I'm happy to report that nothing weird or out of the ordinary occurred today. I was beginning to wonder if the world was on a different axis or something like that. The craziest things went on around me this week. As it turns out, further investigation has led me to the knowledge that the harvest moon is on Oct. 4th, which is this coming Sunday. A regular full moon usually turns things topsy-turvy...the Harvest Moon is the autumnal equinox. It's supposedly full and hazed over in a pale reddish-orange color. It is Halloween Month after all. Trickery, wizardry and pranksters....I can't complain. I'm usually at the helm.
Anyway to continue, my day was busy but quick and I did great on my diet. I had a cup of watermelon chunks for breakfast, 6 rice cakes for 10am snack, Smart Ones for lunch w a cup of grapes, carrot sticks for the 3pm snack and wheat ziti noodles in low fat sauce for dinner.
I went to body conditioning class. I did 19 minutes on the treadmill, and then 21 more after the class was taught. I wanted to make the 40 minutes that I had done on Monday. I used about 200 calories according to the combined numbers on the machine. I'm kind of proud of me tonight. Truthfully, I didn't even want to go.
I wanted to sulk. My husband had just told me that he would be away from Thursday to Sunday as we ate dinner. It's fine. Of course I understand but I'm so very lonely all of the time. Between diving, work and now cub scout camping with our nephew he is gone a lot. My brother in law passed away a year ago. It was tragic and my husband has kind of stepped into his shoes as the male adult authority figure in the lives of his little boy and girl. It's not something one can find fault with. It's so good for the kids. They absolutely light up when they see him. It's good for him too. We wrestle with empty nest syndrome since our only son married last May. And I just miss him is all. It's the right thing though. I know that. I'm just lonely. Selfish- I know. I don't forbid it or complain too much- at least I try not to, but I feel like I want to just cry sometimes. I gave up my dream of a 50th birthday party for it, my dream of a 25th wedding anniversary party, so many things....I won't ever put myself before a child, but I am human and sometimes the emotions get the better of me.
Once I got to the body conditioning class and got involved I was okay though. The workout did me good and I came home tired. I know that I need to substitute some other type of comfort for when my emotions take a negative tumble other than chocolate or snacking of some sort. It was good that I worked out instead of sulked. I also lined up some of my "sista- girls" to hang out with me this weekend. I'm invited to my Wanaque BFF's tomorrow for dinner. So I'm beating the emotional binge with another method of comfort. I'm calling in the reinforcements!
On that note I will sign off and head for the showers. Let's remember: we look as good as we can for today. Tomorrow we will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Think positive. Let me know how you are doing. See you tomorrow. :-)
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
September 29,2009 Diet Blog
So the saga of the blundering blogger continues.... It all began when I purchased a brand new pair of those black tights to wear under my black and white skirt that falls just below my knee. I chose a red blouse and a black jacket with black shoes to complete what I thought was a simple, but elegant ensemble for my work day.
I pulled the tights out of the package and put them on gingerly because I have my new found manicure taking the world by storm to consider; the nails a magnificent burnt reddish-orange color... anyway, I successfully get the darn tights up and over my butt, which as you ladies as well as some of you men may know can be a monumental feat with the control top feature. As I pulled them up, the top part seemed to make a little cracking sound, which I had never experienced before and to tell you the truth- I ignored. (Is that muffled laughter I hear out there?)
I run out the door, get into my car and drive to work. I do my morning visualization, seeing myself as a world renowned author with friends and family gathered around proudly while I sign autographs and visit the realm of stardom and the bliss of fame and fortune in my car. In this particular dreamlike venue an old friend that I really adored and parted ways with a while back shows up with the balloon and gives it to me. It was great. I get out of my car and head into work feeling like I could conquer the world. That lasted a total of thirty seconds.
My brand new tights literally start traveling south at the speed of light. The elastic in the waistband was non-existent. Defective apparently. Oh great. I am forced to switch all of my items into one arm and hold the tights up with the other hand as I make my way the 200 yards towards the courthouse employee entrance. The tights were determined in their fight to get to my ankles so the hand with all of the stuff in it was forced to grab the other side. All of this was so that I could hold them at thigh level. My main goal in life was to get to a bathroom at that point.
Of course I had to go through security first, and part of that entails putting my things on a conveyor belt about a foot off of the floor to get x-rayed. I actually did this successfully and was able to hike the stockings up a little bit in the process unnoticed by the friendly police officers who bid me the usual good morning as I traveled through their area. I gathered my things off of the belt in what can only be described as an Emmy Award winning juggling act and made a break for the bathroom just down the hallway. That bathroom was out of order.
The next available bathroom was on the second floor. I took the elevator up; yes, in a crowd. Thankfully someone had pressed the number two. I hobbled to the bathroom in silent prayer saying morning greetings along the way as if nothing was wrong. It was unbelievable!
In the bathroom I put my tights underneath my underwear so that the underwear could act as a deterrent for the visit south the tights seemed to have their heart set on and hoped it would hold until lunch when I could go down Main Street and get a new pair at the CVS. (Not a short walk by the way, but no choice here.)
I start work at 8:30, by 9am the tights were sliding south again whether I liked it or not. The only thing holding them up was the crotch of the underwear. The waist was hanging between my knees and thighs. It was the most uncomfortable experience; I cannot describe it with correct words; it was THAT weird.
I told my coworker what was happening. I'm sure that she was laughing inwardly, but bless her kind heart, she didn't show it. Instead she covered the desk while I went to CVS to get a new pair of stockings. I have to admit that the plan was to purchase two pair...just in case. In case of what? I don't know. I was already in the throws of a stocking nightmare of epic proportions in my opinion! But that was the plan I was churning around in my brain overload at the moment. First I went to the bathroom to remove the tights but it had a lot of people in there so I just went to the store. I didn't want to have to explain nor did I want anyone to notice. Plus I had just watched Kathy Griffin say that part of her routine about the foot signs and hand signs under the bathroom stall walls at the airport, and I was peterified that someone would think I was hitting on them or something...it was that kind of a nightmare...it would've just been the next level. Luckily the underwear held up the tights for the duration of the sprint to CVS! The girl at CVS would not allow me to use the bathroom, so I was forced to go all the way back to the courthouse in that position. (A pox on her! And I told her why too...)
Again I had to get to the second floor because the bathroom on the first floor on that side was out of order as well. I have to tell you- that's ridiculous. They pay us nothing and were one of the richest counties in the state...why can't they fix the darn bathrooms? But I digress...
I was able to change the stockings and get back to my desk in record time with no one but my coworker being the wiser to my dilemma. She was very kind and very discreet about it. We had a little laugh and this new branch of my 'saga' ended.
The rest of the day went well for me. I actually have a point here for us though, about this blog-dieting-abusing ourselves...in the real world we live in. The point: You have to laugh at yourself sometimes. I can remember a day, not so long ago that this would have been too embarrassing an ordeal for me to handle. I would've blamed it on my being so fat that I had ripped the stockings or something along those lines instead of the fact that they were actually defective- CLEARLY! -Not to mention the problems with the bathrooms and greetings compounding the embarrassment. Be assured it would have been the emotional lashing paled only by the virtual scars that my minds whips and chains have already left on my brain.
Instead I chose to laugh. It is pretty funny now that I'm thinking of it. Nothing really embarrassing occurred and I stuck to my diet instead of using the saga as an excuse to eat for comfort. So if this or something like it happens to you, try to laugh about it and move forward. Things are just out of our control sometimes. I tend to forget that. If you find yourself saying 'yeah, me too.' It's a good time to run it through your mind.
I had a cup of watermelon slices for breakfast, a banana at 10am, chicken breast, with green beans and corn for lunch, no 3pm snack, chicken breast with lettuce and a touch of mayonnaise on a sesame seed bagel for dinner, and a yogurt for snack at 7pm. I drank all of my water and did well.
To update you on the other sagas: I've been leaving a sign on my car for the mystery balloon tier that this is not the correct car, along with my name- the balloon did not make it to the correct party. I have no more news on it than that. The anonymous gift I told you about must have arrived by now, but no word. Karaoke pictures of me mysteriously made it onto face book- not that I mind but I really try to hide from cameras because I feel so ugly in pictures. One turned out pretty good. It was the one I tried to put on the blog for you but couldn't. I'm still working on that. Body Conditioning class is going great. My whole body hurts today but I was able to do the power walk/sprint to CVS and back so I guess I'm okay... I think that's everything. ...And may I just say Whew!
Remember folks: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. Laugh at yourself sometimes, it's okay. See you tomorrow. ;-)
I pulled the tights out of the package and put them on gingerly because I have my new found manicure taking the world by storm to consider; the nails a magnificent burnt reddish-orange color... anyway, I successfully get the darn tights up and over my butt, which as you ladies as well as some of you men may know can be a monumental feat with the control top feature. As I pulled them up, the top part seemed to make a little cracking sound, which I had never experienced before and to tell you the truth- I ignored. (Is that muffled laughter I hear out there?)
I run out the door, get into my car and drive to work. I do my morning visualization, seeing myself as a world renowned author with friends and family gathered around proudly while I sign autographs and visit the realm of stardom and the bliss of fame and fortune in my car. In this particular dreamlike venue an old friend that I really adored and parted ways with a while back shows up with the balloon and gives it to me. It was great. I get out of my car and head into work feeling like I could conquer the world. That lasted a total of thirty seconds.
My brand new tights literally start traveling south at the speed of light. The elastic in the waistband was non-existent. Defective apparently. Oh great. I am forced to switch all of my items into one arm and hold the tights up with the other hand as I make my way the 200 yards towards the courthouse employee entrance. The tights were determined in their fight to get to my ankles so the hand with all of the stuff in it was forced to grab the other side. All of this was so that I could hold them at thigh level. My main goal in life was to get to a bathroom at that point.
Of course I had to go through security first, and part of that entails putting my things on a conveyor belt about a foot off of the floor to get x-rayed. I actually did this successfully and was able to hike the stockings up a little bit in the process unnoticed by the friendly police officers who bid me the usual good morning as I traveled through their area. I gathered my things off of the belt in what can only be described as an Emmy Award winning juggling act and made a break for the bathroom just down the hallway. That bathroom was out of order.
The next available bathroom was on the second floor. I took the elevator up; yes, in a crowd. Thankfully someone had pressed the number two. I hobbled to the bathroom in silent prayer saying morning greetings along the way as if nothing was wrong. It was unbelievable!
In the bathroom I put my tights underneath my underwear so that the underwear could act as a deterrent for the visit south the tights seemed to have their heart set on and hoped it would hold until lunch when I could go down Main Street and get a new pair at the CVS. (Not a short walk by the way, but no choice here.)
I start work at 8:30, by 9am the tights were sliding south again whether I liked it or not. The only thing holding them up was the crotch of the underwear. The waist was hanging between my knees and thighs. It was the most uncomfortable experience; I cannot describe it with correct words; it was THAT weird.
I told my coworker what was happening. I'm sure that she was laughing inwardly, but bless her kind heart, she didn't show it. Instead she covered the desk while I went to CVS to get a new pair of stockings. I have to admit that the plan was to purchase two pair...just in case. In case of what? I don't know. I was already in the throws of a stocking nightmare of epic proportions in my opinion! But that was the plan I was churning around in my brain overload at the moment. First I went to the bathroom to remove the tights but it had a lot of people in there so I just went to the store. I didn't want to have to explain nor did I want anyone to notice. Plus I had just watched Kathy Griffin say that part of her routine about the foot signs and hand signs under the bathroom stall walls at the airport, and I was peterified that someone would think I was hitting on them or something...it was that kind of a nightmare...it would've just been the next level. Luckily the underwear held up the tights for the duration of the sprint to CVS! The girl at CVS would not allow me to use the bathroom, so I was forced to go all the way back to the courthouse in that position. (A pox on her! And I told her why too...)
Again I had to get to the second floor because the bathroom on the first floor on that side was out of order as well. I have to tell you- that's ridiculous. They pay us nothing and were one of the richest counties in the state...why can't they fix the darn bathrooms? But I digress...
I was able to change the stockings and get back to my desk in record time with no one but my coworker being the wiser to my dilemma. She was very kind and very discreet about it. We had a little laugh and this new branch of my 'saga' ended.
The rest of the day went well for me. I actually have a point here for us though, about this blog-dieting-abusing ourselves...in the real world we live in. The point: You have to laugh at yourself sometimes. I can remember a day, not so long ago that this would have been too embarrassing an ordeal for me to handle. I would've blamed it on my being so fat that I had ripped the stockings or something along those lines instead of the fact that they were actually defective- CLEARLY! -Not to mention the problems with the bathrooms and greetings compounding the embarrassment. Be assured it would have been the emotional lashing paled only by the virtual scars that my minds whips and chains have already left on my brain.
Instead I chose to laugh. It is pretty funny now that I'm thinking of it. Nothing really embarrassing occurred and I stuck to my diet instead of using the saga as an excuse to eat for comfort. So if this or something like it happens to you, try to laugh about it and move forward. Things are just out of our control sometimes. I tend to forget that. If you find yourself saying 'yeah, me too.' It's a good time to run it through your mind.
I had a cup of watermelon slices for breakfast, a banana at 10am, chicken breast, with green beans and corn for lunch, no 3pm snack, chicken breast with lettuce and a touch of mayonnaise on a sesame seed bagel for dinner, and a yogurt for snack at 7pm. I drank all of my water and did well.
To update you on the other sagas: I've been leaving a sign on my car for the mystery balloon tier that this is not the correct car, along with my name- the balloon did not make it to the correct party. I have no more news on it than that. The anonymous gift I told you about must have arrived by now, but no word. Karaoke pictures of me mysteriously made it onto face book- not that I mind but I really try to hide from cameras because I feel so ugly in pictures. One turned out pretty good. It was the one I tried to put on the blog for you but couldn't. I'm still working on that. Body Conditioning class is going great. My whole body hurts today but I was able to do the power walk/sprint to CVS and back so I guess I'm okay... I think that's everything. ...And may I just say Whew!
Remember folks: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. Laugh at yourself sometimes, it's okay. See you tomorrow. ;-)
Monday, September 28, 2009
September 28, 2009 Diet Blog
Happy Monday everyone! It was a good day today. For breakfast I had a banana, for 10am snack 6 rice cakes, for lunch a Smart Ones and a plumb, no 3pm snack, 4oz of steak with green beans and kernel corn for dinner and a lite n fit blueberry yogurt after I got home from body conditioning class. I stuck to my diet like glue. I guess my biggest battle plan problems seem to occur on weekends. I love going out with my friends so I'm not going to give that up. It will never work. It curbs empty nest syndrome for me; alleviates boredom and I like to smile, laugh and be with people. The idea here is to fit the diet into our lifestyle so that it will work right? Not the other way around. I just have to figure out a way around the being able to get the right food and the correct way to have only a little wine- issues. I'm still a work in progress as you can see.
You may remember my coworker with the grueling schedule that forced her into eating fast food for dinner every night? She is doing really well. The weekend was a total success for her and she seemed very happy about that. She ate well today too, even though leftover goodies from last weeks numerous parties at work were laid out for the taking. It made things easier for me too; to diet as a team, I have to admit. So we both did a great job.
Our other coworker had the baby. It was a little girl at 7lbs, 3oz. Mother and daughter are healthy and doing great. I spoke to her today. She sounds elated. I remember feeling that when my children were born. The memory is nice. It's very nostalgic.
