'Tis the season to be jolly...and VERY very busy. The last few days consisted of shopping, cleaning, touching base with too many people to count, driving and eating on the run. I'm proud to report that the bulk of my holiday shopping is done though. Of course chach-kas and wrapping; cards and the like still have to be done, not to mention putting the party together for Dec 20th. It's a whirlwind!
Some of the people I've parted ways with, became estranged with or lost touch with have been finding their way back into the outskirts of my life since I contacted them. I used various methods to do so and all of them worked, on some of the recipients if you know what I mean. It made me happy to hear from them. Some of them, I realize will just blow through like a strong gust of wind carrying my memories like leaves because that's the way that it's supposed to be, but there have been two so far that touched my heart in the deepest of places.
They were the one's that I just parted ways with because of circumstances and not due to hard feelings or assinine doings on either part. It was truly wonderful to hear from them. Others just returned texts- one sent me a beautiful holiday card with pictures of their children on it. It was amazing. I'm not sure what prompted me to do that reaching out thing- but I'm SO not sorry that I did.
So its been a good experience as well as a busy experience for these last few days. I thought of you guys; knowing that you'd understand once I finally sat down and explained. One friend actually worried because I hadn't been on the blog in several days. She was relieved to see me at work. It was nice to have been missed.
Body conditioning tonight will start me once again on my diet routine. I'll keep it going until I can't and then start up again. Dieting in the holiday season is rough but I'm going to try. I'll write in again tomorrow, but for now I hope that the rest of your day is wonderful. See you next Blog! ;-)
Monday, November 30, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
November 27, 2009 Diet Blog
Today was all about organization. I got the laundry done, the house picked up, the paper written. I coordinated the traveling to the baby naming ceremony at the Temple where my friend and former co-worker goes and the ceremony is at. I got the card purchased and written out- stahed lovingly in the car so that I would not forget it. I contacted all of the parties, got the address and put it into my GPS, and it all went forth without a glitch, up to and including grabbing two favors-one for my niece and one for my nephew.
The baby- a little girl was beautiful. I watched as the new parents struggled through several stages of learning what to do at a party. The baby pooped and it apparently smelled very bad as she was given her Hebrew name that meant little flower...her mom said that she sure didn't smell like a flower. She was up at the 'alter' (because I don't know if its called something else in a Temple) and I don't think she realized that the congregation heard her until everyone laughed. She turned bright pink. It was cute. When they came down from the alter type area she took the baby out for the change. ;-)
I continued on the 'reach out to estranged people in my life' path by sending out several cards. Among them were a birthday card and a sympathy card. Even if nothing comes of it- I feel better about myself having done that. People have done that with me in the past and my response was nearly always positive, so I'm not sorry that I did that. If anything happens, it'll be on here- be assured. If nothing happens as was the case on some of the texts, then that's fine too...no harm, no foul right? Estranged does not necessarily mean 'fought with,' just so you know. Sometimes people just part and lose track. There are some of both in my case. Not many of either- but enough...one is too many....
I also coordinated the Christmas shopping trip this weekend with my best BFF. I got sizes from people and times down pat and formulated my Christmas list. I put necessities into a much smaller purse because I broke my big one. If I can find a sturdy one I'm going to purchase it on Sunday when my best BFF, her daughter and I go shopping at the Woodbury Commons in New York.
After the baby naming I stopped into the karaoke bar to say hello to several friends who had asked me to meet them there and to see karaoke buddy and his girlfriend. It's been 3 weeks since I've been there. It was fun. I sang several songs without having even one drop to drink. It turns out that the bar is closing Dec 28th, just before the new year. I'm saddened by that. I feel like I'm losing a real slice of my life. The economy is so bad. There are so many small businesses closing. It's such a shame.
The eating part of my day...well, let's just say that it could've been better. I feel like I ate too much yesterday... and today. Ahhh...Monday...a new beginning. I don't expect a loss this month. I will be happy if I just maintained.
So that was the day in a nutshell. Hang in there. We can diet in between this holiday and the next one. See you next Blog! ;-)
The baby- a little girl was beautiful. I watched as the new parents struggled through several stages of learning what to do at a party. The baby pooped and it apparently smelled very bad as she was given her Hebrew name that meant little flower...her mom said that she sure didn't smell like a flower. She was up at the 'alter' (because I don't know if its called something else in a Temple) and I don't think she realized that the congregation heard her until everyone laughed. She turned bright pink. It was cute. When they came down from the alter type area she took the baby out for the change. ;-)
I continued on the 'reach out to estranged people in my life' path by sending out several cards. Among them were a birthday card and a sympathy card. Even if nothing comes of it- I feel better about myself having done that. People have done that with me in the past and my response was nearly always positive, so I'm not sorry that I did that. If anything happens, it'll be on here- be assured. If nothing happens as was the case on some of the texts, then that's fine too...no harm, no foul right? Estranged does not necessarily mean 'fought with,' just so you know. Sometimes people just part and lose track. There are some of both in my case. Not many of either- but enough...one is too many....
I also coordinated the Christmas shopping trip this weekend with my best BFF. I got sizes from people and times down pat and formulated my Christmas list. I put necessities into a much smaller purse because I broke my big one. If I can find a sturdy one I'm going to purchase it on Sunday when my best BFF, her daughter and I go shopping at the Woodbury Commons in New York.
After the baby naming I stopped into the karaoke bar to say hello to several friends who had asked me to meet them there and to see karaoke buddy and his girlfriend. It's been 3 weeks since I've been there. It was fun. I sang several songs without having even one drop to drink. It turns out that the bar is closing Dec 28th, just before the new year. I'm saddened by that. I feel like I'm losing a real slice of my life. The economy is so bad. There are so many small businesses closing. It's such a shame.
The eating part of my day...well, let's just say that it could've been better. I feel like I ate too much yesterday... and today. Ahhh...Monday...a new beginning. I don't expect a loss this month. I will be happy if I just maintained.
So that was the day in a nutshell. Hang in there. We can diet in between this holiday and the next one. See you next Blog! ;-)
Friday, November 27, 2009
November 26, 2009 Diet Blog
Hope every one's Thanksgiving was as nice as mine was. My little niece lost her two front teeth this week and she looks just as cute as can be. She sang 'All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth' for us too. What a little doll.
We had a nice family gathering at my sister in laws consisting of my husband, myself, sis in law and the two kids and my mother in law. We held hands and individually gave thanks for our lives and things that are meaningful to us. It was nice.
I started out steadfast on my diet- skipping any and all snacks, drinking tap water and putting only Turkey breast and broccoli on my plate. Sadly, my darling hubby knows that my favorite thing on the planet is stuffing and put a nice big heaping spoonful on my plate without realizing that I had skipped it on purpose. My sis in law gave me a glass of wine and it was over. Yes- I had desert too- not watching at all... I'm sorry. I jumped ship. I walked the plank and swam with the sharks. I'll climb back on board tomorrow.
I text all my friends and loved ones with holiday warmth and put my holiday warm wishes up on face book as well. I enjoy doing that. I found myself wishing loved ones that I'm estranged with a Happy Thanksgiving as well, through text of course- they are not on face book. Just the simple sentence wishing Happy Thanksgiving to them was the way I went. I thought it best not to get to elaborate...hurting or upsetting someone was the opposite of what my intentions were. I want to forgive, heal inside and move forward. I did it for me. XBFF actually responded in a positive manner using only one sentence basically sending the same warm thought back. There was a smiley face at the end of the sentence. We parted on a very bad note and so I felt good about that. I didn't push it any farther. Like I said that was not my intention. I just wanted to reach out and cause a moment's pause and perhaps a smile. I was pleasantly surprised at that response coming first.
One of my brothers that I was very close to up until two years ago also sent my warmth back that way later in the day. Maybe he had to think about it for awhile first or maybe he was busy and didn't see it until then. It doesn't matter. What matters is that the response came.
My 'new' sister responded too. There is no estrangement or annimosity caused by 'us.' She was adopted as a baby and we've only just found each other about a year and a half ago. It's wonderful, and special and hard and amazing.... It was nice to get her text response.
Granted- I initiated the warmth but if I hadn't this nice feeling that I have wouldn't be in me right now. No one responded negatively- some did not respond, which is fine. There was NO negativity! None! I wonder if anything will come of it...I hope so. Life is too short for this type of thing. Those that didn't respond...well...at least the hope that they thought of me in a positive light for that one second exists within me now. I reached out...that's all I can do. I feel better for having done that. I feel good that the responses were positive and warmly charged. I chose not to banter. I didn't want it to turn negative for any reason. One step at a time...one baby step.... Maybe now there will be a 'next' positive time.
So- all in all it was a lovely day. I'm Thankful and grateful for you too; in case you had no idea. I appreciate your support and really hope I can do the same for you. Happy Thanksgiving. See you next Blog.
We had a nice family gathering at my sister in laws consisting of my husband, myself, sis in law and the two kids and my mother in law. We held hands and individually gave thanks for our lives and things that are meaningful to us. It was nice.
I started out steadfast on my diet- skipping any and all snacks, drinking tap water and putting only Turkey breast and broccoli on my plate. Sadly, my darling hubby knows that my favorite thing on the planet is stuffing and put a nice big heaping spoonful on my plate without realizing that I had skipped it on purpose. My sis in law gave me a glass of wine and it was over. Yes- I had desert too- not watching at all... I'm sorry. I jumped ship. I walked the plank and swam with the sharks. I'll climb back on board tomorrow.
I text all my friends and loved ones with holiday warmth and put my holiday warm wishes up on face book as well. I enjoy doing that. I found myself wishing loved ones that I'm estranged with a Happy Thanksgiving as well, through text of course- they are not on face book. Just the simple sentence wishing Happy Thanksgiving to them was the way I went. I thought it best not to get to elaborate...hurting or upsetting someone was the opposite of what my intentions were. I want to forgive, heal inside and move forward. I did it for me. XBFF actually responded in a positive manner using only one sentence basically sending the same warm thought back. There was a smiley face at the end of the sentence. We parted on a very bad note and so I felt good about that. I didn't push it any farther. Like I said that was not my intention. I just wanted to reach out and cause a moment's pause and perhaps a smile. I was pleasantly surprised at that response coming first.
One of my brothers that I was very close to up until two years ago also sent my warmth back that way later in the day. Maybe he had to think about it for awhile first or maybe he was busy and didn't see it until then. It doesn't matter. What matters is that the response came.
My 'new' sister responded too. There is no estrangement or annimosity caused by 'us.' She was adopted as a baby and we've only just found each other about a year and a half ago. It's wonderful, and special and hard and amazing.... It was nice to get her text response.
Granted- I initiated the warmth but if I hadn't this nice feeling that I have wouldn't be in me right now. No one responded negatively- some did not respond, which is fine. There was NO negativity! None! I wonder if anything will come of it...I hope so. Life is too short for this type of thing. Those that didn't respond...well...at least the hope that they thought of me in a positive light for that one second exists within me now. I reached out...that's all I can do. I feel better for having done that. I feel good that the responses were positive and warmly charged. I chose not to banter. I didn't want it to turn negative for any reason. One step at a time...one baby step.... Maybe now there will be a 'next' positive time.
So- all in all it was a lovely day. I'm Thankful and grateful for you too; in case you had no idea. I appreciate your support and really hope I can do the same for you. Happy Thanksgiving. See you next Blog.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
November 25, 2009 Diet Blog
Let me start off by admitting I had a cookie today. There were cookies and cream puffs put out at work, homemade by my coworker with the longest fingernails I've ever seen. I had one of the smaller tri-colored ones. I know that my weight is an issue- but I had one anyway, fully aware that the calories would go right to my hips. ...(sigh...)
There was no body conditioning class tonight so I actually got to come home and relax. I broke my purse. I was so bummed because it is my favorite. I stopped at the store where I had purchased it and there were none like it. I didn't buy anything. I'm supposed to go shopping with my best BFF this weekend so maybe I'll buy one while we are out.
I ate well all day, except for the cookie. I found an excellent desert idea. I poured lite n fit blueberry yogurt over sliced banana, mixed it up and it was sweet and tasty as well as healthy compared to the hunk of cheesecake my husband had.
This blog is short and sweet because of Thanksgiving being tomorrow. I got off of work early, came home and then stopped. I'm not sure what to do with myself. I didn't want to sit around so I asked hubby to go shopping at the mall with me for a purse and Christmas ideas. He gracefully declined so all we did is sit around watching television. I ended up pacing half the night away and unable to sleep. I was antsy and restless. I am unsure of why. I can't even sit still long enough to think of what I wanted to share with you today-except the desert recipe idea.
We are due to go to my sister in law's for real Thanksgiving day but our Thanksgiving was actually last weekend at my son's house. It will be nice to be with the kids but I'm in an odd frame of mind. I'm hoping it will pass. I'll sign off here. I hope your tomorrow is great! See you next blog! ;-)
There was no body conditioning class tonight so I actually got to come home and relax. I broke my purse. I was so bummed because it is my favorite. I stopped at the store where I had purchased it and there were none like it. I didn't buy anything. I'm supposed to go shopping with my best BFF this weekend so maybe I'll buy one while we are out.
I ate well all day, except for the cookie. I found an excellent desert idea. I poured lite n fit blueberry yogurt over sliced banana, mixed it up and it was sweet and tasty as well as healthy compared to the hunk of cheesecake my husband had.
This blog is short and sweet because of Thanksgiving being tomorrow. I got off of work early, came home and then stopped. I'm not sure what to do with myself. I didn't want to sit around so I asked hubby to go shopping at the mall with me for a purse and Christmas ideas. He gracefully declined so all we did is sit around watching television. I ended up pacing half the night away and unable to sleep. I was antsy and restless. I am unsure of why. I can't even sit still long enough to think of what I wanted to share with you today-except the desert recipe idea.
We are due to go to my sister in law's for real Thanksgiving day but our Thanksgiving was actually last weekend at my son's house. It will be nice to be with the kids but I'm in an odd frame of mind. I'm hoping it will pass. I'll sign off here. I hope your tomorrow is great! See you next blog! ;-)
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
November 24, 2009 Diet Blog
It was a good day. Work was steady but not overwhelming. I felt very close to my Supervisor today. By nature she's just not the warm and fuzzy type but today she was kind- free with praise and we talked about a personal issue of hers on a level that we never have. I think that I actually said the right thing. She smiled at me a lot. Not that we've ever had any problems, I just never looked at her in the light I saw her in today. It's a different angle. I'm not sure, but I think that she was pleasantly surprised as well.
After work I had the meeting with the children's show producer. The name of the special is "musical therapy." We are filming on December 10 at 6pm right out of Mount Sinai Hospital in NY. I loved their idea about having me sit among stuffed animals and reading one of my children's stories and I had one prepared. It's called "No Cats and Dogs Allowed." It's a little story about a lonely puppy who disguises himself as a mouse to make friends. The moral is "be yourself." Of course I would've been thrilled to do that but I had another idea. I shared it with them.
