This morning the first thing I did was to go onto face book and touch base with everyone on there. I'm not sure why. I'd had a long night filled with vivid dreams and what I think may be 'messages' to me. There were several. One was to stand back and brace myself...my life is going to change for the positive in a drastic way...to brace myself for it and not to be led astray by it. Another was the revelation that I still love my mom. I knew that; it's just hard to forgive her for the things that she let happen, the things she made sure would never happen, the useless drama and lies she surrounds herself in.... I've always loved her though. You only get one mother- good, bad or indifferent.
On face book I always do the 'message from God' icon. My message today was to expect others to treat me the way that I treat them. I don't. I let people use me like a doormat to wipe their muddy feet on. I need to stop that. The message about my mom was coupled with the new knowledge that 'I've never felt wanted.' As a young child mom left Dad and took my older sister with her. I was left behind with the boys. As a teen my mom's 'significant other' let my older sister and the youngest of 7, my baby sister stay up with him and watch tv while I was made to go to bed along with the boys. He always told me that I was no good. I was smacked around just for being a red head by him. When mom finally left him, she took my older sister and younger sister with her. This time I was left behind again, but the boys all had homes. I lived around until high school was done. It was awful. The family members that had the boys shared me. I understand that having an extra child is expensive, never mind two but I remember feeling so alone, lost and yes unwanted...the scenarios stack up pretty high and there is not enough time or space to fill you in but you get the idea.
That feeling- those emotions trigger me to head for my 'drug of choice' which is food; sweets really. It was all in the dream. Weird right? I'd forgotten or buried a lot of this.
I would have a vivid dream; wake up; know what the lesson was and fall asleep again. This repeated all night long.The angels were still talking to me today through other means. My angel calendar had this exact idea on it. It basically said to listen; how messages come and that I was being spoken to. And my coworker found feathers everywhere. For me- and I've told her this- feathers are representing to me that an angel is close by or with me. It was wild!
I'm feeling very blessed today. I can't wait to have the positive changes come! Apparently it will hit me with no less discretion than a tidal wave. I actually have to step back; brace and be ready. I'll keep you posted on that.
Today was the Halloween party at work, which actually means 'goodies fest' in every language known to man. My coworker thought of me though, and she did the sweetest thing. She made an 'ice box' cake out of graham crackers, diet chocolate pudding and squished chocolate graham cracker pie crust. It was decorated with cookies that said 'RIP' as if they were tombstones, chocolate bats and the like. I only ate a sliver of the non-fattening part for my 10am snack. For breakfast I had 3/4 of a cup of Special-K in 2% milk. For lunch I had smart Ones and carrot sticks, no 3pm snack. For dinner my husband cooked me 3 plain perogies and steak. I added grapes to it. That was it for the day. I'm actually heading to bed to try and get some sleep. We are flying to Florida for the weekend for my nieces wedding and literally have to be up by 3am. I will Blog about it when I get back on Sunday night or on Monday if I'm too wiped out.
Until them let me remind you that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! See you next time! ;-)
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
October 29, 2009 Diet Blog
Another busy day...another disappearing dollar. We worked hard and there was some inter office drama. I hate that underlying baloney. Sadly, I think that it is part of every office on the planet. The drama had nothing to do with me thankfully. I'm just so tired.
I had water melon for breakfast, grapes for snack, smart ones and lite n fit yogurt for lunch, carrot sticks for snack, smart ones for dinner and rice cakes for late snack. I feel like I did well, except that I got on the scale this morning, just to see what would happen and it said I'd only lost a pound. That upset me greatly. 1 pound in nearly a month? NO WAY! The official weigh in is on the 5th as promised but I just felt smaller so I thought I'd have a look. I'm sorry that I did. I was too depressed to tell you in words.
At lunch today one of the girls was having 'Total' breakfast cereal. She had gastro bypass surgery a year or two back and she watches her food intake so I am sure that the cereal is good for her. The box title caught my eye but it was the back of the box that caught my attention. The box said "Were in this together."
Upon closer scrutiny I realized that total is doing a campaign hand in hand with breast cancer. Pink. It is a worthy cause. Naturally the slogan caught me by surprise. It almost felt like a cosmic message to me of sorts. Not because I know that breast cancer research is so important (Because it really is...soooooo important...) but because I say that all of the time here on the Blog. I was feeling so down about the stupid number that I think the angels spoke to me in the only way I would understand the message. I felt better.
As if they needed to make sure I got the message, another co-worker; the one helping me promote my book- told me an odd story about what happened to him on Monday night. He'd gone to an industry party with the person that we were supposed to meet with. (In fact that's why the appointment got rescheduled. They were out very late.)
At around 5am or so they wandered out of the club that they were in and there was a homeless man asking for change. No one gave the man anything except my co-worker. He had .75 cents to his name and he gave it to the man. The man stood up and 'bumped his hand' with fists gently and gave him some numbers to play in the lottery verbally. He promised my co-worker the numbers were winning ones and disappeared into the night. My co-worker did not play the numbers but the other fellow checked them just to see. They came in at 2 million dollars. My co-worker believes- hand to God on his beloved Grandmother he said to me- that the homeless man was an angel. He wishes he had played the numbers. Unbelievable right? My angel's message was gentler than that but I got it.
One of the court clerks from the floor above us came down to see our attorney about a pending matter today. I hadn't seen her in months. She looked amazing. She said she lost 61 pounds using a plan and over the counter 'serotonin' pills recommended to her. She is also under a doctor's care. I actually entertained the thought of going to the store and purchasing them. I also entertained the thought of trying the beads behind the ears diet I've mentioned several times. At the end of it all I still believe that what we do must fit our lifestyle or its destined to fail ultimately, even if it succeeds temporarily. Plus, I still believe that spending extra money should not have to be part of the dieting process. The official weight number is a week away. Maybe I'm just filled with water or some silly thing...at least I hope so.
Another co-worker was upset today by office politics. She's very young and got undeservedly and unnecessarily hurt by another co-worker whose reputation in that particular area is not great. Without disclosing details she mentioned how the other person was making her feel like she never wanted to do another nice thing for anyone. That's what she did- she reached out, helped another, didn't keep it under wraps- because really it was just a nice thing and then she got reprimanded for it not being her place by a higher authority. Both sides were right. Since she is low man...well, you get the drift. Anyway, my co-worker at the front desk told her that giving someone that much power over her happiness and being herself was a mistake. That power should be hers, not theirs. The speech she gave the young coworker was clearly off the cuff and much more descriptive than this but it hit home as well. I agreed with every word and so did our young friend. By the end of the day she was feeling better. She took my desk co-workers very good advice. So did I.
For me, I can't let the number on the scale rule my happiness. I'm feeling better. I'm more comfortable in my clothes. I'm sticking to the exercise; eating the right foods and taking better care of me. That scale shouldn't have the power to rule my happiness. Amazing right? The angels talked to me through others all day. I'm glad that they did. I guess I really needed that. I'm glad they thought I was worth finding a way to communicate with.
I had thought that I would have time to read the magazines that I told you about but I did not get to it tonight. I had to go to the bank two town over to get money for my 25th anniversary gift for my husband. The traffic was bumper to bumper both ways. Hubby is going to key Largo diving with his class next week. I gave him the money to pay for it. Originally I saved it up towards a party. I really wanted one. It just wasn't in the cards. I wanted one when I turned 50 in June too but that wasn't in the cards either. Maybe for my 50th anniversary? Maybe for when my book comes out? We'll see I guess.
On that note I will sign off reminding you that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having fun. Stay positive. I'll see you in the next Blog! ;-)
I had water melon for breakfast, grapes for snack, smart ones and lite n fit yogurt for lunch, carrot sticks for snack, smart ones for dinner and rice cakes for late snack. I feel like I did well, except that I got on the scale this morning, just to see what would happen and it said I'd only lost a pound. That upset me greatly. 1 pound in nearly a month? NO WAY! The official weigh in is on the 5th as promised but I just felt smaller so I thought I'd have a look. I'm sorry that I did. I was too depressed to tell you in words.
At lunch today one of the girls was having 'Total' breakfast cereal. She had gastro bypass surgery a year or two back and she watches her food intake so I am sure that the cereal is good for her. The box title caught my eye but it was the back of the box that caught my attention. The box said "Were in this together."
Upon closer scrutiny I realized that total is doing a campaign hand in hand with breast cancer. Pink. It is a worthy cause. Naturally the slogan caught me by surprise. It almost felt like a cosmic message to me of sorts. Not because I know that breast cancer research is so important (Because it really is...soooooo important...) but because I say that all of the time here on the Blog. I was feeling so down about the stupid number that I think the angels spoke to me in the only way I would understand the message. I felt better.
As if they needed to make sure I got the message, another co-worker; the one helping me promote my book- told me an odd story about what happened to him on Monday night. He'd gone to an industry party with the person that we were supposed to meet with. (In fact that's why the appointment got rescheduled. They were out very late.)
At around 5am or so they wandered out of the club that they were in and there was a homeless man asking for change. No one gave the man anything except my co-worker. He had .75 cents to his name and he gave it to the man. The man stood up and 'bumped his hand' with fists gently and gave him some numbers to play in the lottery verbally. He promised my co-worker the numbers were winning ones and disappeared into the night. My co-worker did not play the numbers but the other fellow checked them just to see. They came in at 2 million dollars. My co-worker believes- hand to God on his beloved Grandmother he said to me- that the homeless man was an angel. He wishes he had played the numbers. Unbelievable right? My angel's message was gentler than that but I got it.
One of the court clerks from the floor above us came down to see our attorney about a pending matter today. I hadn't seen her in months. She looked amazing. She said she lost 61 pounds using a plan and over the counter 'serotonin' pills recommended to her. She is also under a doctor's care. I actually entertained the thought of going to the store and purchasing them. I also entertained the thought of trying the beads behind the ears diet I've mentioned several times. At the end of it all I still believe that what we do must fit our lifestyle or its destined to fail ultimately, even if it succeeds temporarily. Plus, I still believe that spending extra money should not have to be part of the dieting process. The official weight number is a week away. Maybe I'm just filled with water or some silly thing...at least I hope so.
Another co-worker was upset today by office politics. She's very young and got undeservedly and unnecessarily hurt by another co-worker whose reputation in that particular area is not great. Without disclosing details she mentioned how the other person was making her feel like she never wanted to do another nice thing for anyone. That's what she did- she reached out, helped another, didn't keep it under wraps- because really it was just a nice thing and then she got reprimanded for it not being her place by a higher authority. Both sides were right. Since she is low man...well, you get the drift. Anyway, my co-worker at the front desk told her that giving someone that much power over her happiness and being herself was a mistake. That power should be hers, not theirs. The speech she gave the young coworker was clearly off the cuff and much more descriptive than this but it hit home as well. I agreed with every word and so did our young friend. By the end of the day she was feeling better. She took my desk co-workers very good advice. So did I.
For me, I can't let the number on the scale rule my happiness. I'm feeling better. I'm more comfortable in my clothes. I'm sticking to the exercise; eating the right foods and taking better care of me. That scale shouldn't have the power to rule my happiness. Amazing right? The angels talked to me through others all day. I'm glad that they did. I guess I really needed that. I'm glad they thought I was worth finding a way to communicate with.
I had thought that I would have time to read the magazines that I told you about but I did not get to it tonight. I had to go to the bank two town over to get money for my 25th anniversary gift for my husband. The traffic was bumper to bumper both ways. Hubby is going to key Largo diving with his class next week. I gave him the money to pay for it. Originally I saved it up towards a party. I really wanted one. It just wasn't in the cards. I wanted one when I turned 50 in June too but that wasn't in the cards either. Maybe for my 50th anniversary? Maybe for when my book comes out? We'll see I guess.
On that note I will sign off reminding you that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having fun. Stay positive. I'll see you in the next Blog! ;-)
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
October 28, 2009 Diet Blog
Super busy day at work. My co-worker was out and the person that fills in and helps was late. It all worked out but I was exhausted by the time I got home. This morning I had watermelon for breakfast, grapes for snack, left over mac n cheese and green beans with a lite n fit yogurt for lunch, tuna melt for dinner and I will probably have watermelon when I'm finished with the blog. I'm definitely thirsty and the watermelon quenches that.
Body conditioning class was great. I did ten minutes on the treadmill at 2.0 incline, 2.8 speed and then 10 more after she taught the same way. As I continued I upped the speed to 3.0, incline still 2.0 and did the last 20 minutes. I was in one heck of a sweat I'll tell you that. I feel good though; as if I accomplished something.
I picked up another Women's First Magazine. The cover is burnt Orange and Melissa Joan Hart is on the cover; you know 'Sabrina The Teen Age Witch' among other parts. Tomorrow my hubby goes to Seton Hall to teach diving. I'm hoping to read all three articles that I have stacked up. I will tell you all about them when I'm able.
I'm happy to report that two of the tear off parts of the papers I hung up on the bulletin board at the college were torn off. One person emailed me for the link. I was very excited about it! I would love for it to 'take off' and get really big and global like I dream my books will become.
The meeting with the producer of the children's show that my other co-worker set up had to be rescheduled until next week. I'm hoping that will help me too. I'm inching forward towards my goals, but at least I'm moving. I'll let you know on the 5th how my weight loss is going as promised. My 25th anniversary is the 4th though and I feel as if I've messed up a lot this month. Still...forge ahead. I can't change what I can't change but I can change what comes next and shape the future. That's also one of my goals...in fact, I think its my biggest goal because it literally fits everything.
I'm going to sign off here reminding everyone and myself that we look as good as we can for today. Tomorrow we will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having fun. Stay positive. Remember...I'm here. Were all in this together. See you next blog. ;-)
Body conditioning class was great. I did ten minutes on the treadmill at 2.0 incline, 2.8 speed and then 10 more after she taught the same way. As I continued I upped the speed to 3.0, incline still 2.0 and did the last 20 minutes. I was in one heck of a sweat I'll tell you that. I feel good though; as if I accomplished something.
I picked up another Women's First Magazine. The cover is burnt Orange and Melissa Joan Hart is on the cover; you know 'Sabrina The Teen Age Witch' among other parts. Tomorrow my hubby goes to Seton Hall to teach diving. I'm hoping to read all three articles that I have stacked up. I will tell you all about them when I'm able.
I'm happy to report that two of the tear off parts of the papers I hung up on the bulletin board at the college were torn off. One person emailed me for the link. I was very excited about it! I would love for it to 'take off' and get really big and global like I dream my books will become.
The meeting with the producer of the children's show that my other co-worker set up had to be rescheduled until next week. I'm hoping that will help me too. I'm inching forward towards my goals, but at least I'm moving. I'll let you know on the 5th how my weight loss is going as promised. My 25th anniversary is the 4th though and I feel as if I've messed up a lot this month. Still...forge ahead. I can't change what I can't change but I can change what comes next and shape the future. That's also one of my goals...in fact, I think its my biggest goal because it literally fits everything.
I'm going to sign off here reminding everyone and myself that we look as good as we can for today. Tomorrow we will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having fun. Stay positive. Remember...I'm here. Were all in this together. See you next blog. ;-)
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
October 27, 2009 Diet Blog
Another crazy day. I'm tired. It was the birthday of one of my co-workers; the best adoption clerk in the county. She had told me not to eat breakfast or to bring lunch and assured me that there would be healthy foods served by her and lots of it. I took her at her word. She did have vegetables and dip, and bagels but everything else- though delicious I'm sure- had no health benefits what so ever. I knew I'd made a mistake right away. My own fault...
I had a bagel- plain- just the bagel; no butter, cream cheese or anything. That was breakfast and 10 am snack. The same for lunch, but with a handful of carrot sticks- no dip. That was also 3pm snack. I grocery shopped after work because the meeting I was scheduled for got rescheduled. Then I went home and cooked multi-grain spaghetti in regular sauce because the low fat kind was no where to be found. Later I had a lite n fit yogurt. I'm positive that my calorie intake was exorbitant today, but I can honestly tell you that I did the best I could. I had none of the fattening foods, cakes, cookies or goodies offered for the birthday. Still, I'm completely unhappy with myself.
