It's been an elevator ride at work this week. It was either really bad and really busy or really nice and really busy. Either way we were really busy. I feel overwhelmed- as do all of my co-workers. The stress level is high and so things are tense. I won't go into more vivid details than that other than to say that there is one co-worker who was so stressed that she tends to 'bully' and push her way through whatever situation presents itself...and this time it was my turn to be on the receiving end of her BS. It's happened before but this time she crossed a line. I just don't feel the same about her. AND THAT saddens me...
On the other end of the spectrum, the book signings are starting to come to fruition. Nothing solid yet but I'm definitely excited these days about that! As one of my other co-workers said 'your life is either black or white- there's NO gray matter....' I laughed because that statement is so true. I did a reading of an excerpt last weekend. It went great!
Sometimes I feel like a weakling up against huge hairy monsters with the strength of superman and sub human powers though, if that makes any sense. I feel lost sometimes. I try to be as good of a person as I can possibly be but I still seem to step off the path...or fall off is more like it- even get pushed off... it's so crazy.
On the 'I can't believe it' portion of this weeks calender one of the Santa's Elf's recipients actually found me! I was amazed at the fortitude it took for him to do that. Plus we really don't know each other. We ended up talking on the phone for hours and hours. He's a lovely, spiritual, gifted person and very easy to talk to. I ended up revealing the secrets behind 'me' as we spoke and I think that he did the same. He is very sick right now. Without going into detail and divulging things that are just between us- my heart and prayers go out to him even though he's just dealing with whatever the Lord's plan might be. He had such a rough life. I'm so glad to count him among the people I label as BFF now. Male's are not usually honored with that title in my world...the one that I did honor with it turned out to be the biggest liar and phony baloney on the planet- not to mention the other bad things... so Male's scare me...still... there's something different about this one...I feel warmth and white light....He knows things that are happening in my life that I haven't told my family and friends, or even wrote to you or spoke of OUT LOUD! Can you believe that?! That is weird for me too.
He knew me by the wrong name as a child too so finding me was strange, especially because the name I signed on the note containing the gifts I sent was 'Santa's Elf.' I'm amazed that he caught me lol. I really didn't think he- or anyone else for that matter- could do that. In my defense this particular person has a 142 IQ though. I didn't stand a chance...and believe it or not I think that explains about his life to a degree too. Genius' have issues. He had them and they weren't cared for or even noticed by the adult authority figures in his life...it's just so sad...still, he's so positive and sweet and warm... that's amazing too. I was called a 'gift from God' by a woman yesterday...but he really is one I think.
The diet? Oh yeah- is THAT why were on here lol? It's going beautifully. In fact I'm leaving for karate in just a few minutes and I'll begin my day. I hope that you are all doing as well. If not- begin today! Start now! You saw me start and stop a million times until it 'took.' Don't give up. You can do it.
In the meantime remember: You look as good as you can for today (which is pretty beautiful to me) tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! And something my Spiritual Male BFF told me: See yourself through HIS eyes...to HIM we are all his children...and truly beautiful...I forgot that for awhile! See you next blog! ;-)
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
March 5 2010 Diet Blog
The weigh in as promised. 29 pounds down. Not a big loss but remember I had a huge cheat day and the month was short...at least that's what I'm telling myself as the disappointment filters into my brain. I feel, see and have been hearing that the difference in me is showing big time. I'm wearing smaller clothes and was actually forced to put some of the original ones away because they are so big...so why the small number? I ask myself that. The number is why I choose NOT to weigh in every day or even every week. It's depressing. I like "feeling." It's just better for me.
The next "cheat day is on or around Easter, which is on or around my son's and his wife's birthdays. They will not be here for Easter nor will they be around for their birthdays because they are going away, so I'll work it in around the times that they are available. I'm doing okay with the super strict stretch of time to the cheat day. It's working for me so far so I'm going to continue it.
The funniest thing happened at work the other day. One of my coworkers- the pregnant one came out to the front. She actually had me stand up so that she could examine me ;-). It was weird because I really do have a shy streak and I would've rather hid under the desk but I complied instead. She and the coworker that works the front desk lavished me with praise. That felt nice. I wish that I could see what they see. I feel it sometimes- but REALLY I want to see, you know what I mean? Do you think that it's just the mentality of a "fat" person to think "forever fat thoughts" if you get what I mean? (sigh)
My friend from the searcher vault said something that stuck with me too. She said that she has decided to just "be happy." And she is. Her times have been rough, but she wears that smile and she's got a spring in her step...it's a beautiful thing. I like that philosophy!
