many balls juggling in the air and not to mention holiday stuff on top of it. Stress is usually my downfall, but I'm going to give it everything I've got! HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL of you. xo
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
November 12, 2010
Since I missed October completely I thought I'd come on again and touch base with you all. As you may or may not know I traveled in October to book signings and had the opportunity to visit Oahu Hawaii. When I returned getting back to the business of dieting was difficult to say the least.
It took literally about two weeks for me to find the will power-for lack of better terminology- to stay on the right path for a full day. It took four solid days of fighting with myself through parties at work, dinners with family and friends and taste buds that craved Halloween candy like everyone else had.
I've come to the realization that I'm a "carbo-holic." I'm hooked on carbs- the bad kind. It is my 'drug of choice' and beating that particular addiction takes serious focus, determination and yes...WORK!
Though I'm still struggling, I fell back into the pattern and am forging ahead. How? One minute at a time; joking about it with my friends; putting my focus elsewhere... using whatever tools came available to me. I am on day 5. Though I did not get on the scale because I didn't want the numbers to send me into a downward spiral I feel like I've gained some weight. I'm very conscious of my body...I wish I wasn't sometimes. I feel things getting evened out now and the tailspin did not occur thankfully, so I'm trudging along the diet path again and still hoping to release another twenty pounds or so.
My advice is to begin. It doesn't matter what time of day or if you've just cheated two seconds ago...begin now. There is no set starting position, there is just the fact that if you need to shed the weight, you do have to start somewhere. Take it one day at at time; one hour at a time; one minute at a time; one second at a time. I'm reaching for the 'cheat day' of Thanksgiving Day. I pray I am solid to that point. I feel like I've reached firmer ground...join me.
It's an uphill, constant battle that we may need to fight for the rest of our lives. You know what they say...'there is strength in numbers.' Let's DO THIS! Together.
In the meantime remember that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Don't let your interpretation of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Remember, I'm right here with you...wielding that shield and fighting my way through years of abuse and fat on my body... Hold on! You can do it! WE can do it! See you next blog. ;-)
It took literally about two weeks for me to find the will power-for lack of better terminology- to stay on the right path for a full day. It took four solid days of fighting with myself through parties at work, dinners with family and friends and taste buds that craved Halloween candy like everyone else had.
I've come to the realization that I'm a "carbo-holic." I'm hooked on carbs- the bad kind. It is my 'drug of choice' and beating that particular addiction takes serious focus, determination and yes...WORK!
Though I'm still struggling, I fell back into the pattern and am forging ahead. How? One minute at a time; joking about it with my friends; putting my focus elsewhere... using whatever tools came available to me. I am on day 5. Though I did not get on the scale because I didn't want the numbers to send me into a downward spiral I feel like I've gained some weight. I'm very conscious of my body...I wish I wasn't sometimes. I feel things getting evened out now and the tailspin did not occur thankfully, so I'm trudging along the diet path again and still hoping to release another twenty pounds or so.
My advice is to begin. It doesn't matter what time of day or if you've just cheated two seconds ago...begin now. There is no set starting position, there is just the fact that if you need to shed the weight, you do have to start somewhere. Take it one day at at time; one hour at a time; one minute at a time; one second at a time. I'm reaching for the 'cheat day' of Thanksgiving Day. I pray I am solid to that point. I feel like I've reached firmer ground...join me.
It's an uphill, constant battle that we may need to fight for the rest of our lives. You know what they say...'there is strength in numbers.' Let's DO THIS! Together.
In the meantime remember that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Don't let your interpretation of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Remember, I'm right here with you...wielding that shield and fighting my way through years of abuse and fat on my body... Hold on! You can do it! WE can do it! See you next blog. ;-)
Sunday, November 7, 2010
November 7, 2010 Diet Blog
I'm sorry I'm late but as you may or may not know my life is quite full at the moment. I've been doing great with book signings, traveling and talking to people about myself and my work. The diet was going excellent until I went to Hawaii on October 15. I kept in in check- but am struggling to get back on it. I did not weigh myself on the 5th as planned because I just feel that I cannot handle the depression that comes with the elevated numbers. As of tomorrow the 8th I am going back on it full force-my goal "cheat day" being Thanksgiving. On Dec 5th come hell or high water I will post the poundage for you.
I do want to mention the amazing experience that I had in Hawaii though. Of course, the entire trip was out of this world as I'm sure you can imagine if you haven't been there already yourself. But the most astounding thing occurred. Let me explain from the beginning. Upon arrival in Honolulu I headed for the luggage area as is the customary thing to do. A stewardess was racing across the floor trying to make a plane-catch a bus or whatever...anyway, she collided with me even though I saw her barrelling through and tried to get out of her way.
She stepped on my instep with her heel and left a lovely little hole in it in the shape of her heel. It hurt, but not so bad that I did or said anything. She apologised while still on the run and I limped a bit but got my luggage and continued on my way-friend in tow.
Later I took the sock and shoe off of my foot to discover the bloody mess that had been left underneath. I got peroxide, neosporin and band aids, doctored it up and didn't miss a beat.
About 4 days later while visiting the Honolulu Zoo we were going through a tunnel of Banyan trees, which are trees whose branches are the roots and not the bottom of the trunk. They are wild. Anyway, It was about 88 degrees F and the time change had me totally exhausted, and by this time there was an infection setting into my foot that I was pretending didn't exist.
I thought I was hallucinating because I saw little 'beings' for lack of a better word. They were about the size of barbie dolls. There were two. They had wings. One was dressed in light blue the other in browns and tans. The blue one seemed to try and hide where the brown one was more brazen and actually waved at me.
I rubbed my eyes in disbelief. I admit I thought I was seeing things. After I rubbed my eyes they were gone. I called out that I needed water. They reappeared seconds later. That time I snapped a picture with my camera.
After that I got water and rested under an umbrella and felt a little better. I took over 500 pictures on the trip and to be perfectly truthful, I forgot about the little beings.
At home I downloaded all of my pictures. I had gone to the doctor, got a tetanus shot, antibiotics and a prescription for blood work and was feeling much better. The pictures that I took of the Banyan tree came up. Sure enough...the little ladies were in the picture. I gasped.
I posted them on face book...so that ALL of my friends could now see that I really AM a lunatic... and many commented. A lot of people saw them, some did not. One did not but wanted to more than anything and asked me to mark them somehow. I thought that was a good idea and so I figured out how to use the paint brush program and outlined what I saw. As I did that I saw a third one but I hadn't seen her that day so I mentioned her but outlined only the ones I did see.
The picture outlines were awesome- I do not draw that well...holy moly! They were angels- they were beautiful...and yes folks...I ABSOLUTELY think that I saw them... I'm not sure why or what/if anything I should do or study or say but there they are plain and simple...
So I'm home now- dealing with that, wishing I could just drop everything and return there to see if I see them again...but cannot (the cost alone....) and I'm sharing that experience with you. Hows THAT for a blog? ;-)
Tomorrow I start over. I'm going to call upon any angels surrounding me for help in all of my endeavors...for my health and weight loss, for fame and fortune to surround my writing, for my dream of giving vast sums of money to SIDS research, for the lives of people I touch paths with to be blessed and for love and peace to spread through me in the Lords name...isn't that really what we all want?
In the mean time take care of you...I'll be back on Dec 5th. Talk to you then!
I do want to mention the amazing experience that I had in Hawaii though. Of course, the entire trip was out of this world as I'm sure you can imagine if you haven't been there already yourself. But the most astounding thing occurred. Let me explain from the beginning. Upon arrival in Honolulu I headed for the luggage area as is the customary thing to do. A stewardess was racing across the floor trying to make a plane-catch a bus or whatever...anyway, she collided with me even though I saw her barrelling through and tried to get out of her way.
She stepped on my instep with her heel and left a lovely little hole in it in the shape of her heel. It hurt, but not so bad that I did or said anything. She apologised while still on the run and I limped a bit but got my luggage and continued on my way-friend in tow.
Later I took the sock and shoe off of my foot to discover the bloody mess that had been left underneath. I got peroxide, neosporin and band aids, doctored it up and didn't miss a beat.
About 4 days later while visiting the Honolulu Zoo we were going through a tunnel of Banyan trees, which are trees whose branches are the roots and not the bottom of the trunk. They are wild. Anyway, It was about 88 degrees F and the time change had me totally exhausted, and by this time there was an infection setting into my foot that I was pretending didn't exist.
I thought I was hallucinating because I saw little 'beings' for lack of a better word. They were about the size of barbie dolls. There were two. They had wings. One was dressed in light blue the other in browns and tans. The blue one seemed to try and hide where the brown one was more brazen and actually waved at me.
I rubbed my eyes in disbelief. I admit I thought I was seeing things. After I rubbed my eyes they were gone. I called out that I needed water. They reappeared seconds later. That time I snapped a picture with my camera.
After that I got water and rested under an umbrella and felt a little better. I took over 500 pictures on the trip and to be perfectly truthful, I forgot about the little beings.
At home I downloaded all of my pictures. I had gone to the doctor, got a tetanus shot, antibiotics and a prescription for blood work and was feeling much better. The pictures that I took of the Banyan tree came up. Sure enough...the little ladies were in the picture. I gasped.
I posted them on face book...so that ALL of my friends could now see that I really AM a lunatic... and many commented. A lot of people saw them, some did not. One did not but wanted to more than anything and asked me to mark them somehow. I thought that was a good idea and so I figured out how to use the paint brush program and outlined what I saw. As I did that I saw a third one but I hadn't seen her that day so I mentioned her but outlined only the ones I did see.
The picture outlines were awesome- I do not draw that well...holy moly! They were angels- they were beautiful...and yes folks...I ABSOLUTELY think that I saw them... I'm not sure why or what/if anything I should do or study or say but there they are plain and simple...
So I'm home now- dealing with that, wishing I could just drop everything and return there to see if I see them again...but cannot (the cost alone....) and I'm sharing that experience with you. Hows THAT for a blog? ;-)
Tomorrow I start over. I'm going to call upon any angels surrounding me for help in all of my endeavors...for my health and weight loss, for fame and fortune to surround my writing, for my dream of giving vast sums of money to SIDS research, for the lives of people I touch paths with to be blessed and for love and peace to spread through me in the Lords name...isn't that really what we all want?
In the mean time take care of you...I'll be back on Dec 5th. Talk to you then!
Monday, September 6, 2010
September, 6 2010 Diet Blog
I could not blog on the 5th as usual because we have a very sad thing going on in my family. An Aunt fell and broke her hip. Upon opening her up to put a pin into it for repair, it was discovered that the hip was cancerous. They removed that part and put the pin in. While in sugery, she suffered a stroke. She lived through that. She then had further tests that revealed that she has cancer throughout her entire body. The doctors say that she had got approximatly two months to live. She is 71. In my opinion, that is still so young. Two weeks ago she seemed fine. Now, she's been brought home and confined to a hospital bed so that she can die at home.
She was very good to me as a child. I feel loss and devastation at the thought of her being incapacitated like that not to mention so ill that she might die soon. While I sat with her I told her to remain positive. That Doctors don't know everything. She said that she didn't feel like she was that sick. Her mind is fine. It's her body that is giving out.
She told me that I look like a toothpick. She is very proud of the weight loss, which is an even 50 pounds gone as of this morning, the first real goal reached...20 more to go.... She told me that I am beautiful. We talked for awhile. I'm glad that I got to see her. I'm too sad to capture my emotions in words though- so forgive me.
While I was in that state I stopped by the Lake that was near hell house where I grew up. I went alone. I needed to sort out my head before the two hour drive home. It's very built up now and looks so different from the times I went there as a kid. I warmed my feet in the sand. It was rough and chock full of pebbles and tiny shells. It wasn't so rough that you needed shoes though, just so you get an idea. I looked around and watched the calm water for awhile. A young boy that I went to school with drown in that Lake when we were in high school. I talked to the sixth grade heart throb on this same sand. He called me by the wrong name. I couldn't help but smile to myself. It was sheer devastation to my sixth grade ego back then.
I thought about my life since the last time my feet had touched this sand. I thought about all of the wrong decisions that I've made and about the right ones. Truth is: I would do it all over again pretty much the same way. My life is good, though I do complain sometimes. I think my Aunt feels the same way. She is married 51 years. My Uncle is in agony, and looks it. She has five grown kids and they all have kids, some are grandparents now. She had her kids young. Thats how things were done then. My Uncle still carries her wedding picture in his wallet. He says that she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen on that day. I found that to be so romantic. He's a good guy. Bad things really do happen to good people.
I found myself asking God why? Why my little girl? Why my Aunt? Why couldn't he just take a jerk...I guess that question's answer is hidden in the question. Why would God want "jerks" in heaven. I get it. I just hate it. I know that she'll be okay. She knows how loved that she is here. She gets to take that with her when/if she goes. Still, Doctors don't know everything. It's God's plan, not ours.
So, my head is full of depression and sadness. I'm trying to make sense out of things...again. Eating my way through it is no longer an option obviously. I'm choosing to feel the emotion. I owe her that. I love her.
I'm going to sign off here. I'll write again as soon as I'm able. Of course, I'll keep you posted on the progress of the next 20 pounds.
She was very good to me as a child. I feel loss and devastation at the thought of her being incapacitated like that not to mention so ill that she might die soon. While I sat with her I told her to remain positive. That Doctors don't know everything. She said that she didn't feel like she was that sick. Her mind is fine. It's her body that is giving out.
She told me that I look like a toothpick. She is very proud of the weight loss, which is an even 50 pounds gone as of this morning, the first real goal reached...20 more to go.... She told me that I am beautiful. We talked for awhile. I'm glad that I got to see her. I'm too sad to capture my emotions in words though- so forgive me.
While I was in that state I stopped by the Lake that was near hell house where I grew up. I went alone. I needed to sort out my head before the two hour drive home. It's very built up now and looks so different from the times I went there as a kid. I warmed my feet in the sand. It was rough and chock full of pebbles and tiny shells. It wasn't so rough that you needed shoes though, just so you get an idea. I looked around and watched the calm water for awhile. A young boy that I went to school with drown in that Lake when we were in high school. I talked to the sixth grade heart throb on this same sand. He called me by the wrong name. I couldn't help but smile to myself. It was sheer devastation to my sixth grade ego back then.
I thought about my life since the last time my feet had touched this sand. I thought about all of the wrong decisions that I've made and about the right ones. Truth is: I would do it all over again pretty much the same way. My life is good, though I do complain sometimes. I think my Aunt feels the same way. She is married 51 years. My Uncle is in agony, and looks it. She has five grown kids and they all have kids, some are grandparents now. She had her kids young. Thats how things were done then. My Uncle still carries her wedding picture in his wallet. He says that she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen on that day. I found that to be so romantic. He's a good guy. Bad things really do happen to good people.