I remember telling you before the weekend that I had the name of a book that I wanted to share with you. I do. I'm sorry that I didn't get to it sooner. "The no-diet weight loss solution: EAT THIS NOT THAT" book was written by David Zinczenenko, who is the editor in chief of Men's Health Magazine with Matt Goulding. It seems like it would really be geared toward men , but we women got a lot out of it too. It has all kinds of interesting information in it. Things like: What to eat when you want to feel younger; when you want the most from a workout; when you want to get in 'the mood;' when you want a baby; when you are stressed; when you are sad; when your feeling fat; when your low on energy; when you need a brain boost; when you want to increase metabolism; when you are hung over; when you're under the weather; and comparisons on many foods bought at the grocery store and fast food stores. We really enjoyed browsing through it. I even copied some of the pages so I could read them at home uninterrupted. If you have any books that you would like to share I'd love to check them out. Post them on comments please.
My workout went well. My husband is not feeling well and so I asked the teacher if I could take the earlier class. She allowed it. Also I'm happy to report that I got an 'A' on that pop quiz we had, which honestly shocked me. I did 30 minutes on the treadmill, and 10 minutes on the bicycle just to see if I could add more time. I used 220 calories according to the machines combined. I'm feeling satisfied with myself. I'm going to work on coming up with that battle plan for weekends. It seems to be that the times I have the most trouble are when I need to incorporate the 'rules' into the fun parts of my lifestyle. I'll figure it out. In the meantime I'm going to try to work through it all without getting totally frustrated and miserable with myself. It accomplishes nothing to do that. My head knows it...it's my heart that hasn't quite got the idea.
On that note I'll sign off saying, you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will be that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having fun. Stay positive! I'll see you tomorrow. ;-)
You may remember my coworker with the grueling schedule that forced her into eating fast food for dinner every night? She is doing really well. The weekend was a total success for her and she seemed very happy about that. She ate well today too, even though leftover goodies from last weeks numerous parties at work were laid out for the taking. It made things easier for me too; to diet as a team, I have to admit. So we both did a great job.
Our other coworker had the baby. It was a little girl at 7lbs, 3oz. Mother and daughter are healthy and doing great. I spoke to her today. She sounds elated. I remember feeling that when my children were born. The memory is nice. It's very nostalgic.
I remember telling you before the weekend that I had the name of a book that I wanted to share with you. I do. I'm sorry that I didn't get to it sooner. "The no-diet weight loss solution: EAT THIS NOT THAT" book was written by David Zinczenenko, who is the editor in chief of Men's Health Magazine with Matt Goulding. It seems like it would really be geared toward men , but we women got a lot out of it too. It has all kinds of interesting information in it. Things like: What to eat when you want to feel younger; when you want the most from a workout; when you want to get in 'the mood;' when you want a baby; when you are stressed; when you are sad; when your feeling fat; when your low on energy; when you need a brain boost; when you want to increase metabolism; when you are hung over; when you're under the weather; and comparisons on many foods bought at the grocery store and fast food stores. We really enjoyed browsing through it. I even copied some of the pages so I could read them at home uninterrupted. If you have any books that you would like to share I'd love to check them out. Post them on comments please.
My workout went well. My husband is not feeling well and so I asked the teacher if I could take the earlier class. She allowed it. Also I'm happy to report that I got an 'A' on that pop quiz we had, which honestly shocked me. I did 30 minutes on the treadmill, and 10 minutes on the bicycle just to see if I could add more time. I used 220 calories according to the machines combined. I'm feeling satisfied with myself. I'm going to work on coming up with that battle plan for weekends. It seems to be that the times I have the most trouble are when I need to incorporate the 'rules' into the fun parts of my lifestyle. I'll figure it out. In the meantime I'm going to try to work through it all without getting totally frustrated and miserable with myself. It accomplishes nothing to do that. My head knows it...it's my heart that hasn't quite got the idea.
On that note I'll sign off saying, you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will be that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having fun. Stay positive! I'll see you tomorrow. ;-)
Sunday, September 27, 2009
September 27, 2009 Diet Blog
Well today I slept in pretty late. Actually I got up and then went back to bed. I was out very late as you know. My husband has a terrible cold. He wasn't really into getting up early either. I felt pretty low most of the day, although I tried to fight it because my feeling bad or beating myself up over a bad diet day isn't going to change it.
I did get a lift in spirits when I heard from my pregnant co-worker. She text me that she is in labor and her water broke. You want to talk about timing? She left work Friday thinking it would be two more weeks before she gave birth. She had intentions of setting things up and visiting us on Thursday for lunch. How funny! Life is what happens while we are making other plans as they say.
Speaking of life- I received a lovely gift from the Lord today. Let me explain...
I was feeling very low as I mentioned. I was literally engaged in that war in my head every waking moment of my day. The news about my friend was a lift but not a total turn around in my mood, sadly. I went to the grocery store and of course I purchased all of the necessary items for my diet. I did great.
I was on the checkout line behind a woman with an order about as large as mine. She was clearly distraught. She was emptying out her purse and she just looked so upset. Her hand was full of small change. I couldn't help but take notice. I listened to her trying to explain to the cashier that she had thought she had enough of money for her purchase. The young cashier was very polite but had that look of :
'oh crap! Now I have to void out this order and start over.'
You know the look. We've all seen it at one time or another haven't we?
I stuck my nose in and asked the embarrassed woman gently how much she was short of her bill.
$7.
$7 stupid dollars.
I handed her $7. You'd have thought I gave her a brick of gold because she was that happy. She thanked me profusely and asked how she could get it back to me. It was $7 dollars, not $700. I told her to 'pay it forward,' which means to help someone out down the line who is in need. She agreed. She left the grocery store feeling good. The cashier also felt good. A wave of relief came over her sweet face. I paid for my order, packed it up and left. So my grocery bill came to $179 instead of $172.
I bring this up, not for kudos. It was a random act of kindness- nothing more. It was the gift that I got out of it that I wanted to share with you. I think that I was feeling so low that the Lord gave me a deterrent so that I would feel better. By helping her, I made myself feel good. I got to leave that store knowing that two people were better off for having crossed my path today. That feels so nice. My spirits are so lifted and I feel good about myself. Okay; so the package my heart comes in isn't so beautiful right now. It'll get there. But the inside of me is still beautiful. We tend to forget that no matter what size our butt is; our heart stays the same size. We really are beautiful. The Lord doesn't make ugly people. Some of us just radiate it from within. That's the message that I want to share with you on this day.
I had oatmeal for breakfast. I'm making chicken breast on wheat bagels with lettuce, tomato and a smidgen of light mayonnaise for my hubby and I as dinner. That's my entire day of food. I wasn't kidding when I told you I was feeling low-low-low.
The message for me from heaven, the angels, the universe and our sweet Lord was that real beauty is found within. We are not alone in our quest to pretty up the package a bit but when it's all boiled down to nothing, we will be remembered for things we did to help others out. I don't think either of those women looked at me and saw a fat ugly person today. In fact, both of those women will not remember me at all most likely, but they will remember the story. They will remember the feeling. Do you understand?
I'll sign off on that note reminding us that WE look as good as we can for today! Tomorrow WE will look that much better! Let's not let our perception of our bodies stand in the way of us having a good time! Stay positive! I'll see you tomorrow! ;-)
I did get a lift in spirits when I heard from my pregnant co-worker. She text me that she is in labor and her water broke. You want to talk about timing? She left work Friday thinking it would be two more weeks before she gave birth. She had intentions of setting things up and visiting us on Thursday for lunch. How funny! Life is what happens while we are making other plans as they say.
Speaking of life- I received a lovely gift from the Lord today. Let me explain...
I was feeling very low as I mentioned. I was literally engaged in that war in my head every waking moment of my day. The news about my friend was a lift but not a total turn around in my mood, sadly. I went to the grocery store and of course I purchased all of the necessary items for my diet. I did great.
I was on the checkout line behind a woman with an order about as large as mine. She was clearly distraught. She was emptying out her purse and she just looked so upset. Her hand was full of small change. I couldn't help but take notice. I listened to her trying to explain to the cashier that she had thought she had enough of money for her purchase. The young cashier was very polite but had that look of :
'oh crap! Now I have to void out this order and start over.'
You know the look. We've all seen it at one time or another haven't we?
I stuck my nose in and asked the embarrassed woman gently how much she was short of her bill.
$7.
$7 stupid dollars.
I handed her $7. You'd have thought I gave her a brick of gold because she was that happy. She thanked me profusely and asked how she could get it back to me. It was $7 dollars, not $700. I told her to 'pay it forward,' which means to help someone out down the line who is in need. She agreed. She left the grocery store feeling good. The cashier also felt good. A wave of relief came over her sweet face. I paid for my order, packed it up and left. So my grocery bill came to $179 instead of $172.
I bring this up, not for kudos. It was a random act of kindness- nothing more. It was the gift that I got out of it that I wanted to share with you. I think that I was feeling so low that the Lord gave me a deterrent so that I would feel better. By helping her, I made myself feel good. I got to leave that store knowing that two people were better off for having crossed my path today. That feels so nice. My spirits are so lifted and I feel good about myself. Okay; so the package my heart comes in isn't so beautiful right now. It'll get there. But the inside of me is still beautiful. We tend to forget that no matter what size our butt is; our heart stays the same size. We really are beautiful. The Lord doesn't make ugly people. Some of us just radiate it from within. That's the message that I want to share with you on this day.
I had oatmeal for breakfast. I'm making chicken breast on wheat bagels with lettuce, tomato and a smidgen of light mayonnaise for my hubby and I as dinner. That's my entire day of food. I wasn't kidding when I told you I was feeling low-low-low.
The message for me from heaven, the angels, the universe and our sweet Lord was that real beauty is found within. We are not alone in our quest to pretty up the package a bit but when it's all boiled down to nothing, we will be remembered for things we did to help others out. I don't think either of those women looked at me and saw a fat ugly person today. In fact, both of those women will not remember me at all most likely, but they will remember the story. They will remember the feeling. Do you understand?
I'll sign off on that note reminding us that WE look as good as we can for today! Tomorrow WE will look that much better! Let's not let our perception of our bodies stand in the way of us having a good time! Stay positive! I'll see you tomorrow! ;-)
September 26, 2009 Diet Blog
Let me start off by mentioning for those of you that have followed the entire blog so far, that I was able to retrieve the lost September 15 file. While I was trying to learn how to put a photograph on, I accidentally came across the method of retrieval. It was in the edit drafts area of the blog that had been thus undiscovered by me until this point. I was very excited. I still have not figured out how to put the picture on but bear with me, I will succeed at it as well.
My day began with Oatmeal for breakfast. It went completely awry from that point. I took my nephew shopping as his belated birthday gift. We went to the mall. We were there until about two. I ate nothing and drank nothing because the mall is junk food heaven and I didn't want to wreck my current 'roll.' Sadly I couldn't hold on to it.
My nephew decided on what food he would like for his special dinner. Mexican. Not my favorite so I figured that I would be alright even though I was really hungry. We met his mom and his sister there. I looked at the menu and saw chicken ranch sandwich. I was elated. In my mind I was going to be able to eat and still stay the course. When the sandwich came I knew I was sadly mistaken. It was deep fried chicken with lettuce and tomato on a sesame seed roll with spicy sauce of some sort. It came with fries and a margurita. I did not eat the fries but I had to eat the sandwich and drink the margurita because the sandwich was so spicy it made my eyes water. I also downed 3 diet cokes afterward. It was getting late and I was expected at another party.
I went straight to the party telling myself that there was no need to eat because I was full from the sandwich and I inwardly praised myself for not eating the beloved french fries, which are one of my favorite things. It couldn't be helped I told myself, you can still do okay for the day. I think I even believed myself. The party was nice. Just a bunch of neighbors and family; very casual. Around nine o'clock someone took orders for pizza and ordered delivery. I gracefully declined but I was getting hungry. There was only junk snacks before the pizza came. I ate none.
The fella carrying in the pizzas was also carrying chicken fingers and bbq sauce on the top and tripped. The bbq sauce and the chicken fingers landed all over me. My hair, my shirt, and my pants were totally splattered. My BFF got out spray and wash and scrubbed as much of it off of my light colored sweatshirt as possible. I made light of it, laughing with everyone. You know; what're you going to do? Stuff happens right? It wasn't like it was a malicious act of some kind. It was an accident- for which I was apologised profusely to.
It was getting cold outside though and I was soaking wet from the spray and wash. Low and behold, the two dogs fall in love with me. It got really funny actually. I wasn't mad, just put into an unwanted spotlight.... It wasn't long after that that the champagne came out for whatever celebration was occurring and that got spilled on me too. It was as if there was a target on me! Anyway, I promised to be truthful and so I will...I'm sorry to have to write that I gave up at that point. I had a tiny piece of the pizza- like half of a half of a slice if it was that much and I had champagne. I had three glasses of it. It was fine champagne in beautiful crystal glasses too; you can imagine my appearance by that point holding this magnificent bubbly. To add insult to injury the women there, including my BFF were all blonds with nice bodies. I was so big in comparison to them. Instead of doing the right thing, I literally gave up. I had drank wine with my BFF before that when I was still trying to maintain some kind of control. It wasn't that I didn't care. I just couldn't do it. The situation was impossible. I'm weak I guess.
I'm trying not to beat myself up too badly but I'm only semi succeeding. I can't change it but I had the choice and blew it in the heat of the real battle. Sometimes I feel like I just want to be like everyone else. I mean all of the girls at that party indulge in foods and drink on a constant basis and remain beautiful. Why is that? In my head Kirsty Ally is screaming out "its the damn code!"
I'm feeling pretty 'done' with the whole traumatic experience; just cooked...stick the fork in kind of done. I'm disappointed in me. I had a nice time yesterday, but always and ever I'm forced to suffer through the underlying emotions that I've been describing to you along our path. Tell me about yours; won't you? Is there a battle plan for this? If you have any ideas, I'm beyond open to hearing them. I'm feeling a little low at the moment. How could I choose wrongly after the week I've remained steadfast through. (sigh) But I have to take a deep breath in and let all of it go with the exhale.
I'll sign off in our usual fashion because I need to drill this into my head: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will be that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. (Even if it is covered with bbq sauce.) Stay positive. See you next time. ;-)
My day began with Oatmeal for breakfast. It went completely awry from that point. I took my nephew shopping as his belated birthday gift. We went to the mall. We were there until about two. I ate nothing and drank nothing because the mall is junk food heaven and I didn't want to wreck my current 'roll.' Sadly I couldn't hold on to it.
My nephew decided on what food he would like for his special dinner. Mexican. Not my favorite so I figured that I would be alright even though I was really hungry. We met his mom and his sister there. I looked at the menu and saw chicken ranch sandwich. I was elated. In my mind I was going to be able to eat and still stay the course. When the sandwich came I knew I was sadly mistaken. It was deep fried chicken with lettuce and tomato on a sesame seed roll with spicy sauce of some sort. It came with fries and a margurita. I did not eat the fries but I had to eat the sandwich and drink the margurita because the sandwich was so spicy it made my eyes water. I also downed 3 diet cokes afterward. It was getting late and I was expected at another party.
I went straight to the party telling myself that there was no need to eat because I was full from the sandwich and I inwardly praised myself for not eating the beloved french fries, which are one of my favorite things. It couldn't be helped I told myself, you can still do okay for the day. I think I even believed myself. The party was nice. Just a bunch of neighbors and family; very casual. Around nine o'clock someone took orders for pizza and ordered delivery. I gracefully declined but I was getting hungry. There was only junk snacks before the pizza came. I ate none.
The fella carrying in the pizzas was also carrying chicken fingers and bbq sauce on the top and tripped. The bbq sauce and the chicken fingers landed all over me. My hair, my shirt, and my pants were totally splattered. My BFF got out spray and wash and scrubbed as much of it off of my light colored sweatshirt as possible. I made light of it, laughing with everyone. You know; what're you going to do? Stuff happens right? It wasn't like it was a malicious act of some kind. It was an accident- for which I was apologised profusely to.