I used to teach karate to 3-5 year old kids. The older kids always wanted to come on the mat with me. The way I did that was not the usual method of teaching exercises. I did the entire class as an 'interactive story.' We traveled via imaginary balloon to different imaginary locations and got through the terrain of each locale using the exercises and balance. I did it for many years. It worked like a charm. No props are necessary and I can use the camera as the child. They were very intrigued.
The producer loved the interactive story idea and we chatted for a long time as I tried to explain how the exercises worked in sync with the story line. For instance, the balloon isn't getting up high enough to clear the tree tops so we have to flap our wings. (Jumping Jacks) An airplane is coming towards us so we have to lighten the load by throwing things out of the balloon (toe touches). We go fishing, throwing out the line and reeling in a huge fish (crunches or sit ups). Of course the fish turns out to be an old boot or something silly like that to make them laugh. It's enjoyable excersise. You see what I mean?
I got home around 8:30pm. My husband showed up at the interview with the producer. It was at a near-by Barnes and Nobles...(that SOOO makes sense, doesn't it?) I was totally in my element; surrounded by books and people that read them.... I was surprised to see hubby. He was there the whole time but did not approach until the end. I asked him why he had come and he said that he had gotten worried and wanted to make sure I was okay and not sucked into a situation that I couldn't handle. I felt so loved but, really I was fine. One of the people there was my young co-worker. He's how the opportunity came about in the first place. I was safe. Anyway- in conclusion....I'm so happy and excited about it! ;-)
For breakfast I had a weight watcher 1 point cake and coffee. For lunch I had a smart ones, yogurt and banana for 3pm snack. Dinner was very late. I had chicken breast, lettuce and light mayonnaise on a wheat bagel. It was such a good day.
I'll sign off on that note. See you next blog! Oh! And remember: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body get in the way of you having a good time...or ANYTHING ELSE...like experiencing life...stay positive! Take care of you... ;-)
After work I had the meeting with the children's show producer. The name of the special is "musical therapy." We are filming on December 10 at 6pm right out of Mount Sinai Hospital in NY. I loved their idea about having me sit among stuffed animals and reading one of my children's stories and I had one prepared. It's called "No Cats and Dogs Allowed." It's a little story about a lonely puppy who disguises himself as a mouse to make friends. The moral is "be yourself." Of course I would've been thrilled to do that but I had another idea. I shared it with them.
I used to teach karate to 3-5 year old kids. The older kids always wanted to come on the mat with me. The way I did that was not the usual method of teaching exercises. I did the entire class as an 'interactive story.' We traveled via imaginary balloon to different imaginary locations and got through the terrain of each locale using the exercises and balance. I did it for many years. It worked like a charm. No props are necessary and I can use the camera as the child. They were very intrigued.
The producer loved the interactive story idea and we chatted for a long time as I tried to explain how the exercises worked in sync with the story line. For instance, the balloon isn't getting up high enough to clear the tree tops so we have to flap our wings. (Jumping Jacks) An airplane is coming towards us so we have to lighten the load by throwing things out of the balloon (toe touches). We go fishing, throwing out the line and reeling in a huge fish (crunches or sit ups). Of course the fish turns out to be an old boot or something silly like that to make them laugh. It's enjoyable excersise. You see what I mean?
I got home around 8:30pm. My husband showed up at the interview with the producer. It was at a near-by Barnes and Nobles...(that SOOO makes sense, doesn't it?) I was totally in my element; surrounded by books and people that read them.... I was surprised to see hubby. He was there the whole time but did not approach until the end. I asked him why he had come and he said that he had gotten worried and wanted to make sure I was okay and not sucked into a situation that I couldn't handle. I felt so loved but, really I was fine. One of the people there was my young co-worker. He's how the opportunity came about in the first place. I was safe. Anyway- in conclusion....I'm so happy and excited about it! ;-)
For breakfast I had a weight watcher 1 point cake and coffee. For lunch I had a smart ones, yogurt and banana for 3pm snack. Dinner was very late. I had chicken breast, lettuce and light mayonnaise on a wheat bagel. It was such a good day.
I'll sign off on that note. See you next blog! Oh! And remember: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body get in the way of you having a good time...or ANYTHING ELSE...like experiencing life...stay positive! Take care of you... ;-)
Monday, November 23, 2009
November 23, 2009 Diet Blog
Work went smoothly. I meditated to try and pull my mood up and it worked. I listed things that I am grateful for...there are many. I fought off the urge to head into negativity...I won. I had a nice day among good people.
My diet was right on the money food wise. Banana for breakfast, Smart Ones, and yogurt for lunch, chicken breast on a wheat bagel with lettuce and light mayonnaise for dinner. After work I stopped to purchase a new blow dryer. Mine broke mid hair yesterday morning before I went to my sons. It was over 30 years old though. Truthfully, it didn't owe me a thing. I made dinner and relaxed for a little while before I had to venture out into the cold wet wind. yup... Body conditioning class tonight. There was a quiz. I'm not sure how I did. I'll tell you when I know. It was on Weight training. I did 40 minutes on the treadmill. No euphoria I'm sad to report. Just tired.
I had a conversation about cucumbers. They are very healthy if you leave the skin on. If you leave the skin on it also alleviates the gas caused by them. They contain vitamens galore and anti- oxidants and you use up more calories eating them than is actually in them. I thought that was pretty interesting information.
There is an article in Shape magazine that caught my eye. "A body like this...with no gym" is the title. It is in the October one with Jennifer Love Hewitt on both the cover and the back cover. The woman in the article looks amazing. She is 35 and her body is fabulous...I think they should do one on a 50 year old though, but of course that is just an opinion.
Anyway, this lady stocked up her house with a treadmill, dumbbells and lots of healthy foods. So basically, her gym is at home. I think that's great.
She had several helpful hints that we all know but I will share with you anyway because I found the reminder to be a good thing. Her first helpful hint was to 'map out your menu." We've kind of been referring to this as our battle plan here on the blog. For me things change on the spur of the moment. I do try to keep it right diet wise though.
Her next hint was to treat yourself. She suggests that an hour with her kids, hearing them laugh makes her feel like she can conquer the world. I agree. Since my son is grown and gone however, I might go with a lengthy bubble bath, a good book or a night out with my girlfriends.
She says to visualize a sexier you. Hmmm...I found that hard but I do try to do that. I meditate often too. I find that it really does help. She also suggests refreshing your routine. She changes her workout and doesn't allow boredom to set in. I like that too. That may be a little harder for moms and dads with jobs and younger children though. Those are the rough times. Time is limited. Still, do the best you can. It has to work for you though.
That's really the secret isn't it? Finding the formula that works just right for you as an individual? I think were on the right path. It's slow but its going in the right direction. Hang in there! Start again right now-this minute if you need to. I've restarted several times as you know. Just don't give up! Find that formula! You'll be glad you did once it takes!
So I'll sign off here, reminding us all that we look as good as we can for today. Tomorrow we will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! ...and I'm right here with you... see you next blog. ;-)
My diet was right on the money food wise. Banana for breakfast, Smart Ones, and yogurt for lunch, chicken breast on a wheat bagel with lettuce and light mayonnaise for dinner. After work I stopped to purchase a new blow dryer. Mine broke mid hair yesterday morning before I went to my sons. It was over 30 years old though. Truthfully, it didn't owe me a thing. I made dinner and relaxed for a little while before I had to venture out into the cold wet wind. yup... Body conditioning class tonight. There was a quiz. I'm not sure how I did. I'll tell you when I know. It was on Weight training. I did 40 minutes on the treadmill. No euphoria I'm sad to report. Just tired.
I had a conversation about cucumbers. They are very healthy if you leave the skin on. If you leave the skin on it also alleviates the gas caused by them. They contain vitamens galore and anti- oxidants and you use up more calories eating them than is actually in them. I thought that was pretty interesting information.
There is an article in Shape magazine that caught my eye. "A body like this...with no gym" is the title. It is in the October one with Jennifer Love Hewitt on both the cover and the back cover. The woman in the article looks amazing. She is 35 and her body is fabulous...I think they should do one on a 50 year old though, but of course that is just an opinion.
Anyway, this lady stocked up her house with a treadmill, dumbbells and lots of healthy foods. So basically, her gym is at home. I think that's great.
She had several helpful hints that we all know but I will share with you anyway because I found the reminder to be a good thing. Her first helpful hint was to 'map out your menu." We've kind of been referring to this as our battle plan here on the blog. For me things change on the spur of the moment. I do try to keep it right diet wise though.
Her next hint was to treat yourself. She suggests that an hour with her kids, hearing them laugh makes her feel like she can conquer the world. I agree. Since my son is grown and gone however, I might go with a lengthy bubble bath, a good book or a night out with my girlfriends.
She says to visualize a sexier you. Hmmm...I found that hard but I do try to do that. I meditate often too. I find that it really does help. She also suggests refreshing your routine. She changes her workout and doesn't allow boredom to set in. I like that too. That may be a little harder for moms and dads with jobs and younger children though. Those are the rough times. Time is limited. Still, do the best you can. It has to work for you though.
That's really the secret isn't it? Finding the formula that works just right for you as an individual? I think were on the right path. It's slow but its going in the right direction. Hang in there! Start again right now-this minute if you need to. I've restarted several times as you know. Just don't give up! Find that formula! You'll be glad you did once it takes!
So I'll sign off here, reminding us all that we look as good as we can for today. Tomorrow we will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! ...and I'm right here with you... see you next blog. ;-)
November 22, 2009 Diet Blog
I got up fairly early considering it was my day off. I made coffee and a bagel with light butter for my husband and myself and brought it to him in bed. We talked for a little while and then got ready to go to my son's for early Thanksgiving dinner. I felt excited and happy. I couldn't wait. His wife has two complete families to deal with and so I take the backseat so as to make it easier for them. It doesn't matter what date- well...most of the time- it just matters that he's with me. It just matters that I see him.
The day began with the usual family rift. My sister-in-law called and said that my mother-in-law refused to go because no one told her. That was BS. I told her myself at the anniversary dinner; my son e-mailed me and I forward it to them and my sister-in-law told her. I felt angry. I'm just so tired of my husband's families crap sometimes. I phoned my mother-in-law and was going to say so, but she had re-thought her position and was in the shower. It's a good thing. It's been 25 years of catering to this BS. Enough....
I get nostalgic and miss my son more than ever after being together. I have so much to say, but my hubby's family are talkers and so I don't get a word in edgewise. My husband's sister all but took over. It's her personality but she was really overwhelming. She cut me off mid sentence more times than I can count. Even at the end of the night when I wanted a private moment with my son she stayed behind and wouldn't let me have it. It bothered me. I'm going to gently mention it when we talk. I'm sick of coming in last about everything. The dinner itself was great. My daughter-in-law did a nice job. It's the holiday crap that his family puts us through unnecessarily that gets to me. There's no need. Why can't everyone just be happy and nice? Why can't my sister in law remember that I miss my son and would've liked a private moment with him? It's not like I haven't discussed it at length and in depth with her....
The ride home was long and there was much traffic. My husband and I got into an argument because in my opinion he pays more attention to the radio than he does to the traffic. He almost hit a car. He says he didn't- but he did. I went right to bed upon arriving home. He stayed downstairs to watch television. The end to the day.... I flipped on the comedy channel. Larry, the Cable Guy was on with the Jeff Foxworthy group. It was his turn. I laughed at his crude jokes. I needed to laugh. By the time hubby came up I was out cold. It's Monday morning and I'm still so sad. I feel like I don't matter. Sadly- that feeling clings to me like white on rice and has throughout my lifetime. I'm going to sign off now. I'm going to meditate and try to bring myself up into a better place so my mood will change.
Like I mentioned I had a bagel with light butter for breakfast and then used portion control for the snacks and dinner. It was still too much but at least I didn't over do it. Have a good day. See you next blog. ;-)
The day began with the usual family rift. My sister-in-law called and said that my mother-in-law refused to go because no one told her. That was BS. I told her myself at the anniversary dinner; my son e-mailed me and I forward it to them and my sister-in-law told her. I felt angry. I'm just so tired of my husband's families crap sometimes. I phoned my mother-in-law and was going to say so, but she had re-thought her position and was in the shower. It's a good thing. It's been 25 years of catering to this BS. Enough....
I get nostalgic and miss my son more than ever after being together. I have so much to say, but my hubby's family are talkers and so I don't get a word in edgewise. My husband's sister all but took over. It's her personality but she was really overwhelming. She cut me off mid sentence more times than I can count. Even at the end of the night when I wanted a private moment with my son she stayed behind and wouldn't let me have it. It bothered me. I'm going to gently mention it when we talk. I'm sick of coming in last about everything. The dinner itself was great. My daughter-in-law did a nice job. It's the holiday crap that his family puts us through unnecessarily that gets to me. There's no need. Why can't everyone just be happy and nice? Why can't my sister in law remember that I miss my son and would've liked a private moment with him? It's not like I haven't discussed it at length and in depth with her....
The ride home was long and there was much traffic. My husband and I got into an argument because in my opinion he pays more attention to the radio than he does to the traffic. He almost hit a car. He says he didn't- but he did. I went right to bed upon arriving home. He stayed downstairs to watch television. The end to the day.... I flipped on the comedy channel. Larry, the Cable Guy was on with the Jeff Foxworthy group. It was his turn. I laughed at his crude jokes. I needed to laugh. By the time hubby came up I was out cold. It's Monday morning and I'm still so sad. I feel like I don't matter. Sadly- that feeling clings to me like white on rice and has throughout my lifetime. I'm going to sign off now. I'm going to meditate and try to bring myself up into a better place so my mood will change.
Like I mentioned I had a bagel with light butter for breakfast and then used portion control for the snacks and dinner. It was still too much but at least I didn't over do it. Have a good day. See you next blog. ;-)
Sunday, November 22, 2009
November 21, 2009 Diet Blog
I did the usual Saturday routine- cleaning the castle, grocery shopping etc. I dressed nicely because I wanted to feel good about myself. Later I went to my best BFF's because we were going to run some errands. While out, we stopped at the wine store for a wine tasting demonstration. We tried several different kinds and purchased some for the holidays. We also went to the fashion center mall and to Bed, Bath and Beyond.
I ended up hanging out with her until 4pm, because her youngest son's football game- the equivalent to the middle school Superbowl was at 5:30. My husband and I were going to attend, of course. We had to get ready, meaning warm clothes. My Godson is one of the youngest boys picked for the team as a fifth grader. He is the center. He snaps or hikes the ball and basically bowls over the bigger kids on the front line of the other team. He was in for the entire game as opposed to his high school brother who blew out a knee and was benched.
I have to be honest and repeat yesterday's take on the situation; admitting that I am new to the football world. Truthfully, I went because I love them-because I've watched them grow and because I believe in supporting children-especially those that have a dwelling place in my heart. That being said- it was a very exciting game.