I found myself asking God why? Why my little girl? Why my Aunt? Why couldn't he just take a jerk...I guess that question's answer is hidden in the question. Why would God want "jerks" in heaven. I get it. I just hate it. I know that she'll be okay. She knows how loved that she is here. She gets to take that with her when/if she goes. Still, Doctors don't know everything. It's God's plan, not ours.
So, my head is full of depression and sadness. I'm trying to make sense out of things...again. Eating my way through it is no longer an option obviously. I'm choosing to feel the emotion. I owe her that. I love her.
I'm going to sign off here. I'll write again as soon as I'm able. Of course, I'll keep you posted on the progress of the next 20 pounds.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
August 29, 2010 Diet Blog
Still plodding along the path to a smaller body. I didn't weigh in officially this month because I went on the Royal Caribbean book tour Cruise and was not behaved well at all. I controlled it- or tried to but it was so difficult. It seems like cruises have more food than anywhere else on the planet. Still I'm not unhappy with the outcome and I will weigh in officially on September 5th and post the results.
I'm quite proud of myself for something that happened yesterday and thought that it would be a good subject to talk with you guys about because I cannot believe that it's STILL happening to me, even now, when dieting has become a habit; a vendetta if you know what I mean. The subject is "sabotage" and I'll explain what happened first.
I went out to celebrate my BFF's nieces birthday at a restaurant called P.F. Chang's. They serve oriental food and a pear mojito to die for, if that's your thing. Though it may have been mine in another life, I opted for diet coke. Several appetizers were ordered; pan fried this, fried that, noodle whatever; you get the idea. I opted for the company of people I like and the diet coke. My not having those things should not hinder any one's good time or eating habits in anyway- especially because I had full intention of sharing the bill just the same.
My Bff, who has been with me throughout the diet process and watched me struggle for years was actually insistent, REPEATEDLY that I try this, that, and the other. At first I joked because as the designated driver I refused to drink, then I said things like "I may as well just apply it here" and patted my rump. I mentioned the upcoming Hawaiian trip that I would like to be at my best for...none of it deterred her. Finally, in a jolly voice with a smile on my face I glared at her in a way that she is very familiar with I'm sure, given the length of our friendship, and I told her pointedly that she should be supportive- especially now when the end is in sight at about 18 pounds away. I reminded her that I've struggled for too long to let that pan fried whatever come between me and what I dream of looking like on my next book cover.
It took several attempts before she actually got it- but I'm happy to report that she did get it. I'm still reeling from the fact that I had to re-convince her. I guess that means that I must be looking normal because I think that she honestly forgot or something.
Later, we went to the party store to get Thank you cards for gifts given at her oldest son's graduation. I had helped her write out the invites and I had said I would help her with this too. While we were in there she said that she absolutely was dying for a sweet and she purchased a chocolate candy bar. She ate a bite of it and said jokingly, "I'd offer you some but I need to be supportive." We laughed. She got it. That was her way of saying "oops, sorry about that." It blew over and all was well.
My point though is that the "sabotage" seems to die out for awhile when people figure out that you're serious but then it comes back as you get close enough to the goal to see it. It's within reach for me. 18 pounds is a spit in the bucket, so to speak, compared to what I've lost already. My cautionary warning for you guys: Watch for it. Prepare for it. I cannot believe that it happened after all of this time. For the record my BFF is naturally thin. It's a genetic code for a great metabolism. She can eat anything, drink anything, enjoy combinations of anything and never pays a consequence. She looks great in everything and can buy clothes from everywhere. I do not have that luxury. I never did. I still don't. My figure leaves a lot to be desired. I'm small on top and big on the bottom. I look better but believe me- she'd win a beauty contest where I'd be thrilled to sit in the back of the audience wearing black glasses.
I believe that being prepared for things that we know are going to occur has helped me a lot on this path. That's why I felt that it is imperative to share these things with you. It is part of being successful on this path to health and vitality that we obviously feel we must be on. Let me just add, that I'm glad to be on this path with you. It's nice to have company. It's nice to help and be helped by you.
I'll sign off here reminding us all that :You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive...AND we're still in this together...I'm right here.
Take care of yourself...begin again if you need to...xo
I'm quite proud of myself for something that happened yesterday and thought that it would be a good subject to talk with you guys about because I cannot believe that it's STILL happening to me, even now, when dieting has become a habit; a vendetta if you know what I mean. The subject is "sabotage" and I'll explain what happened first.
I went out to celebrate my BFF's nieces birthday at a restaurant called P.F. Chang's. They serve oriental food and a pear mojito to die for, if that's your thing. Though it may have been mine in another life, I opted for diet coke. Several appetizers were ordered; pan fried this, fried that, noodle whatever; you get the idea. I opted for the company of people I like and the diet coke. My not having those things should not hinder any one's good time or eating habits in anyway- especially because I had full intention of sharing the bill just the same.
My Bff, who has been with me throughout the diet process and watched me struggle for years was actually insistent, REPEATEDLY that I try this, that, and the other. At first I joked because as the designated driver I refused to drink, then I said things like "I may as well just apply it here" and patted my rump. I mentioned the upcoming Hawaiian trip that I would like to be at my best for...none of it deterred her. Finally, in a jolly voice with a smile on my face I glared at her in a way that she is very familiar with I'm sure, given the length of our friendship, and I told her pointedly that she should be supportive- especially now when the end is in sight at about 18 pounds away. I reminded her that I've struggled for too long to let that pan fried whatever come between me and what I dream of looking like on my next book cover.
It took several attempts before she actually got it- but I'm happy to report that she did get it. I'm still reeling from the fact that I had to re-convince her. I guess that means that I must be looking normal because I think that she honestly forgot or something.
Later, we went to the party store to get Thank you cards for gifts given at her oldest son's graduation. I had helped her write out the invites and I had said I would help her with this too. While we were in there she said that she absolutely was dying for a sweet and she purchased a chocolate candy bar. She ate a bite of it and said jokingly, "I'd offer you some but I need to be supportive." We laughed. She got it. That was her way of saying "oops, sorry about that." It blew over and all was well.
My point though is that the "sabotage" seems to die out for awhile when people figure out that you're serious but then it comes back as you get close enough to the goal to see it. It's within reach for me. 18 pounds is a spit in the bucket, so to speak, compared to what I've lost already. My cautionary warning for you guys: Watch for it. Prepare for it. I cannot believe that it happened after all of this time. For the record my BFF is naturally thin. It's a genetic code for a great metabolism. She can eat anything, drink anything, enjoy combinations of anything and never pays a consequence. She looks great in everything and can buy clothes from everywhere. I do not have that luxury. I never did. I still don't. My figure leaves a lot to be desired. I'm small on top and big on the bottom. I look better but believe me- she'd win a beauty contest where I'd be thrilled to sit in the back of the audience wearing black glasses.
I believe that being prepared for things that we know are going to occur has helped me a lot on this path. That's why I felt that it is imperative to share these things with you. It is part of being successful on this path to health and vitality that we obviously feel we must be on. Let me just add, that I'm glad to be on this path with you. It's nice to have company. It's nice to help and be helped by you.
I'll sign off here reminding us all that :You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive...AND we're still in this together...I'm right here.
Take care of yourself...begin again if you need to...xo
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
July 13, 2010 Diet Blog
The weigh in on the 5th made it official. 47 pounds down and counting. I got so busy during these past few months since the book came out that I can barely squeeze in 2 minutes out of my day. The frustration grows with each passing day as the publishing company has promised to deliver books for me but has not. I am easy to work with, but cancelling signings is asking too much. I'm a NEW member of this world and they are trashing my rep already. The publisher finally picked up the phone and then emailed me later in the day last week on Friday. He says everything is back in order. Let us pray....
The Royal Caribbean cruise is nearly upon me. I need to get the poster made for the signing there. I contacted the gentleman in charge and am awaiting confirmation about everything- like the protocol. I need an agent badly. I'm learning on the fly- where they would know how to handle these things. It's so hard sometimes...but I dreamed of it for 20 years AND I inteend to see it through come hell or high water.
The Hawaiian tour is lining up now. I pray for great success in these places and in this endeavor. Seeing this dream come to fruition will lead to the ultimate dream of saving babies from SIDS death and mom's from the agony of facing "death for no real reason" of their children. I want all mom's to be able to raise all of their children...each one is different and unique...you cannot replace one with another....
I've gotta run or be late for my real job at the courthouse...OH! Did I mention that they are "promoting me?" LOL...to be continued next blog! Have a great day/night! See you then!
The Royal Caribbean cruise is nearly upon me. I need to get the poster made for the signing there. I contacted the gentleman in charge and am awaiting confirmation about everything- like the protocol. I need an agent badly. I'm learning on the fly- where they would know how to handle these things. It's so hard sometimes...but I dreamed of it for 20 years AND I inteend to see it through come hell or high water.
The Hawaiian tour is lining up now. I pray for great success in these places and in this endeavor. Seeing this dream come to fruition will lead to the ultimate dream of saving babies from SIDS death and mom's from the agony of facing "death for no real reason" of their children. I want all mom's to be able to raise all of their children...each one is different and unique...you cannot replace one with another....
I've gotta run or be late for my real job at the courthouse...OH! Did I mention that they are "promoting me?" LOL...to be continued next blog! Have a great day/night! See you then!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
July 3, 2010 Diet Blog
Hi All! I think the once or twice a month thing may be the way this goes for now. Again- I'm an email away if you need a friend!
Unofficially the scale bumps between 46 and 47 pounds lost. The official weigh in will of course be on the 5th as always. I've checked several times though. The Royal Caribbean cruise/book signing is coming up in August and I want to be svelte for it obviously. I'm working hard and praying harder.
After last month it was VERY hard to get back on track with the diet. I floundered without having the estimated 'time to cheat day' laid out for me. They were every week- just about. 6 weeks is too long but one is not long enough. I think 3 or 4 is the proper allotment of time between cheat dates for me.
I've been book signing my little head off and its going pretty well. I'm frustrated with the publisher because I've been trying for a month to get 50 more books and cannot get so much as a response from them. I'm completely without books at this moment with 2 signings looming before me. I placed my 4th call to them this morning and have done numerous e-mails. It is SO frustrating.
I'm getting a promotion at work. Supposedly I start on July 8th and I've heard that I will enjoy that job very much. I'm a little nervous about leaving the position I've been in since I was hired almost 7 years ago but am looking forward to the change as a positive move. My career dreams do not include this job as a forever thing. I want to be a world renowned author- loved and revered by readers- not to mention generating millions of dollars a year, enabling me to help people and "save babies" through SIDS research. Yup...I dream BIG when I dream...
Anyway- I had my first experience at the pool. It wasn't as bad as last year but I still am fat and REALLY white. I wasn't the fattest by far though- thankfully. I've never been real comfortable in a bathing suit though so its not the newest concept in my life. It could be worse, and MOST CERTAINLY has been.
I'm facing new life decisions these days. I've had an unsettling time with my husband and his family this year. Thank heaven our child is grown and married and away from this world. Of all of the things I dreamed for him, getting away from "this" was definitely one at the top of the list. He is happy and that is good. The family- including hubby who seems not to give a flying fig- have done some major damage to my heart this year. Sadly- I'm unsure if I can repair it this time. It's patched together with glue and tape already.... My husband, who I adored and held up on a pedestal is part of that too this time. I am so shocked that after all of these years- he knows me NOT. He clearly still sees me as the person that came from the other side of the tracks. Of the two of us- he is the ONLY one who misbehaved in our relationship. It was NEVER me. I'm hurt- wounded...but they can't defeat me. I've been through a lot. I'll re-group. Without going into vivid detail...let me just say that 27, nearly 28 years of marriage is not a failure. We are a success these days. I wonder, sometimes if people should "jump ship" or have the option of resigning at a certain year...I wonder how many would... I wonder if I would.
I'll write in again on the 5th with the official number for you. In the mean time remember: You look as good as you can for today, tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time! Stay positive! You are not alone! See you next Blog! ;-)
Unofficially the scale bumps between 46 and 47 pounds lost. The official weigh in will of course be on the 5th as always. I've checked several times though. The Royal Caribbean cruise/book signing is coming up in August and I want to be svelte for it obviously. I'm working hard and praying harder.
After last month it was VERY hard to get back on track with the diet. I floundered without having the estimated 'time to cheat day' laid out for me. They were every week- just about. 6 weeks is too long but one is not long enough. I think 3 or 4 is the proper allotment of time between cheat dates for me.
I've been book signing my little head off and its going pretty well. I'm frustrated with the publisher because I've been trying for a month to get 50 more books and cannot get so much as a response from them. I'm completely without books at this moment with 2 signings looming before me. I placed my 4th call to them this morning and have done numerous e-mails. It is SO frustrating.
I'm getting a promotion at work. Supposedly I start on July 8th and I've heard that I will enjoy that job very much. I'm a little nervous about leaving the position I've been in since I was hired almost 7 years ago but am looking forward to the change as a positive move. My career dreams do not include this job as a forever thing. I want to be a world renowned author- loved and revered by readers- not to mention generating millions of dollars a year, enabling me to help people and "save babies" through SIDS research. Yup...I dream BIG when I dream...
Anyway- I had my first experience at the pool. It wasn't as bad as last year but I still am fat and REALLY white. I wasn't the fattest by far though- thankfully. I've never been real comfortable in a bathing suit though so its not the newest concept in my life. It could be worse, and MOST CERTAINLY has been.
I'm facing new life decisions these days. I've had an unsettling time with my husband and his family this year. Thank heaven our child is grown and married and away from this world. Of all of the things I dreamed for him, getting away from "this" was definitely one at the top of the list. He is happy and that is good. The family- including hubby who seems not to give a flying fig- have done some major damage to my heart this year. Sadly- I'm unsure if I can repair it this time. It's patched together with glue and tape already.... My husband, who I adored and held up on a pedestal is part of that too this time. I am so shocked that after all of these years- he knows me NOT. He clearly still sees me as the person that came from the other side of the tracks. Of the two of us- he is the ONLY one who misbehaved in our relationship. It was NEVER me. I'm hurt- wounded...but they can't defeat me. I've been through a lot. I'll re-group. Without going into vivid detail...let me just say that 27, nearly 28 years of marriage is not a failure. We are a success these days. I wonder, sometimes if people should "jump ship" or have the option of resigning at a certain year...I wonder how many would... I wonder if I would.
I'll write in again on the 5th with the official number for you. In the mean time remember: You look as good as you can for today, tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time! Stay positive! You are not alone! See you next Blog! ;-)
Sunday, June 6, 2010
June 6 2010 Diet Blog
Hi You guys! Sorry the weigh in post is a day late but it's been a whirlwind weekend. The weight stayed exactly the same for which I am eternally grateful to the powers that be because I had too many cheat days to count. I need to get back on track. It's been very difficult to move forward because the "holidays" or when I need to cheat are too close together. Mothers Day, Hubby's birthday, my birthday, now father's day...it's too closely knit and there's no way to maintain the regimen I've set. The several weeks in between days works for me though, with totally strict behavior in between. I'll of course, as always keep you informed.