It was getting cold outside though and I was soaking wet from the spray and wash. Low and behold, the two dogs fall in love with me. It got really funny actually. I wasn't mad, just put into an unwanted spotlight.... It wasn't long after that that the champagne came out for whatever celebration was occurring and that got spilled on me too. It was as if there was a target on me! Anyway, I promised to be truthful and so I will...I'm sorry to have to write that I gave up at that point. I had a tiny piece of the pizza- like half of a half of a slice if it was that much and I had champagne. I had three glasses of it. It was fine champagne in beautiful crystal glasses too; you can imagine my appearance by that point holding this magnificent bubbly. To add insult to injury the women there, including my BFF were all blonds with nice bodies. I was so big in comparison to them. Instead of doing the right thing, I literally gave up. I had drank wine with my BFF before that when I was still trying to maintain some kind of control. It wasn't that I didn't care. I just couldn't do it. The situation was impossible. I'm weak I guess.
I'm trying not to beat myself up too badly but I'm only semi succeeding. I can't change it but I had the choice and blew it in the heat of the real battle. Sometimes I feel like I just want to be like everyone else. I mean all of the girls at that party indulge in foods and drink on a constant basis and remain beautiful. Why is that? In my head Kirsty Ally is screaming out "its the damn code!"
I'm feeling pretty 'done' with the whole traumatic experience; just cooked...stick the fork in kind of done. I'm disappointed in me. I had a nice time yesterday, but always and ever I'm forced to suffer through the underlying emotions that I've been describing to you along our path. Tell me about yours; won't you? Is there a battle plan for this? If you have any ideas, I'm beyond open to hearing them. I'm feeling a little low at the moment. How could I choose wrongly after the week I've remained steadfast through. (sigh) But I have to take a deep breath in and let all of it go with the exhale.
I'll sign off in our usual fashion because I need to drill this into my head: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will be that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. (Even if it is covered with bbq sauce.) Stay positive. See you next time. ;-)
Saturday, September 26, 2009
September 25, 2009 Diet Blog
No new news on the nice annonymous thing I did for someone a while back or the mysterious balloon tied to my car. My entire circle of friends claims no responsibility and no knowledge of the balloon. (The joke gift for the other friend went off wonderfully. They said that it made their day. Remember that I had promised to let you followers know.) Anyway, for lack of a better idea- I think that someone may have tied the balloon to the wrong car. I feel so bad for the person that didn't get it because that feeling of getting it was so amazing, but I feel worse for the mystery tier. They are most likely expecting a phone call or a reaction of some kind.
I was talking to my manicurist about it and she said that she doesn't think it went down that way. In her version of the mystery of the heart balloon she thinks that it did get tied to the right car and that perhaps the recipient was married and could not take it home so they just tied it to another car (because we are parked in a garage) and drove off. Another girl said that sounded correct to her but she felt that maybe the balloon tied to my car was a negative response to whoever put it on the original car. In other words because the recipient knew who put it there and did not feel the same- to the point of wanting to hurt the tier. Indeed an interesting scenario but it kind of put a negative spin on something I thought and felt, as the one who thought she was the true recipient, was very beautiful.
I think I'm going to choose to believe that it was a star crossed effort of love gone awry. It got onto my car by mistake maybe but it was a loving, caring, sweet gesture for someone who is important to and means something deep to someone else. I choose to believe that the balloon ended up on my car (whether it was originally meant for me or not) so that for that one split second I could feel that someone treasured me enough to do something that sweet, nice and wonderful to get my attention.
I also choose to believe I was meant to send it up to my little girl for the same reason. I guess that makes me a bit of a romantic, but as they say...if the shoe (or heart in this case) fits...wear it. So thank you...?Universe for THAT feeling. I'll cherish it. If anything new occurs regarding the mystery of the heart balloon, the readers of this blog will be among those I tell of course. Believe it or not, the things that happen to us each day can rule the stress factor, which in turn can rule the choices we make in our diet...at least it seems that way.
I had a wheat Thomas' English muffin for breakfast, 1 cup of grapes for 10am snack; chicken breast, green beans and a plumb for lunch; rice cakes at 3pm and wheat noodles in low fat sauce for dinner. It was a very hard day diet wise. Today was the party of all parties at work. Everyone cheated except me and one other girl as far as I know. The food was mountainous-all junk-all delicious and available in huge quantities and sums for the taking. I took none. Not even one bite. It was a real fight though.
I found myself feeling depressed and deprived about it later on, although those same emotions could be tied to the coworker leaving to have a baby. I adore her. I'm going to miss her. I cried a little, but I hid it because I hate being vulnerable...actually I hate others seeing me that way to be truthful. Anyway, that feeling of defeat lasted awhile. I was getting ready to go out with two of my friends from Wanaque (excuse the spelling if its incorrect) and I just couldn't find anything to wear that I felt good in. I went out of course because one of them is moving to Florida and this was our last hurrah together but i tugged and pulled at my clothes all night, very aware of them.. too aware.
I had a good time but always without breaking, and all night I held in the back of my mind that I'm too fat. I'm ugly. I was the biggest one there...you know, every self loathing thing you can imagine. My battle plan was to get one small glass of wine and a large glass of water. The battle plan worked. We had a lovely time, sang the night away, laughed and then I went home. I couldn't shake the feeling though. I'm not sure where it came from or why. My self esteem was non-existant.
I bring that up because I was forced to power through it, consciously making the right choices as I went through the day. To be truthful the entire week was one big party with colossal amounts of foods that I love but know will break my stride. I chose right but I'm exhausted from it. The right thing to do is always the hardest thing to do as I used to tell my son as he grew up. It's true. I'm not sure where I heard it or if I just made it up one day, but there is profound truth in the statementif you think about it.
My son said that decisions have to be made by weighing (to use a word that I despise) in the pros and cons of each decision. Do I want this instant gratification or do I want the body I visualise myself having next year? The choice is mine. He's a smart kid... no, that's wrong...he's a smart man.
Simply put- that is exactly how I handled the situation. It's the emotions that I'm having the trouble with. They confuse me sometimes. They seem to come out of no where. They are always on the attack. They are a 'big bully.' They carry me to the negative side of the fence by force. I kick and scream but I always seem to get deposited there. I don't like that side of the fence and so I refuse to dwell there. I will never go down without a fight, my TSK Sensei's, friends, family and loved ones would never forgive it. And I would not forgive myself for it sadly...hense the mind lashing on myself continues in a constant fight. Anyway, I'm climbing back over the fence as I write. You are helping me. I want to help you too.
So that was my harrowing experience in and of a very long week; yet remaining steadfast. I did okay. For those who didn't, let me just say to climb the fence with me over to this side. Beating yourself up is not going to change anything. It will only compound things and make it worse. You don't need that. Start again right now. I'm with you. Let's do it together.
On that note I will say loudly: REMEMBER! You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. I'll see you in the next Blog! ;-)
I was talking to my manicurist about it and she said that she doesn't think it went down that way. In her version of the mystery of the heart balloon she thinks that it did get tied to the right car and that perhaps the recipient was married and could not take it home so they just tied it to another car (because we are parked in a garage) and drove off. Another girl said that sounded correct to her but she felt that maybe the balloon tied to my car was a negative response to whoever put it on the original car. In other words because the recipient knew who put it there and did not feel the same- to the point of wanting to hurt the tier. Indeed an interesting scenario but it kind of put a negative spin on something I thought and felt, as the one who thought she was the true recipient, was very beautiful.
I think I'm going to choose to believe that it was a star crossed effort of love gone awry. It got onto my car by mistake maybe but it was a loving, caring, sweet gesture for someone who is important to and means something deep to someone else. I choose to believe that the balloon ended up on my car (whether it was originally meant for me or not) so that for that one split second I could feel that someone treasured me enough to do something that sweet, nice and wonderful to get my attention.
I also choose to believe I was meant to send it up to my little girl for the same reason. I guess that makes me a bit of a romantic, but as they say...if the shoe (or heart in this case) fits...wear it. So thank you...?Universe for THAT feeling. I'll cherish it. If anything new occurs regarding the mystery of the heart balloon, the readers of this blog will be among those I tell of course. Believe it or not, the things that happen to us each day can rule the stress factor, which in turn can rule the choices we make in our diet...at least it seems that way.
I had a wheat Thomas' English muffin for breakfast, 1 cup of grapes for 10am snack; chicken breast, green beans and a plumb for lunch; rice cakes at 3pm and wheat noodles in low fat sauce for dinner. It was a very hard day diet wise. Today was the party of all parties at work. Everyone cheated except me and one other girl as far as I know. The food was mountainous-all junk-all delicious and available in huge quantities and sums for the taking. I took none. Not even one bite. It was a real fight though.
I found myself feeling depressed and deprived about it later on, although those same emotions could be tied to the coworker leaving to have a baby. I adore her. I'm going to miss her. I cried a little, but I hid it because I hate being vulnerable...actually I hate others seeing me that way to be truthful. Anyway, that feeling of defeat lasted awhile. I was getting ready to go out with two of my friends from Wanaque (excuse the spelling if its incorrect) and I just couldn't find anything to wear that I felt good in. I went out of course because one of them is moving to Florida and this was our last hurrah together but i tugged and pulled at my clothes all night, very aware of them.. too aware.
I had a good time but always without breaking, and all night I held in the back of my mind that I'm too fat. I'm ugly. I was the biggest one there...you know, every self loathing thing you can imagine. My battle plan was to get one small glass of wine and a large glass of water. The battle plan worked. We had a lovely time, sang the night away, laughed and then I went home. I couldn't shake the feeling though. I'm not sure where it came from or why. My self esteem was non-existant.
I bring that up because I was forced to power through it, consciously making the right choices as I went through the day. To be truthful the entire week was one big party with colossal amounts of foods that I love but know will break my stride. I chose right but I'm exhausted from it. The right thing to do is always the hardest thing to do as I used to tell my son as he grew up. It's true. I'm not sure where I heard it or if I just made it up one day, but there is profound truth in the statementif you think about it.
My son said that decisions have to be made by weighing (to use a word that I despise) in the pros and cons of each decision. Do I want this instant gratification or do I want the body I visualise myself having next year? The choice is mine. He's a smart kid... no, that's wrong...he's a smart man.
Simply put- that is exactly how I handled the situation. It's the emotions that I'm having the trouble with. They confuse me sometimes. They seem to come out of no where. They are always on the attack. They are a 'big bully.' They carry me to the negative side of the fence by force. I kick and scream but I always seem to get deposited there. I don't like that side of the fence and so I refuse to dwell there. I will never go down without a fight, my TSK Sensei's, friends, family and loved ones would never forgive it. And I would not forgive myself for it sadly...hense the mind lashing on myself continues in a constant fight. Anyway, I'm climbing back over the fence as I write. You are helping me. I want to help you too.
So that was my harrowing experience in and of a very long week; yet remaining steadfast. I did okay. For those who didn't, let me just say to climb the fence with me over to this side. Beating yourself up is not going to change anything. It will only compound things and make it worse. You don't need that. Start again right now. I'm with you. Let's do it together.
On that note I will say loudly: REMEMBER! You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. I'll see you in the next Blog! ;-)
Thursday, September 24, 2009
September 24, 2009 Diet Blog
Well I'm going to start at the end of my workday with this Blog because the oddest thing happened. I got out of the elevator saying goodbye to my coworkers and headed to my car. Nothing looked unusual until I went around to the drivers side of the car. There was a heart shaped balloon tied to my door handle that said 'I miss you' on it. I looked around for any sign of who it might be. It was only looped around so I was able to untie it relatively easily.
When I got home my husband was not here. I decided to send the balloon to heaven carrying a kiss from me for my little girl. I kissed it and let it go. Short of it being on my car by mistake I have no idea who would've put it there. So my sweet angel in heaven was the ultimate recipient. I text a few people like several BFF's and sent a few face book private messages out to people that I thought may have done it; may know who might have done it or that I thought would thoroughly enjoy my latest saga. My very Best BFF suggested the name of someone she thought it may be. I text that person too, for the first time in a long time. They didn't respond. Believe me when I tell you if it was THAT person they would've taken credit for that sweet, sensitive, loving, thoughtful gesture. I'm guessing it wasn't them. But its too late. I already text.... The non-response is that persons usual way. I knew that but for a split second in my brain and my best BFF's it made sense. She still thinks it. No one copped to it tho and so I think it may have been tied to my car in error after all. I think if someone went that far they would've come forward knowing I've found it by now. Still...it was very cool. You know that's making it into one of my books!
I had a busy day but a good one at work. There was drama but it happened to my friends in a different department this time. Whew! It's hard sometimes. I had weight control Oatmeal for breakfast, 6 silver dollar sized rice cakes for snack, chicken breast, green beans and a plumb for lunch, no 3pm snack because I wasn't hungry and wheat noodles in low fat sauce for dinner. I had a lite n fit yogurt 4 late snack just now. I did good today. I held my ground and it was HARD-HARD-HARD! Today's party had every one of my favorite junk foods. I didn't eat one bite.
My coworker mentioned that she had to go and take a bone density test recommended by her doctor. The last one had been about 7 years before this. She had gained 30 pounds and shrunk one inch. For her that was the 'aha moment' it took to open her eyes and really make her see that she needs to do something to take care of herself better. She partied with everyone and will begin again tomorrow. I like that she didn't feel guilt telling me that. I can't fix other people's weight but I'm here to be a tool so that they can fix what needs fixing themselves. I'm routing for her...and for you and me too.
There was apparently a news reporter/doctor on recently that had their heart tested after eating good and bad foods to see what the immediate results would be. I didn't see it but a coworker did. She said that the reporter/doctor ate healthy food first and when she was tested everything was working great. Her arteries expanded and contracted with health and ease. This same person then ate a bacon cheeseburger, fries, onion rings, a milkshake and whatever other horrible thing she could find and was tested right away again. The arteries could not expand and contract properly and her normally healthy system was completely thrown off. The point was that if that could happen in just a short time after eating one meal of junk food, can you imagine what would happen after years of abuse? I was astounded as was she. I was glad that I clung to my diet. I'm still glad.
I'll end on that note reminding you that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive!
...and if that balloon on my car was for me and it was you, and you feel that way...please step up. It was so nice. Thank you...for whatever reason you find yourself in the position of missing me...we'll figure out how to fix it, apologise for it, explain it or just move past it. The gift was lovely.
Have a good night everyone. I'll see you tomorrow. I have a book that I want to tell you about. ;-)
When I got home my husband was not here. I decided to send the balloon to heaven carrying a kiss from me for my little girl. I kissed it and let it go. Short of it being on my car by mistake I have no idea who would've put it there. So my sweet angel in heaven was the ultimate recipient. I text a few people like several BFF's and sent a few face book private messages out to people that I thought may have done it; may know who might have done it or that I thought would thoroughly enjoy my latest saga. My very Best BFF suggested the name of someone she thought it may be. I text that person too, for the first time in a long time. They didn't respond. Believe me when I tell you if it was THAT person they would've taken credit for that sweet, sensitive, loving, thoughtful gesture. I'm guessing it wasn't them. But its too late. I already text.... The non-response is that persons usual way. I knew that but for a split second in my brain and my best BFF's it made sense. She still thinks it. No one copped to it tho and so I think it may have been tied to my car in error after all. I think if someone went that far they would've come forward knowing I've found it by now. Still...it was very cool. You know that's making it into one of my books!
I had a busy day but a good one at work. There was drama but it happened to my friends in a different department this time. Whew! It's hard sometimes. I had weight control Oatmeal for breakfast, 6 silver dollar sized rice cakes for snack, chicken breast, green beans and a plumb for lunch, no 3pm snack because I wasn't hungry and wheat noodles in low fat sauce for dinner. I had a lite n fit yogurt 4 late snack just now. I did good today. I held my ground and it was HARD-HARD-HARD! Today's party had every one of my favorite junk foods. I didn't eat one bite.
