Didn't sleep well. Half the staff or more were out at work. Came home exhausted- headache, sore throat...Peanut butter left out, open bread, milk carton empty...hubby definitely home. Still, it was a good day. The work was intermittent- both copiers broke so my job was totally hindered. Still, I let it all go and stayed positive.
The Lord answered some prayers for me today. I'm a finalist in a writing competition that I entered...well that is the Horse Rescue Center called "Touched By An Angel" is. My actual name is not on the essay but its mine. I wrote it alone. I win nothing but the horses get FREE Hay and the Ranch owners get money. I'm a finalist- there are six of us- from all of the entries from all of the states in America. Needless to say, I'm VERY happy about that. I hope it wins for the Horses at Touched By An Angel. I wrote it with a serious handicap. I actually know very little about horses at all, never mind Horse Rescue. I decided to go with that. I just told the truth and stated my purpose. I'm actually kind of impressed that we got this far, but since we did- I'd kind of like to take the prize for them, you know? So I feel good about helping the animals today.
I'm donating a few books to a women's shelter for Domestic Violence through an old friend. She and I found each other on facebook. I babysat her two boys when I was like twelve I think lol. Anyway, we got to writing back and forth and it turns out she works for a place in Florida Ocala area called CASA. The director just okay'd it and offered the PO Box address. I'm going to mail out five books. She asked me to sign them too. Of course I will. I hope that the story lets the women escape there own lives for awhile...in a way that's exactly how I escaped the Domestic Violence in my home as a child. It was brutal....
So, I'm moving forward and keeping the faith, keeping positive and holding strong. I know HE is listening. There are signs ALL over the place...ask and you shall receive...I'm asking....
No breakfast but coffee...I'm not in the mood. I'm not sure why. Lunch was left over shrimp and cucumber slices. Snack was an apple. Dinner was a green salad with tenderloin beef chunks and sauteed onions. No dressing. It was a HUGE one. I was hungry. A tangerine finished the night at 8pm. I'm feeling good! I want you to feel good too. Let go and let God take over.... it works. See you next blog.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
January 4, 2012 Diet Blog
Whew! Long day. Busy but not overwhelming. The front desk at work had both girls so that relieved me of the pressure but the staff is still light. I had some time to think about things. I stayed above the negativity but with everyone absent and a lot that were in work but feeling bad, it was a difficult task. Negativity grabs you and grips tight, pulling you into it's realm. I started down the pathway accidentally a few times but pulled myself out of it thankfully.
On my way home I talked to a friend that I've helped repeatedly over the last two years- drastically last year...I was upset to learn from him that I've not "done anything" for him for over a year. Meanwhile he hit e up for money to the point of being abusive. Hundreds of dollars...I took a deep breath and then gently corrected him. He instantly "remembered." I wondered if he was going to hit me up for more money and then said something stupid by mistake, there by negating any chance he had of getting any.
The negativity crept back toward me, but I held it at bay. I think that I may just be from another planet or something. I work so hard at being a good person; doing the right thing and making sure that my motives are pure and altruistic.... On my planet everyone is that way. Here on earth there are some like that, but a lot of them take advantage of niceness. Sigh... I'm not changing for them, but moving away from that is the way I'm heading. I think I'm my own worst enemy. I sacrifice myself for others sometimes...and sometimes it's worth it, but sometimes it's just plain not worth it, you know?
I didn't sleep well. I've been dreaming the craziest dreams lately. Not bad or violent, just crazy. Last night I brought the Queen a new mop. The mop was SO important.... lol. I think that's why the negativity thought it could "get" me today. I'm a bit weary.
Again, I had nothing for breakfast but coffee. Lunch was 4 oz. chicken breast and cucumber slices. Snack was a tangerine. Dinner was 4 oz shrimp and one cup green beans. At 8pm I had an apple. My eating habits literally took a back seat. I like that.