Friday I left work to get my nails done. It was such a hot, hot day. Summer is here with a vengeance! (Be careful what you ask for as they say...) On the way I got a phone call about my book signing on June 11th in Cape May NJ. There will be 180 students there and the book is selling well. "Another box arrived," she said happily. I maintained composure but really I wanted to leap around like a fool yelling "go me! Go me!"
On Saturday I got my hair permed in the morning. The color will get done in two weeks. The perm looks okay. It's not what I expected but I didn't hate it. I'll like it even better with color I think. Right now its virtually all white. I look older. My husband was right about the keeping it red thing. Anyway- after that I went to the swim club- yup MY Favorite place speaking body wise as you know. Still it was a lovely and serene setting to enjoy the afternoon in. Later I went to karaoke with my Bff from Wanaque. Blairstown Bff couldn't make it but my husband came which was completely unusual. We had dinner and then Wanaque Bff joined us. My karaoke buddy's girlfriend couldn't get over my appearance! She complimented me over and over and told me I was "sexy." Wow....We had a fun evening but I couldn't carry a tune to save my life. No one minded. They sang Happy Birthday UG! I got through it. UG!
Sunday morning I found a ton of Happy Birthday posts and requests from friends to do book signings in towns near them. I'm ALL IN! I told them to get me listings of local libraries and book stores and I'd write letters and we'd see. Life feels so good right now. I hope it gets better and better in this area. I'm going to the swim club again with sista girl and my niece and nephew. Then I'm going to a place called P.F. Changs for dinner with my Best BFF and company. It should finish the weekend off with a bang!
I hope that you are all doing as well. If not start again right now! Even if it's the middle of your day, begin anyway. I'm here with you. I still have quite a way to go too. In the meantime remember that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time! Stay positive! See you next blog! ;-)
Friday I left work to get my nails done. It was such a hot, hot day. Summer is here with a vengeance! (Be careful what you ask for as they say...) On the way I got a phone call about my book signing on June 11th in Cape May NJ. There will be 180 students there and the book is selling well. "Another box arrived," she said happily. I maintained composure but really I wanted to leap around like a fool yelling "go me! Go me!"
On Saturday I got my hair permed in the morning. The color will get done in two weeks. The perm looks okay. It's not what I expected but I didn't hate it. I'll like it even better with color I think. Right now its virtually all white. I look older. My husband was right about the keeping it red thing. Anyway- after that I went to the swim club- yup MY Favorite place speaking body wise as you know. Still it was a lovely and serene setting to enjoy the afternoon in. Later I went to karaoke with my Bff from Wanaque. Blairstown Bff couldn't make it but my husband came which was completely unusual. We had dinner and then Wanaque Bff joined us. My karaoke buddy's girlfriend couldn't get over my appearance! She complimented me over and over and told me I was "sexy." Wow....We had a fun evening but I couldn't carry a tune to save my life. No one minded. They sang Happy Birthday UG! I got through it. UG!
Sunday morning I found a ton of Happy Birthday posts and requests from friends to do book signings in towns near them. I'm ALL IN! I told them to get me listings of local libraries and book stores and I'd write letters and we'd see. Life feels so good right now. I hope it gets better and better in this area. I'm going to the swim club again with sista girl and my niece and nephew. Then I'm going to a place called P.F. Changs for dinner with my Best BFF and company. It should finish the weekend off with a bang!
I hope that you are all doing as well. If not start again right now! Even if it's the middle of your day, begin anyway. I'm here with you. I still have quite a way to go too. In the meantime remember that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time! Stay positive! See you next blog! ;-)
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
June 2, 2010 Diet Blog
So I'm doing better. I haven't lost any weight this month (that's unofficially until the 5th) but I haven't gained any either, and I had a bunch of cheat days as well as one "streak" where I couldn't get back to my regimen. Its been pretty tough but I'm okay. My birthday is Sunday. I hope to blast right through it while remaining steadfast on the diet...we'll see...
I had my first pool experience. It wasn't so bad. Last year I felt like the largest person at the pool. UGLY in every sense of the word. This wasn't quite that...but the self esteem is still shaky at best. My bathing suit was the same as last years and I am pleasantly surprised to report that it slid right on loosely and so I felt better about that. Not great...but not SO BIG if you get my drift.
My sister-in-law found someone and he seems wonderful. You may remember she was widowed two years ago suddenly by way of a house fire that her husband purposefully started to commit suicide. She suffered so. The new man in her life is very sweet. He's good to her. He wears hearing aides which makes him perfect for her, because by nature she is very loud. God is good and he does provide if you let him. She said something very profound to me though. She said that she found a very special person in him. That she's going to "allow" herself to have that. I understood the statement. Women-as a general rule self sacrifice...well just about everything for their loved ones. She was no different. I guess "growth" really is an amazing thing in a person. Her husbands exodus from this world changed her... in a good way...in many good ways...
Life is funny that way.
The book is out and signings are lined up. I'm in 201 Magazine this month. It's only a blurb but it felt good just the same. I feel pretty good about it and I hope that it takes off. I sent promotional copies all over the United States and to "stars" like Oprah, Gayle King, Kelly Rippa, John Travolta and his wife Kelly Preston, The View hosts, the Today show hosts...Henry Winkler ,,,the list goes on and on. It's pretty wonderful.
The song "I wanna be a billionaire" by Travie McCoy just came out and my BFF dubbed it my theme song. I laughed SO hard when I heard it- For the most part-it totally fits! I posted it to face book and laughed every time I played it, which was often. It's such a cute song!
Well that's about all the news for the moment. I will rejoin you on the 5th for the official weigh in. (We always LOVE that...) In the meantime try to remember:
You look as good as you can for today, tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Try to stay positive and remember- you are not alone! Have a great day/evening/night. See you next blog! ;-)
I had my first pool experience. It wasn't so bad. Last year I felt like the largest person at the pool. UGLY in every sense of the word. This wasn't quite that...but the self esteem is still shaky at best. My bathing suit was the same as last years and I am pleasantly surprised to report that it slid right on loosely and so I felt better about that. Not great...but not SO BIG if you get my drift.
My sister-in-law found someone and he seems wonderful. You may remember she was widowed two years ago suddenly by way of a house fire that her husband purposefully started to commit suicide. She suffered so. The new man in her life is very sweet. He's good to her. He wears hearing aides which makes him perfect for her, because by nature she is very loud. God is good and he does provide if you let him. She said something very profound to me though. She said that she found a very special person in him. That she's going to "allow" herself to have that. I understood the statement. Women-as a general rule self sacrifice...well just about everything for their loved ones. She was no different. I guess "growth" really is an amazing thing in a person. Her husbands exodus from this world changed her... in a good way...in many good ways...
Life is funny that way.
The book is out and signings are lined up. I'm in 201 Magazine this month. It's only a blurb but it felt good just the same. I feel pretty good about it and I hope that it takes off. I sent promotional copies all over the United States and to "stars" like Oprah, Gayle King, Kelly Rippa, John Travolta and his wife Kelly Preston, The View hosts, the Today show hosts...Henry Winkler ,,,the list goes on and on. It's pretty wonderful.
The song "I wanna be a billionaire" by Travie McCoy just came out and my BFF dubbed it my theme song. I laughed SO hard when I heard it- For the most part-it totally fits! I posted it to face book and laughed every time I played it, which was often. It's such a cute song!
Well that's about all the news for the moment. I will rejoin you on the 5th for the official weigh in. (We always LOVE that...) In the meantime try to remember:
You look as good as you can for today, tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Try to stay positive and remember- you are not alone! Have a great day/evening/night. See you next blog! ;-)
Thursday, May 6, 2010
May, 5, 2010 Diet Blog
It's official. I'm 40 pounds down and counting. It may not be as much this month because the cheat days are close together. Mothers Day is Sunday, Birthdays are at the end of May and the first week of June. I will try to at least maintain the 40 pound mark but we'll see.
I'm happy to report that all of those smaller clothes I purchased are now a very loose fit or just plain too big! I don't have a lot of money right now because the book just came out and it's costly to purchase them but as soon as I do I will go shopping for clothes that actually fit.
Yes! I said costly! The author pays too. I gave them out to friends and family for Mother's Day and of course handed some out for promotional reasons. I "eat" that money literally lol! (Thank heaven there are NO calories! I'd be FAT as a house again!)
I will update again as I am able. In the meantime- take care of you because YOU are important to me.
Remember, you look as good as you can for today, tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! You are NOT alone! See you next blog. ;-)
I'm happy to report that all of those smaller clothes I purchased are now a very loose fit or just plain too big! I don't have a lot of money right now because the book just came out and it's costly to purchase them but as soon as I do I will go shopping for clothes that actually fit.
Yes! I said costly! The author pays too. I gave them out to friends and family for Mother's Day and of course handed some out for promotional reasons. I "eat" that money literally lol! (Thank heaven there are NO calories! I'd be FAT as a house again!)
I will update again as I am able. In the meantime- take care of you because YOU are important to me.
Remember, you look as good as you can for today, tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! You are NOT alone! See you next blog. ;-)
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
April 27, 2010 Diet Blog
Hi! I haven't been on in a while but I wanted to touch base with you. All is well but I've experienced some drastic weakness this week. I am unsure of exactly why because I was doing SO well and losing a lot now makes me want to stick to it...however...
My statistics class couldn't be going worse. I'm all but failing the class and I've never worked harder to pass something. The teacher's English is so poor that I generally have no clue what he is saying and I'm literally teaching it to myself. It has literally become a second job. It has ruined my GPA which was 4.0 and I'm really upset about that. I'm struggling for all I'm worth but drowning anyway.
The book came out though, which was perhaps one of the most profound things in my life to date. It was right up there with giving birth to my kids, the pain was strewn out across twenty years coupled with blood, sweat, tears and frustration. It was so "odd" to see it actually come to fruition. I say "odd" because I was so very completely happy, yet I cried a river, and felt fear if that makes any sense.
I've got several book signings lined up and the girl from work with the abilities to "schmooze" that I do not possess will be helping me along. She is chomping at the bit. I am accepting her help and want it because truthfully, I'm just too shy I think. The talking and signing are hard enough. Booking the stuff is really hard! Also the website is up. It is still under construction but you can get accurate information off of it if you want.
conniemurrayslocum.com
To update you: Bff is doing well, going on the Royal Caribbean book signing with me and is thrilled., Blairstown BFF is still looking for a job. She got a new hair do and that made her feel good. It works for me too. I highly recommend it. PA Bff is trying to get an internship so I'm hoping that happens for her. Hawaii male BFF is still suffering through health issues but has a great attitude and is constantly in my prayers...and on my phone!...Oh the bills...the minutes...Ahhh... lol.
My son and his wife are celebrating their one year anniversary. My searcher vault friend is still happy. She looks great and more relaxed. She just got back from a cruise and says she gained a few pounds...Oh no! ;-) And my co-worker is two weeks into the South Beach diet. She is allowed no carbs. NONE for now. I will keep you posted as I am able but as you can see, things got hectic. Well that's about all for now. I'm off to the courthouse for work.
Until next time remember: You look as good as you can for today, tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! If you need me I'm here...a little less than usual, but I'll be back-to quote Arnold Schwarzenegger. Have a great day! See you next blog!
My statistics class couldn't be going worse. I'm all but failing the class and I've never worked harder to pass something. The teacher's English is so poor that I generally have no clue what he is saying and I'm literally teaching it to myself. It has literally become a second job. It has ruined my GPA which was 4.0 and I'm really upset about that. I'm struggling for all I'm worth but drowning anyway.
The book came out though, which was perhaps one of the most profound things in my life to date. It was right up there with giving birth to my kids, the pain was strewn out across twenty years coupled with blood, sweat, tears and frustration. It was so "odd" to see it actually come to fruition. I say "odd" because I was so very completely happy, yet I cried a river, and felt fear if that makes any sense.
I've got several book signings lined up and the girl from work with the abilities to "schmooze" that I do not possess will be helping me along. She is chomping at the bit. I am accepting her help and want it because truthfully, I'm just too shy I think. The talking and signing are hard enough. Booking the stuff is really hard! Also the website is up. It is still under construction but you can get accurate information off of it if you want.
conniemurrayslocum.com
To update you: Bff is doing well, going on the Royal Caribbean book signing with me and is thrilled., Blairstown BFF is still looking for a job. She got a new hair do and that made her feel good. It works for me too. I highly recommend it. PA Bff is trying to get an internship so I'm hoping that happens for her. Hawaii male BFF is still suffering through health issues but has a great attitude and is constantly in my prayers...and on my phone!...Oh the bills...the minutes...Ahhh... lol.
My son and his wife are celebrating their one year anniversary. My searcher vault friend is still happy. She looks great and more relaxed. She just got back from a cruise and says she gained a few pounds...Oh no! ;-) And my co-worker is two weeks into the South Beach diet. She is allowed no carbs. NONE for now. I will keep you posted as I am able but as you can see, things got hectic. Well that's about all for now. I'm off to the courthouse for work.
Until next time remember: You look as good as you can for today, tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! If you need me I'm here...a little less than usual, but I'll be back-to quote Arnold Schwarzenegger. Have a great day! See you next blog!
Sunday, April 4, 2010
April 5, 2010 Diet Blog
It's a beautiful Easter Sunday! May you have a blessed and serene holiday. It's also my daughter-in-laws birthday. She and my son are spending a happy day together and since his birthday is on the 9th, they will be taking a little mini-vacation. I'm glad that they are so happy.
It is also weigh in day. Yup...as promised I weighed in. The tally is 35 pounds. I guess I'm doing okay with it now. I found that strict works for the most part as long as I have a goal. Today I will cheat. I will enjoy Easter dinner with the family and then go back on the strict until I have my son and daughter in law over for their birthdays. I have to admit to faltering a bit this month though. Not so much that it counted but the pressure was ON! And that's when I lose focus...still.
Its a day to day struggle. I get tired sometimes and just want to be like "everyone else" sometimes but I'm forging ahead. I see the difference in my clothes and in my step. There is a lighter cantor to it these days.
I am under the gun- pressure wise. The math/statistics class is proving to be more difficult than any classes that I've encountered to date. I'm literally teaching it to myself. I'm passing- but just barely. The teacher speaks little English and I'm just so lost. I'm not the only one either. Sadly- my 4.0 went out the window which infuriates me. What are you going to do, right? (sigh)
The book comes out May 1st. There is a magazine article in 201 Magazine to follow in June. I'm lining up book signings. One for Royal Caribbean cruise lines...I'm hoping will put my work on the map- so to speak.
If you want to look it up see my new website at:
conniemurrayslocum.com
if you have a book club or just a bunch of friends who purchased the book and want to have a little get together, let me know! I'll sign the books for them.
So life is good- busy and full...I'm happy but at times overwhelmed. I will still blog as much as I'm able. Summer is coming and that should free me up at least a little because there is no school thankfully. There will be signings and readings though so ... I will keep you posted!