My coworker that works the front desk with me had an exceptionally rough time dieting today as well; not just because of the food. Her troubles were an emotional response to something that she saw and heard today. To give you an explanation and make a long story short, she dealt with the parent of a young person that had passed away as a result of being a passenger on a motorcycle. The news hit her no harder than a missle hitting the building next door if you get my drift. The reason being that someone very close to her recently sustained multiple injuries from a motorcycle accident as well. There have been several surgeries already and more to come as one of the results of the accident. The injuries are severe. One of the person's ankles was shattered and mangled. That person lived and they were very lucky. She took the moment hard. She ran right to the cake. She volunteered the explanation as I said nothing. She needed to tell me; to reach out... We talked about it. It's not my place to judge another. Who am I to do that. I'm huge myself....
As she sat down with the cake she told me what she was doing and why. I understood. She knew what and why but still chose to feel comforted in the way that she was used to. It was fast. Still, I found myself asking her later if it had worked. It really hadn't. In fact she felt worse. Still she chose to continue on that path further. I completely understood. There isn't really an explanation- at least not one that I could rationally explain to someone who has never experienced that kind of thing. I've done it myself. Truth is- I'm fighting it right now. It's okay. We'll pick ourselves up by the bootstraps and begin again. The trick is to do it right now; this very minute!
I feel like I've had a lot of mishaps lately too. I'm not sure if that's just because I'm so aware of it or if its because I actually have. I know that I've been fighting way too many emotional battles these days. I wonder sometimes why things can't just be easier. I'm tired. Why do we have to fight for every pound and other people never gain an ounce? It seems unbalanced and unfair. Right about here I used to make a joke about weight distribution being the only mistake I believed that the Lord had ever made and how I was going to inquire about it when I get to heaven. Most people laugh. But I no longer believe that its actually an error on the Lord's part because of a conversation I had with someone awhile back.
Maybe this weight and this fight with it is what makes me compassionate, loving and kind when others would not be in the same circumstances I'm put in on a daily basis. Compassion breeds compassion, and without the pain we cannot learn compassion. Still, I find myself wondering why I am the one chosen to learn compassion and not the beautiful girl who gets through life solely on her looks... I guess we'll never know the answer to that question.
I'm going to forge ahead; whittle away at the pounds until they go; become the best version of myself that I can. I'm going to forgive myself- not make things any worse and I remind you to do the same and to remember that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Try to stay positive...even in the face of emotional adversity...and if you falter; I'm right here... not to judge or correct...but to just be beside you. See you next blog. ;-)
I had a bagel- plain- just the bagel; no butter, cream cheese or anything. That was breakfast and 10 am snack. The same for lunch, but with a handful of carrot sticks- no dip. That was also 3pm snack. I grocery shopped after work because the meeting I was scheduled for got rescheduled. Then I went home and cooked multi-grain spaghetti in regular sauce because the low fat kind was no where to be found. Later I had a lite n fit yogurt. I'm positive that my calorie intake was exorbitant today, but I can honestly tell you that I did the best I could. I had none of the fattening foods, cakes, cookies or goodies offered for the birthday. Still, I'm completely unhappy with myself.
My coworker that works the front desk with me had an exceptionally rough time dieting today as well; not just because of the food. Her troubles were an emotional response to something that she saw and heard today. To give you an explanation and make a long story short, she dealt with the parent of a young person that had passed away as a result of being a passenger on a motorcycle. The news hit her no harder than a missle hitting the building next door if you get my drift. The reason being that someone very close to her recently sustained multiple injuries from a motorcycle accident as well. There have been several surgeries already and more to come as one of the results of the accident. The injuries are severe. One of the person's ankles was shattered and mangled. That person lived and they were very lucky. She took the moment hard. She ran right to the cake. She volunteered the explanation as I said nothing. She needed to tell me; to reach out... We talked about it. It's not my place to judge another. Who am I to do that. I'm huge myself....
As she sat down with the cake she told me what she was doing and why. I understood. She knew what and why but still chose to feel comforted in the way that she was used to. It was fast. Still, I found myself asking her later if it had worked. It really hadn't. In fact she felt worse. Still she chose to continue on that path further. I completely understood. There isn't really an explanation- at least not one that I could rationally explain to someone who has never experienced that kind of thing. I've done it myself. Truth is- I'm fighting it right now. It's okay. We'll pick ourselves up by the bootstraps and begin again. The trick is to do it right now; this very minute!
I feel like I've had a lot of mishaps lately too. I'm not sure if that's just because I'm so aware of it or if its because I actually have. I know that I've been fighting way too many emotional battles these days. I wonder sometimes why things can't just be easier. I'm tired. Why do we have to fight for every pound and other people never gain an ounce? It seems unbalanced and unfair. Right about here I used to make a joke about weight distribution being the only mistake I believed that the Lord had ever made and how I was going to inquire about it when I get to heaven. Most people laugh. But I no longer believe that its actually an error on the Lord's part because of a conversation I had with someone awhile back.
Maybe this weight and this fight with it is what makes me compassionate, loving and kind when others would not be in the same circumstances I'm put in on a daily basis. Compassion breeds compassion, and without the pain we cannot learn compassion. Still, I find myself wondering why I am the one chosen to learn compassion and not the beautiful girl who gets through life solely on her looks... I guess we'll never know the answer to that question.
I'm going to forge ahead; whittle away at the pounds until they go; become the best version of myself that I can. I'm going to forgive myself- not make things any worse and I remind you to do the same and to remember that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Try to stay positive...even in the face of emotional adversity...and if you falter; I'm right here... not to judge or correct...but to just be beside you. See you next blog. ;-)
Monday, October 26, 2009
October 26, 2009 Diet Blog
Today began as a tired one. I dragged myself out of bed and through the morning ritual robotically. After a cup of coffee I was good to go. I had much to do before work.
My co-worker just closed on her first home so I wanted to do the special good luck tradition that I've done for years, for her. I purchased a lovely picnic basket at 'Crate and Barrel' yesterday while shopping in Woodbury Commons in New York. I put a bottle of wine; not just any wine- Santa Margarita Pinot Grigio, a loaf of bread; Cinnamon raisin swirl, and a container of salt; Morton's into it. These are symbols of good luck for new home owners; not the brand names- that was all me. The items mean special things. The bread is so the household will never know hunger, the salt is so their lives will always have flavor, the wine is so that their household will always know luxury. The woven basket is so that they will weave long lasting friendships and love in their new community. I gave it to her. I think she really liked it. I got it ready before work, which meant I had to go to the grocery store for the bread and salt. I had purchased the wine yesterday.
I wore one of my new blouses. It's very flowing and angel like. I felt pretty in it though I felt fat today; bloated or something; I'm not sure why. I just forged ahead though. I felt like I ran the marathon to get to work on time. I gave up my few minutes of meditation to do so. I missed it. The morning flew by in an instant and it was lunch time. We discussed missing the coworker that left to have her baby. It's nice but just not the same without her.
The afternoon raced by as well. I blinked and the workday was over. I came home, cooked dinner for hubby and myself; went to school and watched him teach diving for an hour; went to body conditioning class where I did 40 minutes on the treadmill at the great dismay of my left knee and now I'm in and doing the blog before shower and bed. Whew!
I had a weight watcher one point chocolate cake for breakfast because I forgot to eat this morning. Grapes for snack, Smart Ones and lite n fit yogurt for lunch, 6 silver dollar rice cakes for snack, steak, mac n cheese and green beans in correct portions for dinner. I am going to grab a spear of watermelon before the shower. I'm feeling hungry. I'm also very tired. I think all of that shopping caught up with me. We walked for hours and hours. I'm not sorry, just pooped.
I do want to let you know that my emotions were on a roller coaster ride today. I'm unsure of why. I feel bloated too; awkward. I'll keep you posted. In the meantime: Remember, you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Don't let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having fun. Stay positive. See you next time. ;-)
My co-worker just closed on her first home so I wanted to do the special good luck tradition that I've done for years, for her. I purchased a lovely picnic basket at 'Crate and Barrel' yesterday while shopping in Woodbury Commons in New York. I put a bottle of wine; not just any wine- Santa Margarita Pinot Grigio, a loaf of bread; Cinnamon raisin swirl, and a container of salt; Morton's into it. These are symbols of good luck for new home owners; not the brand names- that was all me. The items mean special things. The bread is so the household will never know hunger, the salt is so their lives will always have flavor, the wine is so that their household will always know luxury. The woven basket is so that they will weave long lasting friendships and love in their new community. I gave it to her. I think she really liked it. I got it ready before work, which meant I had to go to the grocery store for the bread and salt. I had purchased the wine yesterday.
I wore one of my new blouses. It's very flowing and angel like. I felt pretty in it though I felt fat today; bloated or something; I'm not sure why. I just forged ahead though. I felt like I ran the marathon to get to work on time. I gave up my few minutes of meditation to do so. I missed it. The morning flew by in an instant and it was lunch time. We discussed missing the coworker that left to have her baby. It's nice but just not the same without her.
The afternoon raced by as well. I blinked and the workday was over. I came home, cooked dinner for hubby and myself; went to school and watched him teach diving for an hour; went to body conditioning class where I did 40 minutes on the treadmill at the great dismay of my left knee and now I'm in and doing the blog before shower and bed. Whew!
I had a weight watcher one point chocolate cake for breakfast because I forgot to eat this morning. Grapes for snack, Smart Ones and lite n fit yogurt for lunch, 6 silver dollar rice cakes for snack, steak, mac n cheese and green beans in correct portions for dinner. I am going to grab a spear of watermelon before the shower. I'm feeling hungry. I'm also very tired. I think all of that shopping caught up with me. We walked for hours and hours. I'm not sorry, just pooped.
I do want to let you know that my emotions were on a roller coaster ride today. I'm unsure of why. I feel bloated too; awkward. I'll keep you posted. In the meantime: Remember, you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Don't let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having fun. Stay positive. See you next time. ;-)
Sunday, October 25, 2009
October 25, 2009 Diet Blog
My day was so very busy. I enjoyed it thoroughly. I got up earlier than my husband, but not early. I kept thinking about the realization that I came to yesterday about being happy and I decided to make him breakfast in bed. I brought him up coffee and a wheat Thomas English muffin butter and with strawberry jam. This is actually one of his favorite things believe it or not. Then I went downstairs and brought him up a second cup of coffee when he needed it.
I had a nice hot shower, cleaned up the kitchen, got coupons on line and was off to the home of my best BFF for a girls day out of shopping. She purchased an egg, ham and American cheese on a wheat bagel for me along with a diet raspberry Snapple. I had not had breakfast, or snack and it was past lunch time so I ate it. It was delicious.
I drove us to Woodbury Commons in New York which was quite a haul and we shopped all day until six o'clock. The only thing I had was water. She prepared a meal of wheat pasta, shrimp, onions, mushrooms and peas in Rinaldi spaghetti sauce for dinner. I ate a small portion of that. I did not have the Italian Bread she served with it. I had red wine and got home by 9 pm. It was a lovely day.
I ate weird and exercised much but I'm just feeling so happy today that it doesn't matter. I want to continue on this exact course if I am able too. Life is so good. I don't want to miss out on anything because of negative emotion anymore. My dreams are coming true...at least that's what it feels like to me. As always, I will keep you informed!
Remember: you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stat positive. See you next time. ;-)
I had a nice hot shower, cleaned up the kitchen, got coupons on line and was off to the home of my best BFF for a girls day out of shopping. She purchased an egg, ham and American cheese on a wheat bagel for me along with a diet raspberry Snapple. I had not had breakfast, or snack and it was past lunch time so I ate it. It was delicious.
I drove us to Woodbury Commons in New York which was quite a haul and we shopped all day until six o'clock. The only thing I had was water. She prepared a meal of wheat pasta, shrimp, onions, mushrooms and peas in Rinaldi spaghetti sauce for dinner. I ate a small portion of that. I did not have the Italian Bread she served with it. I had red wine and got home by 9 pm. It was a lovely day.
I ate weird and exercised much but I'm just feeling so happy today that it doesn't matter. I want to continue on this exact course if I am able too. Life is so good. I don't want to miss out on anything because of negative emotion anymore. My dreams are coming true...at least that's what it feels like to me. As always, I will keep you informed!
Remember: you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stat positive. See you next time. ;-)
October 24, 2009- Diet Blog
This is going to be fairly quick because I'm on the run in my usual fashion. I got tons of housework accomplished and I'm going shopping with my best BFF tomorrow. My husband and I spent a lovely night together holding hands and watching old movies. I realized how happy I am. It may seem odd but I wasn't for awhile. I was aggravated, frustrated, feeling neglected and left out, lonely and all of the negative things one could possibly imagine. Yesterday I saw an episode of the popular television comedy show 'Everybody Loves Raymond.' This show is from the past and most likely was a re-run but I think I was meant to see it.
It was Robert and Amy's 3 month wedding anniversary and they were all goo goo- gaga as newly weds would be. You know the type; dripping with sugar... they hadn't faced the reality of what a real marriage is yet. Then there's Debra and Raymond. Married 16 years or so. The kids are still small- money is tight...the real hard part of marriage. Raymond's mom and Dad are married 46 years and not what you'd consider the epitome of...well sanity let alone a good marriage. Amy decides that she and Robert need to 'help' the other two couples with their marriages. She buys them self- help books on the subject. At 3 months, its as ridiculous as it sounds.
Debra is very angry as is Raymond. But Raymond's parents are indifferent. Raymond's mother gives a speech about an actual marriage success story and really- no one could fight it because she obviously has the secret at her disposal after 46 years. The show was hilarious- but the secret was real. She said that she and her husband Frank had gone through the entire gamut of emotions; everything from love to hate. They know each others faults. The secret is that they are still okay with each other.
As much of a 'scuba widow' as I am, and as mad as I get at him, I cannot picture my life going forward without this man. We are married 25 years on November 4th. That's half my life- I turned 50 in June. That's not to say that I'm not going to get angry again- that's just silly...but I still love him. I genuinely love him...who knew...
The reason I bring that up is because those problems usually send me to the frig. I am very heavy- even though I'm trying to do something about it- the fact is still the same. When I'm this heavy, it's a sign of unhappiness. I really thought I was unhappy for awhile, but I'm not. We're actually 'okay' with each other too. Our lives are not the comedy show that 'Everybody Loves Raymond' was but we still share a lot of laughs. We still hold hands and that says something. I actually thought that the end was near when our son moved out and got married. The events that occurred in my friendships and the lives of people I love changed me and that for the better. I think realizing that may help my emotions to stabilize a little bit. I certainly hope so. That's it for today! I'm on the run! See you next Blog! ;-)
It was Robert and Amy's 3 month wedding anniversary and they were all goo goo- gaga as newly weds would be. You know the type; dripping with sugar... they hadn't faced the reality of what a real marriage is yet. Then there's Debra and Raymond. Married 16 years or so. The kids are still small- money is tight...the real hard part of marriage. Raymond's mom and Dad are married 46 years and not what you'd consider the epitome of...well sanity let alone a good marriage. Amy decides that she and Robert need to 'help' the other two couples with their marriages. She buys them self- help books on the subject. At 3 months, its as ridiculous as it sounds.
Debra is very angry as is Raymond. But Raymond's parents are indifferent. Raymond's mother gives a speech about an actual marriage success story and really- no one could fight it because she obviously has the secret at her disposal after 46 years. The show was hilarious- but the secret was real. She said that she and her husband Frank had gone through the entire gamut of emotions; everything from love to hate. They know each others faults. The secret is that they are still okay with each other.