I mailed out the funny poem I wrote for the sick friend I mentioned. I laughed to myself as to what his reaction may be. He doesn't know that side of me, lol. The birthday gift arrived at it's destination for another friend. There will be a cake and candles. I recruited two of his friends that I've never met to help me with that. He thinks we forgot. I NEVER forget. At Christmas I recorded my voice into one of those books that kids get from grand parents where the grand parent can read the story. The story, or rather the original one was "The night before Christmas." I say original because I re-wrote the story as a comedy with specific details about the recipient and myself woven into it. I have the reindeer farting, and all kinds of silly things. Anyway- it arrived at it's destination as well and went over VERY well. I think I might do one (a different original) for Ellen Degeneres. She LOVES comedy. I think she would appreciate it! "Twas the month after Christmas, when out on the lot...Ellen drove into her parking spot LOL...(to be continued.)
Anyway- the negativity lost. Better things prevailed- like a smile. That's the real secret to life, isn't it? A happy life, I mean. To smile. To let go of the negativity even as it comes through. To give it to God and then say thank you to him for taking it. Life really is good if we let it be good. See you next blog.
On my way home I talked to a friend that I've helped repeatedly over the last two years- drastically last year...I was upset to learn from him that I've not "done anything" for him for over a year. Meanwhile he hit e up for money to the point of being abusive. Hundreds of dollars...I took a deep breath and then gently corrected him. He instantly "remembered." I wondered if he was going to hit me up for more money and then said something stupid by mistake, there by negating any chance he had of getting any.
The negativity crept back toward me, but I held it at bay. I think that I may just be from another planet or something. I work so hard at being a good person; doing the right thing and making sure that my motives are pure and altruistic.... On my planet everyone is that way. Here on earth there are some like that, but a lot of them take advantage of niceness. Sigh... I'm not changing for them, but moving away from that is the way I'm heading. I think I'm my own worst enemy. I sacrifice myself for others sometimes...and sometimes it's worth it, but sometimes it's just plain not worth it, you know?
I didn't sleep well. I've been dreaming the craziest dreams lately. Not bad or violent, just crazy. Last night I brought the Queen a new mop. The mop was SO important.... lol. I think that's why the negativity thought it could "get" me today. I'm a bit weary.
Again, I had nothing for breakfast but coffee. Lunch was 4 oz. chicken breast and cucumber slices. Snack was a tangerine. Dinner was 4 oz shrimp and one cup green beans. At 8pm I had an apple. My eating habits literally took a back seat. I like that.
I mailed out the funny poem I wrote for the sick friend I mentioned. I laughed to myself as to what his reaction may be. He doesn't know that side of me, lol. The birthday gift arrived at it's destination for another friend. There will be a cake and candles. I recruited two of his friends that I've never met to help me with that. He thinks we forgot. I NEVER forget. At Christmas I recorded my voice into one of those books that kids get from grand parents where the grand parent can read the story. The story, or rather the original one was "The night before Christmas." I say original because I re-wrote the story as a comedy with specific details about the recipient and myself woven into it. I have the reindeer farting, and all kinds of silly things. Anyway- it arrived at it's destination as well and went over VERY well. I think I might do one (a different original) for Ellen Degeneres. She LOVES comedy. I think she would appreciate it! "Twas the month after Christmas, when out on the lot...Ellen drove into her parking spot LOL...(to be continued.)
Anyway- the negativity lost. Better things prevailed- like a smile. That's the real secret to life, isn't it? A happy life, I mean. To smile. To let go of the negativity even as it comes through. To give it to God and then say thank you to him for taking it. Life really is good if we let it be good. See you next blog.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
January 3, 2012 Diet Blog
It was a crazy day at work. Playing catch up after the Holidays is always tough, but half the staff was out ill too. The supervisor went home sick. The clients poured in like a "people waterfall." I bounced back and forth from my department which is swamped because there were just the two of us, and the front desk, which was also down a person. Not one department was complete except maybe the record room but they are one short anyway since one got fired.
I got an interesting compliment today. The second lawyer in the court division of our office told me that I seemed so happy.he added that I was always happy but today in particular. Then she said that I was actually glowing. It's true. I feel it. I let go of something... I gave it to HIM. I no longer have to worry about it. Funny huh?
I do find that Laughter is the best medicine- no pun intended. Today I wrote a funny poem- like a 'gotcha' "there was a man from Nantuket" kind of thing but clean obviously. An old friend from High School that resides in PA is pretty sick. He's had two surgeries and may need a possible third. He's stuck home in bed- and not being the kind that's lazy, he got up and worked out on his heavy bag like an idiot. Needless to say- the bag won.... anyway, I'd sent him a Get Well card and he was very happy to have gotten it. I couldn't help myself- the poem just came to me and so I wrote it and sent it off as a "Connie Original" get well card LOL. He'll laugh. Actually I wrote two. I sent him the one that would make me seem the least crazy. ;-) I love knowing that it'll brighten his day when it gets there. He'll think I'm looney...but hey! Isn't that just a given?!