Have a terrific day. AND remember:
YOU look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better! Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time! Stay positive and remember, I'm STILL right here with you! See you next Blog! ;-)
It is also weigh in day. Yup...as promised I weighed in. The tally is 35 pounds. I guess I'm doing okay with it now. I found that strict works for the most part as long as I have a goal. Today I will cheat. I will enjoy Easter dinner with the family and then go back on the strict until I have my son and daughter in law over for their birthdays. I have to admit to faltering a bit this month though. Not so much that it counted but the pressure was ON! And that's when I lose focus...still.
Its a day to day struggle. I get tired sometimes and just want to be like "everyone else" sometimes but I'm forging ahead. I see the difference in my clothes and in my step. There is a lighter cantor to it these days.
I am under the gun- pressure wise. The math/statistics class is proving to be more difficult than any classes that I've encountered to date. I'm literally teaching it to myself. I'm passing- but just barely. The teacher speaks little English and I'm just so lost. I'm not the only one either. Sadly- my 4.0 went out the window which infuriates me. What are you going to do, right? (sigh)
The book comes out May 1st. There is a magazine article in 201 Magazine to follow in June. I'm lining up book signings. One for Royal Caribbean cruise lines...I'm hoping will put my work on the map- so to speak.
If you want to look it up see my new website at:
conniemurrayslocum.com
if you have a book club or just a bunch of friends who purchased the book and want to have a little get together, let me know! I'll sign the books for them.
So life is good- busy and full...I'm happy but at times overwhelmed. I will still blog as much as I'm able. Summer is coming and that should free me up at least a little because there is no school thankfully. There will be signings and readings though so ... I will keep you posted!
Have a terrific day. AND remember:
YOU look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better! Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time! Stay positive and remember, I'm STILL right here with you! See you next Blog! ;-)
Saturday, March 13, 2010
March 13, 2010 Diet Blog
It's been an elevator ride at work this week. It was either really bad and really busy or really nice and really busy. Either way we were really busy. I feel overwhelmed- as do all of my co-workers. The stress level is high and so things are tense. I won't go into more vivid details than that other than to say that there is one co-worker who was so stressed that she tends to 'bully' and push her way through whatever situation presents itself...and this time it was my turn to be on the receiving end of her BS. It's happened before but this time she crossed a line. I just don't feel the same about her. AND THAT saddens me...
On the other end of the spectrum, the book signings are starting to come to fruition. Nothing solid yet but I'm definitely excited these days about that! As one of my other co-workers said 'your life is either black or white- there's NO gray matter....' I laughed because that statement is so true. I did a reading of an excerpt last weekend. It went great!
Sometimes I feel like a weakling up against huge hairy monsters with the strength of superman and sub human powers though, if that makes any sense. I feel lost sometimes. I try to be as good of a person as I can possibly be but I still seem to step off the path...or fall off is more like it- even get pushed off... it's so crazy.
On the 'I can't believe it' portion of this weeks calender one of the Santa's Elf's recipients actually found me! I was amazed at the fortitude it took for him to do that. Plus we really don't know each other. We ended up talking on the phone for hours and hours. He's a lovely, spiritual, gifted person and very easy to talk to. I ended up revealing the secrets behind 'me' as we spoke and I think that he did the same. He is very sick right now. Without going into detail and divulging things that are just between us- my heart and prayers go out to him even though he's just dealing with whatever the Lord's plan might be. He had such a rough life. I'm so glad to count him among the people I label as BFF now. Male's are not usually honored with that title in my world...the one that I did honor with it turned out to be the biggest liar and phony baloney on the planet- not to mention the other bad things... so Male's scare me...still... there's something different about this one...I feel warmth and white light....He knows things that are happening in my life that I haven't told my family and friends, or even wrote to you or spoke of OUT LOUD! Can you believe that?! That is weird for me too.
He knew me by the wrong name as a child too so finding me was strange, especially because the name I signed on the note containing the gifts I sent was 'Santa's Elf.' I'm amazed that he caught me lol. I really didn't think he- or anyone else for that matter- could do that. In my defense this particular person has a 142 IQ though. I didn't stand a chance...and believe it or not I think that explains about his life to a degree too. Genius' have issues. He had them and they weren't cared for or even noticed by the adult authority figures in his life...it's just so sad...still, he's so positive and sweet and warm... that's amazing too. I was called a 'gift from God' by a woman yesterday...but he really is one I think.
The diet? Oh yeah- is THAT why were on here lol? It's going beautifully. In fact I'm leaving for karate in just a few minutes and I'll begin my day. I hope that you are all doing as well. If not- begin today! Start now! You saw me start and stop a million times until it 'took.' Don't give up. You can do it.
In the meantime remember: You look as good as you can for today (which is pretty beautiful to me) tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! And something my Spiritual Male BFF told me: See yourself through HIS eyes...to HIM we are all his children...and truly beautiful...I forgot that for awhile! See you next blog! ;-)
On the other end of the spectrum, the book signings are starting to come to fruition. Nothing solid yet but I'm definitely excited these days about that! As one of my other co-workers said 'your life is either black or white- there's NO gray matter....' I laughed because that statement is so true. I did a reading of an excerpt last weekend. It went great!
Sometimes I feel like a weakling up against huge hairy monsters with the strength of superman and sub human powers though, if that makes any sense. I feel lost sometimes. I try to be as good of a person as I can possibly be but I still seem to step off the path...or fall off is more like it- even get pushed off... it's so crazy.
On the 'I can't believe it' portion of this weeks calender one of the Santa's Elf's recipients actually found me! I was amazed at the fortitude it took for him to do that. Plus we really don't know each other. We ended up talking on the phone for hours and hours. He's a lovely, spiritual, gifted person and very easy to talk to. I ended up revealing the secrets behind 'me' as we spoke and I think that he did the same. He is very sick right now. Without going into detail and divulging things that are just between us- my heart and prayers go out to him even though he's just dealing with whatever the Lord's plan might be. He had such a rough life. I'm so glad to count him among the people I label as BFF now. Male's are not usually honored with that title in my world...the one that I did honor with it turned out to be the biggest liar and phony baloney on the planet- not to mention the other bad things... so Male's scare me...still... there's something different about this one...I feel warmth and white light....He knows things that are happening in my life that I haven't told my family and friends, or even wrote to you or spoke of OUT LOUD! Can you believe that?! That is weird for me too.
He knew me by the wrong name as a child too so finding me was strange, especially because the name I signed on the note containing the gifts I sent was 'Santa's Elf.' I'm amazed that he caught me lol. I really didn't think he- or anyone else for that matter- could do that. In my defense this particular person has a 142 IQ though. I didn't stand a chance...and believe it or not I think that explains about his life to a degree too. Genius' have issues. He had them and they weren't cared for or even noticed by the adult authority figures in his life...it's just so sad...still, he's so positive and sweet and warm... that's amazing too. I was called a 'gift from God' by a woman yesterday...but he really is one I think.
The diet? Oh yeah- is THAT why were on here lol? It's going beautifully. In fact I'm leaving for karate in just a few minutes and I'll begin my day. I hope that you are all doing as well. If not- begin today! Start now! You saw me start and stop a million times until it 'took.' Don't give up. You can do it.
In the meantime remember: You look as good as you can for today (which is pretty beautiful to me) tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! And something my Spiritual Male BFF told me: See yourself through HIS eyes...to HIM we are all his children...and truly beautiful...I forgot that for awhile! See you next blog! ;-)
Friday, March 5, 2010
March 5 2010 Diet Blog
The weigh in as promised. 29 pounds down. Not a big loss but remember I had a huge cheat day and the month was short...at least that's what I'm telling myself as the disappointment filters into my brain. I feel, see and have been hearing that the difference in me is showing big time. I'm wearing smaller clothes and was actually forced to put some of the original ones away because they are so big...so why the small number? I ask myself that. The number is why I choose NOT to weigh in every day or even every week. It's depressing. I like "feeling." It's just better for me.
The next "cheat day is on or around Easter, which is on or around my son's and his wife's birthdays. They will not be here for Easter nor will they be around for their birthdays because they are going away, so I'll work it in around the times that they are available. I'm doing okay with the super strict stretch of time to the cheat day. It's working for me so far so I'm going to continue it.
The funniest thing happened at work the other day. One of my coworkers- the pregnant one came out to the front. She actually had me stand up so that she could examine me ;-). It was weird because I really do have a shy streak and I would've rather hid under the desk but I complied instead. She and the coworker that works the front desk lavished me with praise. That felt nice. I wish that I could see what they see. I feel it sometimes- but REALLY I want to see, you know what I mean? Do you think that it's just the mentality of a "fat" person to think "forever fat thoughts" if you get what I mean? (sigh)
My friend from the searcher vault said something that stuck with me too. She said that she has decided to just "be happy." And she is. Her times have been rough, but she wears that smile and she's got a spring in her step...it's a beautiful thing. I like that philosophy!
Tonight I'm reading the excerpt of my book at an old friend's house on Staten Island. I'm a little nervous, but I'm thrilled to do it. I'm also going to bring a nice bottle of wine I think. I haven't seen her in a very long time. I hope that it goes well.
I'm going to sign off here because I need to get ready for work. As I said I will blog whenever I'm able for now. Everyday is hard because I'm overwhelmed right now with "book stuff." Please post or email or Face book if you need me. I'm still with you....
AND remember, you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! See you next blog! ;-)
The next "cheat day is on or around Easter, which is on or around my son's and his wife's birthdays. They will not be here for Easter nor will they be around for their birthdays because they are going away, so I'll work it in around the times that they are available. I'm doing okay with the super strict stretch of time to the cheat day. It's working for me so far so I'm going to continue it.
The funniest thing happened at work the other day. One of my coworkers- the pregnant one came out to the front. She actually had me stand up so that she could examine me ;-). It was weird because I really do have a shy streak and I would've rather hid under the desk but I complied instead. She and the coworker that works the front desk lavished me with praise. That felt nice. I wish that I could see what they see. I feel it sometimes- but REALLY I want to see, you know what I mean? Do you think that it's just the mentality of a "fat" person to think "forever fat thoughts" if you get what I mean? (sigh)
My friend from the searcher vault said something that stuck with me too. She said that she has decided to just "be happy." And she is. Her times have been rough, but she wears that smile and she's got a spring in her step...it's a beautiful thing. I like that philosophy!
Tonight I'm reading the excerpt of my book at an old friend's house on Staten Island. I'm a little nervous, but I'm thrilled to do it. I'm also going to bring a nice bottle of wine I think. I haven't seen her in a very long time. I hope that it goes well.
I'm going to sign off here because I need to get ready for work. As I said I will blog whenever I'm able for now. Everyday is hard because I'm overwhelmed right now with "book stuff." Please post or email or Face book if you need me. I'm still with you....
AND remember, you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! See you next blog! ;-)
Monday, March 1, 2010
March 1 2010 Diet Blog
The intensity continues at work. The second in command actually got angry at me because two other people were talking, I had a bad connection with the client on the phone and did not tell the two co-workers to stop talking. Uh...hello...I had a bad connection with the client...IE I was working. The bad connection had nothing to do with the conversation between the coworkers...GRRRR
The rest of the day went better but that made for a very stress filled morning. My next cheat day is on or around Easter depending upon my son. He and his wife are going away for their birthdays which are April 5th and 9th. We will get together but I don't know when so we'll see how it goes.
The strict diet has been working for me. I weigh in on the 5th same as always, and as usual I will keep you posted on the results. I feel better. Let's hope that the numbers match.
The book is really coming to fruition now! It's so exciting. They are taking pre-orders and 5 library signings are pending as well as the TSK signings...Helen has stepped into the position of my manager and I really like that. We are cruising in August and we have offered me up to sign books on Board at the book store. I REALLY hope that takes. I've got letters out to everyone right now and I'm praying with all of my might that at LONG LAST I get to see this dream come to pass. I will keep you as up to date as possible.
In the mean time remember: You look as good as you can for today- Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your interpretation of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. Remember- I'm STILL out here with you! Keep ME informed! Take care. See you next blog!
The rest of the day went better but that made for a very stress filled morning. My next cheat day is on or around Easter depending upon my son. He and his wife are going away for their birthdays which are April 5th and 9th. We will get together but I don't know when so we'll see how it goes.
The strict diet has been working for me. I weigh in on the 5th same as always, and as usual I will keep you posted on the results. I feel better. Let's hope that the numbers match.
The book is really coming to fruition now! It's so exciting. They are taking pre-orders and 5 library signings are pending as well as the TSK signings...Helen has stepped into the position of my manager and I really like that. We are cruising in August and we have offered me up to sign books on Board at the book store. I REALLY hope that takes. I've got letters out to everyone right now and I'm praying with all of my might that at LONG LAST I get to see this dream come to pass. I will keep you as up to date as possible.
In the mean time remember: You look as good as you can for today- Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your interpretation of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. Remember- I'm STILL out here with you! Keep ME informed! Take care. See you next blog!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
February 17-21 2010 Diet Blog
It's been a whirlwind since the cover of my book came out. People- book signings- business talks- website-family....it's endless! It's wonderful though. I stuck to the diet except for once when I ate pretzels out of sheer starvation. I did karate and I have a statistics test on Tuesday night which I literally spent from dawn to dusk studying this weekend. I'm exhausted. Forgive me for the length of time between blogs these days but I'm going to get busier before I'm not busy if you know what I mean. ...And may I just add "Whew!" to that thought.
This might have to be every few days instead of every day- but I'll try to get on as often as I'm able.
I learned a lot about loving myself this week. Amid the chaos THAT is the message that stood out. I feel blessed and heard by the Lord and nestled among my angels... I'll keep you posted on the progress of course. See you next blog! ;-)
This might have to be every few days instead of every day- but I'll try to get on as often as I'm able.
I learned a lot about loving myself this week. Amid the chaos THAT is the message that stood out. I feel blessed and heard by the Lord and nestled among my angels... I'll keep you posted on the progress of course. See you next blog! ;-)
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
February 16-17, 2010 Diet Blog
Tuesday was spent recuperating from the four day weekend at lightning speed. It was so busy at work that I thought I was going to have to have the phone surgically attached to my ear and the file cabinet surgically attached to my butt. Whew! I scrambled home and then went to school. It had snowed all day so it was wet and slushy then turning to ice. I got through the class with a vague understanding of what he was teaching so I felt pretty good and spoke to a Santa's Elf recipient on the phone for about 30 minutes. It's getting funny. The recipient is trying to use psychology I think. They claim now- not to care if they find out who I am or not. Too funny.
Blairstown BFF had a job interview today. I sure hope that she gets it. It's only a temp for now but possibility of permanent if she works out they said. Say a prayer for her if you think of it.