I found myself yelling and cheering along with what I once would have described as the loud, obnoxious parents. In the last 54 seconds of the game, my Godson's team made a touchdown out of no where! The crowd- and we went wild. It turned out to be the winning touchdown of the game. They won the Superbowl two years in a row. Last year I was very sick so I did not see. This year, I am well. Thank heaven I got to be there.
My entire body aches from the cold of two nights and sitting outside in it. My husband is also achy. We both passed out right away, which is why I'm writing the blog this morning- Sunday morning.
I got the paperwork for the bead behind the ears diet to use for my paper. I'm going to compare and contrast several diets to the food pyramid put out by the American Medical Association. I'm using Atkins diet as well- an idea of my coworkers, and the weight watcher's diet plan. I'm going to use that same coworkers book on healing foods too. The paper should be good. I'm interested in the subject matter and that's always a plus. I will try to post it for you but I am unsure if I will be able to do that.
You may or may not have noticed that I finally figured out how to get a picture up for you to see. It's a decieving picture though. I had my make up professionally done and my hair had just been done at the beauty salon. It's the only one I could figure out how to put up though, so at least you can see what I look like done up. Hope you like it.
I had a bagel with light butter for breakfast- no snacks, no lunch. I had multi grain noodles in sauce for dinner. A big hot chocolate at the game and tasted wines. Not a good diet day. Dinner at my son's on Sunday. This will be our Thanksgiving. See you next blog! ;-)
I ended up hanging out with her until 4pm, because her youngest son's football game- the equivalent to the middle school Superbowl was at 5:30. My husband and I were going to attend, of course. We had to get ready, meaning warm clothes. My Godson is one of the youngest boys picked for the team as a fifth grader. He is the center. He snaps or hikes the ball and basically bowls over the bigger kids on the front line of the other team. He was in for the entire game as opposed to his high school brother who blew out a knee and was benched.
I have to be honest and repeat yesterday's take on the situation; admitting that I am new to the football world. Truthfully, I went because I love them-because I've watched them grow and because I believe in supporting children-especially those that have a dwelling place in my heart. That being said- it was a very exciting game.
I found myself yelling and cheering along with what I once would have described as the loud, obnoxious parents. In the last 54 seconds of the game, my Godson's team made a touchdown out of no where! The crowd- and we went wild. It turned out to be the winning touchdown of the game. They won the Superbowl two years in a row. Last year I was very sick so I did not see. This year, I am well. Thank heaven I got to be there.
My entire body aches from the cold of two nights and sitting outside in it. My husband is also achy. We both passed out right away, which is why I'm writing the blog this morning- Sunday morning.
I got the paperwork for the bead behind the ears diet to use for my paper. I'm going to compare and contrast several diets to the food pyramid put out by the American Medical Association. I'm using Atkins diet as well- an idea of my coworkers, and the weight watcher's diet plan. I'm going to use that same coworkers book on healing foods too. The paper should be good. I'm interested in the subject matter and that's always a plus. I will try to post it for you but I am unsure if I will be able to do that.
You may or may not have noticed that I finally figured out how to get a picture up for you to see. It's a decieving picture though. I had my make up professionally done and my hair had just been done at the beauty salon. It's the only one I could figure out how to put up though, so at least you can see what I look like done up. Hope you like it.
I had a bagel with light butter for breakfast- no snacks, no lunch. I had multi grain noodles in sauce for dinner. A big hot chocolate at the game and tasted wines. Not a good diet day. Dinner at my son's on Sunday. This will be our Thanksgiving. See you next blog! ;-)
Saturday, November 21, 2009
November 20, 2009 Diet Blog
It was a wild and woolly day at the OK coral folks! We were steady at work but not overwhelming. It was several events that took place that left my mind reeling today. My co-worker got a book on Healing Foods. That was amazing because we are learning about basic nutrition in the body conditioning class. It was interesting to flip through it. She is going to lend it to me to help with a paper that I am writing.
I met the owner of a very prominent beauty school in Hackensack. He approached the desk and asked for me by my first name. He wanted to know if I was her. I said yes. He told me how helpful I had been and gave me nice praise. I told him that he had made my day. We got to talking and he told me about the beauty school. Coincidentally- if you believe in coincidences, my sister in law studied there about 30 years ago. She did nails for a living until she had the two children.
He went on to mention that he is also a motivational speaker. He gave us an example of how he could change the atmosphere in the room just by his facial expression. He was right. If he had come in looking like that I would've crawled under the desk or at the very least misjudged him. His sister came in and joined the conversation. The beauty academy not only adheres to people's beauty on the outside, they are very concerned with people's health and well being... beauty on the inside, so to speak. He gave several examples; one of which was that all of his schools are maintained on 'smoke free campuses now.' No smoking. I think that's awesome.
The conversation somehow twisted into becoming well known and famous and my pending book came to light. My co-worker couldn't wait to chime in with the knowledge she possesses regarding that faction of my life. She's totally cute that way and I don't mind at all. It's nice and in this case it led to more. It started with an innocent remark by me about turning on the television set and seeing my face there too as they were leaving. It was more along the lines of a joke- something I always say. They stopped cold and the conversation revved up again.
The moment bubbled with excitement and I ended up giving them my name, my e-mail and promising to sign books for them- possibly a signing at the chamber of commerce, who they are affiliated closely with and two small book clubs that his sister attends. My co-worker gave them a card and wrote my name on it just to make sure that they could find me when the time comes that the book hits the shelves. They took both. It was great.
Later a third co-worker approached me and needed to talk in private. I am close to this co- worker- but not at that level usually. We talk in depth but usually at lunch; once in awhile by phone or text. I, of course made the time. We tag teamed a few times and then finally we walked out of the building together.
Before I found out the actual story the other co- worker and I speculated about different scenarios as to what it could be. I was pleasantly surprised to hear that she got high praise from both the supervisor and our Judge. She's been recently promoted and is in the throws of learning the new position; one she richly deserved. She was so happy and so excited. She just wanted to share it with somebody she knew was in her corner. It's not like we can make a big deal of it at work. It's just not done that way. But I'm as happy for her as she is for herself. That was much better news than the speculations we had come up with. Whew!
After work I headed right to the nail salon. The owner has began reading her manuscript. She has the book that is my mother's favorite. My manicurist didn't start hers yet- but that's fine with me. It's the holiday season. I don't have time either. I told her that it is hers to keep. Read it whenever.... no pressure here....
From there I went to my best BFF's son's football game. The Superbowl for High School. They lost but I have to tell you, it was an exciting game. I'm not really up on football, and I found it very confusing in spots, but I got the fact that its about taking ground and about time on the clock; and the ball being carried across the line at the end of the field to get points. Tomorrow is my best BFF's youngest son's game. (She has three boys and one girl.) Also the Superbowl for him. He is my Godson. I go to most of his things. I promised to be there. He is such a little athlete. Best BFF only gives birth to champions.
During the game I got text's from my co-worker, youngest sister and my Blairstown BFF. My co-worker wanted the 'sit-rap' on the reason I was called away to speak to the third co-worker. I proudly gave her the explanation. She too was happy. The last two texts were bad news. Blairstown BFF lost her job and my baby sister had a personal issue; one that made her cry. She doesn't cry easily. I called her first as soon as the game was over. The situation angered me but I'm helpless to do anything but listen. I called her immediately after the game, as soon as I got into my car and we talked until the wee hours. Hopefully it helped.
I will have to call Blairstown BFF Saturday to talk to her. We text for a bit but she really needed to talk and I was seriously unable to. It was a loud football game and I needed to pay attention. I could barely hear myself think, much less someone on the phone. I'm sure that she understood but I still felt ripped up inside. I want to be there for all of the people I love. Sometimes it's just impossible though.
I crawled into bed suffering from great exhaustion. I've been having repeat dreams starring my mother and another co-worker that I know and like but have no real relationship with other than that. I'm not sure why but I feel they are connected and it's a lesson that I'm to be taught. For whatever reason I have to work for this one. I have to make the connection. It's the same people with different but similar scenarios taking place....
I'll sign off on that note. I've got much to accomplish before Saturday night's football game and the trip to my son's for Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday. Real Thanksgiving and real Christmas is split between his wife's two families. I concede and don't argue the point because I understand 'broken family' only too well. Plus I love my son and would never intentionally make him upset. My daughter in law could've done worse in the mother in law department- that's for sure. Most mom's would fight for at least one holiday with their only child...I just accept whatever date they can give me. Sadly, I don't think it's something she'll ever really know; meaning that she's got a good deal with me as her husband's mom, because my son is her very first boyfriend.... there is nothing to compare me to....maybe her friend's will tell her....anyway- Before I forget- I'm sad to report that I had no breakfast and no snacks. I had smart ones-carrot sticks- grapes and yogurt for lunch and had dinner in the wee hours of the morning; a smart ones pizza. Bad food day- but so much was going on....
Have a great day! See you next Blog! Remember: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. You are not alone. I'm right here.... ;-)
I met the owner of a very prominent beauty school in Hackensack. He approached the desk and asked for me by my first name. He wanted to know if I was her. I said yes. He told me how helpful I had been and gave me nice praise. I told him that he had made my day. We got to talking and he told me about the beauty school. Coincidentally- if you believe in coincidences, my sister in law studied there about 30 years ago. She did nails for a living until she had the two children.
He went on to mention that he is also a motivational speaker. He gave us an example of how he could change the atmosphere in the room just by his facial expression. He was right. If he had come in looking like that I would've crawled under the desk or at the very least misjudged him. His sister came in and joined the conversation. The beauty academy not only adheres to people's beauty on the outside, they are very concerned with people's health and well being... beauty on the inside, so to speak. He gave several examples; one of which was that all of his schools are maintained on 'smoke free campuses now.' No smoking. I think that's awesome.
The conversation somehow twisted into becoming well known and famous and my pending book came to light. My co-worker couldn't wait to chime in with the knowledge she possesses regarding that faction of my life. She's totally cute that way and I don't mind at all. It's nice and in this case it led to more. It started with an innocent remark by me about turning on the television set and seeing my face there too as they were leaving. It was more along the lines of a joke- something I always say. They stopped cold and the conversation revved up again.
The moment bubbled with excitement and I ended up giving them my name, my e-mail and promising to sign books for them- possibly a signing at the chamber of commerce, who they are affiliated closely with and two small book clubs that his sister attends. My co-worker gave them a card and wrote my name on it just to make sure that they could find me when the time comes that the book hits the shelves. They took both. It was great.
Later a third co-worker approached me and needed to talk in private. I am close to this co- worker- but not at that level usually. We talk in depth but usually at lunch; once in awhile by phone or text. I, of course made the time. We tag teamed a few times and then finally we walked out of the building together.
Before I found out the actual story the other co- worker and I speculated about different scenarios as to what it could be. I was pleasantly surprised to hear that she got high praise from both the supervisor and our Judge. She's been recently promoted and is in the throws of learning the new position; one she richly deserved. She was so happy and so excited. She just wanted to share it with somebody she knew was in her corner. It's not like we can make a big deal of it at work. It's just not done that way. But I'm as happy for her as she is for herself. That was much better news than the speculations we had come up with. Whew!
After work I headed right to the nail salon. The owner has began reading her manuscript. She has the book that is my mother's favorite. My manicurist didn't start hers yet- but that's fine with me. It's the holiday season. I don't have time either. I told her that it is hers to keep. Read it whenever.... no pressure here....
From there I went to my best BFF's son's football game. The Superbowl for High School. They lost but I have to tell you, it was an exciting game. I'm not really up on football, and I found it very confusing in spots, but I got the fact that its about taking ground and about time on the clock; and the ball being carried across the line at the end of the field to get points. Tomorrow is my best BFF's youngest son's game. (She has three boys and one girl.) Also the Superbowl for him. He is my Godson. I go to most of his things. I promised to be there. He is such a little athlete. Best BFF only gives birth to champions.
During the game I got text's from my co-worker, youngest sister and my Blairstown BFF. My co-worker wanted the 'sit-rap' on the reason I was called away to speak to the third co-worker. I proudly gave her the explanation. She too was happy. The last two texts were bad news. Blairstown BFF lost her job and my baby sister had a personal issue; one that made her cry. She doesn't cry easily. I called her first as soon as the game was over. The situation angered me but I'm helpless to do anything but listen. I called her immediately after the game, as soon as I got into my car and we talked until the wee hours. Hopefully it helped.
I will have to call Blairstown BFF Saturday to talk to her. We text for a bit but she really needed to talk and I was seriously unable to. It was a loud football game and I needed to pay attention. I could barely hear myself think, much less someone on the phone. I'm sure that she understood but I still felt ripped up inside. I want to be there for all of the people I love. Sometimes it's just impossible though.
I crawled into bed suffering from great exhaustion. I've been having repeat dreams starring my mother and another co-worker that I know and like but have no real relationship with other than that. I'm not sure why but I feel they are connected and it's a lesson that I'm to be taught. For whatever reason I have to work for this one. I have to make the connection. It's the same people with different but similar scenarios taking place....
I'll sign off on that note. I've got much to accomplish before Saturday night's football game and the trip to my son's for Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday. Real Thanksgiving and real Christmas is split between his wife's two families. I concede and don't argue the point because I understand 'broken family' only too well. Plus I love my son and would never intentionally make him upset. My daughter in law could've done worse in the mother in law department- that's for sure. Most mom's would fight for at least one holiday with their only child...I just accept whatever date they can give me. Sadly, I don't think it's something she'll ever really know; meaning that she's got a good deal with me as her husband's mom, because my son is her very first boyfriend.... there is nothing to compare me to....maybe her friend's will tell her....anyway- Before I forget- I'm sad to report that I had no breakfast and no snacks. I had smart ones-carrot sticks- grapes and yogurt for lunch and had dinner in the wee hours of the morning; a smart ones pizza. Bad food day- but so much was going on....
Have a great day! See you next Blog! Remember: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. You are not alone. I'm right here.... ;-)
Thursday, November 19, 2009
November 19, 2009 Diet Blog
I'm having so many thoughts that I can't get one down in type before another fills my mind. My co-worker told me that yesterday's blog made her feel sad. I didn't mean to make her feel that way. I don't want anyone to be sad. I just try to get my crazy emotional turmoil on the blog so that others in the same boat as me know that they are not alone.
Dieting is a rough thing- especially when you're drug of choice and comfort is bad foods. It's an addiction of sorts, like any other I'd imagine. No one wants it. We certainly wouldn't choose it, yet we cannot seem to help ourselves without actually formulating a battle plan or seeking out help... just like medically acknowledged addictions.
This economy makes money to spend on frivolous things a non-entity- at least for me. Those two things combined, plus my desire to support and be supported by others brought this blog to life. The growth pattern is a slow one, but it is growing. Reaching out to others and joining forces is what it's about for me. In order to accomplish that I need to give you the facts. The lives of people effect them negatively or positively- diet or 'drug of choice' -wise. I hope others will identify and it will give all of us a fighting chance through give and take of our ideas.