My coworker mentioned that she had to go and take a bone density test recommended by her doctor. The last one had been about 7 years before this. She had gained 30 pounds and shrunk one inch. For her that was the 'aha moment' it took to open her eyes and really make her see that she needs to do something to take care of herself better. She partied with everyone and will begin again tomorrow. I like that she didn't feel guilt telling me that. I can't fix other people's weight but I'm here to be a tool so that they can fix what needs fixing themselves. I'm routing for her...and for you and me too.
There was apparently a news reporter/doctor on recently that had their heart tested after eating good and bad foods to see what the immediate results would be. I didn't see it but a coworker did. She said that the reporter/doctor ate healthy food first and when she was tested everything was working great. Her arteries expanded and contracted with health and ease. This same person then ate a bacon cheeseburger, fries, onion rings, a milkshake and whatever other horrible thing she could find and was tested right away again. The arteries could not expand and contract properly and her normally healthy system was completely thrown off. The point was that if that could happen in just a short time after eating one meal of junk food, can you imagine what would happen after years of abuse? I was astounded as was she. I was glad that I clung to my diet. I'm still glad.
I'll end on that note reminding you that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive!
...and if that balloon on my car was for me and it was you, and you feel that way...please step up. It was so nice. Thank you...for whatever reason you find yourself in the position of missing me...we'll figure out how to fix it, apologise for it, explain it or just move past it. The gift was lovely.
Have a good night everyone. I'll see you tomorrow. I have a book that I want to tell you about. ;-)
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
September 23, 2009 Diet Blog
It was certainly a much better day than it has been lately, thankfully. It's much easier for me to stick to my diet regimen when I'm not completely stressed. This morning I had a plain wheat bagel; no butter;no nothing on it with coffee. I went without both of my snacks so that I could enjoy that and a hamburger for dinner. Lunch was a Smart Ones Mac and Cheese and a plumb.
There is a party every day this week at work; between the birthdays and the co worker leaving to have her baby. It's a difficult task but so far I'm holding strong. I was talking to one of my fellow workers about the diet and the blog. She is coming on to have a look and I think that's just great.
Later she walked by me with a plate heaped with junk food from the party. When she saw me her facial expression changed drastically. I smiled at her. I recognised it because I've worn the look myself so many times in my life for the same reason. She felt odd about having just finished the diet conversation and then eating all of the junk. Guilt.
That's not what I want. That's not who I am. I'm not here to make anyone; not even myself feel guilty. It has absolutely no purpose in bringing us closer to our goal. I encourage you to try but I'm still 100% behind you if you don't succeed right out of the gate. I have tried and failed and tried and failed more times than I can count. It happens to the best of us.
To quote an XBFF "the pathway to hell is paved with good intentions." In that scenario XBFF was hell and my kind; loving and caring friendship was the path. I jumped off. XBFF was not worth it but was right about the statement I have to admit. I'm much happier.
In this case the junk food is the hell; guilt, stress and any kind of emotional upheaval is the path to it. Let's jump the heck off! If at first you don't succeed try try again. Get off the path. Figure out a better plan and go to a better place. Easier said than done I know, to use another cliche. But give it your best. Sometimes your best is there tomorrow. No need to feel guilt. Don't we have enough stress? I mean the name of the Blog is "KEEP FIGHTING fatty" for a reason. Isn't that actually the answer too; plain and simple? We have to keep trying until we achieve our goal.
On that note I'm going to sign off and jump in the shower. Remember: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will be that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having fun. Stay positive...were ALL in the same boat...let's do it together. See you tomorrow. ;-)
There is a party every day this week at work; between the birthdays and the co worker leaving to have her baby. It's a difficult task but so far I'm holding strong. I was talking to one of my fellow workers about the diet and the blog. She is coming on to have a look and I think that's just great.
Later she walked by me with a plate heaped with junk food from the party. When she saw me her facial expression changed drastically. I smiled at her. I recognised it because I've worn the look myself so many times in my life for the same reason. She felt odd about having just finished the diet conversation and then eating all of the junk. Guilt.
That's not what I want. That's not who I am. I'm not here to make anyone; not even myself feel guilty. It has absolutely no purpose in bringing us closer to our goal. I encourage you to try but I'm still 100% behind you if you don't succeed right out of the gate. I have tried and failed and tried and failed more times than I can count. It happens to the best of us.
To quote an XBFF "the pathway to hell is paved with good intentions." In that scenario XBFF was hell and my kind; loving and caring friendship was the path. I jumped off. XBFF was not worth it but was right about the statement I have to admit. I'm much happier.
In this case the junk food is the hell; guilt, stress and any kind of emotional upheaval is the path to it. Let's jump the heck off! If at first you don't succeed try try again. Get off the path. Figure out a better plan and go to a better place. Easier said than done I know, to use another cliche. But give it your best. Sometimes your best is there tomorrow. No need to feel guilt. Don't we have enough stress? I mean the name of the Blog is "KEEP FIGHTING fatty" for a reason. Isn't that actually the answer too; plain and simple? We have to keep trying until we achieve our goal.
On that note I'm going to sign off and jump in the shower. Remember: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will be that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having fun. Stay positive...were ALL in the same boat...let's do it together. See you tomorrow. ;-)
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
September 22, 2009 Diet Blog
So another tough day...I'm not sure if it was tough because of the day itself or because I feel 'less than.' It may be a combination of both. I'm trying to pull myself out of the tailspin that is creating in my head with my self esteem but I'm finding it so difficult. I had the weight control Oatmeal for breakfast, a plumb for snack, which was very difficult because of the party goodies laid out at work for one co-worker's birthday and another's pending baby birth. The goodies were mountainous...all BAD for my diet. I held strong. I had a croissant and fruit for lunch, lite n fit yogurt for snack, chicken breast green beans and one small Pillsbury roll with no butter for dinner. I clung to the diet by my fingernails but I did it. I'm giving myself a mental pat on the back because I really deserve one.
Today I promised anonymous persons from the check out line at the grocery store that I would discuss a delicate subject. I cannot believe this is what the crowd that gathered around me decided to talk about when a woman asked me how I liked the Smart Ones. How did the conversation go from that to this? I don't know. Of course I do like the Smart Ones and said so as well as recommended several of my favorites. We got to talking about dieting and several other 'waiting' people on the line chimed in. The subject, you ask? Flatulence. Nope...I'm NOT kidding... this happens to me all the time...people tell me their life stories and all kinds of things...my family thinks it's hilareous. They are usually laughing very hard as they dismiss themselves from the area feining no knowledge of the crazy psyciatrist. I can't blame them.
Yes. When dieting it seems like 'gas' happens more frequently. I agreed.
It is my given opinion that since you are putting more fruits, vegetables and good things in your body, that your body has to learn to process them. It also occurred to me that perhaps toxins of some sort are being forced out. Since there wasn't one member in the entire crowd that had formed that did not share this experience I promised to mention it on this blog. I too have experienced this. I think from this new found knowledge, that flatulence is indeed normal when one begins putting the right things into their body.
One man wondered if any of the bloating/gas type of over-the-counter things would help to fix it. My opinion is ask your doctor. I only know my body and it's not so bad that I need to refer to any medicine intake, but you know you. If it is that bad I would always say to see a doctor before ingesting any kind of medication what so ever. That's the soundest advice I can give regarding this delicate subject. Thankfully the line moved before getting any deeper into the colon area if you get my drift- but about that let me just add again: you know you. If somethings not correct you don't need me to tell you what you already know. See a doctor.
I'm happy to report that my clothes fit very comfortably today. It was kind of nice. They aren't falling off but I'm not being cut in half and the button on the pants isn't digging into my belly. It was nice. It may not sound like much but for me it was a sure sign that I'm on the right track and it means a lot right now. When the going gets tough....and IT HAS BEEN TOUGH LATELY...the tough get going. I'm going to do this. Were going to do this. Were going to do it together. I'm weighing in only once a month...the numbers depress me and I know me well enough to know that I don't want it nor can I handle it while juggling all of the current stress on my plate- so to speak. I promise to post it regardless of the outcome. As it has been said: You don't have to see the whole staircase to take the first step... so I say start climbing...but do it for yourself!
On that note let me continue to drill this into you: You look the best that you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! See you tomorrow. ;-)
Today I promised anonymous persons from the check out line at the grocery store that I would discuss a delicate subject. I cannot believe this is what the crowd that gathered around me decided to talk about when a woman asked me how I liked the Smart Ones. How did the conversation go from that to this? I don't know. Of course I do like the Smart Ones and said so as well as recommended several of my favorites. We got to talking about dieting and several other 'waiting' people on the line chimed in. The subject, you ask? Flatulence. Nope...I'm NOT kidding... this happens to me all the time...people tell me their life stories and all kinds of things...my family thinks it's hilareous. They are usually laughing very hard as they dismiss themselves from the area feining no knowledge of the crazy psyciatrist. I can't blame them.
Yes. When dieting it seems like 'gas' happens more frequently. I agreed.
It is my given opinion that since you are putting more fruits, vegetables and good things in your body, that your body has to learn to process them. It also occurred to me that perhaps toxins of some sort are being forced out. Since there wasn't one member in the entire crowd that had formed that did not share this experience I promised to mention it on this blog. I too have experienced this. I think from this new found knowledge, that flatulence is indeed normal when one begins putting the right things into their body.
One man wondered if any of the bloating/gas type of over-the-counter things would help to fix it. My opinion is ask your doctor. I only know my body and it's not so bad that I need to refer to any medicine intake, but you know you. If it is that bad I would always say to see a doctor before ingesting any kind of medication what so ever. That's the soundest advice I can give regarding this delicate subject. Thankfully the line moved before getting any deeper into the colon area if you get my drift- but about that let me just add again: you know you. If somethings not correct you don't need me to tell you what you already know. See a doctor.
I'm happy to report that my clothes fit very comfortably today. It was kind of nice. They aren't falling off but I'm not being cut in half and the button on the pants isn't digging into my belly. It was nice. It may not sound like much but for me it was a sure sign that I'm on the right track and it means a lot right now. When the going gets tough....and IT HAS BEEN TOUGH LATELY...the tough get going. I'm going to do this. Were going to do this. Were going to do it together. I'm weighing in only once a month...the numbers depress me and I know me well enough to know that I don't want it nor can I handle it while juggling all of the current stress on my plate- so to speak. I promise to post it regardless of the outcome. As it has been said: You don't have to see the whole staircase to take the first step... so I say start climbing...but do it for yourself!
On that note let me continue to drill this into you: You look the best that you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! See you tomorrow. ;-)
Monday, September 21, 2009
September 21, 2009 Diet Blog
It's been such a long day. I was so tired this morning. I didn't sleep well. I couldn't turn my brain off. I dragged through my morning routine. I made a weight control Oatmeal for breakfast but forgot to eat it, so I ate my 10 am snack, which was grapes for breakfast with 6 of those silver dollar sized rice cakes. Lunch was a Smart Ones and carrot sticks, and I did without the 3pm snack. For dinner I made lamb chops and rice pilaf. I had a regular, not over sized portion of each.
I went on face book this morning to find that a friend had dropped me. It was a shock. I wouldn't have known it except that I had a job for them and was going to message them about it. I saw them just last week and they were so pleased to be my friend on face book and had always wrote that. I'm not sure what happened there so I wrote and asked. They didn't respond and my feelings are a little hurt. The job went to someone else too.
I dragged myself through the morning telling myself to let it go. It'll be fine. It wasn't a BFF- not even close...it just was weird. My young BFF contacted me and told me that everything went well with her older 'friend.'(Again I use the term very loosely.... but it went well and she was feeling better about things.)
That is part of what kept me up all night; how he's been treating her awfully for months now...me too for that matter. I don't understand why, but it played on my nerves last night. To compound the feelings of 'less than' that I'd been struggling through I found out that someone that has only been at my place of employment for a couple of months got the job that I had put in for. It's not that I wanted the job so bad and I understand that this was done because replacing me right now is not something that can be done, but that's twice now. The hiring freeze won't allow my job to be replaced so they have to pull folks from other positions. At least I hope it's really that. It's not fair...life's not fair though; I'm an expert on that subject. I believe that when God closes a door, he opens a window though. I guess I just haven't found the correct window yet.
I dropped things all day, banged myself up, got frustrated...I'm just so glad that this day is nearly over. I didn't cry. Maybe I should've.
Tonight was Body Conditioning class. I handed in the first program I had to write and of course; low and behold; a pop quiz... of course there was a quiz...it only fit with the theme of the day. I cannot believe that my 4.0 is going to be ruined because of a gym class; a one credit gym class! Maybe I did okay...I just don't know.
I did not cheat on the diet. I was so depressed that I wasn't even hungry. That's a first for me. The one thing I never drop or lose is my appetite. One thing that did come up was with one of my coworkers. She did great all weekend with the exception of one tiny Halloween treat sized bag of Reese's Pieces. She didn't need to hear that she'd done bad because of that. Clearly she was beating herself up enough. I just said if you are lessening your intake of junk food you are on the right track. It could've been so much worse. She agreed.
On that note let me just say that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow will be that much better. Don't let your perception of your body stand in the way of your having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow. ;-)
I went on face book this morning to find that a friend had dropped me. It was a shock. I wouldn't have known it except that I had a job for them and was going to message them about it. I saw them just last week and they were so pleased to be my friend on face book and had always wrote that. I'm not sure what happened there so I wrote and asked. They didn't respond and my feelings are a little hurt. The job went to someone else too.
I dragged myself through the morning telling myself to let it go. It'll be fine. It wasn't a BFF- not even close...it just was weird. My young BFF contacted me and told me that everything went well with her older 'friend.'(Again I use the term very loosely.... but it went well and she was feeling better about things.)
That is part of what kept me up all night; how he's been treating her awfully for months now...me too for that matter. I don't understand why, but it played on my nerves last night. To compound the feelings of 'less than' that I'd been struggling through I found out that someone that has only been at my place of employment for a couple of months got the job that I had put in for. It's not that I wanted the job so bad and I understand that this was done because replacing me right now is not something that can be done, but that's twice now. The hiring freeze won't allow my job to be replaced so they have to pull folks from other positions. At least I hope it's really that. It's not fair...life's not fair though; I'm an expert on that subject. I believe that when God closes a door, he opens a window though. I guess I just haven't found the correct window yet.
I dropped things all day, banged myself up, got frustrated...I'm just so glad that this day is nearly over. I didn't cry. Maybe I should've.
Tonight was Body Conditioning class. I handed in the first program I had to write and of course; low and behold; a pop quiz... of course there was a quiz...it only fit with the theme of the day. I cannot believe that my 4.0 is going to be ruined because of a gym class; a one credit gym class! Maybe I did okay...I just don't know.
I did not cheat on the diet. I was so depressed that I wasn't even hungry. That's a first for me. The one thing I never drop or lose is my appetite. One thing that did come up was with one of my coworkers. She did great all weekend with the exception of one tiny Halloween treat sized bag of Reese's Pieces. She didn't need to hear that she'd done bad because of that. Clearly she was beating herself up enough. I just said if you are lessening your intake of junk food you are on the right track. It could've been so much worse. She agreed.
On that note let me just say that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow will be that much better. Don't let your perception of your body stand in the way of your having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow. ;-)
Sunday, September 20, 2009
September 20, 2009 Diet Blog
My husband left early this morning for a diving excursion with our son, our son's best man and several friends. That left me time for a little bit of laziness this morning and so I lounged around in bed until 10 am or so. For breakfast I enjoyed cheerios (about a cup and a half) in 2% milk. Then I sat down and wrote the aerobic program that was my homework for Body Conditioning Class. That took awhile. Afterwards I went onto face book for awhile to touch base with all of my friends. Lunch was at 1pm. It was a smart One's pizza.