Today was busy too. I brought the book cover in that my best BFF had framed for me so that everyone could see. The support was overwhelming. I just hope that they all buy copies of the book. It does seem like everyone wants it free. Unfortunately that's not a thing I'll be able to do. They give me a few but that's it! I need to sell them. (sigh)
The girl that I thought hated me at work has many connections and hooked me up with a book signing today. I was astonished. I'm beyond pleased! I hardly know what to say...I said yes obviously...I'm NOT dumb!
I wore the red satin blouse that I got for Valentine's Day and the black slacks that used to be too small. Everyone said how great I looked. I wish it would come off faster. Sadly- we have to start at one pound and go from there. "Love yourself" was the topic of conversation after that. My supervisor overheard me call myself "just a receptionist." She said "we put our best and brightest up here at the front desk." I nearly fell out of my chair. She said it sternly- but I think she meant it nicely...odd right? After she left I couldn't help but take the opportunity to wonder out loud to my co-worker "I wish they paid us as the best and the brightest...." she agreed with a hearty laugh.
We were entertained by an amateur magician today. He borrowed my pen, then he went to hand it back to me and it disappeared. I know the shock value on my face was great. He grinned and showed it to me in his other hand. My coworker missed it and so she made him do it again. I was thankful because I wanted to see it too. I watched like a hawk. I have no idea how he got it from one hand to the other. It was a nice break in the crazy normal day at court.
15 dolphins got stuck in the Hackensack River right by the courthouse today. It was very upsetting. How on earth did those poor things get so detoured. News was there, media...I'm sure that they were so frightened. I hope they are okay.
Home was warm and welcoming. I did some laundry, had some dinner, did a bit of homework, face booked and wrote this blog. Now...a hot shower is finally in order to end my day just right.
I'll sign off here! Have an excellent night! See you next blog! ;-)
Blairstown BFF had a job interview today. I sure hope that she gets it. It's only a temp for now but possibility of permanent if she works out they said. Say a prayer for her if you think of it.
Today was busy too. I brought the book cover in that my best BFF had framed for me so that everyone could see. The support was overwhelming. I just hope that they all buy copies of the book. It does seem like everyone wants it free. Unfortunately that's not a thing I'll be able to do. They give me a few but that's it! I need to sell them. (sigh)
The girl that I thought hated me at work has many connections and hooked me up with a book signing today. I was astonished. I'm beyond pleased! I hardly know what to say...I said yes obviously...I'm NOT dumb!
I wore the red satin blouse that I got for Valentine's Day and the black slacks that used to be too small. Everyone said how great I looked. I wish it would come off faster. Sadly- we have to start at one pound and go from there. "Love yourself" was the topic of conversation after that. My supervisor overheard me call myself "just a receptionist." She said "we put our best and brightest up here at the front desk." I nearly fell out of my chair. She said it sternly- but I think she meant it nicely...odd right? After she left I couldn't help but take the opportunity to wonder out loud to my co-worker "I wish they paid us as the best and the brightest...." she agreed with a hearty laugh.
We were entertained by an amateur magician today. He borrowed my pen, then he went to hand it back to me and it disappeared. I know the shock value on my face was great. He grinned and showed it to me in his other hand. My coworker missed it and so she made him do it again. I was thankful because I wanted to see it too. I watched like a hawk. I have no idea how he got it from one hand to the other. It was a nice break in the crazy normal day at court.
15 dolphins got stuck in the Hackensack River right by the courthouse today. It was very upsetting. How on earth did those poor things get so detoured. News was there, media...I'm sure that they were so frightened. I hope they are okay.
Home was warm and welcoming. I did some laundry, had some dinner, did a bit of homework, face booked and wrote this blog. Now...a hot shower is finally in order to end my day just right.
I'll sign off here! Have an excellent night! See you next blog! ;-)
Monday, February 15, 2010
February 15, 2010 Diet Blog
Had bad stomach pains all day. I'm pretty sure that it is from the cheat day. I guess that's as good a deterrent as any. I am back on the diet- fighting to go strict. It really is a fight not to be bad...funny right. It shouldn't be considering how awful being bad actually made me feel.
My best BFF printed a color picture of the cover to my book, framed it and brought it over late last night as a Valentine's gift to me. I cried. I've cried a lot since the cover came out. It's overwhelming. I'm so happy. It's like the dream is finally within reach.
Blairstown BFF popped by. She had forgotten her camera the other night when I had the dinner. No one took any pictures but we all had cameras. I think that's kind of funny in a way.
The four day weekend is over sadly. Tomorrow I resume my crazy schedule. It's supposed to snow again, which I'm not happy about. I hate driving in it. I have both work and school tomorrow. My knee hurts though so it's definitely going to do something.
My son called me and we spoke for about an hour. For the first time, I think that he misses me. I haven't felt that before. I loved talking to him and sharing with him... I miss him so much. That "empty nest syndrome" thing is NOT a joke. I suffered terribly.
There's not much more to add than that. I'm going to go curl up in bed and rest. The cheat day was fun but I still feel like I'm suffering the after effects of it. The next one will be in April. Easter is on the 2nd, my son's birthday will be celebrated the week before or after the 9th because his wife and he are going on vacation.
I will- as always- keep you posted. Have a great night (or day depending upon when you read this). See you next blog. ;-)
My best BFF printed a color picture of the cover to my book, framed it and brought it over late last night as a Valentine's gift to me. I cried. I've cried a lot since the cover came out. It's overwhelming. I'm so happy. It's like the dream is finally within reach.
Blairstown BFF popped by. She had forgotten her camera the other night when I had the dinner. No one took any pictures but we all had cameras. I think that's kind of funny in a way.
The four day weekend is over sadly. Tomorrow I resume my crazy schedule. It's supposed to snow again, which I'm not happy about. I hate driving in it. I have both work and school tomorrow. My knee hurts though so it's definitely going to do something.
My son called me and we spoke for about an hour. For the first time, I think that he misses me. I haven't felt that before. I loved talking to him and sharing with him... I miss him so much. That "empty nest syndrome" thing is NOT a joke. I suffered terribly.
There's not much more to add than that. I'm going to go curl up in bed and rest. The cheat day was fun but I still feel like I'm suffering the after effects of it. The next one will be in April. Easter is on the 2nd, my son's birthday will be celebrated the week before or after the 9th because his wife and he are going on vacation.
I will- as always- keep you posted. Have a great night (or day depending upon when you read this). See you next blog. ;-)
Sunday, February 14, 2010
February 9-14 Diet Blog
I'm sorry it's been so long since I've blogged. My calendar got very full between blizzards, housework, needs of friends and dates to social events.
The most exciting thing that happened was seeing the cover of my book! There were three choices. I chose- with the help of my family and BFF- the one that was best. It was unanimous as funny as that sounds. It was meant to be I guess.
My son, his wife, my husband and his family, and Blairstown BFF came to my house for a little dinner party on the 13th for Valentine's Day. It was my cheat day. I did cheat badly...I'm suffering for it today. I feel just awful. I got up at 5:30 am to be sick, then went back to bed and woke up at 11am. I feel better but not great. Haven't eaten anything.
My little niece and nephew want us to come over today. My sister-in-law has a date. It's the first official date since her husband passed. She's scared but okay. It's not that she hasn't been with guy friends since but she wants a relationship she thinks and she has to get her feet wet in that area again. She spent a lot of time not feeling....it's got to be so hard. I am praying for her.
One thing that happened left me feeling pretty amazing in these past few days. My best BFF invited me to a make up party and although I don't really wear it I went. I was honest with the representative about that fact. I was the oldest one there by ten years sadly. I know because it was part of the questions.
The woman loved me though and used my face to demonstrate the creams and make up. Non-allergenic thankfully...it was the first thing I asked because I'm super sensitive to that stuff. Anyway, she and the women- that I do not know- kept saying that I had such beautiful skin, such pretty eyes- that I so do not look 50...it was so cool to be me.... I purchased hand cream. My best BFF booked a party at her house. I think that I will order the make up then. I did look pretty when she was done. Not caked up- which is a look I hate on women.
That's about it for the highlights of these last few days. My next cheat date will be on or around Easter, which is right around my son's and my daughter in law's birthdays. They mentioned going away for those dates, which I think is wonderful. He will get together with me before or after their trip. So more than likely- my cheat day will fall at that time.
My son told me that he was proud of me yesterday. I'm still reeling from that sentence. Those words mean so much to me....
I'll sign off on that note. Have a great day. Happy Valentine's Day. See you next blog. ;-)
The most exciting thing that happened was seeing the cover of my book! There were three choices. I chose- with the help of my family and BFF- the one that was best. It was unanimous as funny as that sounds. It was meant to be I guess.
My son, his wife, my husband and his family, and Blairstown BFF came to my house for a little dinner party on the 13th for Valentine's Day. It was my cheat day. I did cheat badly...I'm suffering for it today. I feel just awful. I got up at 5:30 am to be sick, then went back to bed and woke up at 11am. I feel better but not great. Haven't eaten anything.
My little niece and nephew want us to come over today. My sister-in-law has a date. It's the first official date since her husband passed. She's scared but okay. It's not that she hasn't been with guy friends since but she wants a relationship she thinks and she has to get her feet wet in that area again. She spent a lot of time not feeling....it's got to be so hard. I am praying for her.
One thing that happened left me feeling pretty amazing in these past few days. My best BFF invited me to a make up party and although I don't really wear it I went. I was honest with the representative about that fact. I was the oldest one there by ten years sadly. I know because it was part of the questions.
The woman loved me though and used my face to demonstrate the creams and make up. Non-allergenic thankfully...it was the first thing I asked because I'm super sensitive to that stuff. Anyway, she and the women- that I do not know- kept saying that I had such beautiful skin, such pretty eyes- that I so do not look 50...it was so cool to be me.... I purchased hand cream. My best BFF booked a party at her house. I think that I will order the make up then. I did look pretty when she was done. Not caked up- which is a look I hate on women.
That's about it for the highlights of these last few days. My next cheat date will be on or around Easter, which is right around my son's and my daughter in law's birthdays. They mentioned going away for those dates, which I think is wonderful. He will get together with me before or after their trip. So more than likely- my cheat day will fall at that time.
My son told me that he was proud of me yesterday. I'm still reeling from that sentence. Those words mean so much to me....
I'll sign off on that note. Have a great day. Happy Valentine's Day. See you next blog. ;-)
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
February 8-9, 2010 Diet Blog
I crawled through work on Monday. I was exhausted from the football party I guess but I got totally back on track with my diet. My stomach burned all day and when I got home I literally fell into bed. I was never so happy to see my pillow.
Tuesday was fine too. The morning was very rough but the afternoon got better. Everyone is completely on edge it seems. I wonder if its the pending snowstorm. We are supposed to get one heck of a blizzard. To be honest- that kind of fits with my life lately. My best BFF text me to tell me that she cannot get over how beautiful I looked at the football party. That made me feel good. The lawyer on staff was busy but had to handle a man that came in because as a receptionist my knowledge is limited about the court cases. I helped him to a point but I had to go get her. She get very nasty about it- as if I have ANY say what so ever about who comes into the court. She ended up sitting him in a private booth- not once but twice before he left. What's THAT tell you? Obviously I couldn't have helped him. Her paralegal tells me at lunch that the lawyer apologised to HER for being nasty. I very clearly let her know that I was the one who the lawyer should've apologised to. She was out of line. I hope that she went right back to her with the story.
Then I got a call where the client on the other end was extremely upset. She was complaining about a girl that had retired three years ago though. (Clearly the person that she was upset with gave the retirees name because they knew that they'd be in trouble.) That was the extent of my knowledge about the incident. I gave the call to my supervisor to handle. After the call she came out and reprimanded ME about the call. In what I felt was an accusatory manner she said to me that she'd "better not hear of anyone using another person's name." Hello jerk- I didn't even handle the call. The receptionist next to me got the original call and we are well aware of who she passed it to. That person- the guilty one is the supervisors good friend. She's also a drunk and short tempered and nasty a lot. I didn't tell but we both knew who the culprit was. I was infuriated though. How DARE she think that I would do that?! It's crap.
The morning went on with those as the highlights. By lunch time I was ready to jump ship- tell them ALL off and just forget about it...sadly in this bad economy I cannot afford to do that...I was forced to swallow it but it ate my insides up. My stomach burned with the fury of a brush fire in dry timberland. Then an angel rescued me.
One of the younger employees that did not know the situation sat down next to me at lunch. He was excited to tell me that he had overheard the boss saying some pretty wonderful things about me. Afterwards I just felt so much better. I needed that. I think the angels were watching, saw and led him to me. I get that everyone is stressed but why is it okay-or for them to think it's okay- to take it out on the front desk? AARGH!!!
Anyway- the rest of the day went better with that knowledge tucked away in my brain. School went better. I'm still a bit lost but better off than I was. I'm going to reread and go over everything this weekend. It's a four day weekend that I know of...maybe more if the storm really hits.
I'll sign off here. See you next blog! ;-)
Tuesday was fine too. The morning was very rough but the afternoon got better. Everyone is completely on edge it seems. I wonder if its the pending snowstorm. We are supposed to get one heck of a blizzard. To be honest- that kind of fits with my life lately. My best BFF text me to tell me that she cannot get over how beautiful I looked at the football party. That made me feel good. The lawyer on staff was busy but had to handle a man that came in because as a receptionist my knowledge is limited about the court cases. I helped him to a point but I had to go get her. She get very nasty about it- as if I have ANY say what so ever about who comes into the court. She ended up sitting him in a private booth- not once but twice before he left. What's THAT tell you? Obviously I couldn't have helped him. Her paralegal tells me at lunch that the lawyer apologised to HER for being nasty. I very clearly let her know that I was the one who the lawyer should've apologised to. She was out of line. I hope that she went right back to her with the story.
Then I got a call where the client on the other end was extremely upset. She was complaining about a girl that had retired three years ago though. (Clearly the person that she was upset with gave the retirees name because they knew that they'd be in trouble.) That was the extent of my knowledge about the incident. I gave the call to my supervisor to handle. After the call she came out and reprimanded ME about the call. In what I felt was an accusatory manner she said to me that she'd "better not hear of anyone using another person's name." Hello jerk- I didn't even handle the call. The receptionist next to me got the original call and we are well aware of who she passed it to. That person- the guilty one is the supervisors good friend. She's also a drunk and short tempered and nasty a lot. I didn't tell but we both knew who the culprit was. I was infuriated though. How DARE she think that I would do that?! It's crap.
The morning went on with those as the highlights. By lunch time I was ready to jump ship- tell them ALL off and just forget about it...sadly in this bad economy I cannot afford to do that...I was forced to swallow it but it ate my insides up. My stomach burned with the fury of a brush fire in dry timberland. Then an angel rescued me.
One of the younger employees that did not know the situation sat down next to me at lunch. He was excited to tell me that he had overheard the boss saying some pretty wonderful things about me. Afterwards I just felt so much better. I needed that. I think the angels were watching, saw and led him to me. I get that everyone is stressed but why is it okay-or for them to think it's okay- to take it out on the front desk? AARGH!!!