What made her sad is the fact that I think people see me as a fat person; That I feel that my weight is pretty much all that people see. I do feel that way. That's not to include those people that know me. To quote a good friend, 'they see me through heart shaped eyes.' They see whose locked away under all of the layers...or at least part of her. But really, people that don't know me? Of course all they see is the physical, fat- not cute...me.
My co worker disagreed quite agressively, though sweetly and then as if in a defiant act- the universe joined cosmic forces with her and proved her point. Nope- I'm not kidding.
An older gentleman with a cane came into our court. He was an attorney. He needed to use the bathroom. It is a good distance away and because of his walking issue, he asked if he could leave his brief case behind. I offered to keep it behind the desk. I'm not sure how it came about because I was so stunned by it- but the gentleman told me that I was good looking. I remember that part- but why he told me that is cloudy. (Maybe she'll add it in the comments section...I really have no recollection.) After I scooped my jaw up off of the floor she had plenty to say. It was so funny....
Anyway, my co-worker felt completely vindicated. She was positive that the world saw me different from the opinion that I have. I still disagreed- but with a whole lot less noise, I'll tell you that.... The timing was so odd. (Thank you Angels.)
I'm not sure what I think. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle sometimes and other times I'm sure that I can beat it. I'm still looking for the right answer. I know that its not in a pill or in surgery or in spending an absurd amount of money that I just don't have-at least not for me. I don't knock it for anyone else- whatever works for them, I'm great with! For me though- the reality of it is that I have to figure out how to fit it to me or I'll never be able to maintain it. So far its a slow and painful process. Hell-I wish I could drop 50 pounds overnight...but again, there's that reality thing going on. I had to start at one and go from there. I'll keep you posted as I crawl along. Please keep me posted too in the comment section. I'd love to hear.
For breakfast I had grapes- no 10am snack, for lunch I had smart ones, carrot sticks and yogurt, no 3pm snack, and for dinner I had real pizza. I had crystal light lemonade with it.
I'll sign off here because I still need to think about revamping my feelings about myself. I'm not sure if I'll ever see myself any different, but I will definitely give it some thought. See you next blog. ;-)
Dieting is a rough thing- especially when you're drug of choice and comfort is bad foods. It's an addiction of sorts, like any other I'd imagine. No one wants it. We certainly wouldn't choose it, yet we cannot seem to help ourselves without actually formulating a battle plan or seeking out help... just like medically acknowledged addictions.
This economy makes money to spend on frivolous things a non-entity- at least for me. Those two things combined, plus my desire to support and be supported by others brought this blog to life. The growth pattern is a slow one, but it is growing. Reaching out to others and joining forces is what it's about for me. In order to accomplish that I need to give you the facts. The lives of people effect them negatively or positively- diet or 'drug of choice' -wise. I hope others will identify and it will give all of us a fighting chance through give and take of our ideas.
What made her sad is the fact that I think people see me as a fat person; That I feel that my weight is pretty much all that people see. I do feel that way. That's not to include those people that know me. To quote a good friend, 'they see me through heart shaped eyes.' They see whose locked away under all of the layers...or at least part of her. But really, people that don't know me? Of course all they see is the physical, fat- not cute...me.
My co worker disagreed quite agressively, though sweetly and then as if in a defiant act- the universe joined cosmic forces with her and proved her point. Nope- I'm not kidding.
An older gentleman with a cane came into our court. He was an attorney. He needed to use the bathroom. It is a good distance away and because of his walking issue, he asked if he could leave his brief case behind. I offered to keep it behind the desk. I'm not sure how it came about because I was so stunned by it- but the gentleman told me that I was good looking. I remember that part- but why he told me that is cloudy. (Maybe she'll add it in the comments section...I really have no recollection.) After I scooped my jaw up off of the floor she had plenty to say. It was so funny....
Anyway, my co-worker felt completely vindicated. She was positive that the world saw me different from the opinion that I have. I still disagreed- but with a whole lot less noise, I'll tell you that.... The timing was so odd. (Thank you Angels.)
I'm not sure what I think. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle sometimes and other times I'm sure that I can beat it. I'm still looking for the right answer. I know that its not in a pill or in surgery or in spending an absurd amount of money that I just don't have-at least not for me. I don't knock it for anyone else- whatever works for them, I'm great with! For me though- the reality of it is that I have to figure out how to fit it to me or I'll never be able to maintain it. So far its a slow and painful process. Hell-I wish I could drop 50 pounds overnight...but again, there's that reality thing going on. I had to start at one and go from there. I'll keep you posted as I crawl along. Please keep me posted too in the comment section. I'd love to hear.
For breakfast I had grapes- no 10am snack, for lunch I had smart ones, carrot sticks and yogurt, no 3pm snack, and for dinner I had real pizza. I had crystal light lemonade with it.
I'll sign off here because I still need to think about revamping my feelings about myself. I'm not sure if I'll ever see myself any different, but I will definitely give it some thought. See you next blog. ;-)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
November 18, 2009 Diet Blog
I'm just in from Body Conditioning class. I did 40 minutes on the treadmill at 3.0 speed and 1.5 incline. I broke one hell of a sweat! I haven't felt this satisfied since karate! I always loved this feeling. The sense of accomplishment- the aftermath- the euphoria...it's wonderful.
I had a good day food-wise too. I actually forgot to eat breakfast. I left it in the microwave. I had 6 silver dollar size rice cakes at 10am. I had smart ones, carrot sticks, yogurt and grapes for lunch. No 3pm snack. Dinner was peanut butter on a bagel.
We learned all about nutrition in the class part of body conditioning. The old pyramid is what she believes is the best way to diet. Proper nutrition and exercise is the key. We knew that though. We just get so busy that it gets put on the back burner sometimes- or sometimes we're just too darn tired to follow what we know is best. For the record, I'm proud of us. Tomorrow when you tell your reflection something positive feel free to add that your friendly neighborhood diet blogger is very proud of you. Its hard and we mess up sometimes, but we haven't given up...that says something.
The depression from yesterday followed me into the morning though I tried to keep it hidden from my fellow workers. I did gain some karmic ground-(so to speak) today though. A neighbor of the telephone man that I am now on a close personal first name basis with came into court. She needed a certified copy of a certain document. I got it all ready, and the invoice typed while telephone guy left to go about his business. The poor neighbor then discovered that she had forgotten her wallet. Not only could she not pay the $5 for the document, she couldn't get her car out of the parking lot. I'm not wealthy but I had exactly $8 in my purse. It covered her needs and she went on her way. I'm a little worried because I have to go to Friday with absolutely no cash on me- but I helped out a fellow human being so I think it is worth the risk. Besides- I don't think she'll remember me as the fat lady behind the desk...I think it will be as the nice lady who helped her out in an embarrassing parking lot dilemma.
The second thing was another lady that came to the wrong court. She was pushing her mother around in the wheel chair on a wild goose chase- being sent back and forth from one side of the enormous court house to the other. I phoned her attorney who called back after she had gone to the first floor to try there. I chased her down and literally stayed with them until we found the correct room. Once I had the judges name it was a little bit easier. It still took awhile. She actually hugged me at the door to the correct court.... Another two people on this planet who aren't looking at me and seeing a fat woman. They are seeing a good heart. That's instant karma right there! I feel a little better knowing that.
My coworker says I take things to personally about the public getting so nasty. She is right. I just don't think I can change that about me though. Believe me I've tried. I'd love for it all to just slide off like nothing or to climb on my broom and buzz around for awhile if you get my drift...it's just not in my make up. I'm accused of being a doormat by two people whose opinions I highly value. It's true. I hate confrontation. That's not to say that I don't get my dander up when I've had enough but when I do it's because they pushed my buttons and that gets me upset...not just with them but more with myself. Sigh...I'm one big ball of electrified emotion huh? If you have a story or an idea or a way to change it please let me know! Its good karma.... ;-)
I'm going to sign off on that note. Remember you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. I'm with you...see you next blog. ;-)
I had a good day food-wise too. I actually forgot to eat breakfast. I left it in the microwave. I had 6 silver dollar size rice cakes at 10am. I had smart ones, carrot sticks, yogurt and grapes for lunch. No 3pm snack. Dinner was peanut butter on a bagel.
We learned all about nutrition in the class part of body conditioning. The old pyramid is what she believes is the best way to diet. Proper nutrition and exercise is the key. We knew that though. We just get so busy that it gets put on the back burner sometimes- or sometimes we're just too darn tired to follow what we know is best. For the record, I'm proud of us. Tomorrow when you tell your reflection something positive feel free to add that your friendly neighborhood diet blogger is very proud of you. Its hard and we mess up sometimes, but we haven't given up...that says something.
The depression from yesterday followed me into the morning though I tried to keep it hidden from my fellow workers. I did gain some karmic ground-(so to speak) today though. A neighbor of the telephone man that I am now on a close personal first name basis with came into court. She needed a certified copy of a certain document. I got it all ready, and the invoice typed while telephone guy left to go about his business. The poor neighbor then discovered that she had forgotten her wallet. Not only could she not pay the $5 for the document, she couldn't get her car out of the parking lot. I'm not wealthy but I had exactly $8 in my purse. It covered her needs and she went on her way. I'm a little worried because I have to go to Friday with absolutely no cash on me- but I helped out a fellow human being so I think it is worth the risk. Besides- I don't think she'll remember me as the fat lady behind the desk...I think it will be as the nice lady who helped her out in an embarrassing parking lot dilemma.
The second thing was another lady that came to the wrong court. She was pushing her mother around in the wheel chair on a wild goose chase- being sent back and forth from one side of the enormous court house to the other. I phoned her attorney who called back after she had gone to the first floor to try there. I chased her down and literally stayed with them until we found the correct room. Once I had the judges name it was a little bit easier. It still took awhile. She actually hugged me at the door to the correct court.... Another two people on this planet who aren't looking at me and seeing a fat woman. They are seeing a good heart. That's instant karma right there! I feel a little better knowing that.
My coworker says I take things to personally about the public getting so nasty. She is right. I just don't think I can change that about me though. Believe me I've tried. I'd love for it all to just slide off like nothing or to climb on my broom and buzz around for awhile if you get my drift...it's just not in my make up. I'm accused of being a doormat by two people whose opinions I highly value. It's true. I hate confrontation. That's not to say that I don't get my dander up when I've had enough but when I do it's because they pushed my buttons and that gets me upset...not just with them but more with myself. Sigh...I'm one big ball of electrified emotion huh? If you have a story or an idea or a way to change it please let me know! Its good karma.... ;-)
I'm going to sign off on that note. Remember you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. I'm with you...see you next blog. ;-)
November 17, 2009 Diet Blog
Did you ever hear the expression 'over worked and under paid?' Well it fit today along with under valued, under appreciated and under dog. The day started out at 8:31am with a person nasty to me because they dialed the wrong number. (yes really. THEY dialed me by mistake.) At first I politely tried to give them the correct number but they really felt the need to yell at me first. I gave the number and reminded them that I had no control over who phones me. I was stern but polite. I was upset though. They were very rude and crude. That call ended and the very next call was someone calling the court when they were in serious need of a lawyer.... He cursed me out using the 'F' word among other lovely things and my day continued in that fashion.
My coworker was out and the girl covering me is pregnant-about 6 weeks along I think. She's had multiple troubles in this area including several miscarriages. I didn't want her upset. I told her that. She promised that she would hold it together. Thankfully, my lunch break proved to be an easy hour thank heaven. She said it was very slow. As if by radar it got 'nutziod' again when I returned. So much so that she left for her lunch late because she couldn't pass along the information that I needed. Finally, she gave up and wrote it down. I'm just so glad that she was okay.
The afternoon literally had no breathing space between phone calls- most everyone was agitated. Just when I was ready to launch the phone out the window- a woman that I had helped emerged from a booth and told me specifically, using my name how wonderful I was with her and how comforted she felt after dealing with me. She thanked me. I damn near cried.
I was very glad to see 4:30 come. When I got home hubby was fixing the shower. He sat me down to discuss a home equity loan so that we can fix up the entire house- beginning with the bathroom. It's been at least 20 years since we did anything. We have no mortgage anymore- just taxes so I agreed and think its time. No children- no mortgage- it will bring up the value of our home...okay. I'm in.
I had a weight watchers chocolate 1 point cake for breakfast- the last one. I had smart ones, carrot sticks, grapes and yogurt for lunch no snacks, multi grain noodles in sauce for dinner. I feel so 'off' though.
I'm not depressed- but I am. I can't put my finger on it. My mind is racing. My hubby fell asleep early and so I felt all alone. Tears rolled down my cheeks- although there's really nothing wrong. I feel so lonely... almost like 'is this it?' I wonder if females have mid-life crisis...and if it lasts longer than a day?
I'll sign off here. Remember, you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive...and remember too- I'm right here. Were in this together. ;-)
My coworker was out and the girl covering me is pregnant-about 6 weeks along I think. She's had multiple troubles in this area including several miscarriages. I didn't want her upset. I told her that. She promised that she would hold it together. Thankfully, my lunch break proved to be an easy hour thank heaven. She said it was very slow. As if by radar it got 'nutziod' again when I returned. So much so that she left for her lunch late because she couldn't pass along the information that I needed. Finally, she gave up and wrote it down. I'm just so glad that she was okay.
The afternoon literally had no breathing space between phone calls- most everyone was agitated. Just when I was ready to launch the phone out the window- a woman that I had helped emerged from a booth and told me specifically, using my name how wonderful I was with her and how comforted she felt after dealing with me. She thanked me. I damn near cried.
I was very glad to see 4:30 come. When I got home hubby was fixing the shower. He sat me down to discuss a home equity loan so that we can fix up the entire house- beginning with the bathroom. It's been at least 20 years since we did anything. We have no mortgage anymore- just taxes so I agreed and think its time. No children- no mortgage- it will bring up the value of our home...okay. I'm in.
I had a weight watchers chocolate 1 point cake for breakfast- the last one. I had smart ones, carrot sticks, grapes and yogurt for lunch no snacks, multi grain noodles in sauce for dinner. I feel so 'off' though.
I'm not depressed- but I am. I can't put my finger on it. My mind is racing. My hubby fell asleep early and so I felt all alone. Tears rolled down my cheeks- although there's really nothing wrong. I feel so lonely... almost like 'is this it?' I wonder if females have mid-life crisis...and if it lasts longer than a day?
I'll sign off here. Remember, you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive...and remember too- I'm right here. Were in this together. ;-)
Monday, November 16, 2009
November 16, 2009 Diet Blog
It was business as usual as Monday began and we were off to the races with clients and phone calls. I proudly showed off the phone pictures of my nephew and the Spider Cake. The girls at work were so cute about it. They acted impressed even though they could probably bake circles around me. Still, it was very cool to be me today.