Tonight I'm reading the excerpt of my book at an old friend's house on Staten Island. I'm a little nervous, but I'm thrilled to do it. I'm also going to bring a nice bottle of wine I think. I haven't seen her in a very long time. I hope that it goes well.
I'm going to sign off here because I need to get ready for work. As I said I will blog whenever I'm able for now. Everyday is hard because I'm overwhelmed right now with "book stuff." Please post or email or Face book if you need me. I'm still with you....
AND remember, you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! See you next blog! ;-)
The next "cheat day is on or around Easter, which is on or around my son's and his wife's birthdays. They will not be here for Easter nor will they be around for their birthdays because they are going away, so I'll work it in around the times that they are available. I'm doing okay with the super strict stretch of time to the cheat day. It's working for me so far so I'm going to continue it.
The funniest thing happened at work the other day. One of my coworkers- the pregnant one came out to the front. She actually had me stand up so that she could examine me ;-). It was weird because I really do have a shy streak and I would've rather hid under the desk but I complied instead. She and the coworker that works the front desk lavished me with praise. That felt nice. I wish that I could see what they see. I feel it sometimes- but REALLY I want to see, you know what I mean? Do you think that it's just the mentality of a "fat" person to think "forever fat thoughts" if you get what I mean? (sigh)
My friend from the searcher vault said something that stuck with me too. She said that she has decided to just "be happy." And she is. Her times have been rough, but she wears that smile and she's got a spring in her step...it's a beautiful thing. I like that philosophy!
Tonight I'm reading the excerpt of my book at an old friend's house on Staten Island. I'm a little nervous, but I'm thrilled to do it. I'm also going to bring a nice bottle of wine I think. I haven't seen her in a very long time. I hope that it goes well.
I'm going to sign off here because I need to get ready for work. As I said I will blog whenever I'm able for now. Everyday is hard because I'm overwhelmed right now with "book stuff." Please post or email or Face book if you need me. I'm still with you....
AND remember, you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! See you next blog! ;-)
Monday, March 1, 2010
March 1 2010 Diet Blog
The intensity continues at work. The second in command actually got angry at me because two other people were talking, I had a bad connection with the client on the phone and did not tell the two co-workers to stop talking. Uh...hello...I had a bad connection with the client...IE I was working. The bad connection had nothing to do with the conversation between the coworkers...GRRRR
The rest of the day went better but that made for a very stress filled morning. My next cheat day is on or around Easter depending upon my son. He and his wife are going away for their birthdays which are April 5th and 9th. We will get together but I don't know when so we'll see how it goes.
The strict diet has been working for me. I weigh in on the 5th same as always, and as usual I will keep you posted on the results. I feel better. Let's hope that the numbers match.
The book is really coming to fruition now! It's so exciting. They are taking pre-orders and 5 library signings are pending as well as the TSK signings...Helen has stepped into the position of my manager and I really like that. We are cruising in August and we have offered me up to sign books on Board at the book store. I REALLY hope that takes. I've got letters out to everyone right now and I'm praying with all of my might that at LONG LAST I get to see this dream come to pass. I will keep you as up to date as possible.
In the mean time remember: You look as good as you can for today- Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your interpretation of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. Remember- I'm STILL out here with you! Keep ME informed! Take care. See you next blog!
The rest of the day went better but that made for a very stress filled morning. My next cheat day is on or around Easter depending upon my son. He and his wife are going away for their birthdays which are April 5th and 9th. We will get together but I don't know when so we'll see how it goes.
The strict diet has been working for me. I weigh in on the 5th same as always, and as usual I will keep you posted on the results. I feel better. Let's hope that the numbers match.
The book is really coming to fruition now! It's so exciting. They are taking pre-orders and 5 library signings are pending as well as the TSK signings...Helen has stepped into the position of my manager and I really like that. We are cruising in August and we have offered me up to sign books on Board at the book store. I REALLY hope that takes. I've got letters out to everyone right now and I'm praying with all of my might that at LONG LAST I get to see this dream come to pass. I will keep you as up to date as possible.
In the mean time remember: You look as good as you can for today- Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your interpretation of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. Remember- I'm STILL out here with you! Keep ME informed! Take care. See you next blog!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