I ran into my searcher BFF from the vault. She and I talked about just letting things happen and not to sweat it so much because the only thing that does is make things worse and let's face it...whatever is happening doesn't get better or go away faster or even at all if you worry about it. Seriously, it's like the universe is "on the same page" as me. I feel good realizing that. I've realized it before, make no mistake. I just feel lighter this time. Like something in me "moved" or something. I feel positive.
Work went well. I have to admit that I had no breakfast. In truth, I just wasn't hungry until about noon. Because of the staff issues my lunch hour was at one. So when it came I was hungry. In the middle of my lunch, my friend covering the front desk got overwhelmed and so I jumped into help her. She protested momentarily but really she was drowning so she knew I had to be there. She profusely thanked me after the up surge of phone calls tapered off enough for her to handle. I ate the rest of my lunch.
I had 4 oz. chicken breast with cucumbers and tangerine slices at lunch. Pretty much a whole cucumber sliced just so you know. Dinner was a lovely green salad with the sauteed onions and 4oz tenderloin again. An apple finished the job at 8pm as a late snack and I was completely satisfied.
I will mention that I had a little headache for the first few hours of the day- that's normal on the third day of a diet for me. My body is detoxing I think because of my bathroom experiences. Without getting gross, it's changing...and its "always darkest before the dawn." You may experience that too if your food intake was as haphazard as mine was over the entire holiday season.
With this good feeling surging through me and white light surrounding me I move forward from here...one day at a time...one step at a time. Come on! Let's DO this thing... See you next blog.
I got an interesting compliment today. The second lawyer in the court division of our office told me that I seemed so happy.he added that I was always happy but today in particular. Then she said that I was actually glowing. It's true. I feel it. I let go of something... I gave it to HIM. I no longer have to worry about it. Funny huh?
I do find that Laughter is the best medicine- no pun intended. Today I wrote a funny poem- like a 'gotcha' "there was a man from Nantuket" kind of thing but clean obviously. An old friend from High School that resides in PA is pretty sick. He's had two surgeries and may need a possible third. He's stuck home in bed- and not being the kind that's lazy, he got up and worked out on his heavy bag like an idiot. Needless to say- the bag won.... anyway, I'd sent him a Get Well card and he was very happy to have gotten it. I couldn't help myself- the poem just came to me and so I wrote it and sent it off as a "Connie Original" get well card LOL. He'll laugh. Actually I wrote two. I sent him the one that would make me seem the least crazy. ;-) I love knowing that it'll brighten his day when it gets there. He'll think I'm looney...but hey! Isn't that just a given?!
I ran into my searcher BFF from the vault. She and I talked about just letting things happen and not to sweat it so much because the only thing that does is make things worse and let's face it...whatever is happening doesn't get better or go away faster or even at all if you worry about it. Seriously, it's like the universe is "on the same page" as me. I feel good realizing that. I've realized it before, make no mistake. I just feel lighter this time. Like something in me "moved" or something. I feel positive.
Work went well. I have to admit that I had no breakfast. In truth, I just wasn't hungry until about noon. Because of the staff issues my lunch hour was at one. So when it came I was hungry. In the middle of my lunch, my friend covering the front desk got overwhelmed and so I jumped into help her. She protested momentarily but really she was drowning so she knew I had to be there. She profusely thanked me after the up surge of phone calls tapered off enough for her to handle. I ate the rest of my lunch.
I had 4 oz. chicken breast with cucumbers and tangerine slices at lunch. Pretty much a whole cucumber sliced just so you know. Dinner was a lovely green salad with the sauteed onions and 4oz tenderloin again. An apple finished the job at 8pm as a late snack and I was completely satisfied.
I will mention that I had a little headache for the first few hours of the day- that's normal on the third day of a diet for me. My body is detoxing I think because of my bathroom experiences. Without getting gross, it's changing...and its "always darkest before the dawn." You may experience that too if your food intake was as haphazard as mine was over the entire holiday season.