For some reason I reflected upon the past year or so. There are regrets and kudos both. I was sick for the first part of the year. My son married. I turned 50. My 25th wedding anniversary is Nov. 4th and my first novel comes out sometime this fall. That's the big stuff. There were lost friendships, renewed friendships, new life, sad deaths, illnesses and marriages... there was much hurt...and some happiness too.
It was a beautiful 'Indian summer' day and so I got in the car and drove myself to the karate school I had worked in; played in; learned about life in; and built my surrogate family from. It was as if I never left. I love and miss them all so much. I forget sometimes just how much they mean to me. I spent the entire afternoon there among those I am like. It's a different world inside that hallowed place. It still holds it's own piece of my heart.
I stopped at my BFF's house to see how her husband was doing. He had knee surgery. You may remember that he was the one on that diet with the beads behind the ear. He jumped off the diet ship. He lost 22 pounds quickly but gained some back already. It wasn't a shock to me. That was clearly a starvation diet. There is no way anyone can convince me that it was healthy not to mention that there is NO WAY anyone could claim that to be a lifestyle. Also the expense was astronomical to say the least. I think we've got the right idea here. We all know what to do...we just need to step up and do it. Doing it together is the way to go.
My young BFF called today. You may remember that I described her as the closest thing I've ever had to a daughter with the one exception of my new daughter-in-law. It was nice to hear from her. She is seeing an older "friend" of hers (and I use that term VERY loosely for personal reasons, which are both hers and mine). Anyway, I miss her terribly and knowing that situation is happening tonight left my mind reeling with guilt for not telling her how I feel and the reason why.
For dinner I had a Smart Ones dinner and green beans. For snack I had a lite n fit yogurt. I stuck to my diet but I reflected so much about the past that I actually find myself depressed. I fought myself at dinner not to break my stride. I'm happy to report that I was successful in maintaining my 'roll' diet wise.
And so that was the day. It's over. My husband is home and were going to hang out together. He is very excited to tell me about the dive with our son. He just loves those. They are rare as our son is grown, married, an engineer by day and a college professor by night and taking classes toward his Master's degree in between all of that...sigh...he is clearly my child. The apple really fell right next to the tree...thank heaven.
On that note I will remind you, and myself: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow. ;-)
For some reason I reflected upon the past year or so. There are regrets and kudos both. I was sick for the first part of the year. My son married. I turned 50. My 25th wedding anniversary is Nov. 4th and my first novel comes out sometime this fall. That's the big stuff. There were lost friendships, renewed friendships, new life, sad deaths, illnesses and marriages... there was much hurt...and some happiness too.
It was a beautiful 'Indian summer' day and so I got in the car and drove myself to the karate school I had worked in; played in; learned about life in; and built my surrogate family from. It was as if I never left. I love and miss them all so much. I forget sometimes just how much they mean to me. I spent the entire afternoon there among those I am like. It's a different world inside that hallowed place. It still holds it's own piece of my heart.
I stopped at my BFF's house to see how her husband was doing. He had knee surgery. You may remember that he was the one on that diet with the beads behind the ear. He jumped off the diet ship. He lost 22 pounds quickly but gained some back already. It wasn't a shock to me. That was clearly a starvation diet. There is no way anyone can convince me that it was healthy not to mention that there is NO WAY anyone could claim that to be a lifestyle. Also the expense was astronomical to say the least. I think we've got the right idea here. We all know what to do...we just need to step up and do it. Doing it together is the way to go.
My young BFF called today. You may remember that I described her as the closest thing I've ever had to a daughter with the one exception of my new daughter-in-law. It was nice to hear from her. She is seeing an older "friend" of hers (and I use that term VERY loosely for personal reasons, which are both hers and mine). Anyway, I miss her terribly and knowing that situation is happening tonight left my mind reeling with guilt for not telling her how I feel and the reason why.
For dinner I had a Smart Ones dinner and green beans. For snack I had a lite n fit yogurt. I stuck to my diet but I reflected so much about the past that I actually find myself depressed. I fought myself at dinner not to break my stride. I'm happy to report that I was successful in maintaining my 'roll' diet wise.
And so that was the day. It's over. My husband is home and were going to hang out together. He is very excited to tell me about the dive with our son. He just loves those. They are rare as our son is grown, married, an engineer by day and a college professor by night and taking classes toward his Master's degree in between all of that...sigh...he is clearly my child. The apple really fell right next to the tree...thank heaven.
On that note I will remind you, and myself: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow. ;-)
Saturday, September 19, 2009
September 19, 2009
Today was a day of surprises. I ran into an old friend while I was shopping for a wedding gift, we went to his house together where he wife was putting together a garage sale. It was my first time seeing the house and the last time I saw the couple was at their wedding in the beginning of summer so it was nice. I could not make the registry computers work at Macy's or at Target where the couple is registered so I ended up buying $50 gift certificated from each, a bottle of expensive champagne and a card to give them. When we got to the actual party there were people there that I haven't seen for ages. It was wonderful!
The only thing I had all day was a Smart Ones pizza before the party. At the party I ate tiny portions of each thing that I liked and a salad. I had one bite of the desert and that was it. I had two small glasses of white wine and I'm so very proud of myself. I was so well behaved, not that it was easy.
This blog will be short because I'm very tired from the festivities but I wanted to let you know that it CAN be done; even at an occasion like this one where you sat at your table and ate the entire time. (The bride is Greek. The feast was out of this world!) My son n daughter in law were there with us. It was such a wondrous, happy evening.
Remember: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow...;-)
The only thing I had all day was a Smart Ones pizza before the party. At the party I ate tiny portions of each thing that I liked and a salad. I had one bite of the desert and that was it. I had two small glasses of white wine and I'm so very proud of myself. I was so well behaved, not that it was easy.
This blog will be short because I'm very tired from the festivities but I wanted to let you know that it CAN be done; even at an occasion like this one where you sat at your table and ate the entire time. (The bride is Greek. The feast was out of this world!) My son n daughter in law were there with us. It was such a wondrous, happy evening.
Remember: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow...;-)
Friday, September 18, 2009
September 18, 2009
Today was a much better day than yesterday. I woke up and told the girl in the mirror to take a deep breath, smile and things would be better. Then I promised her I'd make sure they were. You may remember that I mentioned sending a joke to a friend but that I was pretty sure they'd know who sent it. They did! It was the first text this morning as I arrived at work and it began my day on a note of laughter. I'm glad texts aren't videos. I laughed so hard I turned red. The girls cracked up. So much so that I was forced to explain....
We were inundated with clients but the work day went smoothly. My coworkers and I shared a few minutes of banter about dieting. One of the girls went to a nutritionist and has lost 30 pounds. She is doing well but feeling the 'pull' of real food in real portions. It's hard but you can actually see the weight loss on her now. She looks good.
Another had gone on a diet where she was given the prepackaged foods and told what to eat and when. It lasted just under three weeks. She jumped ship. I saw that coming. She works in the cafeteria upstairs from me. Pre-packaged foods did not fit her life style.
One thing that came up made me sit up and take notice. Once again I was astonished at the reality of the fact that I am not alone. This person had lost a lot of weight and has been on her diet for quite awhile now. She said that she'd had 2 slices of pizza, and had been allowed that on her calorie count. She then found herself in a position of being almost paranoid that she'd had the pizza. Had she had too much? Was she sure of the count? She got herself all worked up and worried over it and caused herself Agata.
Another girl mentioned that she kept telling herself to lose 5 pounds by this date or ten pounds by this date; all acceptable losses. Still she failed-failed-failed! I suggested that she use another method. Put out an article of clothing and head towards fitting into it comfortably. Take it one day at a time or three days at a time; try something like that I said. She liked the idea.
Another thing that came up was beating ourselves up after making the wrong choice. Beating ourselves up- and I'm guilty of that too- doesn't accomplish a thing. It doesn't undo the mistake or even burn up the darn calories. It's best to let it go and move forward. I know that's a little sentence with a huge and difficult meaning but I'm also going to give that a try.
My Blairstown BFF is coming up again to sing. She had a rough two days at work and needs a little friend-like TLC with the girls. I'm going to go with her. It'll make both of us feel better. She's on her way now.
I have a wedding to go to tomorrow. I'm anxious about it. I want to stay the course. I'm on a roll. I want it to continue.
For breakfast today I had a light n fit yogurt. For snack I had the rice cakes. For lunch I had Smart Ones dinner and carrot sticks. For 3pm snack I had a plumb. For dinner I had the left over multi grain noodles in sauce. I'm doing great!
On that note let me remind you...and myself because I fussed over outfits tonight and I still feel fat and ugly...you look the best that you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Don't let your perception of your body stand in the way of your having a good time. Stay positive. I'm still working on these things too. See you tomorrow. ;-)
We were inundated with clients but the work day went smoothly. My coworkers and I shared a few minutes of banter about dieting. One of the girls went to a nutritionist and has lost 30 pounds. She is doing well but feeling the 'pull' of real food in real portions. It's hard but you can actually see the weight loss on her now. She looks good.
Another had gone on a diet where she was given the prepackaged foods and told what to eat and when. It lasted just under three weeks. She jumped ship. I saw that coming. She works in the cafeteria upstairs from me. Pre-packaged foods did not fit her life style.
One thing that came up made me sit up and take notice. Once again I was astonished at the reality of the fact that I am not alone. This person had lost a lot of weight and has been on her diet for quite awhile now. She said that she'd had 2 slices of pizza, and had been allowed that on her calorie count. She then found herself in a position of being almost paranoid that she'd had the pizza. Had she had too much? Was she sure of the count? She got herself all worked up and worried over it and caused herself Agata.
Another girl mentioned that she kept telling herself to lose 5 pounds by this date or ten pounds by this date; all acceptable losses. Still she failed-failed-failed! I suggested that she use another method. Put out an article of clothing and head towards fitting into it comfortably. Take it one day at a time or three days at a time; try something like that I said. She liked the idea.
Another thing that came up was beating ourselves up after making the wrong choice. Beating ourselves up- and I'm guilty of that too- doesn't accomplish a thing. It doesn't undo the mistake or even burn up the darn calories. It's best to let it go and move forward. I know that's a little sentence with a huge and difficult meaning but I'm also going to give that a try.
My Blairstown BFF is coming up again to sing. She had a rough two days at work and needs a little friend-like TLC with the girls. I'm going to go with her. It'll make both of us feel better. She's on her way now.
I have a wedding to go to tomorrow. I'm anxious about it. I want to stay the course. I'm on a roll. I want it to continue.
For breakfast today I had a light n fit yogurt. For snack I had the rice cakes. For lunch I had Smart Ones dinner and carrot sticks. For 3pm snack I had a plumb. For dinner I had the left over multi grain noodles in sauce. I'm doing great!
On that note let me remind you...and myself because I fussed over outfits tonight and I still feel fat and ugly...you look the best that you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Don't let your perception of your body stand in the way of your having a good time. Stay positive. I'm still working on these things too. See you tomorrow. ;-)
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Setember 17. 2009 Diet Blog
Today began as any other September day would've. It's getting colder and the days seem as if they are getting shorter. The air in my bedroom was cool and crawling out from under my nice cozy covers was completely unappealing to me.
I woke up famished. I had weight control oatmeal to curb that. For snack I had a weight watchers chocolate cake. The ones worth one point according to the package. Just before lunch the lovely day took a turn for the worse and went from a leisurely twenty five mph to ninety in a split second. It was an awful, stressful day from that point. I went to the ladies room to try and gather myself. There is a full length mirror in there. I got a glance of myself from the side view. It was an awful moment. The frontal wasn't much better. I just wanted to cry. I took a couple of deep breaths, pasted a fake smile on and went back into the trenches.
For lunch I had Smart One's and carrot sticks. For 3pm snack I had a plumb and longed for my pillow and blanket so I could pull it over my head and hide from the world. I couldn't take it anymore. It was way beyond my ability to deal with and maintain composure. I did- but I do not know how. I was totally in tatters within myself; a serious mess in my head....By the time I was on my way home I was on a collision course with what normally would've been a diet disaster.
Luckily I know this about myself and knew I had to do something to avoid it. I formulated a battle plan in the car on the way. I had to run interference or risk going backwards and spiraling out of control. I've worked hard and I just didn't want that to be the outcome. I turned on happy music in my car. My husband had burned me a CD with the songs I will be adding to my karaoke repertoire and I played it and sang to it all of the way home. I wanted to turn my thoughts from negative into positive ones. I was semi successful. Once inside my home I went directly to my computer and read my face book until it was time to prepare dinner. I got my mind occupied on a different task that way.
I chose a quick and easy meal, that is a favorite of mine. 'Noodles and Sauce,' made with multi grain noodles and low fat sauce was the choice. I knew it was filling. I wanted that sensation to deter eating any more if I could get it. I ate the correct amount. I felt satisfied but the war within myself waged on.
My husband had to leave to go teach his scuba certification class and that left me in a very bad place too. I was no longer hungry but I use food to comfort and sooth my frayed nerves normally; that is especially true if I am alone. I am much more vulnerable when I feel isolated. In fact I did fill the plate another time but instead of eating even a bite of it I pulled the fork out, put it in the sink and covered the plate for another time. I consciously forced myself to do it. I felt weak though. I scrambled around inside of my own head until the 'idea light bulb' appeared for the rescue. I dialed my son. Lord- I needed to talk to my boy. It grounded me.
I told him about my day and he told me about his. He got a raise at work without asking. He's teaching the other employees some new aspect of engineering...he's doing amazing. Somehow I felt better. Situation diverted. The battle won...at least for now. Later I did have a lite n fit yogurt. I enjoyed it immensely.
I tell you all of that for obvious reasons. Stress and raw emotion can lead to the breakdown in an otherwise perfect diet plan or routine. I came up with the plan on the fly as each new branch of the problem surfaced, but the point is that it was done consciously. The choice was mine even though it didn't feel like it. For me, everything felt out of control. I had to take the control back. Isn't that what we are ultimately trying to do here? Control might actually be the secret to breaking the code of the diet roller coaster ride forever; my question is how do we keep control though? My guess is one day at a time; one hour at a time; one minute at a time; one second at a time. Whatever it takes to get the goal met for us. I'll keep you posted as always.
I'll end on that note telling you what I know we do have control of here: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of your having a good time. Stay positive. Have a good night. See you tomorrow. ;-)
I woke up famished. I had weight control oatmeal to curb that. For snack I had a weight watchers chocolate cake. The ones worth one point according to the package. Just before lunch the lovely day took a turn for the worse and went from a leisurely twenty five mph to ninety in a split second. It was an awful, stressful day from that point. I went to the ladies room to try and gather myself. There is a full length mirror in there. I got a glance of myself from the side view. It was an awful moment. The frontal wasn't much better. I just wanted to cry. I took a couple of deep breaths, pasted a fake smile on and went back into the trenches.
For lunch I had Smart One's and carrot sticks. For 3pm snack I had a plumb and longed for my pillow and blanket so I could pull it over my head and hide from the world. I couldn't take it anymore. It was way beyond my ability to deal with and maintain composure. I did- but I do not know how. I was totally in tatters within myself; a serious mess in my head....By the time I was on my way home I was on a collision course with what normally would've been a diet disaster.
Luckily I know this about myself and knew I had to do something to avoid it. I formulated a battle plan in the car on the way. I had to run interference or risk going backwards and spiraling out of control. I've worked hard and I just didn't want that to be the outcome. I turned on happy music in my car. My husband had burned me a CD with the songs I will be adding to my karaoke repertoire and I played it and sang to it all of the way home. I wanted to turn my thoughts from negative into positive ones. I was semi successful. Once inside my home I went directly to my computer and read my face book until it was time to prepare dinner. I got my mind occupied on a different task that way.
