October 11, 2009 Diet Blog

So Sunday was a whirlwind kind of a day. I slept in a bit, had a lite n fit yogurt for breakfast a ham n cheese omelet with wheat toast at the diner for lunch, which I didn't finish, and my husband barbecued steak and we had potato salad bought at the store for dinner. The steak was spicy. He made it different from the norm and the potato salad was disgusting! It tasted like vinegar. I ate a few bites, but yuck!
My Best BFF and I shopped at the malls all day. We exchanged stories and laughter throughout the entire afternoon. I always feel better when I hang out with her. I didn't buy anything. I just enjoyed her company. I am so very lonely these days with my husband away every weekend and our son married and gone. For me its a very hard life even though everyone says it should be so much easier now. I was defined by being a mom, child first and foremost and a wife for the last 25 years. It was gone in an instant and I had no time to prepare.
My son had said that he was coming home for a year after college to work and save money. He didn't do that. He proposed to his wife and they moved in together before he even graduated. I understood of course, and would not change it for anything. She's an absolute doll and perfect for him, but when I speak like this they get upset. It's NOT that I don't approve of them. I absolutely DO. She's perfect for him. I wouldn't deny him the kind of happiness he sees with his father and I. This one time, it's about me, which is an odd concept for even me to accept because I'm not that person ...ever. But I'm here to tell you that the 'empty nest' myth is so true.
' ...my hands, once busy, now are still. My days are long and hard to fill. I wish I could go back and do...the little things you asked me to...'
Thankfully I did do the things with him that he asked of me and then some. I have no regrets there. He's literally the son every mother dreams of having in every way. If he wasn't, maybe I wouldn't miss him so damn much. My mother doesn't miss me like that. We never had the relationship that I have with my son and I'm positive she would not say that I'm the daughter of her dreams. We're too different; there's too much baggage that goes with being her child. I miss her sometimes; I think she loves me as much as she is capable of loving someone that is her direct opposite, but not like I miss him; not like I love him.
Dinner was nice. Hubby cooked and cleaned while his diving buddy showed me videos of what was under the water. My husband made it into many of them. He loves diving. I couldn't see his face but I could still see his happiness. We joke that he was a cat in a past life and died in heat because cats everywhere are attracted to him. So much so that it's unreal! But now I'm thinking that maybe he died as a fish. Cats love fish. Naturally they would be attracted....
Bedtime came early for which I was thankful. Blairstown BFF and I got an apology note from Karaoke buddy. It was nice that he did that. It tells me something about him as a person. I like him even more now.
I'll end here on our usual note: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you next time. ;-)