October 23, 2009 Diet Blog

This week at work was properly dubbed 'freak week.' As I mentioned I work at the courthouse and I've got to tell you, every weirdo in the county came in. I realize that court is a hard place to be and that everyone there is going through rough times. We're as nice as we can be and these people are so mean and nasty though. We are not at the crux of their troubles, we are only there to assist with the process and the paperwork. We have no idea who they are or what their needs are until we meet them. We did not cause the problem and we do not have the ability to rid them of it. All we can do is assist them in the nicest, most easy manner we can in order for them to go through it. Why don't people know that? I was never so glad to see 4:30 pm on Friday!
I was discussing judging people with one of my co-workers because of this type of thing. The discussion led to being judged by weight. I told her that I felt very judged by it. She understood but didn't feel that on the same level as me. Of course she is quite a bit smaller. We exchanged stories about being judged though. Every heavy person has at least one; usually more.
My story happened two summers ago. I went to the store to purchase a birthday gift for my younger sister. She is also smaller than me, plus she has lovely light hazel-green eyes, dark hair and tan skin as compared to fat, red headed, freckle faced , alabaster skin- me. Anyway I found a lovely bathing suit for her, which was perfect because we were going on a cruise the following month together.
I was very pleased with my choice and brought it up to the cashier to pay for it. I waited on the long line patient and quiet until my turn came. The line behind me was long. The male cashier rang up my purchase and as he was removing that special tag that keeps people from stealing things he says to me "This is never going to fit you." He accented the word never and the word you in a negative manner. It wasn't whispered. I was mortified.
I meekly said that the gift was for my sister and I felt the blood rush to my face in embarrassment. I then turned on my heel and said, "But I don't want it now." The clerk was obviously surprised and said "I've already rung it up," as if to bully me. I repeated that I didn't want it and kept going without looking back. I held my head high and went right out of the store and got into my car. I then cried my eyes out. I ended up getting my sister a camera for the trip because hers broke a week later.
My co-workers story was similar. She went into a store to purchase a jacket for someone. She asked the clerk where the jackets were. The clerk pointed and told her "Plus sizes are over there." She is of a better nature than me and she was with a friend, not alone. She and her friend just looked at each other as if to exchange the "what a stupid jerk this guy is" opinion telepathically and laughed hard. How dare he though?
Later I went to get my nails done. My manicurist has lost 51 pounds in 10 weeks. When I asked her about it I found out that she was on that diet with the beads behind your ears. She went on to tell me that this diet fits her needs and she can fit it into her schedule better than any other. Okay then- it fits her lifestyle but I just wonder if she can keep it up forever more. I asked her. She says that the Doctor has a plan that puts you back on real food. She will let me know as she goes. I will of course keep you posted.
We discussed the being judged by your weight thing too as she is much bigger than me and feels even worse about it than I do. The upside of the conversation was that we are not alone. A very thin woman came and sat with my manicurist as I dried. We three got to talking and she mentioned how she also faced judgement because of her size. That surprised me. She was petite, no question. But very cute I thought. I listened intently. Apparently she had been ill for awhile and had really gotten thin. "Skin hanging over bone" she said. She was better now and more her usual self. People she didn't know called her anerexic and told her to 'go home and eat lard.' I had no idea that the other side of the weight spectrum experienced that as well. What is wrong with people? It's not our place to judge, it's the Lords! Gees!
I went to karaoke for awhile. Blairstown wasn't with me but I sang 'Crazy' in her honor and by request of one of her fans. I didn't do nearly as well of course, but she would've been proud. I'll sign off on that note reminding all of us 'do not judge...lest ye be judged...'
You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you next Blog! ;-)