Anyway- the rest of the day went better with that knowledge tucked away in my brain. School went better. I'm still a bit lost but better off than I was. I'm going to reread and go over everything this weekend. It's a four day weekend that I know of...maybe more if the storm really hits.
I'll sign off here. See you next blog! ;-)
Sunday, February 7, 2010
February 7, 2010 Diet Blog
Superbowl Sunday. Party tonight at my best BFF's house. She hasn't seen me in two weeks. I was shocked by her response. She couldn't get over how thin my face looked. Back to my old self- she said among other things. It was so great.
I started the day out with statistics. I read the last two chapters and hopefully taught myself the math properly. I did that until noon. I started long about 8am. It was so hard though. I'll let you know but as of right now, the homework is completely done to the absolute best of my limited ability.
I shopped for the party. I promised my BFF that I would pick up hors devours for the event. I picked up a tray of different fruits, one of cheese and crackers and one of hot wings, plus two bottles of wine. She was thrilled when I arrived with it. I was glad.I miss her through the week. We aren't able to get together as much as we used to.
She introduced me to the crowd as her best friend tonight. I felt very good about that. I knew we were that, and I think of her that way...but I was so glad to know that she thought of me that way too.
The night was spent with the men in the living room watching the game and us women in the kitchen and dining room cooking, drinking wine and tossing the bull. It was awesome. I literally talked to everyone including the men as they ventured into female territory to touch base with their significant others or to check on the children who were all in the garage turned rec room just off of the kitchen, supposedly watching the game...(yeah right...)
It was a fun evening. It's 10:10pm and I'm home- heading for the cozy warmth of my flannel pj's and my pillow and blanket. Hope your weekend was as great as mine. I love being busy. It makes me not miss being a mom so very much.... Next weekend- my baby comes home. He and his wife are coming for dinner. I cannot wait. See you next blog. ;-)
I started the day out with statistics. I read the last two chapters and hopefully taught myself the math properly. I did that until noon. I started long about 8am. It was so hard though. I'll let you know but as of right now, the homework is completely done to the absolute best of my limited ability.
I shopped for the party. I promised my BFF that I would pick up hors devours for the event. I picked up a tray of different fruits, one of cheese and crackers and one of hot wings, plus two bottles of wine. She was thrilled when I arrived with it. I was glad.I miss her through the week. We aren't able to get together as much as we used to.
She introduced me to the crowd as her best friend tonight. I felt very good about that. I knew we were that, and I think of her that way...but I was so glad to know that she thought of me that way too.
The night was spent with the men in the living room watching the game and us women in the kitchen and dining room cooking, drinking wine and tossing the bull. It was awesome. I literally talked to everyone including the men as they ventured into female territory to touch base with their significant others or to check on the children who were all in the garage turned rec room just off of the kitchen, supposedly watching the game...(yeah right...)
It was a fun evening. It's 10:10pm and I'm home- heading for the cozy warmth of my flannel pj's and my pillow and blanket. Hope your weekend was as great as mine. I love being busy. It makes me not miss being a mom so very much.... Next weekend- my baby comes home. He and his wife are coming for dinner. I cannot wait. See you next blog. ;-)
February 5-6, 2010 Diet Blog
Stood strong both days on my diet. The grand total of the weigh in this month is 6 pounds bringing the total to 25. Not a bad number if you like numbers. I prefer other methods of measuring my weight loss. Do you remember the pants that I purchased too small for me? I'm wearing them now and I'm in a seated position. They are tight-ish but no problem. I'm feeling very good about that!
I thought Friday would never end. I raced home because I promised my husband that I would. He taped "Lost" because of our busy schedules and Friday we were going to watch it at long last. It was 3 hours worth of television. That's a lot for me. I fall asleep when its on usually. I forced myself to stay awake but when it was over I was done for the night and made a hasty retreat into my bed.
Saturday I was up at the crack of dawn and had done numerous tasks before 7am when I allowed myself to enjoy my first cup of coffee. I printed up several hard copies of the book as promised to friends and got them ready to give or mail depending, I got notified by the publisher that they received the back cover teaser-blurb and are very happy with it, I got ALL of my Valentine's Day Gifts and cards ready for mailing- this may sound simple unless you have been the recipient of one...I put footprints/serenity prayers in some, confetti in some, lottery tickets in some, combinations and gifts in others...you get the idea. I had two cups of coffee. Karate was at 9:30. I tried to hide in the back but there was no way they were letting me off so easily. He put me right up front and in the middle.... I nearly died of embarrassment. I'm very shy. He knows that...he enjoyed himself emensely... Afterwards, I went out on the mat with a new student which was very cool for me. Joshu Barbara worked with both of us. It allowed me to see that I still know a thing or two. I got teased about talking on the mat and felt my face burn red- which he loved... sooo I guess I'm REALLY back. (Sheesh...)
The rest of the day was spent doing statistics homework. I literally had to teach it to myself because the professor doesn't speak English. It was so hard. Math is NOT my forte. I'm of a creative mind set- math of any kind boggles my brain. I started at the beginning-read every chapter and did every assignment in the book until I thought I was going to barf numbers if I didn't stop. Dinner, a hot shower and the television on and I was a goner by 8;30pm.
Sunday is just as busy but I will tell you then. I'll sign off here! Enjoy the football bowl tomorrow! ;-)
I thought Friday would never end. I raced home because I promised my husband that I would. He taped "Lost" because of our busy schedules and Friday we were going to watch it at long last. It was 3 hours worth of television. That's a lot for me. I fall asleep when its on usually. I forced myself to stay awake but when it was over I was done for the night and made a hasty retreat into my bed.
Saturday I was up at the crack of dawn and had done numerous tasks before 7am when I allowed myself to enjoy my first cup of coffee. I printed up several hard copies of the book as promised to friends and got them ready to give or mail depending, I got notified by the publisher that they received the back cover teaser-blurb and are very happy with it, I got ALL of my Valentine's Day Gifts and cards ready for mailing- this may sound simple unless you have been the recipient of one...I put footprints/serenity prayers in some, confetti in some, lottery tickets in some, combinations and gifts in others...you get the idea. I had two cups of coffee. Karate was at 9:30. I tried to hide in the back but there was no way they were letting me off so easily. He put me right up front and in the middle.... I nearly died of embarrassment. I'm very shy. He knows that...he enjoyed himself emensely... Afterwards, I went out on the mat with a new student which was very cool for me. Joshu Barbara worked with both of us. It allowed me to see that I still know a thing or two. I got teased about talking on the mat and felt my face burn red- which he loved... sooo I guess I'm REALLY back. (Sheesh...)
The rest of the day was spent doing statistics homework. I literally had to teach it to myself because the professor doesn't speak English. It was so hard. Math is NOT my forte. I'm of a creative mind set- math of any kind boggles my brain. I started at the beginning-read every chapter and did every assignment in the book until I thought I was going to barf numbers if I didn't stop. Dinner, a hot shower and the television on and I was a goner by 8;30pm.
Sunday is just as busy but I will tell you then. I'll sign off here! Enjoy the football bowl tomorrow! ;-)
Thursday, February 4, 2010
February 3 and 4, 2010 Diet Blog
Forgive me for not blogging yesterday but I have an awesome excuse. I got contacted by the publisher and they needed the blurb- teaser written for the back cover of my book. I'm next on the editing list too. I'm so excited I could die of happiness! It's been such a dream of mine...this is it! Here we go! It's really happening at long, long last!
It was fairly slow client wise but the phones kept us going yesterday. Today was horrendous! We were severely busy. It got overwhelming. In the midst of that one of my judges friends and a boss himself decided to tease me. My coworker said that my face was bright red. I believe her because I felt it.
My searcher BFF came in today. She has some personal issues going on and really needed a friend. I was the best one I could be in between phone calls but no where near the friend that I wanted to be to her. I need to visit with her outside of the office. We'll just have to figure something out.
One of my old high school pals has taken to teasing me mercilessly too. I think I am a little deserving because I played back but sheesh! He's got me beat. I have to send up a white flag pretty soon or just get used to my face being red all of the time. I have to admit- it is pretty fun and funny, but I just want to be careful. Losing a friend over playfulness is not something I care to have happen. Plus, he was one of the Santa's Elf gift recipients. I had no idea it would drive him this insane. He wants to thank the person. I understand. I've been there too but you just have to let it go sometimes and let the chips fall where they may.
I stuck to the diet like glue. Tomorrow is the monthly weigh in. I'm trying not to think about it because it'll get me crazy. I have school tonight so that will keep my mind occupied! Statistics- UG!
So that's the whole thing in short hand for the last two days. I'll sign off here reminding you that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you next blog! ;-)
It was fairly slow client wise but the phones kept us going yesterday. Today was horrendous! We were severely busy. It got overwhelming. In the midst of that one of my judges friends and a boss himself decided to tease me. My coworker said that my face was bright red. I believe her because I felt it.
My searcher BFF came in today. She has some personal issues going on and really needed a friend. I was the best one I could be in between phone calls but no where near the friend that I wanted to be to her. I need to visit with her outside of the office. We'll just have to figure something out.
One of my old high school pals has taken to teasing me mercilessly too. I think I am a little deserving because I played back but sheesh! He's got me beat. I have to send up a white flag pretty soon or just get used to my face being red all of the time. I have to admit- it is pretty fun and funny, but I just want to be careful. Losing a friend over playfulness is not something I care to have happen. Plus, he was one of the Santa's Elf gift recipients. I had no idea it would drive him this insane. He wants to thank the person. I understand. I've been there too but you just have to let it go sometimes and let the chips fall where they may.
I stuck to the diet like glue. Tomorrow is the monthly weigh in. I'm trying not to think about it because it'll get me crazy. I have school tonight so that will keep my mind occupied! Statistics- UG!
So that's the whole thing in short hand for the last two days. I'll sign off here reminding you that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you next blog! ;-)
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
February 2, 2010 Diet Blog
"It's not what you're eating...it's what's eating you..." a face book friend quoted on her page today. You know- there is some truth to that. As I've so often mentioned stress and depression send me running to the fridge. Sometimes there is something else though. Something I cannot put my finger on. That "something" happened today. It's not the first time.
Today at lunch the girls noticed that I look better for the first time. After I reconnected my jaw I thanked them but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to believe them. Does that make sense? I think not. I heard the words they were saying alright but it was as if they bounced off me or something. For whatever reason, that made me want to run for the food comfort zone. I'm astonished at myself. And I do not understand the reaction.
Is there such a thing as a mid life crisis for women? I'm so weird lately. I truly don't understand myself...maybe it's the synthetic hormone replacements since the hysterectomy... I don't know. I changed into jeans and a sweatshirt for school because it is snowy and cold outside, but I felt ugly. Uglier. I can't explain it. Is it fear of a sort? It's definitely stupidity of a sort.
I didn't cheat on the diet but it was a serious struggle after that point. I can't help wonder if I'm abnormal or something or if other's experience that kind of feeling. I thought that I'd be thrilled. I am...or am I? Gees I could get totally twisted over it!
I worked all day. My voice is holding but shaky. School tonight wasn't bad. I actually understand a lot of what is being taught. Maybe I'm going to be okay here.
I'm going to sign off here because I'm freezing and it's getting late. I want to crawl under the nice warm quilt and forget about my idiosyncrasies. It's going to be okay. I just have to get hold of my emotions and corral the negativity so that the positive ions have a change to spread out and manifest good feelings about myself. See you next blog. ;-)
Today at lunch the girls noticed that I look better for the first time. After I reconnected my jaw I thanked them but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to believe them. Does that make sense? I think not. I heard the words they were saying alright but it was as if they bounced off me or something. For whatever reason, that made me want to run for the food comfort zone. I'm astonished at myself. And I do not understand the reaction.
Is there such a thing as a mid life crisis for women? I'm so weird lately. I truly don't understand myself...maybe it's the synthetic hormone replacements since the hysterectomy... I don't know. I changed into jeans and a sweatshirt for school because it is snowy and cold outside, but I felt ugly. Uglier. I can't explain it. Is it fear of a sort? It's definitely stupidity of a sort.
I didn't cheat on the diet but it was a serious struggle after that point. I can't help wonder if I'm abnormal or something or if other's experience that kind of feeling. I thought that I'd be thrilled. I am...or am I? Gees I could get totally twisted over it!
I worked all day. My voice is holding but shaky. School tonight wasn't bad. I actually understand a lot of what is being taught. Maybe I'm going to be okay here.
I'm going to sign off here because I'm freezing and it's getting late. I want to crawl under the nice warm quilt and forget about my idiosyncrasies. It's going to be okay. I just have to get hold of my emotions and corral the negativity so that the positive ions have a change to spread out and manifest good feelings about myself. See you next blog. ;-)
Monday, February 1, 2010
February 1, 2010 Diet Blog
It's been such a long day. I just feel exhausted. My voice was a hoarse version of raspy by the day's end of work. I just stopped talking after that. I read the past two homework's plus next weeks just to be familiar with the new stuff as it is introduced. I'm feeling okay about it. In a way- some of it seems vaguely familiar anyway...go figure.
My BFF from the searcher vault stopped by today. Unfortunately we had like one minute to talk before the phones exploded and I got totally overwhelmed. She was there long enough to say that she could see that my clothes are getting big. That was the high light of my day...clearly she's a keeper.
I pretty much spent the rest of the night talking through typing on face book. One of the girls I'm friends with is one I knew from high school. I knew of her but not her. She seems so genuine and so nice. She requested to read one of the drafts to my books. I had offered awhile back but she didn't respond and so I didn't mention it again. I'm not one to push myself down the throats of others. It's just not my way. I felt so good when she asked me to read it though. She had mentioned that she was a fan of reading, which was why I had originally offered in the first place. I didn't take insult when she didn't respond, I just figured she'd catch it when the actual book comes out this summer...but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I wish she'd asked to see it. Funny how things work out sometimes, isn't it? I told her to private inbox message me her address and I'd get it right out! I feel really good about that.
I hired Blairstown buddy to type the four books I lost when the computer crashed. I have the hard copies but I've needed them typed in. She needs money. It's a win-win situation. She accepted the offer. If she didn't I have another friend in NJ and one in Hawaii that are in between jobs too. I'm sure someone would do it. I'm glad it was her though. Life is good.
I'll sign off here because I need to crawl under the quilt and get warm and rested. School tomorrow night after work- and it's just so damn cold. It's chilling me right to the bone these days. I stuck to the diet though...haven't broken it! Have an excellent rest of the day or night, depending upon what time it is by you. See you in the next blog! ;-)
My BFF from the searcher vault stopped by today. Unfortunately we had like one minute to talk before the phones exploded and I got totally overwhelmed. She was there long enough to say that she could see that my clothes are getting big. That was the high light of my day...clearly she's a keeper.