As much of a 'scuba widow' as I am, and as mad as I get at him, I cannot picture my life going forward without this man. We are married 25 years on November 4th. That's half my life- I turned 50 in June. That's not to say that I'm not going to get angry again- that's just silly...but I still love him. I genuinely love him...who knew...
The reason I bring that up is because those problems usually send me to the frig. I am very heavy- even though I'm trying to do something about it- the fact is still the same. When I'm this heavy, it's a sign of unhappiness. I really thought I was unhappy for awhile, but I'm not. We're actually 'okay' with each other too. Our lives are not the comedy show that 'Everybody Loves Raymond' was but we still share a lot of laughs. We still hold hands and that says something. I actually thought that the end was near when our son moved out and got married. The events that occurred in my friendships and the lives of people I love changed me and that for the better. I think realizing that may help my emotions to stabilize a little bit. I certainly hope so. That's it for today! I'm on the run! See you next Blog! ;-)
Saturday, October 24, 2009
October 23, 2009 Diet Blog
This week at work was properly dubbed 'freak week.' As I mentioned I work at the courthouse and I've got to tell you, every weirdo in the county came in. I realize that court is a hard place to be and that everyone there is going through rough times. We're as nice as we can be and these people are so mean and nasty though. We are not at the crux of their troubles, we are only there to assist with the process and the paperwork. We have no idea who they are or what their needs are until we meet them. We did not cause the problem and we do not have the ability to rid them of it. All we can do is assist them in the nicest, most easy manner we can in order for them to go through it. Why don't people know that? I was never so glad to see 4:30 pm on Friday!
I was discussing judging people with one of my co-workers because of this type of thing. The discussion led to being judged by weight. I told her that I felt very judged by it. She understood but didn't feel that on the same level as me. Of course she is quite a bit smaller. We exchanged stories about being judged though. Every heavy person has at least one; usually more.
My story happened two summers ago. I went to the store to purchase a birthday gift for my younger sister. She is also smaller than me, plus she has lovely light hazel-green eyes, dark hair and tan skin as compared to fat, red headed, freckle faced , alabaster skin- me. Anyway I found a lovely bathing suit for her, which was perfect because we were going on a cruise the following month together.
I was very pleased with my choice and brought it up to the cashier to pay for it. I waited on the long line patient and quiet until my turn came. The line behind me was long. The male cashier rang up my purchase and as he was removing that special tag that keeps people from stealing things he says to me "This is never going to fit you." He accented the word never and the word you in a negative manner. It wasn't whispered. I was mortified.
I meekly said that the gift was for my sister and I felt the blood rush to my face in embarrassment. I then turned on my heel and said, "But I don't want it now." The clerk was obviously surprised and said "I've already rung it up," as if to bully me. I repeated that I didn't want it and kept going without looking back. I held my head high and went right out of the store and got into my car. I then cried my eyes out. I ended up getting my sister a camera for the trip because hers broke a week later.
My co-workers story was similar. She went into a store to purchase a jacket for someone. She asked the clerk where the jackets were. The clerk pointed and told her "Plus sizes are over there." She is of a better nature than me and she was with a friend, not alone. She and her friend just looked at each other as if to exchange the "what a stupid jerk this guy is" opinion telepathically and laughed hard. How dare he though?
Later I went to get my nails done. My manicurist has lost 51 pounds in 10 weeks. When I asked her about it I found out that she was on that diet with the beads behind your ears. She went on to tell me that this diet fits her needs and she can fit it into her schedule better than any other. Okay then- it fits her lifestyle but I just wonder if she can keep it up forever more. I asked her. She says that the Doctor has a plan that puts you back on real food. She will let me know as she goes. I will of course keep you posted.
We discussed the being judged by your weight thing too as she is much bigger than me and feels even worse about it than I do. The upside of the conversation was that we are not alone. A very thin woman came and sat with my manicurist as I dried. We three got to talking and she mentioned how she also faced judgement because of her size. That surprised me. She was petite, no question. But very cute I thought. I listened intently. Apparently she had been ill for awhile and had really gotten thin. "Skin hanging over bone" she said. She was better now and more her usual self. People she didn't know called her anerexic and told her to 'go home and eat lard.' I had no idea that the other side of the weight spectrum experienced that as well. What is wrong with people? It's not our place to judge, it's the Lords! Gees!
I went to karaoke for awhile. Blairstown wasn't with me but I sang 'Crazy' in her honor and by request of one of her fans. I didn't do nearly as well of course, but she would've been proud. I'll sign off on that note reminding all of us 'do not judge...lest ye be judged...'
You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you next Blog! ;-)
I was discussing judging people with one of my co-workers because of this type of thing. The discussion led to being judged by weight. I told her that I felt very judged by it. She understood but didn't feel that on the same level as me. Of course she is quite a bit smaller. We exchanged stories about being judged though. Every heavy person has at least one; usually more.
My story happened two summers ago. I went to the store to purchase a birthday gift for my younger sister. She is also smaller than me, plus she has lovely light hazel-green eyes, dark hair and tan skin as compared to fat, red headed, freckle faced , alabaster skin- me. Anyway I found a lovely bathing suit for her, which was perfect because we were going on a cruise the following month together.
I was very pleased with my choice and brought it up to the cashier to pay for it. I waited on the long line patient and quiet until my turn came. The line behind me was long. The male cashier rang up my purchase and as he was removing that special tag that keeps people from stealing things he says to me "This is never going to fit you." He accented the word never and the word you in a negative manner. It wasn't whispered. I was mortified.
I meekly said that the gift was for my sister and I felt the blood rush to my face in embarrassment. I then turned on my heel and said, "But I don't want it now." The clerk was obviously surprised and said "I've already rung it up," as if to bully me. I repeated that I didn't want it and kept going without looking back. I held my head high and went right out of the store and got into my car. I then cried my eyes out. I ended up getting my sister a camera for the trip because hers broke a week later.
My co-workers story was similar. She went into a store to purchase a jacket for someone. She asked the clerk where the jackets were. The clerk pointed and told her "Plus sizes are over there." She is of a better nature than me and she was with a friend, not alone. She and her friend just looked at each other as if to exchange the "what a stupid jerk this guy is" opinion telepathically and laughed hard. How dare he though?
Later I went to get my nails done. My manicurist has lost 51 pounds in 10 weeks. When I asked her about it I found out that she was on that diet with the beads behind your ears. She went on to tell me that this diet fits her needs and she can fit it into her schedule better than any other. Okay then- it fits her lifestyle but I just wonder if she can keep it up forever more. I asked her. She says that the Doctor has a plan that puts you back on real food. She will let me know as she goes. I will of course keep you posted.
We discussed the being judged by your weight thing too as she is much bigger than me and feels even worse about it than I do. The upside of the conversation was that we are not alone. A very thin woman came and sat with my manicurist as I dried. We three got to talking and she mentioned how she also faced judgement because of her size. That surprised me. She was petite, no question. But very cute I thought. I listened intently. Apparently she had been ill for awhile and had really gotten thin. "Skin hanging over bone" she said. She was better now and more her usual self. People she didn't know called her anerexic and told her to 'go home and eat lard.' I had no idea that the other side of the weight spectrum experienced that as well. What is wrong with people? It's not our place to judge, it's the Lords! Gees!
I went to karaoke for awhile. Blairstown wasn't with me but I sang 'Crazy' in her honor and by request of one of her fans. I didn't do nearly as well of course, but she would've been proud. I'll sign off on that note reminding all of us 'do not judge...lest ye be judged...'
You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you next Blog! ;-)
Thursday, October 22, 2009
October 22, 2009 Diet Blog
I began today with a hug from my husband. I mention it because I felt smaller against him. It was an odd sensation. I looked in the mirror and I saw no difference in how I look. I just felt it for that one minute. It was a great minute. The feeling stayed with me throughout the day. I remembered it. I don't feel like I've done as good as I should have on my diet.
What I mean is that going back through the Blogs I see that I've made a lot of mistakes. I grapple with myself in trying to stay the course, but I faltered a bunch of times. Still, I realize that I'm doing better because I not only know when I've done the wrong thing, which was never the problem- but when I do waiver from the path I focus on getting right back on it again. I think that says something. Of course the proof will be in the actual loss on the 5th of each month although I wish it wasn't. I really wish it was in the way I felt today. I'd like to measure my success by that. It was nice.
I had water melon for breakfast, grapes for snack, Smart Ones, a banana and a yogurt for lunch. Left over wheat noodles in sauce for dinner and peanut butter for snack. Weird snack I know, but that's what I wanted.
The new coworker that wants to help me with promoting my books got me a television spot on a small PBS television show for children. I will have 5 minutes to read a children's story that I have written for children. (I haven't chosen which one yet. There are many.) Afterwards I will be interviewed and I can then promote my adult book that is coming out in the fall. It is very exciting. I'm so impressed that this happened that quick. I haven't got all of the details yet and he says he has several more things cooking in hopes of helping me, but really- I'm so impressed already! He is the same age as my son. Young blood... the energy of youth... thank you lord.
I had anti-harassment training at work today. It was almost two hours long. It was a mandatory seminar. It was so cold in there that we were all shivering. It was more interesting than last years was but after 6 I think we should be let off the hook. I think that a lot of people agreed with me. There weren't very many people in there. In previous years the room was packed.
My husband is teaching his diving class tonight so I am home alone. I didn't mind it though. I read a bunch of my old children's stories and tried to think of which one would be the best one to read on the television show. I'm going to go curl up with a nice magazine and a blanket and read on the sofa. The house is quiet. I'm actually glad for that tonight. I'm so tired.
I will end here with a promise to keep you posted on the progress of...well of everything and remind you that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body interfere with you having fun. Stay positive. See you tomorrow. ;-)
What I mean is that going back through the Blogs I see that I've made a lot of mistakes. I grapple with myself in trying to stay the course, but I faltered a bunch of times. Still, I realize that I'm doing better because I not only know when I've done the wrong thing, which was never the problem- but when I do waiver from the path I focus on getting right back on it again. I think that says something. Of course the proof will be in the actual loss on the 5th of each month although I wish it wasn't. I really wish it was in the way I felt today. I'd like to measure my success by that. It was nice.
I had water melon for breakfast, grapes for snack, Smart Ones, a banana and a yogurt for lunch. Left over wheat noodles in sauce for dinner and peanut butter for snack. Weird snack I know, but that's what I wanted.
The new coworker that wants to help me with promoting my books got me a television spot on a small PBS television show for children. I will have 5 minutes to read a children's story that I have written for children. (I haven't chosen which one yet. There are many.) Afterwards I will be interviewed and I can then promote my adult book that is coming out in the fall. It is very exciting. I'm so impressed that this happened that quick. I haven't got all of the details yet and he says he has several more things cooking in hopes of helping me, but really- I'm so impressed already! He is the same age as my son. Young blood... the energy of youth... thank you lord.
I had anti-harassment training at work today. It was almost two hours long. It was a mandatory seminar. It was so cold in there that we were all shivering. It was more interesting than last years was but after 6 I think we should be let off the hook. I think that a lot of people agreed with me. There weren't very many people in there. In previous years the room was packed.
My husband is teaching his diving class tonight so I am home alone. I didn't mind it though. I read a bunch of my old children's stories and tried to think of which one would be the best one to read on the television show. I'm going to go curl up with a nice magazine and a blanket and read on the sofa. The house is quiet. I'm actually glad for that tonight. I'm so tired.
I will end here with a promise to keep you posted on the progress of...well of everything and remind you that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body interfere with you having fun. Stay positive. See you tomorrow. ;-)
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
October 21, 2009 Diet Blog
Today was super busy at work. My co-worker was out and it was crazy! President Obama was speaking in the Roth Center at Fairleigh Dickenson College in Hackensack to endorse Governor Corzine's campaign to re-up. We got out a half hour early so that we could beat the grid lock it would cause. I felt like I literally ran a marathon today.
One very nice thing happened. The new boy who is my sons age joined our lunch hour. One of the girls inquired as to what was happening with my books. To make a long story short he and his mother work as 'event planners.' He is sure that he has connections that will help me market my book when it comes out and offered to do so. I'm so excited I could bust!
I had forgotten to eat breakfast so I had the snack, which was grapes at around 9am when I realized I was starving and why. At 11 am I had one of those weight watcher's chocolate one point cakes to off set my hunger. For lunch I had left over chicken and green beans- yes, I made enough for an army. I had no 3pm snack, but had wheat noodles n sauce for dinner.
After that I spoke to my young PA BFF via face book. We planned on talking as soon as I got in tonight. I've text her twice though and so I assume she forgot or some cute boy whisked her off somewhere or something along those lines. I'm a little disappointed but of course I totally understand. It's been awhile, but I sincerely remember being 25 once...I think...
I read an interesting article today that I wanted to share with you. Believe it or not it was posted on the 'California Psychics' website. In case I haven't mentioned it before I love the supernatural. Now make no mistake here, I believe in God. I do not practice evil or even think that way. I do like horoscope and fortune telling and things that cannot be explained away by typical explanation. Anyway: I found the article on there. It was titled: '6 Lessons From Failure, Embrace your mistakes' and it was written by Jill Hoppe. Jill says that "It wasn't a mistake- it was a lesson! Learn it well."
There were six parts to it. Lesson #1 was Acceptance. Basically, bad feelings following bad actions make things worse. Lesson #2 was Remember to laugh. That one is pretty self explanatory, if you laugh at yourself it helps your self esteem. Lesson #3 was Get Perspective. It was the longest part of the article. Basically to let yourself know that it's okay to mess up. Lesson #4 was to stay optimistic. Try to maintain a positive outlook. Lesson #5 was Find the silver lining. Look at the bright side. There is one if we look. Lesson #6 was to keep going. I am here to tell you that for me, that is the hardest one sometimes. When we want to crawl into bed and pull the covers over our head- that is exactly when we shouldn't. Jill finished the article saying: "Always remember that every problem contains, hidden within it, an opportunity- and it's up to you to find it!"
I liked the article very much. If you want to read it you can google it. That's how I found it. It's worth the read. I'm going to end right here on that note. It's a good one. See you tomorrow! ;-)
One very nice thing happened. The new boy who is my sons age joined our lunch hour. One of the girls inquired as to what was happening with my books. To make a long story short he and his mother work as 'event planners.' He is sure that he has connections that will help me market my book when it comes out and offered to do so. I'm so excited I could bust!
I had forgotten to eat breakfast so I had the snack, which was grapes at around 9am when I realized I was starving and why. At 11 am I had one of those weight watcher's chocolate one point cakes to off set my hunger. For lunch I had left over chicken and green beans- yes, I made enough for an army. I had no 3pm snack, but had wheat noodles n sauce for dinner.
After that I spoke to my young PA BFF via face book. We planned on talking as soon as I got in tonight. I've text her twice though and so I assume she forgot or some cute boy whisked her off somewhere or something along those lines. I'm a little disappointed but of course I totally understand. It's been awhile, but I sincerely remember being 25 once...I think...
I read an interesting article today that I wanted to share with you. Believe it or not it was posted on the 'California Psychics' website. In case I haven't mentioned it before I love the supernatural. Now make no mistake here, I believe in God. I do not practice evil or even think that way. I do like horoscope and fortune telling and things that cannot be explained away by typical explanation. Anyway: I found the article on there. It was titled: '6 Lessons From Failure, Embrace your mistakes' and it was written by Jill Hoppe. Jill says that "It wasn't a mistake- it was a lesson! Learn it well."