For breakfast I had weight watchers one point choc cake and coffee. For lunch, chicken breast, carrot sticks, grapes and lite n fit yogurt. No snacks. For dinner I had chicken breast and green beans and then I was off to body conditioning class where I did 30 minutes at 2.8 speed and the last 10 minutes at 3.0 speed. I was quite proud of myself.
Sadly- pride goeth before the fall...sigh. Hubby and his diving pal decided that they wanted to go out to eat. Hubby had eaten with me so I was surprised. Anyway- to make a long story short- the passenger seat goes where the driver seat goes and it went to a Mexican restaurant.
Chips, salsa and a big diet coke came first. I tried to control it but I had too many. Hubby and I split a chicken Quesadea. It was delicious. I knew I was doing the wrong thing but literally couldn't stop myself. I'm not sure why. The only emotions were good ones- not stress or any of those things...gees...I guess I just want to be like everyone else sometimes. I didn't have an entree...at least I controlled that much.
Body conditioning class was interesting. They talked about nutrition and that the minimum caloric intake for dieting men should be 1500 calories per day, and women should be 1200 calories per day. She explained intake vs expenditure of calories. The body needs to expend approx 3500 calories to lose 1 pound. The body naturally uses anywhere from 2000-2500 calories just to function through out each day. That leaves 100o-1500 left plus whatever your intake is to burn off. To lose fat you must be negative 500 calories per day to lose 1 pound a week. Whew! My head was spinning. Elliptical or aerobic exercise burns 3-500 calories in an hours time. So if we exercise for an hour a day and burn 500 more calories than we intake that should cause weight loss success at about 2 pounds per week which is the correct way to do it. It was a very interesting discussion.
I'm heading for a hot shower and some shut eye. I am mad at myself. Not only was I weak at the restaurant - I enjoyed it. I thought about it and did it anyway. It's all about desire. How much do I want it? What will I do to get it? I do want it. I'm going to have to stay in mode if I'm ever going to attain my goal of successful weight loss. How the heck does one stay strong? Where was my stupid will power? Anyone understand what happened here? There's no excuse. I just threw in the damn towel.... I'm going to pull it together tomorrow.
Remember: We look as good as we can for today. Tomorrow we will look that much better. We can't let our perception of our bodies keep us from having a good time. We MUST stay positive...and FOCUS! Have a great night. See you next blog. ;-)
For breakfast I had weight watchers one point choc cake and coffee. For lunch, chicken breast, carrot sticks, grapes and lite n fit yogurt. No snacks. For dinner I had chicken breast and green beans and then I was off to body conditioning class where I did 30 minutes at 2.8 speed and the last 10 minutes at 3.0 speed. I was quite proud of myself.
Sadly- pride goeth before the fall...sigh. Hubby and his diving pal decided that they wanted to go out to eat. Hubby had eaten with me so I was surprised. Anyway- to make a long story short- the passenger seat goes where the driver seat goes and it went to a Mexican restaurant.
Chips, salsa and a big diet coke came first. I tried to control it but I had too many. Hubby and I split a chicken Quesadea. It was delicious. I knew I was doing the wrong thing but literally couldn't stop myself. I'm not sure why. The only emotions were good ones- not stress or any of those things...gees...I guess I just want to be like everyone else sometimes. I didn't have an entree...at least I controlled that much.
Body conditioning class was interesting. They talked about nutrition and that the minimum caloric intake for dieting men should be 1500 calories per day, and women should be 1200 calories per day. She explained intake vs expenditure of calories. The body needs to expend approx 3500 calories to lose 1 pound. The body naturally uses anywhere from 2000-2500 calories just to function through out each day. That leaves 100o-1500 left plus whatever your intake is to burn off. To lose fat you must be negative 500 calories per day to lose 1 pound a week. Whew! My head was spinning. Elliptical or aerobic exercise burns 3-500 calories in an hours time. So if we exercise for an hour a day and burn 500 more calories than we intake that should cause weight loss success at about 2 pounds per week which is the correct way to do it. It was a very interesting discussion.
I'm heading for a hot shower and some shut eye. I am mad at myself. Not only was I weak at the restaurant - I enjoyed it. I thought about it and did it anyway. It's all about desire. How much do I want it? What will I do to get it? I do want it. I'm going to have to stay in mode if I'm ever going to attain my goal of successful weight loss. How the heck does one stay strong? Where was my stupid will power? Anyone understand what happened here? There's no excuse. I just threw in the damn towel.... I'm going to pull it together tomorrow.
Remember: We look as good as we can for today. Tomorrow we will look that much better. We can't let our perception of our bodies keep us from having a good time. We MUST stay positive...and FOCUS! Have a great night. See you next blog. ;-)
Sunday, November 15, 2009
November 12-15...What a whirlwind...
Okay, so I've been off for several days because of my extremely hectic schedule. Let me begin by adding that whirlwind weekends are very bad for dieting. I knew it was coming but had no battle plan because I didn't realize the extent of the tiredness that would occur. Allow me to elaborate....
On Thursday the daily grind went much like it has been going. Very busy days...a couple of 'full moons' for lack of better terminology to fit the situation and welcoming 4;30 with the catching of my breath and wiping sweat from my brow. My husband was leaving for Key Largo with his students so packing for that was on the evening agenda. That took some doing but we got through it in a frustrating, agitated manner. Stress was prevalent but still I was able to maintain focus on my battle of the bulge.
At 3am the alarm rang because I had to get my husband to the airport by 4am for his 6am flight. Let me just say here that I think it is ridiculous to expect people to be at the airport two hours before a flight. I would understand an hour...but we follow rules no matter how stupid they are. I dragged myself out of bed, got a shower collected my husband who was doing last minute things and putting the suitcases in the car and we were off. I got home from dropping him off at approximately 5am and tried to lay down for a little while before work. That was futile.
I dragged myself into work on time and had another grueling day. Thank heaven it was so busy though; there wasn't time to take a deep breath, never mind remember how tired I was. 4:30 came not a moment too soon. From there I went home and prepared the items needed to bake the father/son cake with my nephew for the cub scouts. He came over at six. We had a heavy duty talk about his father. I was surprised that he chose to come to me with questions. I always assumed that it would be my husband. I answered them honestly- without lying. I thought my answers out and even I was astounded that the right answers came and they were both forgiving and soothing to the child. I believe the answers were divinely inspired. The Lord talked to that little boy through me as we worked side by side creating the spider cake. There's no other explanation.
He left me around 8:30pm. I cleaned up the kitchen and literally fell into bed. I awoke with pajama bottoms on, my work blouse and one sock on me as the leg with the sock hung over the side of the made bed. I guess that I can safely say that I was exhausted.
Friday's work went well. Steady but not overwhelming work and clients filled the hours and the day was over in no time flat. I still clung to my diet and this is where it went sour. After work was the Cub Scouts bake off contest. Needless to say, I couldn't miss that. I put off going to see my younger sister until Saturday just to be there for my nephew. I had to. Especially after the things we talked about and the depth of them. I love that child.
Anyway- the cakes there before us were absolute works of art. Ours was good- but clearly done by the sweet hands of my eleven year old nephew. In my mind that was the way a real boy scout would behave. you know...honesty-truth...that type of thing? I had him do it with me guiding. There was no way that these pieces of art were done that way. My heart ached and I truly cursed myself for the mistake that I believed costed the child a spot in the winning circle. My sister in law said it before I did. I understood. I felt as if I'd let everyone down though- not that they said or meant it. I just felt that way.
As we heard each cake of the ten categories called, and saw each magnificent piece of art brought up for applause my heart sank into my stomach. The final award given was called the Judges Choice Award. It was First Place and the winner got the coveted big mixing spoon that can be found in most every kitchen on the planet. The drum roll went out and you could've knocked me over with a feather when they announced the Spider Cake by my nephew as the winner! I just sat there clapping and thanking the angels. I damn near cried- as silly as that sounds. The lesson learned here was by me. Honesty and truth....Maybe I should've been a boy scout. ;-)
My nephew then asked me to come over to his house and have cake. Obviously I wouldn't turn that down. It was as good as it was amazing that he won. I blew the diet but to be perfectly truthful- it didn't matter. He was so beyond happy. It's the first time I've seen that in him since the death of his father last May. He smiles- don't get me wrong- but the glimmer in his eyes was back- I'm not sure how to explain....
I went out that night with my friend to karaoke. It was karaoke buddy's girlfriend. She needed to talk. Her brother passed away last week; not unexpectedly but it is still a blow- she needed a friend. I provided one. We talked until the wee hours of the morning.
Saturday morning I went to see my younger sister. She has been sick herself. She literally could not walk without pain. It was impossible. As the mother of three teens, a nurses aide full time and a college student of nursing she needs to walk. I went out to see if I could help. I grocery shopped for her. Drove her where she needed to go and then took she and her daughter to see the Michael Jackson movie "This is it," which was both nostalgic and so very sad.
We spent the rest of the night watching television, talking and laughing. Our diet was awful. I had to go with portion control. I didn't really succeed though.
This morning- Sunday I drove from her house to Newark airport to get my husband. That trip was frightening! The GPS took me through Manhattan, a cop yelled at me for being in a turning lane- no matter that there was no signs or arrows on the road or notice of any kind...I was clearly out of line. I did not get a ticket. I think once I spoke to him he realized I was a frightened sweet old lady type and he let me go with a stern warning. This was in the heart of Manhattan mind you. I continued through the Holland Tunnel- where the GPS lost signal- not something that's ever happened before so I was petrified that I would be lost in the city...luckily it got the signal as I emerged from the Tunnel. I got to the airport on time. Hubby was late... I SO SO SO had to go the bathroom by the time he got into the car. He offered to drive home from the airport and I let him. He'd also had a rough morning but the trip had been wonderful. He told me each detail as we drove. I was glad to see him and glad to resume normalcy-for lack of better terminology -once again. So hubby is home safe and so am I. Tomorrow I am going back on track obviously... (sigh). I wish this wasn't so hard but that's everything. I'll see you next time. ;-)
On Thursday the daily grind went much like it has been going. Very busy days...a couple of 'full moons' for lack of better terminology to fit the situation and welcoming 4;30 with the catching of my breath and wiping sweat from my brow. My husband was leaving for Key Largo with his students so packing for that was on the evening agenda. That took some doing but we got through it in a frustrating, agitated manner. Stress was prevalent but still I was able to maintain focus on my battle of the bulge.
At 3am the alarm rang because I had to get my husband to the airport by 4am for his 6am flight. Let me just say here that I think it is ridiculous to expect people to be at the airport two hours before a flight. I would understand an hour...but we follow rules no matter how stupid they are. I dragged myself out of bed, got a shower collected my husband who was doing last minute things and putting the suitcases in the car and we were off. I got home from dropping him off at approximately 5am and tried to lay down for a little while before work. That was futile.
I dragged myself into work on time and had another grueling day. Thank heaven it was so busy though; there wasn't time to take a deep breath, never mind remember how tired I was. 4:30 came not a moment too soon. From there I went home and prepared the items needed to bake the father/son cake with my nephew for the cub scouts. He came over at six. We had a heavy duty talk about his father. I was surprised that he chose to come to me with questions. I always assumed that it would be my husband. I answered them honestly- without lying. I thought my answers out and even I was astounded that the right answers came and they were both forgiving and soothing to the child. I believe the answers were divinely inspired. The Lord talked to that little boy through me as we worked side by side creating the spider cake. There's no other explanation.
He left me around 8:30pm. I cleaned up the kitchen and literally fell into bed. I awoke with pajama bottoms on, my work blouse and one sock on me as the leg with the sock hung over the side of the made bed. I guess that I can safely say that I was exhausted.
Friday's work went well. Steady but not overwhelming work and clients filled the hours and the day was over in no time flat. I still clung to my diet and this is where it went sour. After work was the Cub Scouts bake off contest. Needless to say, I couldn't miss that. I put off going to see my younger sister until Saturday just to be there for my nephew. I had to. Especially after the things we talked about and the depth of them. I love that child.
Anyway- the cakes there before us were absolute works of art. Ours was good- but clearly done by the sweet hands of my eleven year old nephew. In my mind that was the way a real boy scout would behave. you know...honesty-truth...that type of thing? I had him do it with me guiding. There was no way that these pieces of art were done that way. My heart ached and I truly cursed myself for the mistake that I believed costed the child a spot in the winning circle. My sister in law said it before I did. I understood. I felt as if I'd let everyone down though- not that they said or meant it. I just felt that way.
As we heard each cake of the ten categories called, and saw each magnificent piece of art brought up for applause my heart sank into my stomach. The final award given was called the Judges Choice Award. It was First Place and the winner got the coveted big mixing spoon that can be found in most every kitchen on the planet. The drum roll went out and you could've knocked me over with a feather when they announced the Spider Cake by my nephew as the winner! I just sat there clapping and thanking the angels. I damn near cried- as silly as that sounds. The lesson learned here was by me. Honesty and truth....Maybe I should've been a boy scout. ;-)
My nephew then asked me to come over to his house and have cake. Obviously I wouldn't turn that down. It was as good as it was amazing that he won. I blew the diet but to be perfectly truthful- it didn't matter. He was so beyond happy. It's the first time I've seen that in him since the death of his father last May. He smiles- don't get me wrong- but the glimmer in his eyes was back- I'm not sure how to explain....
I went out that night with my friend to karaoke. It was karaoke buddy's girlfriend. She needed to talk. Her brother passed away last week; not unexpectedly but it is still a blow- she needed a friend. I provided one. We talked until the wee hours of the morning.
Saturday morning I went to see my younger sister. She has been sick herself. She literally could not walk without pain. It was impossible. As the mother of three teens, a nurses aide full time and a college student of nursing she needs to walk. I went out to see if I could help. I grocery shopped for her. Drove her where she needed to go and then took she and her daughter to see the Michael Jackson movie "This is it," which was both nostalgic and so very sad.
We spent the rest of the night watching television, talking and laughing. Our diet was awful. I had to go with portion control. I didn't really succeed though.
This morning- Sunday I drove from her house to Newark airport to get my husband. That trip was frightening! The GPS took me through Manhattan, a cop yelled at me for being in a turning lane- no matter that there was no signs or arrows on the road or notice of any kind...I was clearly out of line. I did not get a ticket. I think once I spoke to him he realized I was a frightened sweet old lady type and he let me go with a stern warning. This was in the heart of Manhattan mind you. I continued through the Holland Tunnel- where the GPS lost signal- not something that's ever happened before so I was petrified that I would be lost in the city...luckily it got the signal as I emerged from the Tunnel. I got to the airport on time. Hubby was late... I SO SO SO had to go the bathroom by the time he got into the car. He offered to drive home from the airport and I let him. He'd also had a rough morning but the trip had been wonderful. He told me each detail as we drove. I was glad to see him and glad to resume normalcy-for lack of better terminology -once again. So hubby is home safe and so am I. Tomorrow I am going back on track obviously... (sigh). I wish this wasn't so hard but that's everything. I'll see you next time. ;-)
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
11: 11, 2009 Diet Blog
No rest for the weary as they say. I got up at the usual time. I had breakfast with my husband- well, he had breakfast I had coffee and saw him off to work at 6:30 am. I had another cup of coffee, a hot shower and began the laundry ritual that would last pretty much most of the day because of the party last weekend. I ran out of detergent and as luck would have it, had not gotten any when I went grocery shopping yesterday after work. I ran to the grocery store, got it and bleach for my whites and buzzed through the check out. Sadly- the bleach ruined one of my favorite shirts...but I digress...