I pretty much spent the rest of the night talking through typing on face book. One of the girls I'm friends with is one I knew from high school. I knew of her but not her. She seems so genuine and so nice. She requested to read one of the drafts to my books. I had offered awhile back but she didn't respond and so I didn't mention it again. I'm not one to push myself down the throats of others. It's just not my way. I felt so good when she asked me to read it though. She had mentioned that she was a fan of reading, which was why I had originally offered in the first place. I didn't take insult when she didn't respond, I just figured she'd catch it when the actual book comes out this summer...but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I wish she'd asked to see it. Funny how things work out sometimes, isn't it? I told her to private inbox message me her address and I'd get it right out! I feel really good about that.
I hired Blairstown buddy to type the four books I lost when the computer crashed. I have the hard copies but I've needed them typed in. She needs money. It's a win-win situation. She accepted the offer. If she didn't I have another friend in NJ and one in Hawaii that are in between jobs too. I'm sure someone would do it. I'm glad it was her though. Life is good.
I'll sign off here because I need to crawl under the quilt and get warm and rested. School tomorrow night after work- and it's just so damn cold. It's chilling me right to the bone these days. I stuck to the diet though...haven't broken it! Have an excellent rest of the day or night, depending upon what time it is by you. See you in the next blog! ;-)
Sunday, January 31, 2010
January 29-31, 2010 Diet Blog
It's been a whirlwind weekend. My voice left me at work and became a raspy version of it's smoother, former self. A headache began and by the end of the day I was thinking home and hearth were going to be my weekend domain despite all of the plans that I had made. I just couldn't disappoint my best BFF though. Since I have two pills left on the antibiotics from the urinary infection, I know that whatever I have cannot be contagious and so I went over as planned. I drank tea and we talked the night away with a third friend that had helped her paint the ceilings before I got there. The house is looking amazingly good! I left at 10pm.
Saturday morning began with karate at 9:30am. I am feeling so good about going but I have to admit the cold is killing my joints. Still, I did it. I'm happy with myself. The rest of the morning was filled by doing several Valentine's gifts and getting the rest ready for mailing this week. I hope that the girl scout cookies I ordered for my son and my hubby come in before the day...they are thin mint fans and that's their gift from me if they come in on time.
One of the "Santa's Elf" recipients is going crazy trying to find out the true identity of the person that helped them. According to a reliable source- the Elf really helped him out of a tough spot. As thrilled as I am to hear it- I really want to remain anonymous. I know the feeling though. That balloon on my car etc left me half crazed too. I'll keep you posted.
Late afternoon was spent at the nail salon getting my nails and feet done. I felt like a million bucks by the end and got healthy compliments all day including one from a gentleman who held a door open for me claiming that it was his honor to hold the door for such a beautiful woman after I said thank you. I almost fainted right there! I liked that obviously...it's not something that happens every day.
It's Sunday now. Mid-afternoon. I'm doing laundry, I watched some taped shows with my hubby and am going to do my math homework shortly. My day will be spent inside as my voice is still strange, although slightly better.
Have a great day. I'll see you next blog!...and YES! I stuck to the diet like glue. Weigh in is on the 5th as always! ;-)
Saturday morning began with karate at 9:30am. I am feeling so good about going but I have to admit the cold is killing my joints. Still, I did it. I'm happy with myself. The rest of the morning was filled by doing several Valentine's gifts and getting the rest ready for mailing this week. I hope that the girl scout cookies I ordered for my son and my hubby come in before the day...they are thin mint fans and that's their gift from me if they come in on time.
One of the "Santa's Elf" recipients is going crazy trying to find out the true identity of the person that helped them. According to a reliable source- the Elf really helped him out of a tough spot. As thrilled as I am to hear it- I really want to remain anonymous. I know the feeling though. That balloon on my car etc left me half crazed too. I'll keep you posted.
Late afternoon was spent at the nail salon getting my nails and feet done. I felt like a million bucks by the end and got healthy compliments all day including one from a gentleman who held a door open for me claiming that it was his honor to hold the door for such a beautiful woman after I said thank you. I almost fainted right there! I liked that obviously...it's not something that happens every day.
It's Sunday now. Mid-afternoon. I'm doing laundry, I watched some taped shows with my hubby and am going to do my math homework shortly. My day will be spent inside as my voice is still strange, although slightly better.
Have a great day. I'll see you next blog!...and YES! I stuck to the diet like glue. Weigh in is on the 5th as always! ;-)
Thursday, January 28, 2010
January 28, 2010 Diet Blog
Kicking butt and taking names!! I had a busy day at work, but not a bad one. It was decidedly a lot like Monday was. I have to admit that I was glad to see 4;30 come. I mailed out one of the Valentine's Joke gifts because it will take ten days to reach its destination if its anything like a regular letter. It is literally an envelope in an envelope in an envelope with a tiny card in the end saying "I wondered if you'd go all the way." No signature and I used their own return address! I laughed all of the way to the mailbox. The line is an inside joke and the victim is an old friend. We'll see if they guess who did it! Let the fun begin! I have several more ideas for family and friends too.
It's so cold outside that I could hardly breathe. The wind slapped my face, stung my forehead and iced up my tear filled eyes. It was awful to go the distance to the car after class tonight.
I was able to follow and understand the teacher. Well- I didn't understand the words he used but I read the book and followed the things he was doing on the board and I had a clue at the end of the night so I'm feeling kind of good about that. This weekend I'm going to go over everything that I learned again and see how I do.
My young PA friend wanted to come out this weekend but I had to say no. I'm so busy right now. I really need to get a lock on this school work and I want to remain strict on my diet, which will not happen if she comes. She was okay with it but I feel bad. Still, I had to do the right thing for me. It's RARE for me to do that but I just have to this time.
I think that "we" don't put ourselves first enough and that may play a huge part in the stress of our lives and in the comfort eating I often find myself involved in. I know that I really need to change that about me. If you do to post it in the comments section. I'd love to banter with you about how to change that. I think it would help me immensely.
I guess its like dieting in a way. One baby step at a time until it takes. Then move forward at your own pace. I may have taken my first baby step today. I'll keep you informed. I stuck to the strictness of my diet even in the face of the vending machines at college as my stomach growled heartily. I'm kind of proud of me tonight.
On that note I will say good night, but not before reminding you that you look the best that you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you next blog! ;-)
It's so cold outside that I could hardly breathe. The wind slapped my face, stung my forehead and iced up my tear filled eyes. It was awful to go the distance to the car after class tonight.
I was able to follow and understand the teacher. Well- I didn't understand the words he used but I read the book and followed the things he was doing on the board and I had a clue at the end of the night so I'm feeling kind of good about that. This weekend I'm going to go over everything that I learned again and see how I do.
My young PA friend wanted to come out this weekend but I had to say no. I'm so busy right now. I really need to get a lock on this school work and I want to remain strict on my diet, which will not happen if she comes. She was okay with it but I feel bad. Still, I had to do the right thing for me. It's RARE for me to do that but I just have to this time.
I think that "we" don't put ourselves first enough and that may play a huge part in the stress of our lives and in the comfort eating I often find myself involved in. I know that I really need to change that about me. If you do to post it in the comments section. I'd love to banter with you about how to change that. I think it would help me immensely.
I guess its like dieting in a way. One baby step at a time until it takes. Then move forward at your own pace. I may have taken my first baby step today. I'll keep you informed. I stuck to the strictness of my diet even in the face of the vending machines at college as my stomach growled heartily. I'm kind of proud of me tonight.
On that note I will say good night, but not before reminding you that you look the best that you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you next blog! ;-)
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
January 27, 2010 Diet Blog
It was a hard day to stay positive but I managed it. My car wouldn't start this morning so I was forced to take a personal day. The guy from the dealership jumped it and it started right up. I had left the lights on. I cannot believe I did that.
I refused to let it get to me. Once the car was back in working order I decided to go to the college and get my book for statistics class. There were thousands of cars and not one parking spot. I gave up after 45 minutes of looking and headed on home. I had planned to get the book after work anyway so I just figured that I would stick to the original plan.
I stopped at the grocery store on the way home and found that I had misplaced the money. I have no idea what happened to it. I was forced to use my credit card, which I hate to do. The money turned up in the trunk of the car thankfully. It must've dropped out when I put my purse in there so that I could go into the college bookstore without putting it in one of those stupid lockers. I did that before I left home to save time.
Anyway, I had time in the afternoon so I went back to the college, got the book and did the homework. It took 3 hours and change. It is so hard. I'm scared for my 4.0. I think I may have to wave goodbye...but I hope not.
My husband came home but had to leave after only an hour to teach his class at Seton Hall. The rest of the night was lonely but I'm really okay. I still feel good. I had a nice light dinner and a perfect temperature shower and my kitties showed me too much love to describe so I'm thinking that life is pretty good. Am I crazy? ...It's a distinct possibility.
I thought of some really cute and playful things to do for my loved ones on Valentine's Day. I'll keep you posted on that status. My mind feels free of stress...weird right? Maybe its because I wrote a lot tonight to fill the time. I love writing.
My husband just arrived home so I am going to close for tonight. I stuck to the diet like glue even in the face of the days total adversity so I'm good to go as they say.
Remember: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you next blog. ;-)
I refused to let it get to me. Once the car was back in working order I decided to go to the college and get my book for statistics class. There were thousands of cars and not one parking spot. I gave up after 45 minutes of looking and headed on home. I had planned to get the book after work anyway so I just figured that I would stick to the original plan.
I stopped at the grocery store on the way home and found that I had misplaced the money. I have no idea what happened to it. I was forced to use my credit card, which I hate to do. The money turned up in the trunk of the car thankfully. It must've dropped out when I put my purse in there so that I could go into the college bookstore without putting it in one of those stupid lockers. I did that before I left home to save time.
Anyway, I had time in the afternoon so I went back to the college, got the book and did the homework. It took 3 hours and change. It is so hard. I'm scared for my 4.0. I think I may have to wave goodbye...but I hope not.
My husband came home but had to leave after only an hour to teach his class at Seton Hall. The rest of the night was lonely but I'm really okay. I still feel good. I had a nice light dinner and a perfect temperature shower and my kitties showed me too much love to describe so I'm thinking that life is pretty good. Am I crazy? ...It's a distinct possibility.
I thought of some really cute and playful things to do for my loved ones on Valentine's Day. I'll keep you posted on that status. My mind feels free of stress...weird right? Maybe its because I wrote a lot tonight to fill the time. I love writing.
My husband just arrived home so I am going to close for tonight. I stuck to the diet like glue even in the face of the days total adversity so I'm good to go as they say.
Remember: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you next blog. ;-)
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
January 26, 2010 Diet Blog
Once again, I stuck to the diet like glue. I'm very proud of myself for that. It is a serious accomplishment given the amount of parties and the like that are going on around me lately. I don't move even one milimeter...I just gracefully decline and am biding my time until Valentine's Day. That's the cheat Day. Actually it changed to the 13th because I am cooking dinner for my beautiful baby boy and his wife as a Valentine's Day gift.
I spoke to my searcher BFF today. She said that my blog inspired a very profound thought in her...after she told me what it was, she inspired it in me. I guess one good turn deserves another right? She said that she feels the need to pull away from the negative; like negativity in people around her. I listened as she spoke and fully grasped the concept of what she was saying. In a manner of speaking "misery loves company." They try to drag you into the myer. Once your in, it's real easy to get stuck. At least that was my interpretation of the over all concept of the conversation.
With me, the negativity latches on. I'm not one for confrontation so it usually eats me alive from the inside. With me, bad eating habits are my vice. I turn to food for comfort even though I know better. It then creates a vicious circle which pulls me into the eye of the tornado...and fifty pounds later I'm as miserable as they are... do you see what I mean? I'm also trying not to go that way.
Today began 15 minutes before work started with a nasty client coming in and making everyone around him feel as miserable as he was feeling. Normally that kind of an encounter sets the presedence for my entire day. I didn't allow it to though. It turns out the day wasn't too bad. There were moments- make no mistake that there's clearly a full moon on the horizon, but it was okay.
Tonight I went to the first class of the semester at college. It was Statistics. Math. NOT my forte. The teacher's accent is beyond thick...I understood every third word or so. The guy next to me was just lovely though. He shared his email from the teacher, which I did not get and his book which I have to purchase tomorrow at the school book store. He coached me through the parts that I couldn't understand and it all worked out. After class I told him how nice that I thought he was. Apparently we had another class together and I coached him through. He wouldn't have passed it if it hadn't been for me he said. Nice right> Kindness really does pay off in the end doesn't it?
So all in all I'm going to have to say that positive, affirmative action is the way to go. I'm feeling very good tonight. It's late and I'm heading off for slumber land. See you next blog. ;-)
I spoke to my searcher BFF today. She said that my blog inspired a very profound thought in her...after she told me what it was, she inspired it in me. I guess one good turn deserves another right? She said that she feels the need to pull away from the negative; like negativity in people around her. I listened as she spoke and fully grasped the concept of what she was saying. In a manner of speaking "misery loves company." They try to drag you into the myer. Once your in, it's real easy to get stuck. At least that was my interpretation of the over all concept of the conversation.
With me, the negativity latches on. I'm not one for confrontation so it usually eats me alive from the inside. With me, bad eating habits are my vice. I turn to food for comfort even though I know better. It then creates a vicious circle which pulls me into the eye of the tornado...and fifty pounds later I'm as miserable as they are... do you see what I mean? I'm also trying not to go that way.
Today began 15 minutes before work started with a nasty client coming in and making everyone around him feel as miserable as he was feeling. Normally that kind of an encounter sets the presedence for my entire day. I didn't allow it to though. It turns out the day wasn't too bad. There were moments- make no mistake that there's clearly a full moon on the horizon, but it was okay.
Tonight I went to the first class of the semester at college. It was Statistics. Math. NOT my forte. The teacher's accent is beyond thick...I understood every third word or so. The guy next to me was just lovely though. He shared his email from the teacher, which I did not get and his book which I have to purchase tomorrow at the school book store. He coached me through the parts that I couldn't understand and it all worked out. After class I told him how nice that I thought he was. Apparently we had another class together and I coached him through. He wouldn't have passed it if it hadn't been for me he said. Nice right> Kindness really does pay off in the end doesn't it?
So all in all I'm going to have to say that positive, affirmative action is the way to go. I'm feeling very good tonight. It's late and I'm heading off for slumber land. See you next blog. ;-)
January 25, 2010 Diet Blog
It was a long day at work but not a bad one. I stuck to the diet like glue and was very tired by the time I arrived home. My co-worker is doing great on her journey as well. The girl that thought she had the urinary infection like I had came back. She had a kidney stone. She really suffered- the poor thing.
All in all I have nothing profound to say with the exception that I'm remaining positive and forging ahead to the best of my ability. School starts tomorrow again so I'm very anxious about that. I'm not looking forward to it the way that I used to.
Please forgive the short note. I will try and do better tomorrow. If you have anything you'd like to talk about feel free to put it in the comments section. I'm just pushing through the rest of the night and heading for bed.