There were six parts to it. Lesson #1 was Acceptance. Basically, bad feelings following bad actions make things worse. Lesson #2 was Remember to laugh. That one is pretty self explanatory, if you laugh at yourself it helps your self esteem. Lesson #3 was Get Perspective. It was the longest part of the article. Basically to let yourself know that it's okay to mess up. Lesson #4 was to stay optimistic. Try to maintain a positive outlook. Lesson #5 was Find the silver lining. Look at the bright side. There is one if we look. Lesson #6 was to keep going. I am here to tell you that for me, that is the hardest one sometimes. When we want to crawl into bed and pull the covers over our head- that is exactly when we shouldn't. Jill finished the article saying: "Always remember that every problem contains, hidden within it, an opportunity- and it's up to you to find it!"
I liked the article very much. If you want to read it you can google it. That's how I found it. It's worth the read. I'm going to end right here on that note. It's a good one. See you tomorrow! ;-)
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
October 20, 2009 Diet Blog
It was a busy day at work once again. It seems to be a river of tears for the clients lately. It seems like sadness is running rampant around us more than it ever has. I find myself identifying with some of the clients and fighting back the urge to cry with them. Death can be so devastating. There's way too much of it these days. It seems to get that way around the holiday season, which is approaching with the discretion of a freight train. Sadness, and anger find their way into the court every day lately. It's a rough time for people to go through. It's exhausting for them and for us.
I came home tired. My back aches and I'm sore and fatigued. I bumbled into the kitchen to make dinner and my husband was making it already. I almost wonder what he did wrong because he's been so wonderful these days. I shouldn't wonder though. I've always known how much he loves me.
Breakfast was 2 pineapple spears, snack was grapes, lunch was left over skinless chicken, green beans and yogurt, snack was 6 silver dollar sized rice cakes. A tip about the rice cakes that my coworker asked me to mention here is that if you drink water with the rice cakes they seem to expand in your stomach creating a feeling of being full. It's a good trick of the trade- the diet trade that is. Dinner was steak, 3 pirogi, sauteed onions, green beans and a Mike's hard Light- lemon flavored. A banana served with lite n fit blueberry yogurt was our desert and then later we had skinny cow ice cream sandwiches. Yes- I feel like it was too much food but it was all healthy and he went out of his way to make sure of that. See- he's a keeper.
He sat down to study for a scuba test of some sort and I was left to my own devices. An old friend from my karate days phoned just to touch base. It was so good to hear from her. We talked about old times and laughed like fools over the antics of our days teaching karate to the 3-5 year old children's class.
After we hung up I felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness. I miss those days. That doesn't mean that I want to do that again, it was a grueling lifestyle to work in that world, but I miss who I was back then. I wish I was still that confident, sure black belt that was fit and trim and had the admiration of athletic types from every walk of life. I was pretty. I was helping people back then too- or at least I thought that I was. This feeling traveled into my heart and I began missing my son terribly. This 'getting old' thing has nothing going for it. I stayed stagnant in this 'place' until my best BFF called. We talked, laughed and made plans to go shopping at the outlets this weekend. I felt better.
My husband finished up and sat next to me on the sofa. He put the television on and fell fast asleep within minutes. I sat there thinking for awhile with the television in the background for company. I miss my old life because I was always around people; always listening, helping; being.... I liked being her. It was exciting, new and full of surprises. I need to figure out how to pull her out of myself and into this lifestyle. It's just such a lonely life now that my son is out and married; now that we're older; now that the people aren't here; too lonely.
It's 9:30 pm and I'm alone in this quiet house. The house makes noises. I think it's lonely too.
I'm going to have to think of a way to pull myself out of this emotional downward spiral the next time it occurs. Thankfully, I'm still way to full to put anymore food into my mouth. At least that's a good thing.
I'm going to go on face book now and see if I can find a little company, so I'll sign off for now. I want to shout our usual message at myself and anyone else who is feeling like nothing makes sense: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Try to stay positive. (I know its hard.) See you tomorrow. ;-)
I came home tired. My back aches and I'm sore and fatigued. I bumbled into the kitchen to make dinner and my husband was making it already. I almost wonder what he did wrong because he's been so wonderful these days. I shouldn't wonder though. I've always known how much he loves me.
Breakfast was 2 pineapple spears, snack was grapes, lunch was left over skinless chicken, green beans and yogurt, snack was 6 silver dollar sized rice cakes. A tip about the rice cakes that my coworker asked me to mention here is that if you drink water with the rice cakes they seem to expand in your stomach creating a feeling of being full. It's a good trick of the trade- the diet trade that is. Dinner was steak, 3 pirogi, sauteed onions, green beans and a Mike's hard Light- lemon flavored. A banana served with lite n fit blueberry yogurt was our desert and then later we had skinny cow ice cream sandwiches. Yes- I feel like it was too much food but it was all healthy and he went out of his way to make sure of that. See- he's a keeper.
He sat down to study for a scuba test of some sort and I was left to my own devices. An old friend from my karate days phoned just to touch base. It was so good to hear from her. We talked about old times and laughed like fools over the antics of our days teaching karate to the 3-5 year old children's class.
After we hung up I felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness. I miss those days. That doesn't mean that I want to do that again, it was a grueling lifestyle to work in that world, but I miss who I was back then. I wish I was still that confident, sure black belt that was fit and trim and had the admiration of athletic types from every walk of life. I was pretty. I was helping people back then too- or at least I thought that I was. This feeling traveled into my heart and I began missing my son terribly. This 'getting old' thing has nothing going for it. I stayed stagnant in this 'place' until my best BFF called. We talked, laughed and made plans to go shopping at the outlets this weekend. I felt better.
My husband finished up and sat next to me on the sofa. He put the television on and fell fast asleep within minutes. I sat there thinking for awhile with the television in the background for company. I miss my old life because I was always around people; always listening, helping; being.... I liked being her. It was exciting, new and full of surprises. I need to figure out how to pull her out of myself and into this lifestyle. It's just such a lonely life now that my son is out and married; now that we're older; now that the people aren't here; too lonely.
It's 9:30 pm and I'm alone in this quiet house. The house makes noises. I think it's lonely too.
I'm going to have to think of a way to pull myself out of this emotional downward spiral the next time it occurs. Thankfully, I'm still way to full to put anymore food into my mouth. At least that's a good thing.
I'm going to go on face book now and see if I can find a little company, so I'll sign off for now. I want to shout our usual message at myself and anyone else who is feeling like nothing makes sense: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Try to stay positive. (I know its hard.) See you tomorrow. ;-)
Monday, October 19, 2009
October 19, 2009 Diet Blog
It's Monday. My motto on face book, for the day was to kick Monday's butt. I'm happy to report that I've succeeded in that endeavor. This morning I made up the Blog advertisements to hang up around the college on the bulletin boards. They had information about the link at the bottom, cut so they were easily torn off in route to a class. I can't take credit for the 'how' part. I looked around at the bulletin boards and discovered that this was how it should be done. I also hung one up outside of the school newspaper office. I'm hoping that they will put it in the paper- but I'm not holding my breath.
I went to work and made copies of it to take to the college later on and then I started my day. It was a busy, whirlwind kind of day and I have to admit I was very glad to see it end. When I came home I went on to face book and then laid down for awhile. My back is still hurting. I have one spot that feels like its underneath my shoulder blade and is having a knife penetrating it deeply. I don't know what I did. I babied it all day.
I went and watched my husbands scuba class. He was teaching and I took pics on my phone and sent them out to various friends. Several answered. They seemed to enjoy the fact that I did that. I went to body conditioning class where I did the usual 40 minutes on the treadmill. I got my aerobic training paper back. I got an 'A.' My quiz was also an 'A.' I'm happy to report that my average right now is a whopping 103% because I also got the extra credit correct. I'm feeling kind of good about that.
I ran around hanging up the Blog advertisements in between the two things and I'm also feeling pretty good about that. I noticed as I ran around from bulletin board to bulletin board that there are a whole bunch of junk- containing vending machines there. I hadn't realized how many. There were a few good choices but mostly junk. The people from the college with weight troubles will need a battle plan for that. That's going to be tough to fight off, especially if they are in the habit of buying candy and eating it as a meal on the run. I'm guilty of that myself in the past. They can still use the machine but they'll have to switch to granola or pretzels or something less damaging, and have water or diet drinks as a beverage. Where there is a will, there is a way.
I'm going to sign off and head for a hot shower to ease my tense shoulders and back. I'm not sure why but they are tightening up even as I write. I'll just remind you (and myself as I do each day) that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! See you tomorrow! ;-)
I went to work and made copies of it to take to the college later on and then I started my day. It was a busy, whirlwind kind of day and I have to admit I was very glad to see it end. When I came home I went on to face book and then laid down for awhile. My back is still hurting. I have one spot that feels like its underneath my shoulder blade and is having a knife penetrating it deeply. I don't know what I did. I babied it all day.
I went and watched my husbands scuba class. He was teaching and I took pics on my phone and sent them out to various friends. Several answered. They seemed to enjoy the fact that I did that. I went to body conditioning class where I did the usual 40 minutes on the treadmill. I got my aerobic training paper back. I got an 'A.' My quiz was also an 'A.' I'm happy to report that my average right now is a whopping 103% because I also got the extra credit correct. I'm feeling kind of good about that.
I ran around hanging up the Blog advertisements in between the two things and I'm also feeling pretty good about that. I noticed as I ran around from bulletin board to bulletin board that there are a whole bunch of junk- containing vending machines there. I hadn't realized how many. There were a few good choices but mostly junk. The people from the college with weight troubles will need a battle plan for that. That's going to be tough to fight off, especially if they are in the habit of buying candy and eating it as a meal on the run. I'm guilty of that myself in the past. They can still use the machine but they'll have to switch to granola or pretzels or something less damaging, and have water or diet drinks as a beverage. Where there is a will, there is a way.
I'm going to sign off and head for a hot shower to ease my tense shoulders and back. I'm not sure why but they are tightening up even as I write. I'll just remind you (and myself as I do each day) that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! See you tomorrow! ;-)
Sunday, October 18, 2009
October 18, 2009 Diet Blog
It was another wet, rainy, raw day outside. My husband and I slept in late again. It was too nice and cozy underneath that quilt to get up early anyway. I grabbed a hot shower first thing and my sweet husband surprised me by cooking breakfast. He made whole wheat pancakes with sugar free syrup and fresh home brewed dunkin donuts coffee. It was just lovely.
For dinner I roasted chicken thighs and served them with green beans for myself and mashed potatoes and green beans for my husband. For dessert we had a cup of chocolate diet jello pudding. My husband had his with whip cream. I don't care for whip cream so I had mine plain. It was delicious. I drank a Mike's Hard Lemonade Light with my dinner, my hubby had a beer with his. That was my entire food intake for the day. Hubby had several snacks.
It was another day of reflection for me as I made my way through laundry and light housekeeping. I've strained my back somehow and it has moved into my shoulders. It's been quite annoying all day. My mind wandered back and forth through the stages of grieving and the emotions that accompany that. The more I think about it, the more the theory fits. I can't wait to hear your 'take' on the subject...and perhaps a theory or two on how to use this new- found knowledge.
I've come to the conclusion that the theory about emotions being the reason behind a lot of MY food intake problem is very real. The food itself is a symptom; a comfort; used to alleviate thoughts and think of something else temporarily; a defense against my mind being completely overwhelmed at the moment...but eventually it comes anyway, and I've compounded whatever negative emotion that's taking me over with more negativity because of my weight issue. It's a vicious circle.
I've spoken to several people briefly about it and it seems like I'm definitely not alone in this boat. The secret of permanent weight loss lies within the realm of healthy ability to handle, deal with, cope with, and live with these emotions. The negative ones in particular.
I've also been thinking about how to get the Blog "out there" for more people to gain access to the information. I've written the letters and e-mails as I've mentioned but another idea came to me today. I'm going to put notices up on the bulletin boards at the college. If it works that would be awesome. The college is BIG and I have to start somewhere. People of every age group and from every walk of life go there. It may work. I'm going to think about it a little more and figure out the best plan of action and give it a try. I've nothing to lose (but weight) and everything to gain (except weight) if it works.
I'll end on that note reminding us all that we look as good as we can for today. Tomorrow we will look that much better. Do not let perceptions of our body stand in the way of us having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow. ;-)
For dinner I roasted chicken thighs and served them with green beans for myself and mashed potatoes and green beans for my husband. For dessert we had a cup of chocolate diet jello pudding. My husband had his with whip cream. I don't care for whip cream so I had mine plain. It was delicious. I drank a Mike's Hard Lemonade Light with my dinner, my hubby had a beer with his. That was my entire food intake for the day. Hubby had several snacks.
It was another day of reflection for me as I made my way through laundry and light housekeeping. I've strained my back somehow and it has moved into my shoulders. It's been quite annoying all day. My mind wandered back and forth through the stages of grieving and the emotions that accompany that. The more I think about it, the more the theory fits. I can't wait to hear your 'take' on the subject...and perhaps a theory or two on how to use this new- found knowledge.
I've come to the conclusion that the theory about emotions being the reason behind a lot of MY food intake problem is very real. The food itself is a symptom; a comfort; used to alleviate thoughts and think of something else temporarily; a defense against my mind being completely overwhelmed at the moment...but eventually it comes anyway, and I've compounded whatever negative emotion that's taking me over with more negativity because of my weight issue. It's a vicious circle.
I've spoken to several people briefly about it and it seems like I'm definitely not alone in this boat. The secret of permanent weight loss lies within the realm of healthy ability to handle, deal with, cope with, and live with these emotions. The negative ones in particular.
I've also been thinking about how to get the Blog "out there" for more people to gain access to the information. I've written the letters and e-mails as I've mentioned but another idea came to me today. I'm going to put notices up on the bulletin boards at the college. If it works that would be awesome. The college is BIG and I have to start somewhere. People of every age group and from every walk of life go there. It may work. I'm going to think about it a little more and figure out the best plan of action and give it a try. I've nothing to lose (but weight) and everything to gain (except weight) if it works.
I'll end on that note reminding us all that we look as good as we can for today. Tomorrow we will look that much better. Do not let perceptions of our body stand in the way of us having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow. ;-)
October 17, 2009 Diet Blog
It was a long, quiet lazy day. It was rainy, cold and the air was raw. My husband and I slept in. The day itself gave me time for thought and profound reflection about the circumstances of my life from the past, present and to dream about my future. The future by far was the easiest part. I am a dreamer, a romantic, I crave new experiences, laughter and fun...
I thought about the last blog and how emotion effects me on so many different levels. I really don't think I'm alone in the element of emotion affecting my diet and eating habits, especially if they are negative emotions.
I remember when my daughter passed away and when our 3rd child was still born. There were said to be 'stages of grieving.' I didn't remember exactly what they were or how many so I looked it up and this seemed to be the closest to my memory of how it went for me. (There are other versions with different numbers and explanations. This one fits me though.) According to what I read there are seven stages of grieving. They are: 1- shock and denial, 2-pain and guilt (I would add agony and suffering here), 3-anger and bargaining, 4-depression, reflection and loneliness (I had loneliness throughout all of the stages however, I still have it...), 5-adjusting (in my opinion this one is still occurring even after 20 years for me), 6- reconstruction of normalcy and working through it, 7- Acceptance and hope. (Like I said, dreaming of a brighter future is my strong point.)
I bring them up- not to discuss the death of my little girl or the still birth of my son though that's why I have the information, but to mention the emotions entangled with those stages. After I thought about it for awhile I realized that these are not just stages of grieving death. In fact they are stages of grieving...period. Whether we lost a job, divided a friendship, took a beating at work, failed a test in school or had a bad day these emotions are what go through us on some level.
When I began thinking about what I go through beating myself up over my weight I realized that these stages fit that as well. It was an amazing revelation for me. In some way it is part of 'breaking the code' as Kirsty Alley so aptly put it that time she was talking on Oprah.