I chose a quick and easy meal, that is a favorite of mine. 'Noodles and Sauce,' made with multi grain noodles and low fat sauce was the choice. I knew it was filling. I wanted that sensation to deter eating any more if I could get it. I ate the correct amount. I felt satisfied but the war within myself waged on.
My husband had to leave to go teach his scuba certification class and that left me in a very bad place too. I was no longer hungry but I use food to comfort and sooth my frayed nerves normally; that is especially true if I am alone. I am much more vulnerable when I feel isolated. In fact I did fill the plate another time but instead of eating even a bite of it I pulled the fork out, put it in the sink and covered the plate for another time. I consciously forced myself to do it. I felt weak though. I scrambled around inside of my own head until the 'idea light bulb' appeared for the rescue. I dialed my son. Lord- I needed to talk to my boy. It grounded me.
I told him about my day and he told me about his. He got a raise at work without asking. He's teaching the other employees some new aspect of engineering...he's doing amazing. Somehow I felt better. Situation diverted. The battle won...at least for now. Later I did have a lite n fit yogurt. I enjoyed it immensely.
I tell you all of that for obvious reasons. Stress and raw emotion can lead to the breakdown in an otherwise perfect diet plan or routine. I came up with the plan on the fly as each new branch of the problem surfaced, but the point is that it was done consciously. The choice was mine even though it didn't feel like it. For me, everything felt out of control. I had to take the control back. Isn't that what we are ultimately trying to do here? Control might actually be the secret to breaking the code of the diet roller coaster ride forever; my question is how do we keep control though? My guess is one day at a time; one hour at a time; one minute at a time; one second at a time. Whatever it takes to get the goal met for us. I'll keep you posted as always.
I'll end on that note telling you what I know we do have control of here: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of your having a good time. Stay positive. Have a good night. See you tomorrow. ;-)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
September 16 Diet BLog Part 2
The other post published itself before I wanted to so I'll continue here. I couldn't proof read-spell check or anything because of that. I'm not sure why it is happening but I will continue to try and learn as I go about this blogging so I can do it right, I promise. Bear with me in the meantime please.
What I was going to add is that there are many different diets out there; Many different methods. Dolly Parton, who I adore 'takes whats hers and leaves the rest for the angels.' Her whole weight loss was based on that one statement. It worked for her. She looks amazing. There are surgery's, which for me I'm against- but I'm not that person. We have success stories and huge failures regarding that surgery at work because like every other diet maintenance is required once the goal is reached. The maintenance is the hardest part of dieting I'm told. I think that statement is true. I've won the dieting battle before but have never been able to hold it. The point though, is to do what is right for you. The other point is to post it in the comments because maybe it can help another.
I'll sign off on that note reminding you that you look as good as you can for today; tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow.;-)
What I was going to add is that there are many different diets out there; Many different methods. Dolly Parton, who I adore 'takes whats hers and leaves the rest for the angels.' Her whole weight loss was based on that one statement. It worked for her. She looks amazing. There are surgery's, which for me I'm against- but I'm not that person. We have success stories and huge failures regarding that surgery at work because like every other diet maintenance is required once the goal is reached. The maintenance is the hardest part of dieting I'm told. I think that statement is true. I've won the dieting battle before but have never been able to hold it. The point though, is to do what is right for you. The other point is to post it in the comments because maybe it can help another.
I'll sign off on that note reminding you that you look as good as you can for today; tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow.;-)
September 16, 2009 Diet Blog
Today is the anniversary of my daughter's death. She was 2 days short of four months when she died. She would be 20 now. I held it in my heart and silently went through the day. I pretended that it was a day like any other. I'm pretty sure no one knew... well, almost no one knew. I knew. I told you I would tell you what was going on with me in order to help myself and you develope battle plans as the need arises. It's been 20 years. I still do not have a battle plan for this. The years gone by have made it easier and I know she is with me but ...I just never got over missing her so much.
For my diet, this and her birthdate are the worst. I want to crawl into a vat of chocolate with my mouth open. Chocolate is my drug of choice. I did not do that, or anything resembling that but I did have some of the Chocolate Quaker rice cakes for dessert tonight. I just feel so alone sometimes.
That being said, the day wasn't bad. I did a nice thing for someone today. It was an annonymous act so I can't tell you all about it, but it did my heart good to play a role in making another person happy. I did the same thing on Monday, only that was more in the form of a joke to make someone I care about laugh. I'm fairly sure that they will know who did it. I'm also positive that it will bring a smile to their face. So I felt pretty good about that.
I also sent the link to this Blog to Dr. Oz. I mentioned him in yesterday's Blog because he was on 106.7 Lite FM the other day. Sadly, yesterdays blog evaporated into the eithers of computer land. I'm sorry about that. I have no idea of how to retrieve it from the server of the blog computer so I can't get it but if I refer to any of it, I will explain as I go. Anyway, I think it would be 'cool' if Dr. Oz checked us out on here, maybe added a comment ot two now and again...
I'm also going to send it to the Ruby Show. She's lost an astronomical amount of weight. It would be excellent to get her take on this idea! I'll keep you posted if I hear anything from any of the above items.
The second body conditioning class was tonight. The teacher had a body fat measuring device. We were supposed to measure our body fat with everyone standing around. I was duelly horrified and prayed for the floor to open up and swallow mw or for aliens to beam me aboard...anything to get out of it. It didn't happen. While awaiting my turn, filled with anxiety over it the person behind me; a tall thin buff kind of guy; complained that he didn't want to do it on display like that. In fact several people moaned and groaned about doing it at all. I turned to the group and clearly gave them the advice to get behind me in line if they felt that way. The questioning, confused looks on their faces were priceless. I then clearly stated with a shrug, 'The damn thing will blow up when my turn comes and the rest of you won't have to worry about it.' Well, the entire class cracked up including the instructor and I left with everyone knowing who I was and wanting to work together. Life is good. I may be the fattest, oldest one in the class- but I'm still me.
I think as far as dieting and excersise go, we have to take that attitude. We have to be us. What works for someone else might or might not work for us but it's always good to listen. Let your own personality work with what you are doing. I'm one to lighten the load with a quip. It's usually me referring to myself...sadly there is MUCH to work with in this area. If that's not your thing figure out what is and go with it. This has got to fit your lifestyle; your needs; you. It's not a one size fits all kind of thing.
For my diet, this and her birthdate are the worst. I want to crawl into a vat of chocolate with my mouth open. Chocolate is my drug of choice. I did not do that, or anything resembling that but I did have some of the Chocolate Quaker rice cakes for dessert tonight. I just feel so alone sometimes.
That being said, the day wasn't bad. I did a nice thing for someone today. It was an annonymous act so I can't tell you all about it, but it did my heart good to play a role in making another person happy. I did the same thing on Monday, only that was more in the form of a joke to make someone I care about laugh. I'm fairly sure that they will know who did it. I'm also positive that it will bring a smile to their face. So I felt pretty good about that.
I also sent the link to this Blog to Dr. Oz. I mentioned him in yesterday's Blog because he was on 106.7 Lite FM the other day. Sadly, yesterdays blog evaporated into the eithers of computer land. I'm sorry about that. I have no idea of how to retrieve it from the server of the blog computer so I can't get it but if I refer to any of it, I will explain as I go. Anyway, I think it would be 'cool' if Dr. Oz checked us out on here, maybe added a comment ot two now and again...
I'm also going to send it to the Ruby Show. She's lost an astronomical amount of weight. It would be excellent to get her take on this idea! I'll keep you posted if I hear anything from any of the above items.
The second body conditioning class was tonight. The teacher had a body fat measuring device. We were supposed to measure our body fat with everyone standing around. I was duelly horrified and prayed for the floor to open up and swallow mw or for aliens to beam me aboard...anything to get out of it. It didn't happen. While awaiting my turn, filled with anxiety over it the person behind me; a tall thin buff kind of guy; complained that he didn't want to do it on display like that. In fact several people moaned and groaned about doing it at all. I turned to the group and clearly gave them the advice to get behind me in line if they felt that way. The questioning, confused looks on their faces were priceless. I then clearly stated with a shrug, 'The damn thing will blow up when my turn comes and the rest of you won't have to worry about it.' Well, the entire class cracked up including the instructor and I left with everyone knowing who I was and wanting to work together. Life is good. I may be the fattest, oldest one in the class- but I'm still me.
I think as far as dieting and excersise go, we have to take that attitude. We have to be us. What works for someone else might or might not work for us but it's always good to listen. Let your own personality work with what you are doing. I'm one to lighten the load with a quip. It's usually me referring to myself...sadly there is MUCH to work with in this area. If that's not your thing figure out what is and go with it. This has got to fit your lifestyle; your needs; you. It's not a one size fits all kind of thing.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
September 15, 2009
Today was quite a day. My body aches a bit from the Body Conditioning class but I'm overflowing with confidence for some reason. Maybe it's those 'happy' endorphins that your brain triggers because of exercise that we spoke about yesterday. I told myself this morning that I am doing a good job. I'm not sure if my reflection heard it or not because my stomach was growling so loudly. I woke up starving!
I had a package of the weight control cinnamon oatmeal because there was no way fruit alone would curb the hunger and I didn't want to cheat. It worked but by 10am I was hungry again. I had watermelon chunks. For lunch I finished off the roast chicken with leftover corn and green bean from yesterday's dinner. 3pm snack was the Quaker chocolate silver dollar sized rice cakes and dinner was two left over lamb chops and the rest of the corn and green beans. I did great! I drank all of my water too obviously. I walked around thinking 'who I am.' That is a great feeling.
On Lite Fm 106.7 the radio show they talked about dieting. It seems that Dr, Oz was on the show yesterday. He is an expert on nutrition and exercise. They talked about a study that said curling up on the sofa instead of exercising was a better stress release. Apparently Dr. Oz had vehemently disagreed. There was also woman on the show that he's going to have on his television show. She represents Americans he said. She'd quit smoking, gained a ton of weight, got depressed and ended up on medication after medication, which has only made things worse for her. Poor thing, I thought. I hope he can help her.
A co-worker of mine quit smoking and went from a size six to her body type now. I think she is about a twelve but I'm not sure. I'm much larger so twelve would be welcome for me. Anyway, she swears that it was the quitting smoking that did it to her. She also adds that she is glad that she quit though. It's a real issue. I've never smoked but can understand to a degree. Literally, one habit was replaced with another.
Another girl is on a glutton free diet for medical reasons. One of the security gaurds asked her if she was pregnant today. She was so upset. When she explained to the officer that she was not having a baby, the officer told her how much weight she had gained since they last saw one another. This officer was not thin by any stretch of the imagination; in fact much larger than my non-pregnant co-worker. I think it may have been a case of misery loves company. The officer really hurt her feelings. Her self esteem hit the skids. Why do people do that? What sadistic pleasure did she get by compounding the first statement with the second one? I felt so bad for her as she told me what the officer had said. I gave the advice to let it go. It's the officer's problem not hers and to give it back to the officer. That is a hard thing to do though. I'm an expert. Many things have been said about my weight. It's funny though, no matter what size my butt has been over the years my heart size hasn't changed at all. Shame on them. You don't kick a person when their down...you offer love, compassion, understanding and assistance... but that may just be me...I'm really invested in the subject.
I also did something a little crazy. I purchased two outfits two sizes smaller than I am now. I'm going to use them as my first goal. I don't want my goal to be a number. That is something that has triggered more tears for me than it hasn't over the years. I think I'm going to set my goals small and in the category of pretty clothes.
We talked about so many diet factors today like liposuction and the brand new laser form of that; about gastro bypass, which examples of successful and failure of this operation exist right in our own realm at work. We talked about will power, getting your head into dieting as well as your body into exercise. It was all good. There are pros and cons to each. I'd love to hear your take on the situation.
I'm going to visualise myself in the two outfits that I purchased today. I'm going to try hard to keep myself motivated, inspired and moving forward to a healthier, better version of me. I'll sign off now reminding you that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow will be that much better. Don't let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! I'll see you tomorrow. ;-)
I had a package of the weight control cinnamon oatmeal because there was no way fruit alone would curb the hunger and I didn't want to cheat. It worked but by 10am I was hungry again. I had watermelon chunks. For lunch I finished off the roast chicken with leftover corn and green bean from yesterday's dinner. 3pm snack was the Quaker chocolate silver dollar sized rice cakes and dinner was two left over lamb chops and the rest of the corn and green beans. I did great! I drank all of my water too obviously. I walked around thinking 'who I am.' That is a great feeling.
On Lite Fm 106.7 the radio show they talked about dieting. It seems that Dr, Oz was on the show yesterday. He is an expert on nutrition and exercise. They talked about a study that said curling up on the sofa instead of exercising was a better stress release. Apparently Dr. Oz had vehemently disagreed. There was also woman on the show that he's going to have on his television show. She represents Americans he said. She'd quit smoking, gained a ton of weight, got depressed and ended up on medication after medication, which has only made things worse for her. Poor thing, I thought. I hope he can help her.
A co-worker of mine quit smoking and went from a size six to her body type now. I think she is about a twelve but I'm not sure. I'm much larger so twelve would be welcome for me. Anyway, she swears that it was the quitting smoking that did it to her. She also adds that she is glad that she quit though. It's a real issue. I've never smoked but can understand to a degree. Literally, one habit was replaced with another.
Another girl is on a glutton free diet for medical reasons. One of the security gaurds asked her if she was pregnant today. She was so upset. When she explained to the officer that she was not having a baby, the officer told her how much weight she had gained since they last saw one another. This officer was not thin by any stretch of the imagination; in fact much larger than my non-pregnant co-worker. I think it may have been a case of misery loves company. The officer really hurt her feelings. Her self esteem hit the skids. Why do people do that? What sadistic pleasure did she get by compounding the first statement with the second one? I felt so bad for her as she told me what the officer had said. I gave the advice to let it go. It's the officer's problem not hers and to give it back to the officer. That is a hard thing to do though. I'm an expert. Many things have been said about my weight. It's funny though, no matter what size my butt has been over the years my heart size hasn't changed at all. Shame on them. You don't kick a person when their down...you offer love, compassion, understanding and assistance... but that may just be me...I'm really invested in the subject.
I also did something a little crazy. I purchased two outfits two sizes smaller than I am now. I'm going to use them as my first goal. I don't want my goal to be a number. That is something that has triggered more tears for me than it hasn't over the years. I think I'm going to set my goals small and in the category of pretty clothes.
We talked about so many diet factors today like liposuction and the brand new laser form of that; about gastro bypass, which examples of successful and failure of this operation exist right in our own realm at work. We talked about will power, getting your head into dieting as well as your body into exercise. It was all good. There are pros and cons to each. I'd love to hear your take on the situation.
I'm going to visualise myself in the two outfits that I purchased today. I'm going to try hard to keep myself motivated, inspired and moving forward to a healthier, better version of me. I'll sign off now reminding you that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow will be that much better. Don't let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! I'll see you tomorrow. ;-)
Monday, September 14, 2009
September 14,2009 Diet Blog
Today began as a lazy morning. No work due to a Doctor's appointment. I got to stay in bed for a little extra time. It was nice. The house was quiet and cool. I knew that I would be very uncomfortable after the doctor appointment so I did the smart thing and took the day off because the body conditioning class is tonight. The Doctor gave me a clean bill of health and it went well. You can't ask for more than that.
For breakfast I had a banana, for 10am snack I had a plumb. For lunch I had a smart Ones dinner and a cup of watermelon slices. 3pm snack was a cup and a half of grapes and dinner was three ounces of steak with corn and green beans. I drank all of my water.