There was a very large man riding in one of those store owned motorized carts with the grocery basket on the front. I stuck my thumb out playfully and said, "going my way?" He laughed gently and we went about our business. I headed for the fruit because they hadn't had any good green grapes the other day. They had lots today. Cart-man was there too. I offered to reach some for him. He thanked me but said that he could do it himself. He struggled to get up from the cart. I waited my turn as his cart took up all of the space in front of the shelves. It was then that I realized that his handicap was his weight. He was obese. 500 pounds, possibly more. My heart bled for him. That must be awful.
I waited my turn and got through the check out without a hassle. On my way out I pushed my cart past him. He smiled at me. I said, "you know, we've just got to stop meeting like this," he belly laughed.
"That's right," he said back,"People are going to think there's something going on." We laughed and went our separate ways again.
He was a nice person. I wonder how often he is judged...or misjudged by his weight? He seemed apprehensive at first and then after seeing me around and my remaining friendly, he seemed more relaxed. I pray that I never judge someone on something like that.
"There, but for the grace of God, Go I..." There is much truth to that statement.
For breakfast I had a lite n fit yogurt, for lunch I had left over multi grain noodles in sauce and sausage. For dinner I had chicken breast and green beans. Now- I had to use my battle plan today.
The reason that I had to use the battle plan was that I trapped myself in the house with all of the goodies we will be using to make the father-son special creative cake with my nephew for the cub scouts. We were supposed to do it last night right after I purchased the items but he fell ill and so we are not doing it until Thursday. The goodies were put away, but I still knew they were here. I ate one weight watchers one point chocolate cake for early snack, and one for 3pm snack. It worked! I'm VERY happy with myself.
I was able to control the urges for the sweets. Like I said- chocolate is my downfall. Stress and emotional upheaval is my catalyst. Hubby is going away, I'm going to take him to the airport at 4; which means I'm up at 3am. My little sister is sick and I'm going to Long Island to see her this weekend; I have to bake the cake with my nephew in his stead and I don't want to catch anything; I had to blow off my Blairstown BFF and singing this weekend to see my sister. She was very understanding but I hate doing that.... the list just goes on and on...anyway- the catalyst is taking its toll on me too. That was the point. I beat it though.
The day ended with me finishing the laundry, cooking dinner and then going to body conditioning class. I did great. 40 minutes again. I'm kinda proud of me tonight. I am going to sign off here however. 3am comes early. I have to work tomorrow- then bake the cake... Tomorrow is going to be rough. See you next Blog! ;-)
There was a very large man riding in one of those store owned motorized carts with the grocery basket on the front. I stuck my thumb out playfully and said, "going my way?" He laughed gently and we went about our business. I headed for the fruit because they hadn't had any good green grapes the other day. They had lots today. Cart-man was there too. I offered to reach some for him. He thanked me but said that he could do it himself. He struggled to get up from the cart. I waited my turn as his cart took up all of the space in front of the shelves. It was then that I realized that his handicap was his weight. He was obese. 500 pounds, possibly more. My heart bled for him. That must be awful.
I waited my turn and got through the check out without a hassle. On my way out I pushed my cart past him. He smiled at me. I said, "you know, we've just got to stop meeting like this," he belly laughed.
"That's right," he said back,"People are going to think there's something going on." We laughed and went our separate ways again.
He was a nice person. I wonder how often he is judged...or misjudged by his weight? He seemed apprehensive at first and then after seeing me around and my remaining friendly, he seemed more relaxed. I pray that I never judge someone on something like that.
"There, but for the grace of God, Go I..." There is much truth to that statement.
For breakfast I had a lite n fit yogurt, for lunch I had left over multi grain noodles in sauce and sausage. For dinner I had chicken breast and green beans. Now- I had to use my battle plan today.
The reason that I had to use the battle plan was that I trapped myself in the house with all of the goodies we will be using to make the father-son special creative cake with my nephew for the cub scouts. We were supposed to do it last night right after I purchased the items but he fell ill and so we are not doing it until Thursday. The goodies were put away, but I still knew they were here. I ate one weight watchers one point chocolate cake for early snack, and one for 3pm snack. It worked! I'm VERY happy with myself.
I was able to control the urges for the sweets. Like I said- chocolate is my downfall. Stress and emotional upheaval is my catalyst. Hubby is going away, I'm going to take him to the airport at 4; which means I'm up at 3am. My little sister is sick and I'm going to Long Island to see her this weekend; I have to bake the cake with my nephew in his stead and I don't want to catch anything; I had to blow off my Blairstown BFF and singing this weekend to see my sister. She was very understanding but I hate doing that.... the list just goes on and on...anyway- the catalyst is taking its toll on me too. That was the point. I beat it though.
The day ended with me finishing the laundry, cooking dinner and then going to body conditioning class. I did great. 40 minutes again. I'm kinda proud of me tonight. I am going to sign off here however. 3am comes early. I have to work tomorrow- then bake the cake... Tomorrow is going to be rough. See you next Blog! ;-)
November 10, 2009 Diet Blog
Lord it was an overwhelmingly busy day. Typically, busy at the front desk in court is a full page of clients, phones, filing, and miscellaneous items. Today we had nearly two pages worth of clients, three times the normal amount of calls- and THATS a lot, I've never seen so many files- I literally could not keep the bin empty and we were short handed in almost every department. Under the miscellaneous category, a man actually argued with me- yelling across the lobby because he was lost; needed directions and (how dare I) I was on the phone helping a real client that was upset and sobbing. I just pointed to the phone and put a finger up meaning wait one minute and I'll help you- but clearly his need superseded any others because he actually screamed at me! Mind you- this was with a line at the desk, each private booth full, 3 people on hold and it was only 9-ish. We open at 8:30am. One lost guy, who was supposed to be across the hall at another court came back in three times because no one was in the other court room. Clearly I'm at fault for that given that our court has nothing to do with that one- we are just located near by. Obviously- I need to drop everything and hunt for sombody to man their post and abandon mine.... My supervisor came away from a client on the third time and dismissed him sternly but politely. We were astounded at the audacity of some people.
I was too busy to have any snacks but for breakfast I had two slices of American cheese and coffee. For some reason I woke up with a sweet tooth, and cheeses is supposed to curb it. It seemed to work, whether psychological or real. Lunch was Smart Ones, grapes and carrot sticks, dinner was multi grain noodles in sauce and sausage.
On the way home from my exhausting day I grocery shopped. The tems needed included ones for the father-son bake off for cub scouts is this week because I had to purchase the materials to make a special kind of creative cake. We chose a spider. We'll use a bunt cake pan, pretzel sticks for the legs, yodel cuts for the eyes surrounded by ready whip, large gum drop for nose, gum drop cut to shape for the mouth and twizlers for the antenna. It should be cute and fairly easy to do. Still, I had to come up with a battle plan- as I am playing the role of 'Dad' for my nephew whose father passed away. My hubby usually does that but he will be with his students in Key Largo for the scuba trip. At least this way- it's not the mom.
The battle plan is chocolate- one point- weight watchers cakes. I will have a little cake while everyone else is having the fattening one. I will eat it slowly. I will send all of the left over goodies from making the spider cake to the cub scouts meeting with my nephew for the boys to chow down. It should go well.
That was supposed to happen Tuesday Night but my nephew is ill and we were able to put it off until Thursday so we are doing that. I don't need to get sick again. I don't seem to be able to shake illnesses as easily these days. Before he comes I intend to pump vitamin C into my body for protection.
When I got home I unpacked the food, cooked the dinner and had a much needed long hot shower. I felt better. We snuggled up on the sofa for about a half hour but I was so tired I went to bed after that. It was around 9pm. That's why I'm writing this blog entry on Wednesday morning. It's Veteran's Day. I'm off from work. I'm remembering all of the people that fought for our freedom. I pray for their everlasting peace in the kingdom of heaven. I'll write in later about today. See you next time.
I was too busy to have any snacks but for breakfast I had two slices of American cheese and coffee. For some reason I woke up with a sweet tooth, and cheeses is supposed to curb it. It seemed to work, whether psychological or real. Lunch was Smart Ones, grapes and carrot sticks, dinner was multi grain noodles in sauce and sausage.
On the way home from my exhausting day I grocery shopped. The tems needed included ones for the father-son bake off for cub scouts is this week because I had to purchase the materials to make a special kind of creative cake. We chose a spider. We'll use a bunt cake pan, pretzel sticks for the legs, yodel cuts for the eyes surrounded by ready whip, large gum drop for nose, gum drop cut to shape for the mouth and twizlers for the antenna. It should be cute and fairly easy to do. Still, I had to come up with a battle plan- as I am playing the role of 'Dad' for my nephew whose father passed away. My hubby usually does that but he will be with his students in Key Largo for the scuba trip. At least this way- it's not the mom.
The battle plan is chocolate- one point- weight watchers cakes. I will have a little cake while everyone else is having the fattening one. I will eat it slowly. I will send all of the left over goodies from making the spider cake to the cub scouts meeting with my nephew for the boys to chow down. It should go well.
That was supposed to happen Tuesday Night but my nephew is ill and we were able to put it off until Thursday so we are doing that. I don't need to get sick again. I don't seem to be able to shake illnesses as easily these days. Before he comes I intend to pump vitamin C into my body for protection.
When I got home I unpacked the food, cooked the dinner and had a much needed long hot shower. I felt better. We snuggled up on the sofa for about a half hour but I was so tired I went to bed after that. It was around 9pm. That's why I'm writing this blog entry on Wednesday morning. It's Veteran's Day. I'm off from work. I'm remembering all of the people that fought for our freedom. I pray for their everlasting peace in the kingdom of heaven. I'll write in later about today. See you next time.
Monday, November 9, 2009
November 9, 2009 Diet Blog
It was so busy at work that the day flew by in what seemed like seconds. I had forgotten to eat breakfast, skipped 10 am snack because we were so busy that I just forgot, had Smart Ones pizza for lunch with a lit n fit yogurt and the grapes from 10am snack that I still had. Then 3pm came and went; same problem; didn't even take a bathroom break all day except for lunch. Fatigue hit when I got home- but no rest for the weary. sigh...
I wrote my log for body conditioning class and then the scholarship letter for my husbands fellow scuba instructor and the athletic director of the college to sign; then my hubby wanted dinner. I was so tired. I got away with serving him Clam chowder soup by Progresso, and a biscuit and I had a smart ones and a biscuit. I accompanied him to scuba class and watched him teach until it was time for my class.
Body conditioning class was great. I did 40 minutes; worked hard and sweat profusely. I lent a fellow student my notes so he was able to have the info to write his program; lent another girl a pen and did okay for myself tonight. I got an approving nod and a smile from the instructor on my way out the door. I guess that it didn't hurt that I handed my weight program paper in early since it's not due until November 23. I feel like I accomplished something and I get a second wind. That always happens. Plus my mood gets better. They say that exercise releases endorphins, which are some kind of enzymes in the brain that make you feel happy. I'm here to tell you that I think that myth is true. Maybe we should ask Dr. Oz?! I'm no expert after all.
I have been feeling discouraged because of the number on the scale and because of all of the 'occasions' coming up, beginning with Halloween, my anniversary, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and all of the parties that surround this time of the year. I fight it every step of the way- but I'm weak. Food is my drug of choice. I think to myself 'am I fighting a battle of futility?' Then I answer myself. 'no.' I am making better choices even if they aren't as good as I'd like them to be all of the time. Where before I would've eaten a ton of Halloween candies and ate at all of the office parties- of which there are plenty- I had none or ate moderately most of the time. I'm exercising twice a week. I was doing nothing before that. So I guess that no matter what, I'm inching my way toward the right track and how can that be futile?
So here I am again, taking charge and moving forward. I'm feeling good about that. One day at a time...one hour at a time...one minute at a time...one second at a time...
Remember: You too look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you next Blog! ;-)
I wrote my log for body conditioning class and then the scholarship letter for my husbands fellow scuba instructor and the athletic director of the college to sign; then my hubby wanted dinner. I was so tired. I got away with serving him Clam chowder soup by Progresso, and a biscuit and I had a smart ones and a biscuit. I accompanied him to scuba class and watched him teach until it was time for my class.
Body conditioning class was great. I did 40 minutes; worked hard and sweat profusely. I lent a fellow student my notes so he was able to have the info to write his program; lent another girl a pen and did okay for myself tonight. I got an approving nod and a smile from the instructor on my way out the door. I guess that it didn't hurt that I handed my weight program paper in early since it's not due until November 23. I feel like I accomplished something and I get a second wind. That always happens. Plus my mood gets better. They say that exercise releases endorphins, which are some kind of enzymes in the brain that make you feel happy. I'm here to tell you that I think that myth is true. Maybe we should ask Dr. Oz?! I'm no expert after all.
I have been feeling discouraged because of the number on the scale and because of all of the 'occasions' coming up, beginning with Halloween, my anniversary, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and all of the parties that surround this time of the year. I fight it every step of the way- but I'm weak. Food is my drug of choice. I think to myself 'am I fighting a battle of futility?' Then I answer myself. 'no.' I am making better choices even if they aren't as good as I'd like them to be all of the time. Where before I would've eaten a ton of Halloween candies and ate at all of the office parties- of which there are plenty- I had none or ate moderately most of the time. I'm exercising twice a week. I was doing nothing before that. So I guess that no matter what, I'm inching my way toward the right track and how can that be futile?
So here I am again, taking charge and moving forward. I'm feeling good about that. One day at a time...one hour at a time...one minute at a time...one second at a time...
Remember: You too look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you next Blog! ;-)
Sunday, November 8, 2009
November 7 &8, 2009 Diet Blog
Saturday began with me running errands. I dropped off the manuscripts to my manicurist and the owner of the salon, mailed out the book signing idea letters to Borders and Barnes and Nobel-B.Dalton Books; went to the bank and then among other things, ran over to my best BFF's house to give her the new set of Yankee Candles that she had left in my car.
I hadn't planned on staying but I ended up running a few errands with her as well and then went home to shower and change for my dinner with my son, his wife and my husband for our anniversary. My son arrived at around six and they gave us a beautifully framed wedding photograph of themselves for me wall as I had requested and a lovely card.
