October 12, 2009 Diet Blog

It's going to be a quick one because I'm exhausted and suffering from fatigue and a back ache. I cleaned some of the things out of my sons room today. My husband has been after me to do it. I just didn't want to. He pulled down all of my sons posters a few weeks ago without telling me first and sent me right into a tailspin. I spiraled right into a river of tears. He doesn't understand. I can't blame him. I don't really understand it myself.
I switched our summer and winter clothes around too, utilizing the new found space in my sons drawers and closet. I did every last stitch of laundry and put it away. That's two flights per load, just so you get the back ache thing. I went grocery shopping, made an appointment, posted all of my Blairstown BFF's videos, which amounted to ten of hers and two of karaoke buddy that also got posted, and basically worked from the minute I got up until my husband came home. I then made dinner, got ready and went to body conditioning class and now I'm blogging. After this a hot shower and cozy quilt are in order.
I ate very little today. I'm just so ... emotion stricken for some unknown reason. I guess I'm just feeling 'cast aside' by everyone. I don't like being lonely. I'm lonely all of the time. It's no excuse but honestly, I think that's when I do the most damage to myself diet wise and mentally. I'm one of those who 'beats the hell out of myself' mentally and emotionally speaking. It's something I'd like to change, but one thing at a time. Right now I'm teaching the world at hand that I'm not a door mat. People mistake me for one because I let them. I've begun to change that. It's a hard thing to do. Confidence and weight loss go hand in hand as a general rule. I'm hoping both will kick in soon.
I'm going to sign off now and head for the shower. Remember to look at yourself and say or think something positive...something nice. If no one else does or will, you always have you. We tend to forget that. See you next blog. ;-)