I ran several errands today as well as going to the Doctor, but after noon I rested. I don't really know how much I can handle yet- but I'm forging ahead. The weirdest thing happened to me though. I had an old friend on my mind for some reason and I kept seeing their car or ones just like it but with the last three letters of their licence plate throughout my day. I remember that particular plate because the last three letters are a word. Then I thought I saw the actual person. That happened, without exaggeration, about six different times today. It was so weird. I wonder if it meant something; like maybe they were thinking of me too?
I bring that up because I believe that our mind plays tricks on us sometimes. That exact thing can also be used as a tool when dieting. We can help our mind to play specific tricks on us that will help us reach our goals. For instance: I mentioned the visualization already. I mentioned the looking at yourself in the mirror and saying something positive. I mentioned being positive. You can also feel the way you will feel when you have accomplished your goal; only feel it now; in advance. Think of how it will feel then and actually try to feel it now. Maybe it will help you progress faster. It all depends upon what you tell yourself to believe. I'm trying to do that; use my mind as a tool I mean. I'll keep you posted as to whether it helps or not. I'll also let you know if anything occurs with said mysterious appearing friend. I'm kind of interested to know if something is going to occur myself.
Body Conditioning class began with the teacher explaining that she wants us to keep a daily log, and how to do it. We then went to the machines and learned how to use them. I was a little nervous because I tend to be less than 'gadget friendly.' I figured it out though, so it was alright.
While teaching she told us that exercise is the number one stress release that exists in the world as we know it. I remember that from karate. Your brain gets your body to secrete endorphins that make you happy when you exercise. It's really very interesting. I have to admit however- that I have not exercised...at least not for real since I left karate. I missed it so much at first but then I just filled the time with other things. A lot of time has gone by. I've been at my current job nearly six years now. My body as it appears now is the result of lack of exercise and bad eating habits. But we're going to fix that together aren't we?
We were then instructed to do 30 minutes of one of the machines. We could choose any one but no exceptions on the 30 minute time. I got on a tread mill and was on my way before I knew it. I did 1.8 speed. There were a bunch of other numbers too but I'm not sure what they were, nor did it really matter to me.
The funny thing was that the teacher stayed with me the entire time. Maybe she thought I was going to have a heart attack or something? I'm not sure but it did make the time go faster thankfully. I can see that I'll need to bring music or an attention deterrent of some sort. We talked the entire time; the 42 year old teacher and I. I liked her. *Just a thought- maybe she did that to make sure that I could speak? If you can't, maybe that means its too much? Or maybe because I'm twice the age of just about everyone in the class? She watched me closely. It was kind of nice actually. Hmmm...I guess I'll have to ask her why or try and look it up. Either way I left exhausted.
So another day down and we're walking the walk. Were talking the talk and were here on the Blog... How are you feeling? Please comment and tell me. I'd love to hear. Have you started any kind of exercise yourself? It's time to begin. Start right away. Diet and exercise go hand in hand, one doesn't really work without the other.
I'll end on our usual note: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Don't let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow. ;-)
For breakfast I had a banana, for 10am snack I had a plumb. For lunch I had a smart Ones dinner and a cup of watermelon slices. 3pm snack was a cup and a half of grapes and dinner was three ounces of steak with corn and green beans. I drank all of my water.
I ran several errands today as well as going to the Doctor, but after noon I rested. I don't really know how much I can handle yet- but I'm forging ahead. The weirdest thing happened to me though. I had an old friend on my mind for some reason and I kept seeing their car or ones just like it but with the last three letters of their licence plate throughout my day. I remember that particular plate because the last three letters are a word. Then I thought I saw the actual person. That happened, without exaggeration, about six different times today. It was so weird. I wonder if it meant something; like maybe they were thinking of me too?
I bring that up because I believe that our mind plays tricks on us sometimes. That exact thing can also be used as a tool when dieting. We can help our mind to play specific tricks on us that will help us reach our goals. For instance: I mentioned the visualization already. I mentioned the looking at yourself in the mirror and saying something positive. I mentioned being positive. You can also feel the way you will feel when you have accomplished your goal; only feel it now; in advance. Think of how it will feel then and actually try to feel it now. Maybe it will help you progress faster. It all depends upon what you tell yourself to believe. I'm trying to do that; use my mind as a tool I mean. I'll keep you posted as to whether it helps or not. I'll also let you know if anything occurs with said mysterious appearing friend. I'm kind of interested to know if something is going to occur myself.
Body Conditioning class began with the teacher explaining that she wants us to keep a daily log, and how to do it. We then went to the machines and learned how to use them. I was a little nervous because I tend to be less than 'gadget friendly.' I figured it out though, so it was alright.
While teaching she told us that exercise is the number one stress release that exists in the world as we know it. I remember that from karate. Your brain gets your body to secrete endorphins that make you happy when you exercise. It's really very interesting. I have to admit however- that I have not exercised...at least not for real since I left karate. I missed it so much at first but then I just filled the time with other things. A lot of time has gone by. I've been at my current job nearly six years now. My body as it appears now is the result of lack of exercise and bad eating habits. But we're going to fix that together aren't we?
We were then instructed to do 30 minutes of one of the machines. We could choose any one but no exceptions on the 30 minute time. I got on a tread mill and was on my way before I knew it. I did 1.8 speed. There were a bunch of other numbers too but I'm not sure what they were, nor did it really matter to me.
The funny thing was that the teacher stayed with me the entire time. Maybe she thought I was going to have a heart attack or something? I'm not sure but it did make the time go faster thankfully. I can see that I'll need to bring music or an attention deterrent of some sort. We talked the entire time; the 42 year old teacher and I. I liked her. *Just a thought- maybe she did that to make sure that I could speak? If you can't, maybe that means its too much? Or maybe because I'm twice the age of just about everyone in the class? She watched me closely. It was kind of nice actually. Hmmm...I guess I'll have to ask her why or try and look it up. Either way I left exhausted.
So another day down and we're walking the walk. Were talking the talk and were here on the Blog... How are you feeling? Please comment and tell me. I'd love to hear. Have you started any kind of exercise yourself? It's time to begin. Start right away. Diet and exercise go hand in hand, one doesn't really work without the other.
I'll end on our usual note: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Don't let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow. ;-)
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Sept. 13, 2009 Diet Blog
Friday night when XBFF popped into karaoke was a hard one. It really threw me. It took some doing to sort it out and let it go. But that is what I have to do to succeed here. Running for the chocolate would've only compounded the situation, making it worse. Working it through with my Blairstown BFF was the way to go. Last night was much better.
My Blairstown BFF and I visited her son, and I got to meet his wife and family. They had a great big dog who fell in love with me. This is not ever a surprise. I am a magnet for children and animals. I always have been. With adults I'm every one's sister, every one's friend and every ones mom. I'm as good a person as I know how to be but sometimes it feels like it's never enough. The conditions are too high, too much and too many sometimes. With children and animals it's the opposite. Love is unconditional. Animals love you and show it right from the onset of your first meeting. You smile at a child; they smile back. You play with a child, make them laugh instead of cry, or show kindness they think you're amazing. It requires little effort. The rewards are ...well you can't even measure that. My XBFF crossed that line and hurt me without reason or cause. It was undeserved. I know that I did nothing. The problem belongs to XBFF. I'm giving it back. I'm moving past it now.
Like I said last night was better. It wasn't just better, it was amazing! My Blairstown BFF and I left her son's house and went to help our friend starting the new karaoke gig at a new place. By help I mean: Singers are needed to warm up a new crowd and get it off to a good start. You don't have to be the greatest singer, you just have to laugh and be okay with it if you mess up. I do that fairly often. I have to be okay with it. Plus I love people.
You may or may not have gathered that I'm a little bit shy though, but I do try to push past it. Singing in a new place was very intimidating for me. I literally shook like a leaf. Blairtown BFF thought it was hilarious. I was third on the roster, and there were only three of us.
The first thing I did was go to the bar to order my diet soda. They only had real soda. The battle plan fizzled out immediately. I got the small glass of wine and the glass of water to drink it with. Blairstown BFF had her usual rum and coke. After my first song the crowd hooped it up for me. One girl shouted "I LOVE HER!" Referring to me. I blew her a kiss as I sang and smiled in her direction. Her boyfriend caught it and smiled at Cheshire cat grin. I formulated an idea at that point. I thought I knew how to get things rolling. It was completely against my grain... but we had done several rounds of singing and no one was coming up to try. My Gig friend was texting everyone he knew to come in and sing. He was smiling, but he was also sweating it.
I chose to take the initiative to help without telling anyone I was doing so. I consciously did that. I began my next song, checking the audience for "love" as I sang. I tried to make it seem as if I were singing just for them. I was trying to 'read the crowd' as a friend who is an actual performer told me he did as part of his usual act. He is a comedian.
I heard one of the girls at the other end of the bar say she loved the song. I danced and sang my way to her. I watched her singing along with me; Jackpot! She and her boyfriend joined me in song. It worked. They sang from their chairs; a comfort zone of sorts. I knew it was the way to go. My next round found me doing the same thing to another person. Everyone cheered for me. I was clearly the hit of the show. Gig friend was absolutely thrilled when the second girl picked out a song to sing. I'm pretty sure he was wondering what Alien had inhabited my body and took it over as well. We've known each other awhile. His girlfriend is a good friend. He's never seen me act like that.
The bartender was next. Young, pretty and as it turned out VERY talented. She chose her own song afterward too. The ice was broken, several people came up to sing and Blairstown BFF instructed them on how to use the books and fill out the paper. Gig friend did the running of the computers, songs and show, I recruited. It was going very well.
The friends that Gig friend texted came in one by one and the place rocked. The owner danced with me while I sang a love song. The karaoke was a hit. Gig Friend got the job. It will be every second Saturday a month. How about that? Gig friend was beyond grateful. I, in my usual curt manner of the alien within jokingly demanded pay. We all broke into serious laughter because that too was completely against my grain. I was confident... teasing but confident. It was wonderful. I really helped someone, even if it was in such an abstract way. Blairstown BFF and I felt good about ourselves. We left around 2:30 am.
I slept in a little bit this morning so I skipped breakfast and the 10am snack. For lunch I had a Smart One's pizza. For 3pm snack I thoroughly enjoyed a banana. For dinner I had roasted chicken and carrot sticks. I wanted a lot of something that I could chew but did not want to go off my diet. The instant gratification and battle plan was the carrot sticks. It worked.
I think that one of the tricks for me to succeed is to have a plan. In this case to have the right food available, quick and at my fingertips. I cooked a bunch of roast chicken. It's nearly gone. One more meal to go, but I've gotta tell you I'm going to do that exact same thing again. It's working for me. The craving to chew was interesting. I guess I wanted the crunch. It was wonderful.
My lifestyle demands quick and easy though. That usually because I'm busy but today it was because I'm exhausted. Two nights in a row out until the wee hours took the wind out of my sails a bit. Luckily the feeling it left in its wake pumped the sails right back up into overflow! The diet is going well even though the weekend was chock full of upsets. I'm kind of proud of me. That's a nice feeling for a change.
I'll sign off on that note reminding you of what I am absolutely sure of: You look the best you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow. ;-)
My Blairstown BFF and I visited her son, and I got to meet his wife and family. They had a great big dog who fell in love with me. This is not ever a surprise. I am a magnet for children and animals. I always have been. With adults I'm every one's sister, every one's friend and every ones mom. I'm as good a person as I know how to be but sometimes it feels like it's never enough. The conditions are too high, too much and too many sometimes. With children and animals it's the opposite. Love is unconditional. Animals love you and show it right from the onset of your first meeting. You smile at a child; they smile back. You play with a child, make them laugh instead of cry, or show kindness they think you're amazing. It requires little effort. The rewards are ...well you can't even measure that. My XBFF crossed that line and hurt me without reason or cause. It was undeserved. I know that I did nothing. The problem belongs to XBFF. I'm giving it back. I'm moving past it now.
Like I said last night was better. It wasn't just better, it was amazing! My Blairstown BFF and I left her son's house and went to help our friend starting the new karaoke gig at a new place. By help I mean: Singers are needed to warm up a new crowd and get it off to a good start. You don't have to be the greatest singer, you just have to laugh and be okay with it if you mess up. I do that fairly often. I have to be okay with it. Plus I love people.
You may or may not have gathered that I'm a little bit shy though, but I do try to push past it. Singing in a new place was very intimidating for me. I literally shook like a leaf. Blairtown BFF thought it was hilarious. I was third on the roster, and there were only three of us.
The first thing I did was go to the bar to order my diet soda. They only had real soda. The battle plan fizzled out immediately. I got the small glass of wine and the glass of water to drink it with. Blairstown BFF had her usual rum and coke. After my first song the crowd hooped it up for me. One girl shouted "I LOVE HER!" Referring to me. I blew her a kiss as I sang and smiled in her direction. Her boyfriend caught it and smiled at Cheshire cat grin. I formulated an idea at that point. I thought I knew how to get things rolling. It was completely against my grain... but we had done several rounds of singing and no one was coming up to try. My Gig friend was texting everyone he knew to come in and sing. He was smiling, but he was also sweating it.
I chose to take the initiative to help without telling anyone I was doing so. I consciously did that. I began my next song, checking the audience for "love" as I sang. I tried to make it seem as if I were singing just for them. I was trying to 'read the crowd' as a friend who is an actual performer told me he did as part of his usual act. He is a comedian.
I heard one of the girls at the other end of the bar say she loved the song. I danced and sang my way to her. I watched her singing along with me; Jackpot! She and her boyfriend joined me in song. It worked. They sang from their chairs; a comfort zone of sorts. I knew it was the way to go. My next round found me doing the same thing to another person. Everyone cheered for me. I was clearly the hit of the show. Gig friend was absolutely thrilled when the second girl picked out a song to sing. I'm pretty sure he was wondering what Alien had inhabited my body and took it over as well. We've known each other awhile. His girlfriend is a good friend. He's never seen me act like that.
The bartender was next. Young, pretty and as it turned out VERY talented. She chose her own song afterward too. The ice was broken, several people came up to sing and Blairstown BFF instructed them on how to use the books and fill out the paper. Gig friend did the running of the computers, songs and show, I recruited. It was going very well.
The friends that Gig friend texted came in one by one and the place rocked. The owner danced with me while I sang a love song. The karaoke was a hit. Gig Friend got the job. It will be every second Saturday a month. How about that? Gig friend was beyond grateful. I, in my usual curt manner of the alien within jokingly demanded pay. We all broke into serious laughter because that too was completely against my grain. I was confident... teasing but confident. It was wonderful. I really helped someone, even if it was in such an abstract way. Blairstown BFF and I felt good about ourselves. We left around 2:30 am.
I slept in a little bit this morning so I skipped breakfast and the 10am snack. For lunch I had a Smart One's pizza. For 3pm snack I thoroughly enjoyed a banana. For dinner I had roasted chicken and carrot sticks. I wanted a lot of something that I could chew but did not want to go off my diet. The instant gratification and battle plan was the carrot sticks. It worked.
I think that one of the tricks for me to succeed is to have a plan. In this case to have the right food available, quick and at my fingertips. I cooked a bunch of roast chicken. It's nearly gone. One more meal to go, but I've gotta tell you I'm going to do that exact same thing again. It's working for me. The craving to chew was interesting. I guess I wanted the crunch. It was wonderful.
My lifestyle demands quick and easy though. That usually because I'm busy but today it was because I'm exhausted. Two nights in a row out until the wee hours took the wind out of my sails a bit. Luckily the feeling it left in its wake pumped the sails right back up into overflow! The diet is going well even though the weekend was chock full of upsets. I'm kind of proud of me. That's a nice feeling for a change.