I also thought about what motivates me. What things make me happy? Obviously happy is something that works in my favor when dieting and in general. I'm not alone there either, am I? The things that I adore happening in my life are new encounters, passionate conversations, talking and being actually listened to, listening to others, playful banter, new ideas... you know, that type of thing. I not only seek it, I crave it. I think that it's part of being a writer of course, but again in every other aspect of my life on some level I want these things. Again, I think this is also some part of breaking the mysterious code.
I don't believe that dieting is solely about what we put in our mouths- although that is part of it, but I think the food is just a symptom of something else...something bigger; deeper...an emotion overload of some sort... a defense mechanism... do you understand what I mean? Do you have any ideas or thoughts on that? Agree or disagree? Please post it in comments. I'd love to talk about that a little. I think we're on to something here.
Let's get to the bottom of it.
So, on more of a true life note, no one claimed the 'i miss you' balloon or the 'i miss you heart in the sand.' Really- it's making me crazy! Real? Mistake? What?
I was talking to my Blairstown BFF and we think we may know who did it. We are not sure so we will have to wait it out, but we have a reason for thinking along these lines. The 'why' part has to do with Halloween. I go around playing innocent, gentle pranks on my friends. I've done this for years and roped Blairstown BFF into it on more than one occasion. For example: I've webbed front doors closed, hung a morgue sign on a Friend's business door, put snakes spiders and bugs in drawers, a 7 ft Frankenstein in a friends shower, fake footprints walking over all of the cars in a friends driveway, put for sale signs up, sent cards annonymously with stuff inside like confetti, boxes with snakes that jump out ...the list is endless...
We think someone might be doing that to me. We think we might have an idea of who. We think we approached it all wrong. It's the perfect prank and I truly had no idea who it could be because I am the master mind behind teasing so very many. Blairstown BFF thought of it. It could be. It makes sense... I'll keep you up to date as I go along. I think this could be it though.
I'll sign off on that note knowing I've left a smile on the face of someone out there. Watch over your shoulder...I'm comin'. ;-0
Remember that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body get in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you in the next Blog! ;-)
I thought about the last blog and how emotion effects me on so many different levels. I really don't think I'm alone in the element of emotion affecting my diet and eating habits, especially if they are negative emotions.
I remember when my daughter passed away and when our 3rd child was still born. There were said to be 'stages of grieving.' I didn't remember exactly what they were or how many so I looked it up and this seemed to be the closest to my memory of how it went for me. (There are other versions with different numbers and explanations. This one fits me though.) According to what I read there are seven stages of grieving. They are: 1- shock and denial, 2-pain and guilt (I would add agony and suffering here), 3-anger and bargaining, 4-depression, reflection and loneliness (I had loneliness throughout all of the stages however, I still have it...), 5-adjusting (in my opinion this one is still occurring even after 20 years for me), 6- reconstruction of normalcy and working through it, 7- Acceptance and hope. (Like I said, dreaming of a brighter future is my strong point.)
I bring them up- not to discuss the death of my little girl or the still birth of my son though that's why I have the information, but to mention the emotions entangled with those stages. After I thought about it for awhile I realized that these are not just stages of grieving death. In fact they are stages of grieving...period. Whether we lost a job, divided a friendship, took a beating at work, failed a test in school or had a bad day these emotions are what go through us on some level.
When I began thinking about what I go through beating myself up over my weight I realized that these stages fit that as well. It was an amazing revelation for me. In some way it is part of 'breaking the code' as Kirsty Alley so aptly put it that time she was talking on Oprah.
I also thought about what motivates me. What things make me happy? Obviously happy is something that works in my favor when dieting and in general. I'm not alone there either, am I? The things that I adore happening in my life are new encounters, passionate conversations, talking and being actually listened to, listening to others, playful banter, new ideas... you know, that type of thing. I not only seek it, I crave it. I think that it's part of being a writer of course, but again in every other aspect of my life on some level I want these things. Again, I think this is also some part of breaking the mysterious code.
I don't believe that dieting is solely about what we put in our mouths- although that is part of it, but I think the food is just a symptom of something else...something bigger; deeper...an emotion overload of some sort... a defense mechanism... do you understand what I mean? Do you have any ideas or thoughts on that? Agree or disagree? Please post it in comments. I'd love to talk about that a little. I think we're on to something here.
Let's get to the bottom of it.
So, on more of a true life note, no one claimed the 'i miss you' balloon or the 'i miss you heart in the sand.' Really- it's making me crazy! Real? Mistake? What?
I was talking to my Blairstown BFF and we think we may know who did it. We are not sure so we will have to wait it out, but we have a reason for thinking along these lines. The 'why' part has to do with Halloween. I go around playing innocent, gentle pranks on my friends. I've done this for years and roped Blairstown BFF into it on more than one occasion. For example: I've webbed front doors closed, hung a morgue sign on a Friend's business door, put snakes spiders and bugs in drawers, a 7 ft Frankenstein in a friends shower, fake footprints walking over all of the cars in a friends driveway, put for sale signs up, sent cards annonymously with stuff inside like confetti, boxes with snakes that jump out ...the list is endless...
We think someone might be doing that to me. We think we might have an idea of who. We think we approached it all wrong. It's the perfect prank and I truly had no idea who it could be because I am the master mind behind teasing so very many. Blairstown BFF thought of it. It could be. It makes sense... I'll keep you up to date as I go along. I think this could be it though.
I'll sign off on that note knowing I've left a smile on the face of someone out there. Watch over your shoulder...I'm comin'. ;-0
Remember that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body get in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you in the next Blog! ;-)
Saturday, October 17, 2009
October 16, 2009 Diet Blog
Another busy day. My coworker and I were overwhelmed but I'm glad she was with me. It always gets crazy around the holiday season at our job. It never seemed to stop this year though. There is way too much sadness in the world. I hope to ease part of that when my book comes out. Wish me luck.
I ate well today. I had water melon for breakfast, grapes for snack, Smart Ones for lunch with carrot sticks, no 3pm snack because I knew that I was having real pizza for dinner with my Blairtown BFF before we went over to redo her karaoke video for the Oprah contest. I had two slices. I chose the smallest and we were on our way. I had two glasses of wine and a bottled water throughout the entire evening. I feel like I did alright. I was also very active throughout the night.
Karaoke Buddy's girlfriend is back from Florida. She is here indefinitely because she may need to return to her daughter. It was so good to see her. They seemed so happy. He was dressed better. She is a huge influence on that. She says that the house was a pig-sty when she returned. She scrubbed it from stem to stern and it took the entire first full day home. She's been here since Monday. She wanted to surprise me. She did. No one gave it away.
Blairstown BFF did her video but we still liked the ones I took better. The new ones that is. It was well lit this time. I helped her write the essay that has to go along with it this morning and she'll be sending it in to the Oprah contest today or tonight sometime. The dead line is tomorrow. I'm kind if excited for her. I directed, wrote and 'produced' for lack of different terminology. She sang and wore what I told her to. She did great. We were quite a team. If she wins it'll feel like its partially mine, although I will be a silent partner. I'm just so proud of her. For me that type of thing doesn't come naturally. I do it- they laugh and they love me but I'm totally acting. My power is in my pen...or my keyboard. I know it. For her its natural to be on stage I think. She just loves to sing in front of people. She's been doing it since she was a little girl. Wish her luck too.
I did have one hard moment. Remember XBFF? I mentioned them a few times. X was actually there when we arrived. We went early because of the video and actually beat karaoke buddy there. It was immediatly uncomfortable but I couldn't go, not this time. I shook it off. Luckily x sat across the room and didn't even try to venture over. I kept my back towards that side of the room. X waved at Blairstown and she waved back. They've only met a few times so it was odd that X did that. Blairstown let me know because she felt a sense of disloyalty at waving back but I shooed it away. X doesn't have that much clout in my life for it to matter.
I thought about it later and realized that the profound thought in the sentence I just wrote is the attitude I need to take more often. I wrote about this because that realization is a bombshell for me. Little things like that tend to frazzle me, or at least they did up until the realization occurred in my mind. I use food to comfort that emotion usually.
It's funny.... The outcome was that karaoke buddy and his girlfriend came in just minutes later. The surprise was awesome and I forgot that X was even there for awhile. X came over to say goodnight to karaoke buddy's girlfriend, who is not real impressed with them anyway but accepted the hug. X threatened to come back later. I battle plan strategised in my head to leave gracefully and how I would do it if that happened so as no one, including X would know why I was going. It didn't happen. Of course it didn't. I think that comment was for me. X obviously got that avoiding them is my goal. That's X's way though. X lies. Rather than request a talk or be kind or anything along those lines, X takes the low road. That's what X does.
If I were to place a bet and I wanted to win, I'd say that X more than likely knew when the conversation occurred that coming back was not part of the plan. It didn't matter either way though. I had a plan.
Little things need to be seen as exactly that. Little things to be dealt with quickly and then let slide off my shoulder. It's a break through for me. I feel good.
On that note I will sign off reminding us all that we look as good as we can for today. Tomorrow we will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive...and if an outside influence is negative, let it go. It's not worth your time! Have a great day! See you tomorrow! ;-)
I ate well today. I had water melon for breakfast, grapes for snack, Smart Ones for lunch with carrot sticks, no 3pm snack because I knew that I was having real pizza for dinner with my Blairtown BFF before we went over to redo her karaoke video for the Oprah contest. I had two slices. I chose the smallest and we were on our way. I had two glasses of wine and a bottled water throughout the entire evening. I feel like I did alright. I was also very active throughout the night.
Karaoke Buddy's girlfriend is back from Florida. She is here indefinitely because she may need to return to her daughter. It was so good to see her. They seemed so happy. He was dressed better. She is a huge influence on that. She says that the house was a pig-sty when she returned. She scrubbed it from stem to stern and it took the entire first full day home. She's been here since Monday. She wanted to surprise me. She did. No one gave it away.
Blairstown BFF did her video but we still liked the ones I took better. The new ones that is. It was well lit this time. I helped her write the essay that has to go along with it this morning and she'll be sending it in to the Oprah contest today or tonight sometime. The dead line is tomorrow. I'm kind if excited for her. I directed, wrote and 'produced' for lack of different terminology. She sang and wore what I told her to. She did great. We were quite a team. If she wins it'll feel like its partially mine, although I will be a silent partner. I'm just so proud of her. For me that type of thing doesn't come naturally. I do it- they laugh and they love me but I'm totally acting. My power is in my pen...or my keyboard. I know it. For her its natural to be on stage I think. She just loves to sing in front of people. She's been doing it since she was a little girl. Wish her luck too.
I did have one hard moment. Remember XBFF? I mentioned them a few times. X was actually there when we arrived. We went early because of the video and actually beat karaoke buddy there. It was immediatly uncomfortable but I couldn't go, not this time. I shook it off. Luckily x sat across the room and didn't even try to venture over. I kept my back towards that side of the room. X waved at Blairstown and she waved back. They've only met a few times so it was odd that X did that. Blairstown let me know because she felt a sense of disloyalty at waving back but I shooed it away. X doesn't have that much clout in my life for it to matter.
I thought about it later and realized that the profound thought in the sentence I just wrote is the attitude I need to take more often. I wrote about this because that realization is a bombshell for me. Little things like that tend to frazzle me, or at least they did up until the realization occurred in my mind. I use food to comfort that emotion usually.
It's funny.... The outcome was that karaoke buddy and his girlfriend came in just minutes later. The surprise was awesome and I forgot that X was even there for awhile. X came over to say goodnight to karaoke buddy's girlfriend, who is not real impressed with them anyway but accepted the hug. X threatened to come back later. I battle plan strategised in my head to leave gracefully and how I would do it if that happened so as no one, including X would know why I was going. It didn't happen. Of course it didn't. I think that comment was for me. X obviously got that avoiding them is my goal. That's X's way though. X lies. Rather than request a talk or be kind or anything along those lines, X takes the low road. That's what X does.
If I were to place a bet and I wanted to win, I'd say that X more than likely knew when the conversation occurred that coming back was not part of the plan. It didn't matter either way though. I had a plan.
Little things need to be seen as exactly that. Little things to be dealt with quickly and then let slide off my shoulder. It's a break through for me. I feel good.
On that note I will sign off reminding us all that we look as good as we can for today. Tomorrow we will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive...and if an outside influence is negative, let it go. It's not worth your time! Have a great day! See you tomorrow! ;-)
Thursday, October 15, 2009
October 15,2009 Diet Blog
It was an overwhelmingly busy day. The co-worker that sits next to me was out and the girls that cover us are...well one was promoted and the other just had a baby. The only one left was extremely busy herself and I couldn't reach her at the peak of it. My supervisor 'corrected' me over the fact that the desk was too busy to only be manned by one person with that 'look' that she gets until I explained. She quickly recovered the 'look' and an understanding one filled it's wake.... She jumped in to help. It was good working with her. She is a very impressive woman and I actually admire her.
I got snipped at because we were so busy that the phone calls that I took messages for the other girls to return did not get returned and a lawyer got fresh to the girl covering my co-worker over the prices of things... and finally, when she'd had quite enough, she told him to go call his congressman and complain and to feel free to use her name! I thought I was going to wet my pants! It was a great statement! He literally dropped his jaw and it stopped him cold. I mean...really...do people actually think that the reception desk at the courthouse sets the darn prices? Are they crazy? He shut his trap, apologised and left with his tail between his legs. We shared a good laugh over it. It was great.
I did well on my diet. I'm very pleased with myself. I had watermelon for breakfast, grapes for snack, Smart Ones for lunch with carrot sticks, 6 silver dollar sized rice cakes for snack and the left over wheat noodles in sauce for dinner.
My husbands scuba class was cancelled by the school. He is not sure why, but we are spending a nice quiet evening together. I had picked up two magazines to read because the titles of some of the articles caught my eye in the store. If they are any good I will share them with you. I would've read them tonight while he was out teaching scuba but since that original plan has changed, the magazines will have to wait. Time with him comes first.
Again, no one stepped up to claim the mysterious 'I miss u' with the heart -carved into the sandy beach and sent to me anonymously. I went to look for it today and its gone...just disappeared all together. It's unnerving! I'd sure love to know who misses me so much that they are going to these lengths to prove it. Or are they two completely separate and coincidental things that were mistakes and not meant for me at all? See what I mean? My head is going to explode!
I'll end on that note so that I can get back to enjoying time with my husband. Remember: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! See you tomorrow. ;-)
PS: Pvt to my new friend... the comment didn't make it on. I'm sorry that I didn't get the chance to read it. Thank you for what you said to me in person the other day and thank you for seeking me out to say it. You have NO IDEA what that meant to me. See you soon.
I got snipped at because we were so busy that the phone calls that I took messages for the other girls to return did not get returned and a lawyer got fresh to the girl covering my co-worker over the prices of things... and finally, when she'd had quite enough, she told him to go call his congressman and complain and to feel free to use her name! I thought I was going to wet my pants! It was a great statement! He literally dropped his jaw and it stopped him cold. I mean...really...do people actually think that the reception desk at the courthouse sets the darn prices? Are they crazy? He shut his trap, apologised and left with his tail between his legs. We shared a good laugh over it. It was great.
I did well on my diet. I'm very pleased with myself. I had watermelon for breakfast, grapes for snack, Smart Ones for lunch with carrot sticks, 6 silver dollar sized rice cakes for snack and the left over wheat noodles in sauce for dinner.
My husbands scuba class was cancelled by the school. He is not sure why, but we are spending a nice quiet evening together. I had picked up two magazines to read because the titles of some of the articles caught my eye in the store. If they are any good I will share them with you. I would've read them tonight while he was out teaching scuba but since that original plan has changed, the magazines will have to wait. Time with him comes first.
Again, no one stepped up to claim the mysterious 'I miss u' with the heart -carved into the sandy beach and sent to me anonymously. I went to look for it today and its gone...just disappeared all together. It's unnerving! I'd sure love to know who misses me so much that they are going to these lengths to prove it. Or are they two completely separate and coincidental things that were mistakes and not meant for me at all? See what I mean? My head is going to explode!