With this good feeling surging through me and white light surrounding me I move forward from here...one day at a time...one step at a time. Come on! Let's DO this thing... See you next blog.
January 2, 2012 Diet Blog
So, the second day went off without a hitch. I felt lighter in spirit and in mind than I have for a long time. It felt easy. I talked with God and the Angels a lot. I walked with them actually. For me the weight is not about food. The food is the self- medication I take and the fat hides the REAL issues. There are many, mostly having to do with my self esteem; left over from childhood I guess. My dreams and my hopes along the author path lately too. I want it "all." Silly of me to think I have control of that, isn't it? It's in HIS time, not mine. I know that. Still, it doesn't stop the yearning in me to be someone (I want to say special but the truth is someone...) else. I want to be proud of me; believe in me and KNOW that I deserve the things I dream of. My intentions really are good, no matter what my reasons are. I think HE knows that. The problem of weight in my case, stems to the core of me; my issues with myself. I'm not going to fight that anymore- I'm going to give learning about these issues, defining them and then finding the ability to overcome them while using a different method to cope with them. It's a tall order. I'm strong. I will accomplish this goal. I'm still in the learning process.
I'm going to start by not beating myself up about my looks. I'm not at my best and that's okay because I'm NOT throwing in the towel either. I'm a loved and gifted person and I have God on my side. I have Angels in my corner. I have divine guidance. I need to remind myself of that. HE hears me in desperation. HE also hears my thanks. HE knows my dreams. HE knows my heart. HE will guide me to where I need to be as I need to be there. Prayer. The answer is in prayer. Only through prayer can I contact HIM. Only through prayer can I find the strength; the belief; the reality of my dreams and the correct reasons for my pursuit of all of the above.
So, needless to say, I'm feeling better about things in the last two days. I needed to renew my spirit I think. I was so "dog-tired." I needed to rest my mind and my body. I think I did that.
I got on the scale yesterday, I forgot to mention. I still dislike the scale and so for that reason I will weigh in once a month. I'm going back to using my feelings..."the Force" as Luke Skywalker would say...my Higher Power.
I had a tangerine and coffee for breakfast. Lunch was a beautiful green salad, 4 oz of tenderloin and sauteed onions mixed together. No dressing. The onions sufficed nicely. For dinner I had a skinless turkey leg and cucumbers. For 3 am snack I had an apple. For evening snack I had another tangerine.
I'm going into this with a good outlook. I feel the presence of something/someone GREATER than me. I'm giving HIM the helm. Join me my friends; take care of YOU. Happy New Year.
I'm going to start by not beating myself up about my looks. I'm not at my best and that's okay because I'm NOT throwing in the towel either. I'm a loved and gifted person and I have God on my side. I have Angels in my corner. I have divine guidance. I need to remind myself of that. HE hears me in desperation. HE also hears my thanks. HE knows my dreams. HE knows my heart. HE will guide me to where I need to be as I need to be there. Prayer. The answer is in prayer. Only through prayer can I contact HIM. Only through prayer can I find the strength; the belief; the reality of my dreams and the correct reasons for my pursuit of all of the above.
So, needless to say, I'm feeling better about things in the last two days. I needed to renew my spirit I think. I was so "dog-tired." I needed to rest my mind and my body. I think I did that.
I got on the scale yesterday, I forgot to mention. I still dislike the scale and so for that reason I will weigh in once a month. I'm going back to using my feelings..."the Force" as Luke Skywalker would say...my Higher Power.
I had a tangerine and coffee for breakfast. Lunch was a beautiful green salad, 4 oz of tenderloin and sauteed onions mixed together. No dressing. The onions sufficed nicely. For dinner I had a skinless turkey leg and cucumbers. For 3 am snack I had an apple. For evening snack I had another tangerine.
I'm going into this with a good outlook. I feel the presence of something/someone GREATER than me. I'm giving HIM the helm. Join me my friends; take care of YOU. Happy New Year.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
January 1, 2012 Diet Blog
Happy New Year. I gave up. I threw in the towel; drew the white flag and dropped to my knees. Dropped to my knees literally. I talked to God; begged really. Abundance and prosperity, fame and fortune, health and beauty were the wishes I put forth. I want those things. I do not mind working for them. I do not mind putting in the time; paying my dues; whatever it takes..but I have reached the literal bottom of my barrel and I just need some kind of a sign. How do I obtain these things? Am I not attaining them because I'm not in it for the right reasons? I want to be. I hope I am. Believe me, I question ME all of the time. I asked sincerely. I really do want those things. HE knows whats in my heart REALLY right?