When we arrived at our destination restaurant I got a little nervous because it was one that I had eaten at previously and the reaction to the food had been bad. I said nothing because I didn't want to ruin the evening with my family.
My husband had said that we had reservations but the hostess did not have our names. Finally, they were going to put us on the waiting list. They asked my husband how many. I could see that he was upset. My son was acting oddly too and his wife was staring at the floor. My husband answered that there were 15 of us. Now I know that I haven't felt good lately but I was fairly sure that we were a family of four. I understood... I whacked my husband playfully on the arm. 'You lied to me," I teased him saying. There was obviously a party. He laughed and my son and his wife grinned at each other.
The room was filled with my family, best friends, my sister-in-law, and the kids, and mom-in-law. It was so lovely. We had a great time together. My younger sister was the only one missing that had said she was coming- she was ill unfortunately. Afterwards we all came back to the house and talked the night away. Everyone left at about midnight. My young Bff from Pa wanted to go out together and have a nightcap. I went. We got in long about 3am. It was so much fun!
Sunday was spent recuperating from the evenings festivities and straightening the house after seeing my husband off at 6am away to his class at the Penn Quarry. My BFF from Pa left at around 2pm in the afternoon and my husband came back from his dive where he was helping to certify students in scuba. It was a wonderful weekend and I feel so loved. 25 years is a long time. I'm glad that he remembered to remember it this year. I'm looking forward to the next 25. ;-)
I hadn't planned on staying but I ended up running a few errands with her as well and then went home to shower and change for my dinner with my son, his wife and my husband for our anniversary. My son arrived at around six and they gave us a beautifully framed wedding photograph of themselves for me wall as I had requested and a lovely card.
When we arrived at our destination restaurant I got a little nervous because it was one that I had eaten at previously and the reaction to the food had been bad. I said nothing because I didn't want to ruin the evening with my family.
My husband had said that we had reservations but the hostess did not have our names. Finally, they were going to put us on the waiting list. They asked my husband how many. I could see that he was upset. My son was acting oddly too and his wife was staring at the floor. My husband answered that there were 15 of us. Now I know that I haven't felt good lately but I was fairly sure that we were a family of four. I understood... I whacked my husband playfully on the arm. 'You lied to me," I teased him saying. There was obviously a party. He laughed and my son and his wife grinned at each other.
The room was filled with my family, best friends, my sister-in-law, and the kids, and mom-in-law. It was so lovely. We had a great time together. My younger sister was the only one missing that had said she was coming- she was ill unfortunately. Afterwards we all came back to the house and talked the night away. Everyone left at about midnight. My young Bff from Pa wanted to go out together and have a nightcap. I went. We got in long about 3am. It was so much fun!
Sunday was spent recuperating from the evenings festivities and straightening the house after seeing my husband off at 6am away to his class at the Penn Quarry. My BFF from Pa left at around 2pm in the afternoon and my husband came back from his dive where he was helping to certify students in scuba. It was a wonderful weekend and I feel so loved. 25 years is a long time. I'm glad that he remembered to remember it this year. I'm looking forward to the next 25. ;-)
Saturday, November 7, 2009
November 6 2009 Diet Blog
It's Friday and it's pay day. Two of my favorite things. My son and his wife are coming tomorrow instead of tonight I just found out and so I'm a little bummed as he used to say. Work went very fast. The day was over as quickly as it began. I got my nails done afterward. It was so nice to talk to the girls. I feel as if we've gotten so close. I can see the weight falling off of my manicurist. The beads behind the ears diet is working wonders with her and for her. It didn't for the husband of my Best BFF. Clearly, it fits her lifestyle.
The salon owner and I talked heavily the time before last and I gave her an idea about a 'self help' book she dreams of writing. She likes the thought a lot. She told me tonight as we talked again. I told the manicurist about the Florida trip and my nieces medieval wedding. I had her hysterical. I promised to make them both copies of the manuscript to read. The owner wants me to do a book signing there. I think it's a great idea! She also wants a photograph for the wall. Since my son didn't come, I did that tonight except for the picture; sadly, an XBFF took them and to get copies I'm pretty sure that I need to order them through X. I need several for the PBS children's show as well. I'm not sure if I should just go elsewhere in the same clothes and get re- photographed or if I should bite the bullet and call X about placing the order. I haven't decided what to do yet. I'll keep you posted.
I also had an idea about book signings. I acted on it right away, because I believe that when ideas like this strike me from no where, it is the angels giving me Divine information and inspiration. The idea came about this way: On our trip to Florida my husband and I had coffee and a roll at a little shop that was attached to a little bookstore. My mind began racing through memories of seeing those same little bookstores in other airports, train stations, bus stations, Port Authority and Penn Station and the like. I wrote to Borders bookstore Corporation Headquarters and to Barnes and Nobel- B. Dalton Books Corporate headquarters and suggested that they have book signings done in those locales. It is NOT being done and the possibilities are endless, not to mention that it could be a very lucrative endeavor for all of us because of the volume of people traffic and the value of those same travelers carrying my books to other locations. I suggested that I'd love to do the gamut! I hope that hey take me up on it.
This morning I had oatmeal, snack was 6 little rice cakes, lunch was left over chicken breast and rice, 3pm snack was several weight watchers pretzels shared with my coworker and dinner was eggs sunny side up with a wheat Thomas' English muffin and about a table spoon of Lite margarine.
I went to bed feeling kind of down for some reason. (I'm writing this Saturday morning.) My husband is also down in the dumps for some reason. Maybe it's the change in time and weather... Remember, you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having fun. Stay positive. See you next Blog! ;-)
The salon owner and I talked heavily the time before last and I gave her an idea about a 'self help' book she dreams of writing. She likes the thought a lot. She told me tonight as we talked again. I told the manicurist about the Florida trip and my nieces medieval wedding. I had her hysterical. I promised to make them both copies of the manuscript to read. The owner wants me to do a book signing there. I think it's a great idea! She also wants a photograph for the wall. Since my son didn't come, I did that tonight except for the picture; sadly, an XBFF took them and to get copies I'm pretty sure that I need to order them through X. I need several for the PBS children's show as well. I'm not sure if I should just go elsewhere in the same clothes and get re- photographed or if I should bite the bullet and call X about placing the order. I haven't decided what to do yet. I'll keep you posted.
I also had an idea about book signings. I acted on it right away, because I believe that when ideas like this strike me from no where, it is the angels giving me Divine information and inspiration. The idea came about this way: On our trip to Florida my husband and I had coffee and a roll at a little shop that was attached to a little bookstore. My mind began racing through memories of seeing those same little bookstores in other airports, train stations, bus stations, Port Authority and Penn Station and the like. I wrote to Borders bookstore Corporation Headquarters and to Barnes and Nobel- B. Dalton Books Corporate headquarters and suggested that they have book signings done in those locales. It is NOT being done and the possibilities are endless, not to mention that it could be a very lucrative endeavor for all of us because of the volume of people traffic and the value of those same travelers carrying my books to other locations. I suggested that I'd love to do the gamut! I hope that hey take me up on it.
This morning I had oatmeal, snack was 6 little rice cakes, lunch was left over chicken breast and rice, 3pm snack was several weight watchers pretzels shared with my coworker and dinner was eggs sunny side up with a wheat Thomas' English muffin and about a table spoon of Lite margarine.
I went to bed feeling kind of down for some reason. (I'm writing this Saturday morning.) My husband is also down in the dumps for some reason. Maybe it's the change in time and weather... Remember, you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having fun. Stay positive. See you next Blog! ;-)
Thursday, November 5, 2009
November 5, 2009 Diet Blog
I had stomach cramps all day but made it through. The day was long and I'm still not feeling well. I lost 2 more pounds bringing the grand total too 11 pounds altogether. It left me disheartened. Still, I'm trying not to be the number. If I eat healthier and exercise I hope the rest will fall into place.
My husband and I fought over the wedding pictures we took in Florida. The groom doesn't like to be in photographs and so he forbid cameras at the wedding. I brought the camera anyway but went out of my way to respect his wishes. He got into a few by accident...like profile type pictures.... My husband wanted to post them on Face Book. I really felt like that would be wrong and would cause problems between my niece and her new husband. Hubby disagreed and told me he was going to delete them. I said no. I also do not understand the grooms position but I love my niece and so I think its childish to post them just to tease him- urk him or whatever purpose it would serve. We actually ended up loud. Not screaming...but loud, no question. I felt angry. He did too.
Then my niece contacted me tonight and asked me for the ones we took because she literally has none. I want to separate them sending her only the ones that her groom did not get into accidentally. My husband got furious. He thinks I'm ridiculous for adhereing to the grooms wishes and feels that the wishes are just as ridiculous. Eventually he said that he'd help me do it but the damage was done. I'm just so upset by it. We never fight. I can't believe THIS is what we fought about. Anyway, he went off to teach scuba class. He did invite me to come in a last ditch effort to rectify the situation between us. I didn't go. I needed to cry for awhile. I do that when I get this frustrated. It's either that or chase down some chocolate....I chose tears.
I had pineapple spears for breakfast, no 10am snack, Smart Ones, yogurt and carrot sticks for lunch, no 3pm snack, chicken breast and rice for dinner and Miss Merenge snacks for dessert. They are a weight watchers treat. You can have 13 for 2 points. I am unsure of the calories because it is not on the container.
I'm very tired, very discouraged and feeling lower than low. I'm going to go to bed in hopes that I will feel better tomorrow. I apologise for the shortness of this particular blog but I'm not myself. See you tomorrow.
My husband and I fought over the wedding pictures we took in Florida. The groom doesn't like to be in photographs and so he forbid cameras at the wedding. I brought the camera anyway but went out of my way to respect his wishes. He got into a few by accident...like profile type pictures.... My husband wanted to post them on Face Book. I really felt like that would be wrong and would cause problems between my niece and her new husband. Hubby disagreed and told me he was going to delete them. I said no. I also do not understand the grooms position but I love my niece and so I think its childish to post them just to tease him- urk him or whatever purpose it would serve. We actually ended up loud. Not screaming...but loud, no question. I felt angry. He did too.
Then my niece contacted me tonight and asked me for the ones we took because she literally has none. I want to separate them sending her only the ones that her groom did not get into accidentally. My husband got furious. He thinks I'm ridiculous for adhereing to the grooms wishes and feels that the wishes are just as ridiculous. Eventually he said that he'd help me do it but the damage was done. I'm just so upset by it. We never fight. I can't believe THIS is what we fought about. Anyway, he went off to teach scuba class. He did invite me to come in a last ditch effort to rectify the situation between us. I didn't go. I needed to cry for awhile. I do that when I get this frustrated. It's either that or chase down some chocolate....I chose tears.
I had pineapple spears for breakfast, no 10am snack, Smart Ones, yogurt and carrot sticks for lunch, no 3pm snack, chicken breast and rice for dinner and Miss Merenge snacks for dessert. They are a weight watchers treat. You can have 13 for 2 points. I am unsure of the calories because it is not on the container.
I'm very tired, very discouraged and feeling lower than low. I'm going to go to bed in hopes that I will feel better tomorrow. I apologise for the shortness of this particular blog but I'm not myself. See you tomorrow.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
November 4, 2009 Diet Blog
It's a day like any other with the exception of the fact that its my 25th wedding anniversary. My husband went to work. I called in sick. I suffered through very bad cramps that left me virtually incapacitated and needing to be very close to the bathroom at all times.
Since I was chained to the house I did laundry and light cleaning in between bouts of bathroom runs. I put my wedding photo up on face book. That took awhile to figure out. I'm going to try to put a picture up on this blog at long last when I'm able to sit still for that long without cramping.
I gave my husband the diving trip to Key Largo the other day as his gift, and this morning I gave him the beautiful, soft gray sweater and a card that I picked out especially for today. He seemed to really like what the card said and he wore the sweater into work so I'm pretty sure that he liked it too. He told me that we will be having dinner with our son and daughter-in-law on Saturday and that we would celebrate then. He said that he hadn't forgotten and not to feel bad. I lied and said that I didn't. Today is the day. He could've written that in a card. It's okay. I'm just feeling a little let down.
My coworker called me today to see if I was alright. She is the nicest person I've ever met. She has the day off tomorrow but was willing to give it up if I needed the extra day. I assured her that I was just fine. It was a lie at the time- but now it isn't. I'm feeling a little crampy but nothing like I was earlier. I would crawl into work if I had to though. I would never ask her to give up her day off. She's earned it.
I went to class tonight but I took it very easy. I only did 30 minutes on the lowest settings that I could- just basically going through the motions. I was never so glad to get through a class. I'm exhausted.
I'm going to sign off here and get into a hot shower and a warm bed. See you tomorrow. ;-)
Since I was chained to the house I did laundry and light cleaning in between bouts of bathroom runs. I put my wedding photo up on face book. That took awhile to figure out. I'm going to try to put a picture up on this blog at long last when I'm able to sit still for that long without cramping.
I gave my husband the diving trip to Key Largo the other day as his gift, and this morning I gave him the beautiful, soft gray sweater and a card that I picked out especially for today. He seemed to really like what the card said and he wore the sweater into work so I'm pretty sure that he liked it too. He told me that we will be having dinner with our son and daughter-in-law on Saturday and that we would celebrate then. He said that he hadn't forgotten and not to feel bad. I lied and said that I didn't. Today is the day. He could've written that in a card. It's okay. I'm just feeling a little let down.
My coworker called me today to see if I was alright. She is the nicest person I've ever met. She has the day off tomorrow but was willing to give it up if I needed the extra day. I assured her that I was just fine. It was a lie at the time- but now it isn't. I'm feeling a little crampy but nothing like I was earlier. I would crawl into work if I had to though. I would never ask her to give up her day off. She's earned it.
I went to class tonight but I took it very easy. I only did 30 minutes on the lowest settings that I could- just basically going through the motions. I was never so glad to get through a class. I'm exhausted.
I'm going to sign off here and get into a hot shower and a warm bed. See you tomorrow. ;-)
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
November 3, 2009 Diet Blog
Wow! I had the day off- got no housework done and I'm totally exhausted. My husband got me up at the usual time because he'd forgotten that I had the day off. I stayed in bed for a little while but could not get back to sleep. It was too early to do anything so I let the day take charge of me and just went with the flow.
I did face book this morning, and then I wrote the blog, of course to catch up from not doing it while I was in Florida. After that I put the college scholarship paperwork together, wrote the essay, wrote to the professor to get the recommendation letter and filled out the application. I then ran it up to the college because the deadline is November 6th. While I was there, the woman in charge gave me an application for another scholarship she felt I might have a shot at getting. I thanked her profusely.
My first stop out of the house was to go vote. I ran into the mother of my husbands friend, my son's God father and we talked for a bit. She recently lost her husband. They were married nearly 50 years I think. I didn't mention that my anniversary is tomorrow. She seems to be doing real well though. It was nice to see her.