I'll end on that note so that I can get back to enjoying time with my husband. Remember: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! See you tomorrow. ;-)
PS: Pvt to my new friend... the comment didn't make it on. I'm sorry that I didn't get the chance to read it. Thank you for what you said to me in person the other day and thank you for seeking me out to say it. You have NO IDEA what that meant to me. See you soon.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
October 14, 2009 Diet Blog
It was a busy, frazzling 'glitch' day. It wasn't a bad day and it wasn't an especially good day. It was just that kind of day where nothing went off easily from second one.
My diet went smoothly thankfully. I had watermelon for breakfast, grapes for snack, smart ones yogurt and carrot sticks for lunch, 6 silver dollar sized rice cakes for snack, lean steak and one ear of corn on the cob for dinner.
I went to body conditioning class and did 40 minutes on the tread mil. It was good and I'm glad I did it but truthfully I'm so tired that I can barely keep my eyes open. I've been that way all day and have a back/neck ache as well. The weather is getting colder. I wonder if that is why.
Dieting seems harder today too, although I got through it fine. It's just been an 'off' day.
Karaoke Buddy contacted me. He wants to re-video Blairstown BFF for the contest with a real video camera and not just my little Olympus. He wants us to come on Friday. I will have to change my plans again. There's nothing I can do. I want her to win because singing is her passion. It is odd that he wants to join us after we got so mad at him though. Men....
Okay- so I have another story for you. You're probably thinking: Gees! But here goes... You remember that balloon that was tied to my car a few blogs ago don't you? Well, if not to recap briefly, it was tied to my car door handle after work one day. It was a heart shaped balloon and said 'I miss you' on it. No one ever came forward to say that they sent it. I assumed that maybe it was left there by mistake.
Tonight I went onto face book and the 'notifications' read that someone had sent me an 'I miss you.' I opened it. It was the words 'I miss you' written in the sand of a beautiful beach. I nearly fell off my chair. The corker? It does not say who sent it. No where- and believe me I looked. My question is: Does that mean that it was sent by someone I'm not friends with on face book? Or by someone on my friends list? I'm absolutely floored! Is this part of that 'instant karma' we've been tossing the bull about? Let me just say, I sure hope so! If you knew me well though, you'd know that this is making me crazy, but that I just love it at the same time. BUT WHO SENT IT?! ;-0
So I'm heading off to the shower with that on my mind. Was the balloon meant for me after all and if so, why didn't the person that sent it step up and say so? The not knowing is okay, in fact its pretty cool in a way, but really, I've gotta know... That's me, for better or worse! I'm heading for the hot shower. See you tomorrow! ;-)
My diet went smoothly thankfully. I had watermelon for breakfast, grapes for snack, smart ones yogurt and carrot sticks for lunch, 6 silver dollar sized rice cakes for snack, lean steak and one ear of corn on the cob for dinner.
I went to body conditioning class and did 40 minutes on the tread mil. It was good and I'm glad I did it but truthfully I'm so tired that I can barely keep my eyes open. I've been that way all day and have a back/neck ache as well. The weather is getting colder. I wonder if that is why.
Dieting seems harder today too, although I got through it fine. It's just been an 'off' day.
Karaoke Buddy contacted me. He wants to re-video Blairstown BFF for the contest with a real video camera and not just my little Olympus. He wants us to come on Friday. I will have to change my plans again. There's nothing I can do. I want her to win because singing is her passion. It is odd that he wants to join us after we got so mad at him though. Men....
Okay- so I have another story for you. You're probably thinking: Gees! But here goes... You remember that balloon that was tied to my car a few blogs ago don't you? Well, if not to recap briefly, it was tied to my car door handle after work one day. It was a heart shaped balloon and said 'I miss you' on it. No one ever came forward to say that they sent it. I assumed that maybe it was left there by mistake.
Tonight I went onto face book and the 'notifications' read that someone had sent me an 'I miss you.' I opened it. It was the words 'I miss you' written in the sand of a beautiful beach. I nearly fell off my chair. The corker? It does not say who sent it. No where- and believe me I looked. My question is: Does that mean that it was sent by someone I'm not friends with on face book? Or by someone on my friends list? I'm absolutely floored! Is this part of that 'instant karma' we've been tossing the bull about? Let me just say, I sure hope so! If you knew me well though, you'd know that this is making me crazy, but that I just love it at the same time. BUT WHO SENT IT?! ;-0
So I'm heading off to the shower with that on my mind. Was the balloon meant for me after all and if so, why didn't the person that sent it step up and say so? The not knowing is okay, in fact its pretty cool in a way, but really, I've gotta know... That's me, for better or worse! I'm heading for the hot shower. See you tomorrow! ;-)
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
October 13, 2009 Diet Blog
Wow! 13! This is Halloween month. I wonder if there is any significance to it. Legend has it that the number 13 is an unlucky one. I feel like I've proven that theory wrong today. I feel like 'good karma' is coming at me from every angle. I like the feeling.
For example, I entertained the idea of giving up on this blog. I got word from the local paper that they do not advertise 'blogs.' I found that odd since the check was enclosed. In this economy I'm amazed that money would be turned away for an advertisement about a free diet blog for friends who are struggling with weight and money. But they apparently frown upon that. So they will be sending me back my advertisement and my check the nice woman said. I was also very polite though a little dumbfounded. Anyway, I thought about just forgetting about the blog. I told no one. I was mulling it over.
Later one of the girls from the office across the street popped into my office at work to say hello. I have mentioned her before and I had said that we were becoming friends. We crossed the line today. She told me first that my blog was really helping her 'get past things' in a better fashion. Her words were a little different but I understood. We then had a lengthy conversation where we really opened up our lives and our hearts and let each other in. The goal of this blog was to reach out and help people. I've succeeded. I won't be shutting down needless to say. It was that 'good karma' I was talking about. I thank the Lord for her. I don't know how she'll feel about this but I feel that he spoke to me through her today. I'm so grateful on several different levels.
I had a nice chat with karaoke buddy too. I'm going to video him singing a love song to his sweetheart and send it to her via face book because she has to be away for awhile. How romantic is that? He really misses her. I liked the avenue our conversation went down, especially after the issue the other night. He said he was sorry for that. I accepted that.
There's nothing else he can do. I choose to forgive it as a minor error in judgement that won't ever happen again and move past it. You can't ask anything else of a person if they apologise in a genuine fashion. They can't undo the mistake, but they can make sure its not repeated. So 'good karma' again. It feels good to be there.
Its been that kind of a day. I ate well too. I had watermelon for breakfast, grapes for snack, smart ones and yogurt for lunch, carrots for snack and wheat noodles in sauce for dinner. We has skinny cow ice cream for desert too. It was delicious. (2 points for anyone on that diet.) My back hurts pretty bad from yesterday but I'm glad I did all of that. I feel like I accomplished so much...and I did. Its been a real good day.
Let me sign off here reminding you that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow. ;-)
For example, I entertained the idea of giving up on this blog. I got word from the local paper that they do not advertise 'blogs.' I found that odd since the check was enclosed. In this economy I'm amazed that money would be turned away for an advertisement about a free diet blog for friends who are struggling with weight and money. But they apparently frown upon that. So they will be sending me back my advertisement and my check the nice woman said. I was also very polite though a little dumbfounded. Anyway, I thought about just forgetting about the blog. I told no one. I was mulling it over.
Later one of the girls from the office across the street popped into my office at work to say hello. I have mentioned her before and I had said that we were becoming friends. We crossed the line today. She told me first that my blog was really helping her 'get past things' in a better fashion. Her words were a little different but I understood. We then had a lengthy conversation where we really opened up our lives and our hearts and let each other in. The goal of this blog was to reach out and help people. I've succeeded. I won't be shutting down needless to say. It was that 'good karma' I was talking about. I thank the Lord for her. I don't know how she'll feel about this but I feel that he spoke to me through her today. I'm so grateful on several different levels.
I had a nice chat with karaoke buddy too. I'm going to video him singing a love song to his sweetheart and send it to her via face book because she has to be away for awhile. How romantic is that? He really misses her. I liked the avenue our conversation went down, especially after the issue the other night. He said he was sorry for that. I accepted that.
There's nothing else he can do. I choose to forgive it as a minor error in judgement that won't ever happen again and move past it. You can't ask anything else of a person if they apologise in a genuine fashion. They can't undo the mistake, but they can make sure its not repeated. So 'good karma' again. It feels good to be there.
Its been that kind of a day. I ate well too. I had watermelon for breakfast, grapes for snack, smart ones and yogurt for lunch, carrots for snack and wheat noodles in sauce for dinner. We has skinny cow ice cream for desert too. It was delicious. (2 points for anyone on that diet.) My back hurts pretty bad from yesterday but I'm glad I did all of that. I feel like I accomplished so much...and I did. Its been a real good day.
Let me sign off here reminding you that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow. ;-)
Monday, October 12, 2009
October 12, 2009 Diet Blog
It's going to be a quick one because I'm exhausted and suffering from fatigue and a back ache. I cleaned some of the things out of my sons room today. My husband has been after me to do it. I just didn't want to. He pulled down all of my sons posters a few weeks ago without telling me first and sent me right into a tailspin. I spiraled right into a river of tears. He doesn't understand. I can't blame him. I don't really understand it myself.
I switched our summer and winter clothes around too, utilizing the new found space in my sons drawers and closet. I did every last stitch of laundry and put it away. That's two flights per load, just so you get the back ache thing. I went grocery shopping, made an appointment, posted all of my Blairstown BFF's videos, which amounted to ten of hers and two of karaoke buddy that also got posted, and basically worked from the minute I got up until my husband came home. I then made dinner, got ready and went to body conditioning class and now I'm blogging. After this a hot shower and cozy quilt are in order.
I ate very little today. I'm just so ... emotion stricken for some unknown reason. I guess I'm just feeling 'cast aside' by everyone. I don't like being lonely. I'm lonely all of the time. It's no excuse but honestly, I think that's when I do the most damage to myself diet wise and mentally. I'm one of those who 'beats the hell out of myself' mentally and emotionally speaking. It's something I'd like to change, but one thing at a time. Right now I'm teaching the world at hand that I'm not a door mat. People mistake me for one because I let them. I've begun to change that. It's a hard thing to do. Confidence and weight loss go hand in hand as a general rule. I'm hoping both will kick in soon.
I'm going to sign off now and head for the shower. Remember to look at yourself and say or think something positive...something nice. If no one else does or will, you always have you. We tend to forget that. See you next blog. ;-)
I switched our summer and winter clothes around too, utilizing the new found space in my sons drawers and closet. I did every last stitch of laundry and put it away. That's two flights per load, just so you get the back ache thing. I went grocery shopping, made an appointment, posted all of my Blairstown BFF's videos, which amounted to ten of hers and two of karaoke buddy that also got posted, and basically worked from the minute I got up until my husband came home. I then made dinner, got ready and went to body conditioning class and now I'm blogging. After this a hot shower and cozy quilt are in order.
I ate very little today. I'm just so ... emotion stricken for some unknown reason. I guess I'm just feeling 'cast aside' by everyone. I don't like being lonely. I'm lonely all of the time. It's no excuse but honestly, I think that's when I do the most damage to myself diet wise and mentally. I'm one of those who 'beats the hell out of myself' mentally and emotionally speaking. It's something I'd like to change, but one thing at a time. Right now I'm teaching the world at hand that I'm not a door mat. People mistake me for one because I let them. I've begun to change that. It's a hard thing to do. Confidence and weight loss go hand in hand as a general rule. I'm hoping both will kick in soon.
I'm going to sign off now and head for the shower. Remember to look at yourself and say or think something positive...something nice. If no one else does or will, you always have you. We tend to forget that. See you next blog. ;-)
October 11, 2009 Diet Blog
So Sunday was a whirlwind kind of a day. I slept in a bit, had a lite n fit yogurt for breakfast a ham n cheese omelet with wheat toast at the diner for lunch, which I didn't finish, and my husband barbecued steak and we had potato salad bought at the store for dinner. The steak was spicy. He made it different from the norm and the potato salad was disgusting! It tasted like vinegar. I ate a few bites, but yuck!
My Best BFF and I shopped at the malls all day. We exchanged stories and laughter throughout the entire afternoon. I always feel better when I hang out with her. I didn't buy anything. I just enjoyed her company. I am so very lonely these days with my husband away every weekend and our son married and gone. For me its a very hard life even though everyone says it should be so much easier now. I was defined by being a mom, child first and foremost and a wife for the last 25 years. It was gone in an instant and I had no time to prepare.
My son had said that he was coming home for a year after college to work and save money. He didn't do that. He proposed to his wife and they moved in together before he even graduated. I understood of course, and would not change it for anything. She's an absolute doll and perfect for him, but when I speak like this they get upset. It's NOT that I don't approve of them. I absolutely DO. She's perfect for him. I wouldn't deny him the kind of happiness he sees with his father and I. This one time, it's about me, which is an odd concept for even me to accept because I'm not that person ...ever. But I'm here to tell you that the 'empty nest' myth is so true.
' ...my hands, once busy, now are still. My days are long and hard to fill. I wish I could go back and do...the little things you asked me to...'
Thankfully I did do the things with him that he asked of me and then some. I have no regrets there. He's literally the son every mother dreams of having in every way. If he wasn't, maybe I wouldn't miss him so damn much. My mother doesn't miss me like that. We never had the relationship that I have with my son and I'm positive she would not say that I'm the daughter of her dreams. We're too different; there's too much baggage that goes with being her child. I miss her sometimes; I think she loves me as much as she is capable of loving someone that is her direct opposite, but not like I miss him; not like I love him.
Dinner was nice. Hubby cooked and cleaned while his diving buddy showed me videos of what was under the water. My husband made it into many of them. He loves diving. I couldn't see his face but I could still see his happiness. We joke that he was a cat in a past life and died in heat because cats everywhere are attracted to him. So much so that it's unreal! But now I'm thinking that maybe he died as a fish. Cats love fish. Naturally they would be attracted....
Bedtime came early for which I was thankful. Blairstown BFF and I got an apology note from Karaoke buddy. It was nice that he did that. It tells me something about him as a person. I like him even more now.
I'll end here on our usual note: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you next time. ;-)
My Best BFF and I shopped at the malls all day. We exchanged stories and laughter throughout the entire afternoon. I always feel better when I hang out with her. I didn't buy anything. I just enjoyed her company. I am so very lonely these days with my husband away every weekend and our son married and gone. For me its a very hard life even though everyone says it should be so much easier now. I was defined by being a mom, child first and foremost and a wife for the last 25 years. It was gone in an instant and I had no time to prepare.
My son had said that he was coming home for a year after college to work and save money. He didn't do that. He proposed to his wife and they moved in together before he even graduated. I understood of course, and would not change it for anything. She's an absolute doll and perfect for him, but when I speak like this they get upset. It's NOT that I don't approve of them. I absolutely DO. She's perfect for him. I wouldn't deny him the kind of happiness he sees with his father and I. This one time, it's about me, which is an odd concept for even me to accept because I'm not that person ...ever. But I'm here to tell you that the 'empty nest' myth is so true.
' ...my hands, once busy, now are still. My days are long and hard to fill. I wish I could go back and do...the little things you asked me to...'
Thankfully I did do the things with him that he asked of me and then some. I have no regrets there. He's literally the son every mother dreams of having in every way. If he wasn't, maybe I wouldn't miss him so damn much. My mother doesn't miss me like that. We never had the relationship that I have with my son and I'm positive she would not say that I'm the daughter of her dreams. We're too different; there's too much baggage that goes with being her child. I miss her sometimes; I think she loves me as much as she is capable of loving someone that is her direct opposite, but not like I miss him; not like I love him.