Remember: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you next blog! ;-)
All in all I have nothing profound to say with the exception that I'm remaining positive and forging ahead to the best of my ability. School starts tomorrow again so I'm very anxious about that. I'm not looking forward to it the way that I used to.
Please forgive the short note. I will try and do better tomorrow. If you have anything you'd like to talk about feel free to put it in the comments section. I'm just pushing through the rest of the night and heading for bed.
Remember: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you next blog! ;-)
Sunday, January 24, 2010
January 23-24 2010 Diet Blog
Whew! What a weekend! My Saturday began with a morning dedicated to karate. I worked hard. I am very rusty but I gave it everything that I had, so I feel like I honestly can say that I did well.
I went home to straighten the house and get ready for my friend's son's 14th birthday party. In order to do that I had to pick up an old friend whose car broke down in North Bergen and then come all the way back past my house and go to Ridgewood where the party was. I am happy to report that each task went down without a hitch and we went to the party making several great people very happy.
After that North Bergen buddy decided to stay the night at my house so that we could go to karaoke together. Blairstown Buddy joined us and we had a great night at karaoke, where I was complimented left and right about my outfit...my body...everything... and then a fun pajama party! I felt like a child again! It was so much fun. I'm happy and thrilled to report that I stuck to my diet even in the face of the children's party goodies and pizza. I am proud of me!
I took North Bergen home this morning and Blairstown took herself. Then the next event was to occur. My mother-in-laws birthday was today. My sister-in-law wanted us all to go out together as a family. Mom in law chose Houlihan's.
I only had 2 yogurts for breakfast and lunch and I was petrified that I would do the wrong thing at dinner.
While I was at mom in laws house waiting to go out my husband left to go to the ATM for some cash and my sister in law went to pick up the kids. I sat with mom in law and she opened my gifts. I gave her a roll of stamps, some fancy note paper, a beautiful rose candle...real roses...lovely, a little frame and two cards with a chocolate Dove red rose on each one. One from me and I made my husband sign the other. It was like pulling teeth but it made her so happy that I was glad that I did it. She actually choked up at the cards.
She is keeping a journal of things that she finds interesting which I thought was great and when she offered to read it to me I was both honored and thrilled. Sadly the thrill died when she got to the quotes that she likes page. One of the quotes was "Second place is just the first loser." It's a fine quote...a little negative though..., but then she added that she thought of me when she read it. I felt funny about it. It felt like a back handed way of saying something negative about me... like I'm too stupid to catch it or something...I didn't like it. I said nothing because shes 82 and I'd like with all of my heart to believe that she meant that she thought I was a perfectionist or something along those lines.
The dinner went well though. I had one half of a Southwest wrap. I didn't touch a french fry, even though they were on the plate after I asked for them to be left off. I drank diet coke. I had the sandwich half that was left wrapped for my husband to take for lunch tomorrow and I'm good to go! I admit to being very proud of myself this weekend. I'm REALLY trying. I hope that the number shows it on the 5th.
I will sign off here. Remember that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow will be that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! See you next Blog! ;-)
I went home to straighten the house and get ready for my friend's son's 14th birthday party. In order to do that I had to pick up an old friend whose car broke down in North Bergen and then come all the way back past my house and go to Ridgewood where the party was. I am happy to report that each task went down without a hitch and we went to the party making several great people very happy.
After that North Bergen buddy decided to stay the night at my house so that we could go to karaoke together. Blairstown Buddy joined us and we had a great night at karaoke, where I was complimented left and right about my outfit...my body...everything... and then a fun pajama party! I felt like a child again! It was so much fun. I'm happy and thrilled to report that I stuck to my diet even in the face of the children's party goodies and pizza. I am proud of me!
I took North Bergen home this morning and Blairstown took herself. Then the next event was to occur. My mother-in-laws birthday was today. My sister-in-law wanted us all to go out together as a family. Mom in law chose Houlihan's.
I only had 2 yogurts for breakfast and lunch and I was petrified that I would do the wrong thing at dinner.
While I was at mom in laws house waiting to go out my husband left to go to the ATM for some cash and my sister in law went to pick up the kids. I sat with mom in law and she opened my gifts. I gave her a roll of stamps, some fancy note paper, a beautiful rose candle...real roses...lovely, a little frame and two cards with a chocolate Dove red rose on each one. One from me and I made my husband sign the other. It was like pulling teeth but it made her so happy that I was glad that I did it. She actually choked up at the cards.
She is keeping a journal of things that she finds interesting which I thought was great and when she offered to read it to me I was both honored and thrilled. Sadly the thrill died when she got to the quotes that she likes page. One of the quotes was "Second place is just the first loser." It's a fine quote...a little negative though..., but then she added that she thought of me when she read it. I felt funny about it. It felt like a back handed way of saying something negative about me... like I'm too stupid to catch it or something...I didn't like it. I said nothing because shes 82 and I'd like with all of my heart to believe that she meant that she thought I was a perfectionist or something along those lines.
The dinner went well though. I had one half of a Southwest wrap. I didn't touch a french fry, even though they were on the plate after I asked for them to be left off. I drank diet coke. I had the sandwich half that was left wrapped for my husband to take for lunch tomorrow and I'm good to go! I admit to being very proud of myself this weekend. I'm REALLY trying. I hope that the number shows it on the 5th.
I will sign off here. Remember that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow will be that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! See you next Blog! ;-)
Friday, January 22, 2010
January 21-22, 2010 Diet Blog
I felt kind of bad when I got home on Thursday night so I didn't blog. I was having a go-round with my own mind. I have been doing that lately. Maybe its the medication...I'm not sure. I begin by daydreaming about how different life will be if I actually get the weight off. I see myself walking on the beach, at a pool or in a great big airport wearing comfortable clothes that I look sexy and sassy in on the way to the place where I will be doing a book signing.
The thoughts drift to why its not happening faster and what number the scale is showing and being so large even though I'm trying hard and have been for quite some time- or at least it feels that way. I feel discourages, sad and depressed. Why is it so hard? Stay the course- I tell myself.
My mind then veered again to the nice things that I've been trying to do for others anonymously. I tell the Lord I don't want the instant karma thing to be the reason- I just want to do nice things. I don't want anything unless he feels like helping me do those things. I don't want to be THAT person.
I admit openly that I actually love to tease people and that's whats "in it" for me. I can tease them and if I can help them at the same time- well then so be it. I talk to the Lord often. As it turns out, he listens.
I opened the front desk at work this morning in the usual manner but I forgot to flip over the angel calender. I was explaining all of this to my coworker when I noticed that it needed to be date changed. I flipped it over and the inspirational view of the angels was "Spread your wings and fly with confidence, earth angel." Wow. BOTH things were answered in one moment of time. All I had to do was to pay attention.
After that nice things happened all day. One coworker that I'm cordial with but hold at bay friendship wise offered to help me get a book signing at "Bookends" book store in Ridgewood. She is closely affiliated with the Chamber of Commerce in that town. After I reconnected my jaw I spoke to her at length about it. When she left to go about her day it stuck with me for a long time. Did THAT really happen? Nice things happened to me on a subtle level all day too. It was so wild.
My coworker is doing great on her diet as well and I'm feeling VERY happy about that. She is taking care of her daughters boyfriend right now. He got hurt in a motorcycle accident and has needed several surgeries to repair the damage to his leg. This one should see him able to walk again which is wonderful news for her. His family is far away. She stepped up to the plate as did her entire family. These are truly special people. Just being near her brings me closer to God I feel. Shes the genuine article... she doesn't get anything out of it other than love. I strive to be like that.
I stuck to the diet but my mind is still reeling with feelings of discouragement and low self worth. I just long to look in the mirror and feel good about what I see. One day....
Tomorrow is going to present a pretty big challenge. I have karate early in the morning. A birthday party in the afternoon and karaoke with Blairstown BFF and her friends. Her friends are gay. She felt the need to let me know. I assured her that I have many gay friends. I accept that they are gay if they accept that I am not. Its that simple. She liked my response she said.
So that's it for the last two days. I'm working hard on dieting and trying to pull myself out of this tailspin I've gotten myself stuck in before it spirals out of control. So far I've got the helm. I'll keep you posted.
Remember...and I will try to also: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive...A HUGE thing! See you next blog! ;-)
The thoughts drift to why its not happening faster and what number the scale is showing and being so large even though I'm trying hard and have been for quite some time- or at least it feels that way. I feel discourages, sad and depressed. Why is it so hard? Stay the course- I tell myself.
My mind then veered again to the nice things that I've been trying to do for others anonymously. I tell the Lord I don't want the instant karma thing to be the reason- I just want to do nice things. I don't want anything unless he feels like helping me do those things. I don't want to be THAT person.
I admit openly that I actually love to tease people and that's whats "in it" for me. I can tease them and if I can help them at the same time- well then so be it. I talk to the Lord often. As it turns out, he listens.
I opened the front desk at work this morning in the usual manner but I forgot to flip over the angel calender. I was explaining all of this to my coworker when I noticed that it needed to be date changed. I flipped it over and the inspirational view of the angels was "Spread your wings and fly with confidence, earth angel." Wow. BOTH things were answered in one moment of time. All I had to do was to pay attention.
After that nice things happened all day. One coworker that I'm cordial with but hold at bay friendship wise offered to help me get a book signing at "Bookends" book store in Ridgewood. She is closely affiliated with the Chamber of Commerce in that town. After I reconnected my jaw I spoke to her at length about it. When she left to go about her day it stuck with me for a long time. Did THAT really happen? Nice things happened to me on a subtle level all day too. It was so wild.
My coworker is doing great on her diet as well and I'm feeling VERY happy about that. She is taking care of her daughters boyfriend right now. He got hurt in a motorcycle accident and has needed several surgeries to repair the damage to his leg. This one should see him able to walk again which is wonderful news for her. His family is far away. She stepped up to the plate as did her entire family. These are truly special people. Just being near her brings me closer to God I feel. Shes the genuine article... she doesn't get anything out of it other than love. I strive to be like that.
I stuck to the diet but my mind is still reeling with feelings of discouragement and low self worth. I just long to look in the mirror and feel good about what I see. One day....
Tomorrow is going to present a pretty big challenge. I have karate early in the morning. A birthday party in the afternoon and karaoke with Blairstown BFF and her friends. Her friends are gay. She felt the need to let me know. I assured her that I have many gay friends. I accept that they are gay if they accept that I am not. Its that simple. She liked my response she said.
So that's it for the last two days. I'm working hard on dieting and trying to pull myself out of this tailspin I've gotten myself stuck in before it spirals out of control. So far I've got the helm. I'll keep you posted.
Remember...and I will try to also: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive...A HUGE thing! See you next blog! ;-)
Thursday, January 21, 2010
January 20, 2010 Diet Blog
I feel so much better today. Not 100% but okay. It was another busy day but not as overwhelming as yesterday. I daydreamed a lot about a bunch of things that I probably shouldn't have. I feel so discouraged about my weight loss progress. It takes so long and its so hard. I wish I could be like other people and just be naturally thin. I hope that I get it off and then keep it off and I pray that it happens fast. That's where my dreaming came in. More ...wishing I guess.
I stuck the the diet even though I feel depression creeping in. I usually eat during times like this but I just keep telling myself that Valentine's Day is the next cheat day. I will have a visit with my son and I'll eat something delicious and I'll feel wonderful and normal at least for that one day. I prayed hard for the angels, the Lord and any other kind of help that I could get from above today. I feel like I've been answered. "Patience" was a word that seemed to fill my head.
It was funny to talk to my coworker about my horoscopes that are on face book lately too. She noticed that a bunch of them said that something big is going to occur. Something that will change my life and will ultimately be one of the best things that ever happened to me. It's scary. I would like it to be fame finding me through my books. I hope that it is that.
The night is just a lonely, quiet one. My husband is teaching a diving class again. I am on my own so I'm heading for the hot shower and some rest. I bid you a lovely day or night depending upon when you are able to read this and I remind us all once again that we look as good as we can for today. Tomorrow we will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive...I know its hard...I struggle with it too. You are not alone. I'm right here with you. See you next blog! ;-)
I stuck the the diet even though I feel depression creeping in. I usually eat during times like this but I just keep telling myself that Valentine's Day is the next cheat day. I will have a visit with my son and I'll eat something delicious and I'll feel wonderful and normal at least for that one day. I prayed hard for the angels, the Lord and any other kind of help that I could get from above today. I feel like I've been answered. "Patience" was a word that seemed to fill my head.
It was funny to talk to my coworker about my horoscopes that are on face book lately too. She noticed that a bunch of them said that something big is going to occur. Something that will change my life and will ultimately be one of the best things that ever happened to me. It's scary. I would like it to be fame finding me through my books. I hope that it is that.
The night is just a lonely, quiet one. My husband is teaching a diving class again. I am on my own so I'm heading for the hot shower and some rest. I bid you a lovely day or night depending upon when you are able to read this and I remind us all once again that we look as good as we can for today. Tomorrow we will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive...I know its hard...I struggle with it too. You are not alone. I'm right here with you. See you next blog! ;-)
January 19, 2010 Diet Blog
It was a seriously busy day at work. There was hardly enough time to take a deep breath. I'm actually thankful though because it helped me not think about feeling so sick.
My coworker is thinking about going to see a hypnotist to assist her in losing weight. She asked me if I wanted to go with her. I thought about it and actually leaned toward going to see what it was all about. It turns out that I cannot go so the decision was made for me. Its on the first Tuesday of the month which makes it a school night at college for me. She is going to go and let me know how it goes though and of course I will tell you.
My husband had to go teach a diving class and my sister-in-law wanted me to come over for dinner. She had made homemade soup. I just felt so odd about it that I said I'd stop over after grocery shopping but dinner was not an option because I had already eaten with my husband before he left.
I went grocery shopping and then stopped over there as planned. The kids were so happy to see me. It was great. My niece made me a hippy headband and a ring, which I wore with pride until I got out to my car. It was cute. I held both my niece and my nephew on my lap in turn. They are getting so big.
I stuck to the diet as best I could. I began feeling better which I thank heaven for. Tomorrow is another day. See you next blog. ;-)
My coworker is thinking about going to see a hypnotist to assist her in losing weight. She asked me if I wanted to go with her. I thought about it and actually leaned toward going to see what it was all about. It turns out that I cannot go so the decision was made for me. Its on the first Tuesday of the month which makes it a school night at college for me. She is going to go and let me know how it goes though and of course I will tell you.
My husband had to go teach a diving class and my sister-in-law wanted me to come over for dinner. She had made homemade soup. I just felt so odd about it that I said I'd stop over after grocery shopping but dinner was not an option because I had already eaten with my husband before he left.
I went grocery shopping and then stopped over there as planned. The kids were so happy to see me. It was great. My niece made me a hippy headband and a ring, which I wore with pride until I got out to my car. It was cute. I held both my niece and my nephew on my lap in turn. They are getting so big.
I stuck to the diet as best I could. I began feeling better which I thank heaven for. Tomorrow is another day. See you next blog. ;-)
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