On my way home from the college I stopped at the ATM to get money because I had none. I was very surprised to see that the bank was open. I don't know why I thought that it would be closed but I did think that. After that I went to Staples to get manuscript boxes. I want to mail the 'Identity Theft, it's murder' manuscript out to my friend from the plane with the Bed and Breakfast. I also printed another one called 'A. Princess, the human condition' up for her too. It's about domestic violence and my mother's favorite. I hope that she likes receiving them. I printed up those same manuscripts for karaoke buddy's girlfriend because I promised her that I would and just 'Identity Theft, it's murder' for the young coworker helping me to get the word out about it coming out soon. Then, I emailed the publisher with the story about the girl on the plane. I still haven't heard anything.
After that I did my homework for the body conditioning class. It took about 2 hours to do it. I found it more difficult than the first program was to write. I guess I know a little more about aerobics because of the many years I spent doing karate. Weight Training is a foreign language to me. Still, it's now done to the best of my ability and I'm ready to go.
I wrote the essay for the second scholarship. I also filled out most of the application leaving out only the date and the recommendation letter. I've asked my husband to ask his friend and fellow scuba instructor to write the letter. He is the athletic director at the college. I think that he is a good one to get the recommendation from if I can. My husband says he will ask him on Thursday at the Seton Hall college where they both teach together also. That scholarship application needs to be in by December 21st.
I packed up the manuscripts and got them ready for mailing. I wrapped the sweater for my husband as an extra anniversary gift and got the card ready. I already paid for his diving trip to Key Largo next week as the real gift. He really liked that.
3:30 pm came fast and my husband was home from work. I'm sure he thought that I'd spent a lazy day doing absolutely nothing but...whew! I sure didn't. I'm really very tired. He brought a pizza home for dinner, which was great but my diet has really suffered under the pressure of the last few days. ...I know, I know...I'm trying not to beat myself up. I'll get back on that roll...I do have this: the knowledge that I still worked out twice a week all month long and made better choices whether it shows on the scale or not.
My son and daughter in law are coming over on Saturday and we are going out somewhere to celebrate our anniversary. That should be fun. I miss him terribly. Of course I will keep you posted on all of the things going on and the frenzied lifestyle I seem to lead these days. Wish me luck on all of it. In my most valued dreams I have that because I'm a world renound, loved and revered author. In the words of a wonderful country singer, Loretta Lynn "I really want it doo..." She wanted to be a star. So do I...at least I want my books to be 'stars.' See you next blog! ;-)
I did face book this morning, and then I wrote the blog, of course to catch up from not doing it while I was in Florida. After that I put the college scholarship paperwork together, wrote the essay, wrote to the professor to get the recommendation letter and filled out the application. I then ran it up to the college because the deadline is November 6th. While I was there, the woman in charge gave me an application for another scholarship she felt I might have a shot at getting. I thanked her profusely.
My first stop out of the house was to go vote. I ran into the mother of my husbands friend, my son's God father and we talked for a bit. She recently lost her husband. They were married nearly 50 years I think. I didn't mention that my anniversary is tomorrow. She seems to be doing real well though. It was nice to see her.
On my way home from the college I stopped at the ATM to get money because I had none. I was very surprised to see that the bank was open. I don't know why I thought that it would be closed but I did think that. After that I went to Staples to get manuscript boxes. I want to mail the 'Identity Theft, it's murder' manuscript out to my friend from the plane with the Bed and Breakfast. I also printed another one called 'A. Princess, the human condition' up for her too. It's about domestic violence and my mother's favorite. I hope that she likes receiving them. I printed up those same manuscripts for karaoke buddy's girlfriend because I promised her that I would and just 'Identity Theft, it's murder' for the young coworker helping me to get the word out about it coming out soon. Then, I emailed the publisher with the story about the girl on the plane. I still haven't heard anything.
After that I did my homework for the body conditioning class. It took about 2 hours to do it. I found it more difficult than the first program was to write. I guess I know a little more about aerobics because of the many years I spent doing karate. Weight Training is a foreign language to me. Still, it's now done to the best of my ability and I'm ready to go.
I wrote the essay for the second scholarship. I also filled out most of the application leaving out only the date and the recommendation letter. I've asked my husband to ask his friend and fellow scuba instructor to write the letter. He is the athletic director at the college. I think that he is a good one to get the recommendation from if I can. My husband says he will ask him on Thursday at the Seton Hall college where they both teach together also. That scholarship application needs to be in by December 21st.
I packed up the manuscripts and got them ready for mailing. I wrapped the sweater for my husband as an extra anniversary gift and got the card ready. I already paid for his diving trip to Key Largo next week as the real gift. He really liked that.
3:30 pm came fast and my husband was home from work. I'm sure he thought that I'd spent a lazy day doing absolutely nothing but...whew! I sure didn't. I'm really very tired. He brought a pizza home for dinner, which was great but my diet has really suffered under the pressure of the last few days. ...I know, I know...I'm trying not to beat myself up. I'll get back on that roll...I do have this: the knowledge that I still worked out twice a week all month long and made better choices whether it shows on the scale or not.
My son and daughter in law are coming over on Saturday and we are going out somewhere to celebrate our anniversary. That should be fun. I miss him terribly. Of course I will keep you posted on all of the things going on and the frenzied lifestyle I seem to lead these days. Wish me luck on all of it. In my most valued dreams I have that because I'm a world renound, loved and revered author. In the words of a wonderful country singer, Loretta Lynn "I really want it doo..." She wanted to be a star. So do I...at least I want my books to be 'stars.' See you next blog! ;-)
November 2, 2009 Diet Blog
Monday. I dragged myself through work. I am so exhausted from the weekend. Thankfully, we have tomorrow off for Election Day and I can sleep in a little and recuperate. Breakfast was 2 pineapple spears. 10am snack was weight watchers pretzels- about 4-5 points worth for those doing that diet. Lunch was put away and I had pretzels again, in two tablespoons of the Mexican bean dip that one of the girls was serving for her birthday. I had grapes as well. For 3pm snack I had several more pretzels- plain. I made noodles and sauce for dinner, which I ate too much of and then had a yogurt after body conditioning class.
Body conditioning class was grueling. I knew that it was because I'd eaten such an unhealthy unbalanced diet for three days. I could barely get motivated- never mind moving in a positive direction. I forced myself to do the 40 minutes but just barely. I couldn't do my usual 2.8, I did 2.5 and THAT was pushing myself. Incline; which is usually 2.5 or 2.0 was a sorry 1.5 and then just .5. I dragged myself home and threw myself into bed. (That is why I'm doing the Blog this morning instead of last night.)
I guess this months weight loss is a complete bust. I'll just be happy if I break even. Still- I really did try and I did my best in trying situations. I'm not going to beat myself up- at least not today. Tomorrow is another day; a new beginning and a day to get back on track. Join me! It's okay if you messed up. I did too. Start right this minute... its going to be okay... and remember: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive...and I know that's easier said than done...See you next time! ;-)
Body conditioning class was grueling. I knew that it was because I'd eaten such an unhealthy unbalanced diet for three days. I could barely get motivated- never mind moving in a positive direction. I forced myself to do the 40 minutes but just barely. I couldn't do my usual 2.8, I did 2.5 and THAT was pushing myself. Incline; which is usually 2.5 or 2.0 was a sorry 1.5 and then just .5. I dragged myself home and threw myself into bed. (That is why I'm doing the Blog this morning instead of last night.)
I guess this months weight loss is a complete bust. I'll just be happy if I break even. Still- I really did try and I did my best in trying situations. I'm not going to beat myself up- at least not today. Tomorrow is another day; a new beginning and a day to get back on track. Join me! It's okay if you messed up. I did too. Start right this minute... its going to be okay... and remember: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive...and I know that's easier said than done...See you next time! ;-)
October 31- November 2 Florida Trip
We were up at 3:30 am to get ready for our 6am flight to Florida for the weekend. My niece's wedding; medieval theme.... Once on the plane I immediately drifted off into a very deep sleep. The televisions in our row did not work, but I had the ipod that my husband gave me for the body conditioning class so it was fine.
About an hour in I woke up to snacks being served. I had a muffin before we took off- actually half of one because my husband and I split one, so I was hungry. The snack was Doritos mix. It was as delicious as it was bad for my diet. Still, I ate it. The woman next to me, who was an absolutely stunning blond not too far back from my age enjoyed hers with as much vigor.
We got to talking, although I must admit that the conversation was initiated by her. She told me that being pretty was as lousy as feeling the way that I do. She said the judgement goes by that and not the fact that she has a brain or that she is an astute business woman. She owns a bed and breakfast in the quaint town of Warwick New York. She was a lovely person and I marveled at her take from 'the other side of the fence' from my view. It's the second time I've heard it in a week.
The conversation- again at her initiation- veered to career- when she asked me what I did. I, of course mentioned my position as receptionist at the courthouse, my 4.0 in college toward my degree and my dreams of being a successful published author when my book comes out in the 'fall.' (It is fall. I've emailed the publisher. I'm still waiting for a response.) To make a long story short, her business-like astute mind took charge and I'm going to do a book signing at the bed and breakfast. She is also going to put me up on her website. She said that she knows other bed and breakfast owners that she will give my name to and 'George' the owner of the local bookstore as well. It was all so exciting! I took her card and wrote down my information for her. I'm going to mail her two of my manuscripts as well. (That's my own idea though.) So- how about that?
We got to the magnificent Crowne Plaza Hotel in Orlando and we had breakfast with my niece (the older sister of the bride) and her two cousins from the other side of her family. I could not believe how beautiful the three of them were. They were women- one; my niece a college graduate, one in Dartmouth in her senior year and the other in high school. I was astounded. By the way let me just say, if you want to stay in an excellent place- go there. It was superb.
We swam and got a little color. It was 90 degrees. It was HOT! We got to the wedding around 3:30 in the afternoon. We sat with my younger sister, her 12 year old daughter, and my Aunt. My niece was a stunning bride in her hand made medieval bridal gown and her groom was handsome and really looked the part in his chain link long tee shirt, belt, sword and black tights.
After the wedding we went back to the hotel and enjoyed frosty beverages and snacks in the lounge before retiring for the night.
The food intake was greasy and fattening. It was also done to medieval expectations. To explain it all would take about 25 blog spaces so I'll just leave it at that. I did not have cakes or sweets of any kind and my beverage was water all day with the exception of two sips of the two different types of moonshine that were made in the battle pit especially for this occasion. It was very hot and we were out in the woods with the dirt and the bugs so I really felt that drinking would make me ill- I was already feeling sour stomach from the food. It was good- I'm just used to eating healthier.
Sunday began with an early swim and meeting other patrons of the hotel. We all agreed about the awesome service and accommodations there. It was really first rate. We checked out at eleven am and were on our way into our final day in the sunshine. Among the highlights were having my picture taken with snow white, and sitting on a Harley- also having my photograph taken. Needless to say I sent the one of the Harley out via text to all of my friends. Believe me- that's NOT something they see everyday! They all loved it and most responded immediately. The food intake was another uncontrollable situation so I just did portion control to the best of my ability- but it didn't matter. It was all bad. I didn't throw the towel in though. I just worked with what I had and left the rest up to the Lord.
We were delayed at the airport two hours because President Obama was in town supporting a candidate in his party so instead of getting home at 7pm we landed at 9pm. We got home around 11pm. We were exhausted. It was fun. My husband says that we 'were quite the jet setters.' I guess we are. See you next Blog.
About an hour in I woke up to snacks being served. I had a muffin before we took off- actually half of one because my husband and I split one, so I was hungry. The snack was Doritos mix. It was as delicious as it was bad for my diet. Still, I ate it. The woman next to me, who was an absolutely stunning blond not too far back from my age enjoyed hers with as much vigor.
We got to talking, although I must admit that the conversation was initiated by her. She told me that being pretty was as lousy as feeling the way that I do. She said the judgement goes by that and not the fact that she has a brain or that she is an astute business woman. She owns a bed and breakfast in the quaint town of Warwick New York. She was a lovely person and I marveled at her take from 'the other side of the fence' from my view. It's the second time I've heard it in a week.
The conversation- again at her initiation- veered to career- when she asked me what I did. I, of course mentioned my position as receptionist at the courthouse, my 4.0 in college toward my degree and my dreams of being a successful published author when my book comes out in the 'fall.' (It is fall. I've emailed the publisher. I'm still waiting for a response.) To make a long story short, her business-like astute mind took charge and I'm going to do a book signing at the bed and breakfast. She is also going to put me up on her website. She said that she knows other bed and breakfast owners that she will give my name to and 'George' the owner of the local bookstore as well. It was all so exciting! I took her card and wrote down my information for her. I'm going to mail her two of my manuscripts as well. (That's my own idea though.) So- how about that?
We got to the magnificent Crowne Plaza Hotel in Orlando and we had breakfast with my niece (the older sister of the bride) and her two cousins from the other side of her family. I could not believe how beautiful the three of them were. They were women- one; my niece a college graduate, one in Dartmouth in her senior year and the other in high school. I was astounded. By the way let me just say, if you want to stay in an excellent place- go there. It was superb.
We swam and got a little color. It was 90 degrees. It was HOT! We got to the wedding around 3:30 in the afternoon. We sat with my younger sister, her 12 year old daughter, and my Aunt. My niece was a stunning bride in her hand made medieval bridal gown and her groom was handsome and really looked the part in his chain link long tee shirt, belt, sword and black tights.
After the wedding we went back to the hotel and enjoyed frosty beverages and snacks in the lounge before retiring for the night.
The food intake was greasy and fattening. It was also done to medieval expectations. To explain it all would take about 25 blog spaces so I'll just leave it at that. I did not have cakes or sweets of any kind and my beverage was water all day with the exception of two sips of the two different types of moonshine that were made in the battle pit especially for this occasion. It was very hot and we were out in the woods with the dirt and the bugs so I really felt that drinking would make me ill- I was already feeling sour stomach from the food. It was good- I'm just used to eating healthier.
Sunday began with an early swim and meeting other patrons of the hotel. We all agreed about the awesome service and accommodations there. It was really first rate. We checked out at eleven am and were on our way into our final day in the sunshine. Among the highlights were having my picture taken with snow white, and sitting on a Harley- also having my photograph taken. Needless to say I sent the one of the Harley out via text to all of my friends. Believe me- that's NOT something they see everyday! They all loved it and most responded immediately. The food intake was another uncontrollable situation so I just did portion control to the best of my ability- but it didn't matter. It was all bad. I didn't throw the towel in though. I just worked with what I had and left the rest up to the Lord.
We were delayed at the airport two hours because President Obama was in town supporting a candidate in his party so instead of getting home at 7pm we landed at 9pm. We got home around 11pm. We were exhausted. It was fun. My husband says that we 'were quite the jet setters.' I guess we are. See you next Blog.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