I'll sign off on that note reminding you of what I am absolutely sure of: You look the best you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow. ;-)
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Sept. 12, 2009 Diet Blog
Today was completely Topsy turvy. We were out until the wee hours of the morning and I really wanted to sleep in but tossed and turned all night. I could not shut my brain off. The night had literally turned on a dime. An XBFF that I once adored came into our place of karaoke close to the end of the night much to my surprise and dismay. When X walked in I was immediately uncomfortable and my first instinct was to head for the door.
I couldn't do that to the people I was with though because they were having so much fun and I would never take that away from them. Up until that moment I was also having fun beyond the norm. I had made many new friends and was asked to sing with several total strangers. I was told that I was 'absolutely adorable' by a cowboy and that I had 'the cutest personality' by yet another patron. It was lovely. I accepted my compliments with grace and dignity to that point. Anyway, X had hurt me pretty bad back in the day; apologised after being caught and I, in my usual nature forgave X.
X repeated the same actions that led to our friendship break up and asked for forgiveness a second time. Again I forgave. X did several more things that I also forgave. It was abuse in a sense. In case you haven't figured it out I'm the 'heart rules my head type' and it gets me in trouble every time. To make a long story short, X looked for fault in me after that as a constant tactic against my happiness, or so it seemed; Not a good type of friend to keep. I know that now. I think I always knew.
I guess X wanted to balance the scales or something. I don't really know for sure why that happened. When X couldn't find a real fault, X felt that it was okay to invent one. X then proceeded to twist a scenario made up in their head, give me a bunch of unfounded, undeserved labels and demanded an apology for the incident that never occurred in a very angry fashion. I gave a lame excuse for one. I was so shocked and hurt. I cried for an entire afternoon. At that point I knew the friendship was futile. It could not be saved.
It required great strength for me to take action in my own defense and doing what had to be done was rough. Ask me to defend a woman or a child or anyone else, I'm a Tiger with full claws out; being a black belt in two styles I am not kidding when I say that. When it comes to defending myself though...I'm not sure why, but I'm a helpless wimp... usually. Not this time. Two weeks later I ended the friendship with an evely toned but very stern, short and sweet quip: "Go in peace. I'm not interested in your BS anymore and you don't deserve me." I meant it. X never answered me and never contacted me again. We have not spoken, nor have I seen X. I do admitt to hurling thoughts of the broken friendship around in my head for weeks.
It was the expected response however. X has serious issues with being caught at things and being seen in a negative light by others. X knows I'm not that kind of a person and will not ever tell anyone what actually went down in full. X was right. I swallowed it until now. It's been awhile since I've seen X and after the initial stun wore off it still hurt. You can't imagine how much...or maybe you can. I trusted X. I confided in X. X knew exactly what buttons to push to hurt me and did so at will back then. I thought X was truly a friend. The kind I loved and really did not want to dismiss. X had portrayed them self as someone they were really not. I forgave because I understood. But the reality and size of that false portrayal was astounding at the end. It's so hard to explain...the emotions are still so raw.
X greeted me with a kiss and a squeeze of my hand. It was so familiar. Too familiar. I felt myself close off momentarily and then X sat next to me as if nothing in the world had changed between us. It had. I felt it hard. To that point I had spent the entire night sipping one half glass of wine. Drinking water on the side.
X offered to get me another. I gracefully declined. Another friend came in with X and they brought me one anyway. I ended up drinking the half left and the entire new glass of wine before the night was through. During that time I shared forced time with X. Some of it was pleasant. X is very funny and a good karaoke singer. The rest of the time had me tense and upset while trying to hide that fact from the fun loving crowd I was with and shockingly from X too. I don't know why. Being myself was a grueling moment by moment all out war between my head and my heart. It was exhausting.
My point, if you haven't guessed is that emotions caused me to put myself, my needs and my diet on the back burner. My self esteem hit the skids too. X complimented my hair and my nails. I couldn't shrink away fast enough. Needless to say, I SOOOO did not have a battle plan for the emotional elevator ride I took. No one knew except Blairstown BFF, whose lap I all but climbed on to, to get away from X who referred to me by an endearing nick name and talked loudly into my ear because of the noise. It was unnerving. Blairstown BFF was very supportive. She also noticed the wine incident. She knew all about X from back in the day too. I'm not the only victim of this I later discovered; there were many. But that's another story.
For me, eating isn't always about hunger. It's about stress, depression, anxiety...emotions that are raw and hard to deal with. I'm going to think about how to substitute something else for that kind of reaction to a situation. I haven't come up with a plan yet. I pretty much spent the day torturing myself over it.
I had no breakfast and no 10am snack but I had grilled chicken on a whole wheat bagel with lettuce and a smidgen of mayonnaise with a diet raspberry Snapple for breakfast, lunch and the two snacks. For dinner I am having some roast chicken thigh and water melon slices. I have a container, it looks to be 2 cups or so.
I'm off to support the friend that runs the karaoke in a new place tonight. I'm going to stick to diet coke. It's easier. At least if someone purchases me another drink it won't damage my diet. That's only part of the battle plan. I'm still working on the rest of it. I'm going to try and have a good time regardless.
I chose not to weigh in until a month has passed by. I don't feel like I need depression because of a number to top of my growing list of emotional issues to deal with. I'm sorting them all out one by one. I'll keep you posted on the progress. I promised you I'd tell you the entire truth on here good or bad, and I will. If you have any ideas that can help me or any other struggling dieter please post them!
Remember: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let you perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Keep positive. We're in this together. Saga to continue tomorrow. ;-)
I couldn't do that to the people I was with though because they were having so much fun and I would never take that away from them. Up until that moment I was also having fun beyond the norm. I had made many new friends and was asked to sing with several total strangers. I was told that I was 'absolutely adorable' by a cowboy and that I had 'the cutest personality' by yet another patron. It was lovely. I accepted my compliments with grace and dignity to that point. Anyway, X had hurt me pretty bad back in the day; apologised after being caught and I, in my usual nature forgave X.
X repeated the same actions that led to our friendship break up and asked for forgiveness a second time. Again I forgave. X did several more things that I also forgave. It was abuse in a sense. In case you haven't figured it out I'm the 'heart rules my head type' and it gets me in trouble every time. To make a long story short, X looked for fault in me after that as a constant tactic against my happiness, or so it seemed; Not a good type of friend to keep. I know that now. I think I always knew.
I guess X wanted to balance the scales or something. I don't really know for sure why that happened. When X couldn't find a real fault, X felt that it was okay to invent one. X then proceeded to twist a scenario made up in their head, give me a bunch of unfounded, undeserved labels and demanded an apology for the incident that never occurred in a very angry fashion. I gave a lame excuse for one. I was so shocked and hurt. I cried for an entire afternoon. At that point I knew the friendship was futile. It could not be saved.
It required great strength for me to take action in my own defense and doing what had to be done was rough. Ask me to defend a woman or a child or anyone else, I'm a Tiger with full claws out; being a black belt in two styles I am not kidding when I say that. When it comes to defending myself though...I'm not sure why, but I'm a helpless wimp... usually. Not this time. Two weeks later I ended the friendship with an evely toned but very stern, short and sweet quip: "Go in peace. I'm not interested in your BS anymore and you don't deserve me." I meant it. X never answered me and never contacted me again. We have not spoken, nor have I seen X. I do admitt to hurling thoughts of the broken friendship around in my head for weeks.
It was the expected response however. X has serious issues with being caught at things and being seen in a negative light by others. X knows I'm not that kind of a person and will not ever tell anyone what actually went down in full. X was right. I swallowed it until now. It's been awhile since I've seen X and after the initial stun wore off it still hurt. You can't imagine how much...or maybe you can. I trusted X. I confided in X. X knew exactly what buttons to push to hurt me and did so at will back then. I thought X was truly a friend. The kind I loved and really did not want to dismiss. X had portrayed them self as someone they were really not. I forgave because I understood. But the reality and size of that false portrayal was astounding at the end. It's so hard to explain...the emotions are still so raw.
X greeted me with a kiss and a squeeze of my hand. It was so familiar. Too familiar. I felt myself close off momentarily and then X sat next to me as if nothing in the world had changed between us. It had. I felt it hard. To that point I had spent the entire night sipping one half glass of wine. Drinking water on the side.
X offered to get me another. I gracefully declined. Another friend came in with X and they brought me one anyway. I ended up drinking the half left and the entire new glass of wine before the night was through. During that time I shared forced time with X. Some of it was pleasant. X is very funny and a good karaoke singer. The rest of the time had me tense and upset while trying to hide that fact from the fun loving crowd I was with and shockingly from X too. I don't know why. Being myself was a grueling moment by moment all out war between my head and my heart. It was exhausting.
My point, if you haven't guessed is that emotions caused me to put myself, my needs and my diet on the back burner. My self esteem hit the skids too. X complimented my hair and my nails. I couldn't shrink away fast enough. Needless to say, I SOOOO did not have a battle plan for the emotional elevator ride I took. No one knew except Blairstown BFF, whose lap I all but climbed on to, to get away from X who referred to me by an endearing nick name and talked loudly into my ear because of the noise. It was unnerving. Blairstown BFF was very supportive. She also noticed the wine incident. She knew all about X from back in the day too. I'm not the only victim of this I later discovered; there were many. But that's another story.
For me, eating isn't always about hunger. It's about stress, depression, anxiety...emotions that are raw and hard to deal with. I'm going to think about how to substitute something else for that kind of reaction to a situation. I haven't come up with a plan yet. I pretty much spent the day torturing myself over it.
I had no breakfast and no 10am snack but I had grilled chicken on a whole wheat bagel with lettuce and a smidgen of mayonnaise with a diet raspberry Snapple for breakfast, lunch and the two snacks. For dinner I am having some roast chicken thigh and water melon slices. I have a container, it looks to be 2 cups or so.
I'm off to support the friend that runs the karaoke in a new place tonight. I'm going to stick to diet coke. It's easier. At least if someone purchases me another drink it won't damage my diet. That's only part of the battle plan. I'm still working on the rest of it. I'm going to try and have a good time regardless.
I chose not to weigh in until a month has passed by. I don't feel like I need depression because of a number to top of my growing list of emotional issues to deal with. I'm sorting them all out one by one. I'll keep you posted on the progress. I promised you I'd tell you the entire truth on here good or bad, and I will. If you have any ideas that can help me or any other struggling dieter please post them!
Remember: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let you perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Keep positive. We're in this together. Saga to continue tomorrow. ;-)
Friday, September 11, 2009
September 11, 2009 Diet Blog
Take just a moment to say a prayer for the families of 9-11.
Today I began my day by telling the girl in the mirror that her hair was pretty. She believed me. It was true. Tonight I got my nails done. I feel like a real live girl! Pinocchio-ette? Anyway, breakfast was a cup of grapes and coffee again. Sadly, it was an on the run type of meal because I got up late. I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night. My brain just plain refused to shut off.
That subject came up in several conversations regarding dieting today. The eating on the run syndrome seems to effect everyone at some point or another.
The proper thing is to sit and eat slowly. Then let it digest. It takes about 15-20 minutes to feel "full," so I've been told. They say to be in the moment. The secret actually has a section dedicated to that very thing. Savor and enjoy your meal they say; it's the best way. Yes. I think that is an amazing idea.
My lifestyle as such doesn't always allow for it though. When I can, I do. However, it's not as often as I'd like. I have no battle plan for this type of thing at present. If you have one I'd love for you to share it. I fly by the seat of my pants so to speak, more times than I do not- when my lifestyle requires it. Today was like that. I literally felt like I could not catch up all day.
Lunch was a Smart Ones chicken fettuccine dinner, a cup of carrot sticks, a plumb and a Sprite Zero. I was so hungry. I believe that it was an after effect of last night. It took that to fill me. I then was not interested in my 3pm snack and by 5pm while I sat in the nail salon until almost 7pm I became ravenous!
Throwing off one night seems to have thrown off the better part of today as well. And, the rush is not over. Another one of my BFF's is up Blairstown to spend the weekend with me while my husband is away this weekend. She was already at the house when I got there. I warmed up some of the left over roasted chicken and sat down to this Blog so that we can go out tonight...which means clearly that I blew dinner again. Not badly diet wise, but hunger wise I'm in a bad place. That's one of the reasons that people cheat. Time....or the lack there of, creates stress because the schedule gets thrown. I'm going to try and take a deep breath and slow down. That's all I can do. Luckily my Blairstown BFF wants to see me succeed and I'm sure she will help me remain on the right track.
Just a quick note to let you know how the body conditioning class went. Let me describe it this way: WHEW! And we didn't even exercise yet. There are a bunch of books to buy and read, several quizzes, some of them pop- or surprise quizzes, an essay paper and two programs we must write. It's amazing. Also, 30 minutes of actual exercise too! Attendance is a must. (No problem there though. I can do it all...and I will.) But do I hear the faint echoes of "Whew" coming through the Blog network on my behalf? I believe that I do! I'll keep you posted on how it goes when we add actual exercise to the pile.
Now my good friend and I are off to a night of karaoke with other friends. I will sign off here once again with my constant reminder: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better! Do not let your perception of your body get in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! We're in this for the long haul...and we're in this together! ;-)
Today I began my day by telling the girl in the mirror that her hair was pretty. She believed me. It was true. Tonight I got my nails done. I feel like a real live girl! Pinocchio-ette? Anyway, breakfast was a cup of grapes and coffee again. Sadly, it was an on the run type of meal because I got up late. I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night. My brain just plain refused to shut off.
That subject came up in several conversations regarding dieting today. The eating on the run syndrome seems to effect everyone at some point or another.
The proper thing is to sit and eat slowly. Then let it digest. It takes about 15-20 minutes to feel "full," so I've been told. They say to be in the moment. The secret actually has a section dedicated to that very thing. Savor and enjoy your meal they say; it's the best way. Yes. I think that is an amazing idea.
My lifestyle as such doesn't always allow for it though. When I can, I do. However, it's not as often as I'd like. I have no battle plan for this type of thing at present. If you have one I'd love for you to share it. I fly by the seat of my pants so to speak, more times than I do not- when my lifestyle requires it. Today was like that. I literally felt like I could not catch up all day.
Lunch was a Smart Ones chicken fettuccine dinner, a cup of carrot sticks, a plumb and a Sprite Zero. I was so hungry. I believe that it was an after effect of last night. It took that to fill me. I then was not interested in my 3pm snack and by 5pm while I sat in the nail salon until almost 7pm I became ravenous!
Throwing off one night seems to have thrown off the better part of today as well. And, the rush is not over. Another one of my BFF's is up Blairstown to spend the weekend with me while my husband is away this weekend. She was already at the house when I got there. I warmed up some of the left over roasted chicken and sat down to this Blog so that we can go out tonight...which means clearly that I blew dinner again. Not badly diet wise, but hunger wise I'm in a bad place. That's one of the reasons that people cheat. Time....or the lack there of, creates stress because the schedule gets thrown. I'm going to try and take a deep breath and slow down. That's all I can do. Luckily my Blairstown BFF wants to see me succeed and I'm sure she will help me remain on the right track.
Just a quick note to let you know how the body conditioning class went. Let me describe it this way: WHEW! And we didn't even exercise yet. There are a bunch of books to buy and read, several quizzes, some of them pop- or surprise quizzes, an essay paper and two programs we must write. It's amazing. Also, 30 minutes of actual exercise too! Attendance is a must. (No problem there though. I can do it all...and I will.) But do I hear the faint echoes of "Whew" coming through the Blog network on my behalf? I believe that I do! I'll keep you posted on how it goes when we add actual exercise to the pile.
Now my good friend and I are off to a night of karaoke with other friends. I will sign off here once again with my constant reminder: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better! Do not let your perception of your body get in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! We're in this for the long haul...and we're in this together! ;-)
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