Well, of all the things to happen...I watched television today with my husband, and of all things he chose to watch Star Wars. I'm not really a Sci-Fi fan but I watched anyway in between cleaning, grocery shopping and things that I needed to do. Yoda- the Master Jedi was training Luke Skywalker how to be a Jedi and Luke pretty much gave up. "I can't do it, I just can't do it, you expect the impossible" he told Yoda. Clearly he had the ability- he just didn't have the stamina it seemed.
With that, Yoda lifted a plane from a swamp with his mind. Luke exclaimed "I don't believe it!" Yoda shook his head and admonished, "That is exactly why you fail." I heard that. It stayed with me. I think it was my sign. If I don't believe I can attain these goals, how will I ever attain them? Funny, the Lord works in mysterious ways. Yoda....
So, I picked myself up by the bootstraps- went grocery shopping and purchased all of the right thins for my health, threw out all of the junk foods and started over. I ate really well today. I have a little extra spring in my step. Could it all really be about believing in myself? Why don't I? It's the truth you know... I try, but I don't really. I should given y track record. It's deep seeded-this self esteem issue. "Do or Do not; thee is no try." Yoda told Luke. Yes. Believe or not- there's nothing in between. Get to it girl!
I believe I will have these things because I deserve to have them, because I will absolutely do the right thing with them no matter what the reasons are or are not. Isn't the point that I'm doing them? The why can sort itself out as I go. My why isn't really the one that matters anyway, right. HIS why is the one that counts. Clearly HIS plan for me involves these things; my journey or quest revolves around them. I need to learn while I do- not before or after it, I guess. I feel like HE answered me... maybe it's time now... for me to join the crowd and believe in myself as much as they seem to.
And so, I enter into this new year with renewed faith in my Lord, my goals and myself.... That feels good. It's been awhile since I've felt that. So- Happy New Year to you, and to me. It's time... Let's do this thing...THESE things ONCE AND FOR ALL.... See you next blog.
Well, of all the things to happen...I watched television today with my husband, and of all things he chose to watch Star Wars. I'm not really a Sci-Fi fan but I watched anyway in between cleaning, grocery shopping and things that I needed to do. Yoda- the Master Jedi was training Luke Skywalker how to be a Jedi and Luke pretty much gave up. "I can't do it, I just can't do it, you expect the impossible" he told Yoda. Clearly he had the ability- he just didn't have the stamina it seemed.
With that, Yoda lifted a plane from a swamp with his mind. Luke exclaimed "I don't believe it!" Yoda shook his head and admonished, "That is exactly why you fail." I heard that. It stayed with me. I think it was my sign. If I don't believe I can attain these goals, how will I ever attain them? Funny, the Lord works in mysterious ways. Yoda....
So, I picked myself up by the bootstraps- went grocery shopping and purchased all of the right thins for my health, threw out all of the junk foods and started over. I ate really well today. I have a little extra spring in my step. Could it all really be about believing in myself? Why don't I? It's the truth you know... I try, but I don't really. I should given y track record. It's deep seeded-this self esteem issue. "Do or Do not; thee is no try." Yoda told Luke. Yes. Believe or not- there's nothing in between. Get to it girl!
I believe I will have these things because I deserve to have them, because I will absolutely do the right thing with them no matter what the reasons are or are not. Isn't the point that I'm doing them? The why can sort itself out as I go. My why isn't really the one that matters anyway, right. HIS why is the one that counts. Clearly HIS plan for me involves these things; my journey or quest revolves around them. I need to learn while I do- not before or after it, I guess. I feel like HE answered me... maybe it's time now... for me to join the crowd and believe in myself as much as they seem to.
And so, I enter into this new year with renewed faith in my Lord, my goals and myself.... That feels good. It's been awhile since I've felt that. So- Happy New Year to you, and to me. It's time... Let's do this thing...THESE things ONCE AND FOR ALL.... See you next blog.
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