Dinner was nice. Hubby cooked and cleaned while his diving buddy showed me videos of what was under the water. My husband made it into many of them. He loves diving. I couldn't see his face but I could still see his happiness. We joke that he was a cat in a past life and died in heat because cats everywhere are attracted to him. So much so that it's unreal! But now I'm thinking that maybe he died as a fish. Cats love fish. Naturally they would be attracted....
Bedtime came early for which I was thankful. Blairstown BFF and I got an apology note from Karaoke buddy. It was nice that he did that. It tells me something about him as a person. I like him even more now.
I'll end here on our usual note: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you next time. ;-)
Sunday, October 11, 2009
October 10,2009 Diet Blog
My Blairstown BFF spent the night because last night was spent at karaoke videoing her for Oprah's contest. We have six videos altogether. We want to choose the one we like the best. Our karaoke buddy- you may remember him...we helped him get the job at a new gig not to long ago- anyway we were at his regular gig on Friday night when he approached us to come to the new place again. It will only be his second time there and he was again in need of singers. We both had plans but he pleaded with us and so we changed them. Anything for a friend and he is on the fast track towards just that. My plans were easily moved to Sunday but my Blairstown BFF jumped through major hoops to change hers. Another who will do almost anything for someone she cares about. I wrote our karaoke buddy an inbox message on face book saying that 'your groupies will be appearing tonight' when and where. He was thrilled. We lovingly refer to ourselves as his groupies ever since we helped him get the job at the new place and now its an on going inside joke.
We showed at the gig after much turmoil and glitches with my GPS. We got there at 8:45 pm, which was perfect. It started at nine. There was problems with the words on the karaoke screen, so while Blairstown BFF and I sang (because we knew all of the words to certain songs) our karaoke buddy fixed the machine. There were 4 singers. Blairstownn BFF, me, karaoke buddy and another older gentleman with a beautifully cultured tenor voice. Tenor knew his words too so we did a round robin for 2 songs each plus another extra one by Blairstown.
Blairtown did great and I took more video of her. She wore a little cowboy hat and matching shirt too. She looked adorable and sounded even better! She was on. Other singers joined us. We were having a ball. Midnight came and 2 of Karaoke buddies other women friends came in. They were much younger and much prettier than me but they were very nice. I had seen them before at other karaoke gatherings so we introduced ourselves and exchanged a bit of pleasantries and open laughter.
Karaoke buddy then did the oddest thing. He told Blairstown and I to move down the bar and let the two new women have our seats. We'd been in the same spots all night. We were right next to Karaoke Buddy of course. It made sense. We always sit close in case were needed. Blairtown worked the machine while karaoke buddy was on break. It was a weird moment. I picked up my stuff and moved saying nothing but I have to admit I was shocked and not impressed by that.
I know his girl friend- we're good friends- neither of these women were her. She is in Florida with her daughter. How did they rate? We were done in an hour. Anyway- Blairtown stayed put. That was her chair. She jokingly told him while shaking her finger at him but if you would've seen his face, you'd know he either didn't hear her or he just didn't give a hoot. She also found the moment offensive though, there was no question from my angle. We sang one more song each and left abruptly. She was 'pissed off' to quote her. I was just hurt and embarrassed. To be truthful I wondered if it was because they were so pretty and I am not...I said nothing- which I hate myself for!
I stewed about it for awhile. It isn't that big of a deal but it is festering. Blairstown doesn't want to help him anymore. He was insensitive and callus considering all of the facts. I decided not to let it go. I wrote him a paragraph of about 6 sentences on face book. They were gentle, polite and not meant to hurt him. I told him the truth and that its not a big deal but that women in general like to feel appreciated and not cast aside when their usefulness is done helping out someone they call friend. I admitted to my own hurt feelings too- which I normally never do, but this is a dumb reason to end a nice friendship and I NEED to change this aspect of my personality. I'm just hoping that it was the right thing. I'll keep you posted.
We mostly ate out today so I used portion control to handle the diet. It feels like crap when you don't eat healthy though, I can fully attest to that at this time. I'm craving healthy! Can you imagine? ;-) See you next Blog!
We showed at the gig after much turmoil and glitches with my GPS. We got there at 8:45 pm, which was perfect. It started at nine. There was problems with the words on the karaoke screen, so while Blairstown BFF and I sang (because we knew all of the words to certain songs) our karaoke buddy fixed the machine. There were 4 singers. Blairstownn BFF, me, karaoke buddy and another older gentleman with a beautifully cultured tenor voice. Tenor knew his words too so we did a round robin for 2 songs each plus another extra one by Blairstown.
Blairtown did great and I took more video of her. She wore a little cowboy hat and matching shirt too. She looked adorable and sounded even better! She was on. Other singers joined us. We were having a ball. Midnight came and 2 of Karaoke buddies other women friends came in. They were much younger and much prettier than me but they were very nice. I had seen them before at other karaoke gatherings so we introduced ourselves and exchanged a bit of pleasantries and open laughter.
Karaoke buddy then did the oddest thing. He told Blairstown and I to move down the bar and let the two new women have our seats. We'd been in the same spots all night. We were right next to Karaoke Buddy of course. It made sense. We always sit close in case were needed. Blairtown worked the machine while karaoke buddy was on break. It was a weird moment. I picked up my stuff and moved saying nothing but I have to admit I was shocked and not impressed by that.
I know his girl friend- we're good friends- neither of these women were her. She is in Florida with her daughter. How did they rate? We were done in an hour. Anyway- Blairtown stayed put. That was her chair. She jokingly told him while shaking her finger at him but if you would've seen his face, you'd know he either didn't hear her or he just didn't give a hoot. She also found the moment offensive though, there was no question from my angle. We sang one more song each and left abruptly. She was 'pissed off' to quote her. I was just hurt and embarrassed. To be truthful I wondered if it was because they were so pretty and I am not...I said nothing- which I hate myself for!
I stewed about it for awhile. It isn't that big of a deal but it is festering. Blairstown doesn't want to help him anymore. He was insensitive and callus considering all of the facts. I decided not to let it go. I wrote him a paragraph of about 6 sentences on face book. They were gentle, polite and not meant to hurt him. I told him the truth and that its not a big deal but that women in general like to feel appreciated and not cast aside when their usefulness is done helping out someone they call friend. I admitted to my own hurt feelings too- which I normally never do, but this is a dumb reason to end a nice friendship and I NEED to change this aspect of my personality. I'm just hoping that it was the right thing. I'll keep you posted.
We mostly ate out today so I used portion control to handle the diet. It feels like crap when you don't eat healthy though, I can fully attest to that at this time. I'm craving healthy! Can you imagine? ;-) See you next Blog!
Saturday, October 10, 2009
October 9, 2009 Diet Blog
I had a 'karmic' experience of the instant kind today. This morning I went to the bank to cash my paycheck with a fellow co-worker. The teller, an innocent twenty year old-if that, with a cute Spanish accent accidentally gave me an extra hundred dollars. Now I'd be a liar if I didn't say that the thought crossed my mind to keep it but it left as quick as it came. I counted the money three times, cut the line and handed her back the cash. She counted it out, gave me back the correct amount and thanked me profusely. Since I've never seen her before and I've been going to that bank for several years now, I assume that she was new. Anyway, my co-worker and I left the bank discussing it. I felt like- and it was true that all eyes were upon us as we departed the scene. She agreed that giving the money back was the right thing and we moved on to another conversation.
As we arrived back into the office our other co-worker- the one that handles the office lottery every other Friday by collecting a dollar from everyone and the winner gets all of the dollars- ran up to me with the envelope saying I had won. You want to talk about 'instant karma?' I'm pretty sure that was it. It wasn't a hundred dollars...but it was guilt free! In case I was unsure that it was a case of the cosmic forces intervening, the funniest thing happened after that! The co-worker that had accompanied me to the bank won the other one. There were two lotteries this week because of Columbus Day. When there is a Holiday of some kind, we always do two. I was convinced at that point. I thanked the Lord for watching, the angels and the powers that be that let me know that I had done the right thing. It would have been very easy to do the wrong thing. A hundred dollars is a lot of money to me. I'm glad that I made the right choice...I wonder if the powers that aligned for that to happen could take a few extra pounds or inches off me this month...what do you think?
I had oatmeal for breakfast, rice cakes for snack, smart ones for lunch, yogurt for snack and 5 point smart ones little pizza for dinner. It was a better day food wise. I'm awfully proud of the fact that I didn't beat myself up too badly over the past mistake and jumped right back on the bandwagon towards feeling better about myself.
I'll sign off now. Remember, you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you on Saturday's blog! ;-)
As we arrived back into the office our other co-worker- the one that handles the office lottery every other Friday by collecting a dollar from everyone and the winner gets all of the dollars- ran up to me with the envelope saying I had won. You want to talk about 'instant karma?' I'm pretty sure that was it. It wasn't a hundred dollars...but it was guilt free! In case I was unsure that it was a case of the cosmic forces intervening, the funniest thing happened after that! The co-worker that had accompanied me to the bank won the other one. There were two lotteries this week because of Columbus Day. When there is a Holiday of some kind, we always do two. I was convinced at that point. I thanked the Lord for watching, the angels and the powers that be that let me know that I had done the right thing. It would have been very easy to do the wrong thing. A hundred dollars is a lot of money to me. I'm glad that I made the right choice...I wonder if the powers that aligned for that to happen could take a few extra pounds or inches off me this month...what do you think?
I had oatmeal for breakfast, rice cakes for snack, smart ones for lunch, yogurt for snack and 5 point smart ones little pizza for dinner. It was a better day food wise. I'm awfully proud of the fact that I didn't beat myself up too badly over the past mistake and jumped right back on the bandwagon towards feeling better about myself.
I'll sign off now. Remember, you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you on Saturday's blog! ;-)
Thursday, October 8, 2009
October 8, 2009 Diet Blog
It was a day chock full of drama- trauma today so I'm going to make this entry fairly quick. I found myself thinking heavily about the events of the day, to the point that I couldn't shut my brain down and I got depressed. My brain ran away with the facts and emotion jumped in to make things very complicated for me. Without going into vivid detail the days occurrences made me realize our position in our jobs where I work. I don't think I really got it until now. Peons basically. What happened to one coworker was sad, unfair and not right. She fought back- which is seriously not allowed and nearly got suspended over it. It all worked out in the end but the wake of the situation left me reeling in the aftermath of the grim reality of it all.
I ate fine all day but when I got home the need for comfort was so strong that I turned to my old faithful method of using food. I ate healthy things but I ate more than I needed to. I was alone most of the evening too because my husband was teaching the diving class at Seton Hall. It was a bad combination all around. I'm upset with myself for reacting in such a weak fashion, but at least I stuck to healthy foods and didn't choose junk. It's not much of a consolation but it is what it is at this point.
I did see a commercial put out by Dove soap that turned me around a little. They have that campaign for real beauty thing going on for awhile now. I really like the concept. There was this little girl. She was having a hard time all through the ad. She was suffering through major self esteem issues. At the end she was reading something she wrote on stage. She promised to see herself as a beautiful person. I just thought that was so great.
Teaching young girls their true value or beauty is such an excellent idea. I wish they'd think of a way to teach us older 'little girls' that. Especially those of us who were told throughout our entire youth that we weren't good enough and that we didn't measure up. Sadly too- the people giving us the standards to measure up to were less than what they were claiming we were. And it goes on from there. I wonder if 'we' could ever be fixed. I broke that chain with my son. He exudes confidence. He's truly the child every mother dreams of having. Sadly, I never got the chance to raise my daughter. She's sleeping in the Lord's arms. I'm sure that she's an angel and I'm sure that she is perfect in every way. It's a dream in that way, but I would rather have done it myself- since I'm sharing my dreams...I wish I had been able to raise her- see her beauty- show her that she was special and learn about my own beauty while teaching her hers. I never got that chance with a girl. I really missed it too.
I'm going to sign off now. Tomorrow is another day. I am forced to begin all over again with the diet. I will. I know what needs to be done. I've got to create battle plans to fall back on when the originals falter. I'm a mess tonight. I'm feeling so lonely. I'm alone a lot these days. I'm feeling vulnerable and sad too. I'm not really sure why either. I'm heading off into the land of slumber and dreams in hopes of something happier than today has felt or held for me.
WE LOOK AS GOOD AS WE CAN FOR TODAY. TOMORROW WE WILL LOOK THAT MUCH BETTER. LET'S REMEMBER NOT TO LET OUR PERCEPTION OF OUR BODIES STAND IN THE WAY OF US HAVING A GOOD TIME. LET'S TRY TO STAY POSITIVE. SEE YOU TOMORROW. :-)
I ate fine all day but when I got home the need for comfort was so strong that I turned to my old faithful method of using food. I ate healthy things but I ate more than I needed to. I was alone most of the evening too because my husband was teaching the diving class at Seton Hall. It was a bad combination all around. I'm upset with myself for reacting in such a weak fashion, but at least I stuck to healthy foods and didn't choose junk. It's not much of a consolation but it is what it is at this point.
I did see a commercial put out by Dove soap that turned me around a little. They have that campaign for real beauty thing going on for awhile now. I really like the concept. There was this little girl. She was having a hard time all through the ad. She was suffering through major self esteem issues. At the end she was reading something she wrote on stage. She promised to see herself as a beautiful person. I just thought that was so great.
Teaching young girls their true value or beauty is such an excellent idea. I wish they'd think of a way to teach us older 'little girls' that. Especially those of us who were told throughout our entire youth that we weren't good enough and that we didn't measure up. Sadly too- the people giving us the standards to measure up to were less than what they were claiming we were. And it goes on from there. I wonder if 'we' could ever be fixed. I broke that chain with my son. He exudes confidence. He's truly the child every mother dreams of having. Sadly, I never got the chance to raise my daughter. She's sleeping in the Lord's arms. I'm sure that she's an angel and I'm sure that she is perfect in every way. It's a dream in that way, but I would rather have done it myself- since I'm sharing my dreams...I wish I had been able to raise her- see her beauty- show her that she was special and learn about my own beauty while teaching her hers. I never got that chance with a girl. I really missed it too.
I'm going to sign off now. Tomorrow is another day. I am forced to begin all over again with the diet. I will. I know what needs to be done. I've got to create battle plans to fall back on when the originals falter. I'm a mess tonight. I'm feeling so lonely. I'm alone a lot these days. I'm feeling vulnerable and sad too. I'm not really sure why either. I'm heading off into the land of slumber and dreams in hopes of something happier than today has felt or held for me.
WE LOOK AS GOOD AS WE CAN FOR TODAY. TOMORROW WE WILL LOOK THAT MUCH BETTER. LET'S REMEMBER NOT TO LET OUR PERCEPTION OF OUR BODIES STAND IN THE WAY OF US HAVING A GOOD TIME. LET'S TRY TO STAY POSITIVE. SEE YOU TOMORROW. :-)
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
October 7, 2009 Diet Blog
I'm going to jump in head first here and tell you how uncomfortable I felt in my own body today. It was the weirdest thing. I've worn the slacks and blouse that I wore to work today at least a million times but for some reason, today I couldn't make them fit right. My body felt big one minute and small the next. My chair- the same chair I always use -didn't fit me correctly. Then tonight, I put on my gym clothes for body conditioning class and the same thing happened. It was so odd.
The worst thing was that I got a glimpse of myself in the full length mirrors in the back of the classroom. I looked as odd shaped as I felt. I hated seeing that. I found myself really 'off' because of it. Still, I trudged through it doing 40 minutes on the treadmill, burning 230 calories according to the numbers on the screen while maintaining my target heart rate, so at least that was good. I'm trying not to let it throw me into a tailspin. Instead I'm writing it all in the blog and wondering if any of you have experienced that same thing or something like it. Also, if you have please tell me how you handled it. If you didn't handle it any better than I did feel free to tell me that. Sometimes just knowing that we're not alone helps. It's why I began this blog in the first place.
