September 30, 2009 Diet Blog

I'm happy to report that nothing weird or out of the ordinary occurred today. I was beginning to wonder if the world was on a different axis or something like that. The craziest things went on around me this week. As it turns out, further investigation has led me to the knowledge that the harvest moon is on Oct. 4th, which is this coming Sunday. A regular full moon usually turns things topsy-turvy...the Harvest Moon is the autumnal equinox. It's supposedly full and hazed over in a pale reddish-orange color. It is Halloween Month after all. Trickery, wizardry and pranksters....I can't complain. I'm usually at the helm.
Anyway to continue, my day was busy but quick and I did great on my diet. I had a cup of watermelon chunks for breakfast, 6 rice cakes for 10am snack, Smart Ones for lunch w a cup of grapes, carrot sticks for the 3pm snack and wheat ziti noodles in low fat sauce for dinner.
I went to body conditioning class. I did 19 minutes on the treadmill, and then 21 more after the class was taught. I wanted to make the 40 minutes that I had done on Monday. I used about 200 calories according to the combined numbers on the machine. I'm kind of proud of me tonight. Truthfully, I didn't even want to go.
I wanted to sulk. My husband had just told me that he would be away from Thursday to Sunday as we ate dinner. It's fine. Of course I understand but I'm so very lonely all of the time. Between diving, work and now cub scout camping with our nephew he is gone a lot. My brother in law passed away a year ago. It was tragic and my husband has kind of stepped into his shoes as the male adult authority figure in the lives of his little boy and girl. It's not something one can find fault with. It's so good for the kids. They absolutely light up when they see him. It's good for him too. We wrestle with empty nest syndrome since our only son married last May. And I just miss him is all. It's the right thing though. I know that. I'm just lonely. Selfish- I know. I don't forbid it or complain too much- at least I try not to, but I feel like I want to just cry sometimes. I gave up my dream of a 50th birthday party for it, my dream of a 25th wedding anniversary party, so many things....I won't ever put myself before a child, but I am human and sometimes the emotions get the better of me.
Once I got to the body conditioning class and got involved I was okay though. The workout did me good and I came home tired. I know that I need to substitute some other type of comfort for when my emotions take a negative tumble other than chocolate or snacking of some sort. It was good that I worked out instead of sulked. I also lined up some of my "sista- girls" to hang out with me this weekend. I'm invited to my Wanaque BFF's tomorrow for dinner. So I'm beating the emotional binge with another method of comfort. I'm calling in the reinforcements!
On that note I will sign off and head for the showers. Let's remember: we look as good as we can for today. Tomorrow we will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Think positive. Let me know how you are doing. See you tomorrow. :-)