As I've mentioned before I hope it will grow. I sent it in to the First For Women magazine because I liked that article, which made me read the entire magazine, which made me like it. I also put it in my local paper. I'm hoping to get some other people from different walks of life to join us. I'm hoping that they will tell their friends and so on. I'm hoping to come up with a few not so costly other ideas to get it out there too. If you have any, I'm open.
Today I had the bagel for breakfast, the lite n fit yogurt for snack, smart ones little pizzas for lunch with another yogurt and carrot sticks, wheat thins for snack, steak and green beans for dinner and wheat thins for snack. I also found myself famished today so I ate but stuck to healthy foods. I made the right choices but I had a difficult time with it.
I'm going to end here because I want to get a shower and get out of these very uncomfortable clothes. No- it hasn't gone away. I'll keep you posted.
In the meantime remember: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. I'm with you. Were all in it together. See you tomorrow. ;-)
The worst thing was that I got a glimpse of myself in the full length mirrors in the back of the classroom. I looked as odd shaped as I felt. I hated seeing that. I found myself really 'off' because of it. Still, I trudged through it doing 40 minutes on the treadmill, burning 230 calories according to the numbers on the screen while maintaining my target heart rate, so at least that was good. I'm trying not to let it throw me into a tailspin. Instead I'm writing it all in the blog and wondering if any of you have experienced that same thing or something like it. Also, if you have please tell me how you handled it. If you didn't handle it any better than I did feel free to tell me that. Sometimes just knowing that we're not alone helps. It's why I began this blog in the first place.
As I've mentioned before I hope it will grow. I sent it in to the First For Women magazine because I liked that article, which made me read the entire magazine, which made me like it. I also put it in my local paper. I'm hoping to get some other people from different walks of life to join us. I'm hoping that they will tell their friends and so on. I'm hoping to come up with a few not so costly other ideas to get it out there too. If you have any, I'm open.
Today I had the bagel for breakfast, the lite n fit yogurt for snack, smart ones little pizzas for lunch with another yogurt and carrot sticks, wheat thins for snack, steak and green beans for dinner and wheat thins for snack. I also found myself famished today so I ate but stuck to healthy foods. I made the right choices but I had a difficult time with it.
I'm going to end here because I want to get a shower and get out of these very uncomfortable clothes. No- it hasn't gone away. I'll keep you posted.
In the meantime remember: You look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. I'm with you. Were all in it together. See you tomorrow. ;-)
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
October 6, 2009 Diet Blog
It was a long and busy day, or at least it seemed that way. I felt seriously fatigued all day. I'm not depressed or sad but I am listless and that's really not like me. I'm chalking it up to the body conditioning class and the changes in the weather, but who knows.
I had a bagel for breakfast. It had no butter. I just ate it plain. I skipped 10am snack for it. I had a Smart Ones and a lite n fit yogurt for lunch, no 3pm snack, wheat noodles in sauce for dinner, wheat thins and a yogurt for snack and then my husband made diet jello pudding. It was chocolate and although I wasn't hungry I had that too.
On the way out of work my fellow college-mate from last year's writing class stopped me to ask for my help. She has a book idea and 'someone' is interested according to her. She wants me to help her write it. She is/was always impressed by my writing. I think she means ghost write but we are only in the discussion phase so we'll see. I said that I would, of course.
My prom date from high school and I have become friends again through face book after many years estranged. He is a comedian, performer, singer, writer.... He has also asked me to participate in a project. We discussed it a little bit tonight. My brain is churning around several thoughts. I'm kind of excited about it. It's different from my usual works but I like different.
Oprah is having a karaoke contest too! Naturally I forwarded the information to all of my friends that sing pretty well. The bulk of them laughed at me and said I was crazy. They are right, of course. Still, there is one that definitely wants to try and one that might try to be in the contest. I hope they do. Why not them? You can't win it if you are not in it as they say.
I feel that way about dieting too. You can't win it if you don't even try. If you fail- so what. Try again until it takes. If you slip up- and Lord knows as well as you that I have, begin again as soon as you are able. It's a good positive philosophy.
So things are looking up for me creativity-wise. I like it. I hope that these seeds grow into something amazing. I hope my book takes off when it finally comes out too. That is actually within reach at long last! If you 'google' my name you can read about it on the publisher's website if you are so inclined. Like I said- I welcome that! These are two of my fondest dreams.
Dreams are a good thing. What are yours? We should focus on them instead of food or beating ourselves up over food issues. It's much healthier and I think we would be much happier. What is your opinion? If you'd like to share a dream or two with me, I'd love it!
I will sign off here reminding you that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of your having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow....I'm heading off into the land of slumber and dreams. ;-)
I had a bagel for breakfast. It had no butter. I just ate it plain. I skipped 10am snack for it. I had a Smart Ones and a lite n fit yogurt for lunch, no 3pm snack, wheat noodles in sauce for dinner, wheat thins and a yogurt for snack and then my husband made diet jello pudding. It was chocolate and although I wasn't hungry I had that too.
On the way out of work my fellow college-mate from last year's writing class stopped me to ask for my help. She has a book idea and 'someone' is interested according to her. She wants me to help her write it. She is/was always impressed by my writing. I think she means ghost write but we are only in the discussion phase so we'll see. I said that I would, of course.
My prom date from high school and I have become friends again through face book after many years estranged. He is a comedian, performer, singer, writer.... He has also asked me to participate in a project. We discussed it a little bit tonight. My brain is churning around several thoughts. I'm kind of excited about it. It's different from my usual works but I like different.
Oprah is having a karaoke contest too! Naturally I forwarded the information to all of my friends that sing pretty well. The bulk of them laughed at me and said I was crazy. They are right, of course. Still, there is one that definitely wants to try and one that might try to be in the contest. I hope they do. Why not them? You can't win it if you are not in it as they say.
I feel that way about dieting too. You can't win it if you don't even try. If you fail- so what. Try again until it takes. If you slip up- and Lord knows as well as you that I have, begin again as soon as you are able. It's a good positive philosophy.
So things are looking up for me creativity-wise. I like it. I hope that these seeds grow into something amazing. I hope my book takes off when it finally comes out too. That is actually within reach at long last! If you 'google' my name you can read about it on the publisher's website if you are so inclined. Like I said- I welcome that! These are two of my fondest dreams.
Dreams are a good thing. What are yours? We should focus on them instead of food or beating ourselves up over food issues. It's much healthier and I think we would be much happier. What is your opinion? If you'd like to share a dream or two with me, I'd love it!
I will sign off here reminding you that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of your having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow....I'm heading off into the land of slumber and dreams. ;-)
Monday, October 5, 2009
October 5, 2009 Diet Blog
My goodness- the moon is so beautiful and bright against the tiel blue sky tonight. It was absolutely breathtaking as I walked out of the college. I made a wish upon the first star. I hope it comes true.
Without further adieu I weighed in today. I lost nine pounds. That equals out to a smidgen over 2 pounds a week. I'm very happy with the outcome but really, I don't want to be all about the numbers so I'm just going to leave this alone and move on.
The cutest thing happened today. My husband very proudly came to me and told me that he had eaten healthy all day and was so pleased with himself. As I prepared dinner, he listed his foods in the order that he'd had them; oatmeal for breakfast, salmon and green beans for lunch, two yogurts for snacks...and a cookie he added quickly as he slipped out of the room. I had to smile. How adorable was that? A cookie? I asked him to repeat the last item while following him into our living room. He had thought he'd slipped it past me I guess. It was only one...and it was oatmeal he replied innocently referring to the cookie. I couldn't help but laugh. I assured him that one cookie was fine. It's 6 or the entire bag that is no good. Anything is okay in moderation. Only you know what you can handle. I said that I was very proud of him for trying so hard. It's not easy. I can't believe I influenced him. How cool is that?!
As far as my day went, I actually forgot to eat breakfast. yes...really. I guess I was unnerved by the scale. I had 6 rice cakes for snack and a smart ones and grapes and carrot sticks for lunch. Then steak for dinner with green beans. Later I had a yogurt and wheat thins for a snack. Body conditioning class was tonight. I did 40 minutes on the treadmil. I'm feeling pretty good about that. I'm keeping up pretty good I think.
I tried the meditative walking idea from 'First for Women" magazine. My mind really drifted though, and I found myself reflecting about another time in my life and about a person that I was too innocent to realize that...well let's just say that they were not as innocent. Then I tried to use the ipod my husband gave me as a gift. It worked out okay and I was able to focus better on the music than I was on my thought process. I did talk to my angels a little bit. I need help with some other parts of my life and so I asked for assistance. I believe I've gotten it even as we speak.
I'll sign off on that note and head for the shower. Remember: you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of your having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow. ;-)
Without further adieu I weighed in today. I lost nine pounds. That equals out to a smidgen over 2 pounds a week. I'm very happy with the outcome but really, I don't want to be all about the numbers so I'm just going to leave this alone and move on.
The cutest thing happened today. My husband very proudly came to me and told me that he had eaten healthy all day and was so pleased with himself. As I prepared dinner, he listed his foods in the order that he'd had them; oatmeal for breakfast, salmon and green beans for lunch, two yogurts for snacks...and a cookie he added quickly as he slipped out of the room. I had to smile. How adorable was that? A cookie? I asked him to repeat the last item while following him into our living room. He had thought he'd slipped it past me I guess. It was only one...and it was oatmeal he replied innocently referring to the cookie. I couldn't help but laugh. I assured him that one cookie was fine. It's 6 or the entire bag that is no good. Anything is okay in moderation. Only you know what you can handle. I said that I was very proud of him for trying so hard. It's not easy. I can't believe I influenced him. How cool is that?!
As far as my day went, I actually forgot to eat breakfast. yes...really. I guess I was unnerved by the scale. I had 6 rice cakes for snack and a smart ones and grapes and carrot sticks for lunch. Then steak for dinner with green beans. Later I had a yogurt and wheat thins for a snack. Body conditioning class was tonight. I did 40 minutes on the treadmil. I'm feeling pretty good about that. I'm keeping up pretty good I think.
I tried the meditative walking idea from 'First for Women" magazine. My mind really drifted though, and I found myself reflecting about another time in my life and about a person that I was too innocent to realize that...well let's just say that they were not as innocent. Then I tried to use the ipod my husband gave me as a gift. It worked out okay and I was able to focus better on the music than I was on my thought process. I did talk to my angels a little bit. I need help with some other parts of my life and so I asked for assistance. I believe I've gotten it even as we speak.
I'll sign off on that note and head for the shower. Remember: you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of your having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow. ;-)
Sunday, October 4, 2009
October 4, 2009 Diet Blog
Ah- the Harvest moon; the autumnal equinox; the huge ball of light floating weightlessly above us shining moon beams across the land. It's truly magnificent. My coworker text me joking about what or who the full moon may bring out. There is some truth to the legend that the full moon seems to bring out the 'other' side of people.
This morning I slept in until around 8:30. I had a bagel with lite butter for breakfast and 10am snack. My husband was due home from the camping trip with my nephew and the cub scouts so I grabbed a light n fit yogurt at lunch time. At 3pm we had a tuna melt for lunch and for dinner left over wheat noodles and sauce.
I spent the bulk of the day 'cleaning the castle,' which really means house keeping. I got so much done and the house looks great. My son phoned, which always makes me happy. He ran for the cure of breast cancer today with his best friend Adam; also his best man so you know some of the behing the scenes trivia. He finished the run side by side with Governor Corzine and they shook hands at the finish line. That sounded pretty cool. He and Adam then spent the day at Great Adventure. His wife wanted to walk for the cure but he said that she had no one to walk with. I told him that she should've called me. I would've walked with her. They hadn't thought of it. I understood of course but at least next time- if there is a next time, they might consider it.
My husband and nephew returned home filthy, but no worse for wear. My nephew had a home sick incident late last night but my husband felt that making him tough it out was the way to go. Last year he had the same incident, but his father had just passed away and he was still pretty raw-emotionally speaking. My husband brought him right home. My nephew is ten now. He does need a male role model. My husband is a good one. Our own son turned out great. My husband told my nephew that he wouldn't leave his side and that he would be protected but that he must stay the night and if he still felt the same in the morning they would leave right away. My husband washed my nephew's tear stained muddy face and they went in the tent to sleep. Truly, the other boys will make fun of him and he will become the object of ridicule if the other boys see him as a wimp. My husband knew what he was doing. It was the right decision. My nephew was out cold in minutes. This morning he got up, fished with the other boys and all was well. He was glad that he had stayed after all.
My husband took my nephew home right away and I helped him take care of the equipment. It needed airing out and washing. It was gross. So I have seriously gotten in some major exercise today if nothing else. We are relaxing now and in for the evening. We did go outside and check the beautiful harvest moon together. He took my hand lovingly and told me I was beautiful. Wow. After 25 years of marriage I'm glad that he still thinks that. I think I like the Harvest Moon bringing out this side of him.
Tomorrow is the one month mark of this diet blog and of the actual diet I believe. I'm going to weigh in as promised and I will post the results then. I'm going to say a prayer and talk to my angels tonight. Wish me luck...I wish you the same. I'm going to try not to let it upset me. Since it won't be fifty pounds gone, I'm fairly sure I won't like the number. Still, it is only once a month, and I do look the best I can...for now.
Again let me say that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow will be that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow. ;-)
This morning I slept in until around 8:30. I had a bagel with lite butter for breakfast and 10am snack. My husband was due home from the camping trip with my nephew and the cub scouts so I grabbed a light n fit yogurt at lunch time. At 3pm we had a tuna melt for lunch and for dinner left over wheat noodles and sauce.
I spent the bulk of the day 'cleaning the castle,' which really means house keeping. I got so much done and the house looks great. My son phoned, which always makes me happy. He ran for the cure of breast cancer today with his best friend Adam; also his best man so you know some of the behing the scenes trivia. He finished the run side by side with Governor Corzine and they shook hands at the finish line. That sounded pretty cool. He and Adam then spent the day at Great Adventure. His wife wanted to walk for the cure but he said that she had no one to walk with. I told him that she should've called me. I would've walked with her. They hadn't thought of it. I understood of course but at least next time- if there is a next time, they might consider it.
My husband and nephew returned home filthy, but no worse for wear. My nephew had a home sick incident late last night but my husband felt that making him tough it out was the way to go. Last year he had the same incident, but his father had just passed away and he was still pretty raw-emotionally speaking. My husband brought him right home. My nephew is ten now. He does need a male role model. My husband is a good one. Our own son turned out great. My husband told my nephew that he wouldn't leave his side and that he would be protected but that he must stay the night and if he still felt the same in the morning they would leave right away. My husband washed my nephew's tear stained muddy face and they went in the tent to sleep. Truly, the other boys will make fun of him and he will become the object of ridicule if the other boys see him as a wimp. My husband knew what he was doing. It was the right decision. My nephew was out cold in minutes. This morning he got up, fished with the other boys and all was well. He was glad that he had stayed after all.
My husband took my nephew home right away and I helped him take care of the equipment. It needed airing out and washing. It was gross. So I have seriously gotten in some major exercise today if nothing else. We are relaxing now and in for the evening. We did go outside and check the beautiful harvest moon together. He took my hand lovingly and told me I was beautiful. Wow. After 25 years of marriage I'm glad that he still thinks that. I think I like the Harvest Moon bringing out this side of him.
Tomorrow is the one month mark of this diet blog and of the actual diet I believe. I'm going to weigh in as promised and I will post the results then. I'm going to say a prayer and talk to my angels tonight. Wish me luck...I wish you the same. I'm going to try not to let it upset me. Since it won't be fifty pounds gone, I'm fairly sure I won't like the number. Still, it is only once a month, and I do look the best I can...for now.
Again let me say that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow will be that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow. ;-)
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