Sept. 13, 2009 Diet Blog

Friday night when XBFF popped into karaoke was a hard one. It really threw me. It took some doing to sort it out and let it go. But that is what I have to do to succeed here. Running for the chocolate would've only compounded the situation, making it worse. Working it through with my Blairstown BFF was the way to go. Last night was much better.
My Blairstown BFF and I visited her son, and I got to meet his wife and family. They had a great big dog who fell in love with me. This is not ever a surprise. I am a magnet for children and animals. I always have been. With adults I'm every one's sister, every one's friend and every ones mom. I'm as good a person as I know how to be but sometimes it feels like it's never enough. The conditions are too high, too much and too many sometimes. With children and animals it's the opposite. Love is unconditional. Animals love you and show it right from the onset of your first meeting. You smile at a child; they smile back. You play with a child, make them laugh instead of cry, or show kindness they think you're amazing. It requires little effort. The rewards are ...well you can't even measure that. My XBFF crossed that line and hurt me without reason or cause. It was undeserved. I know that I did nothing. The problem belongs to XBFF. I'm giving it back. I'm moving past it now.
Like I said last night was better. It wasn't just better, it was amazing! My Blairstown BFF and I left her son's house and went to help our friend starting the new karaoke gig at a new place. By help I mean: Singers are needed to warm up a new crowd and get it off to a good start. You don't have to be the greatest singer, you just have to laugh and be okay with it if you mess up. I do that fairly often. I have to be okay with it. Plus I love people.
You may or may not have gathered that I'm a little bit shy though, but I do try to push past it. Singing in a new place was very intimidating for me. I literally shook like a leaf. Blairtown BFF thought it was hilarious. I was third on the roster, and there were only three of us.
The first thing I did was go to the bar to order my diet soda. They only had real soda. The battle plan fizzled out immediately. I got the small glass of wine and the glass of water to drink it with. Blairstown BFF had her usual rum and coke. After my first song the crowd hooped it up for me. One girl shouted "I LOVE HER!" Referring to me. I blew her a kiss as I sang and smiled in her direction. Her boyfriend caught it and smiled at Cheshire cat grin. I formulated an idea at that point. I thought I knew how to get things rolling. It was completely against my grain... but we had done several rounds of singing and no one was coming up to try. My Gig friend was texting everyone he knew to come in and sing. He was smiling, but he was also sweating it.
I chose to take the initiative to help without telling anyone I was doing so. I consciously did that. I began my next song, checking the audience for "love" as I sang. I tried to make it seem as if I were singing just for them. I was trying to 'read the crowd' as a friend who is an actual performer told me he did as part of his usual act. He is a comedian.
I heard one of the girls at the other end of the bar say she loved the song. I danced and sang my way to her. I watched her singing along with me; Jackpot! She and her boyfriend joined me in song. It worked. They sang from their chairs; a comfort zone of sorts. I knew it was the way to go. My next round found me doing the same thing to another person. Everyone cheered for me. I was clearly the hit of the show. Gig friend was absolutely thrilled when the second girl picked out a song to sing. I'm pretty sure he was wondering what Alien had inhabited my body and took it over as well. We've known each other awhile. His girlfriend is a good friend. He's never seen me act like that.
The bartender was next. Young, pretty and as it turned out VERY talented. She chose her own song afterward too. The ice was broken, several people came up to sing and Blairstown BFF instructed them on how to use the books and fill out the paper. Gig friend did the running of the computers, songs and show, I recruited. It was going very well.
The friends that Gig friend texted came in one by one and the place rocked. The owner danced with me while I sang a love song. The karaoke was a hit. Gig Friend got the job. It will be every second Saturday a month. How about that? Gig friend was beyond grateful. I, in my usual curt manner of the alien within jokingly demanded pay. We all broke into serious laughter because that too was completely against my grain. I was confident... teasing but confident. It was wonderful. I really helped someone, even if it was in such an abstract way. Blairstown BFF and I felt good about ourselves. We left around 2:30 am.
I slept in a little bit this morning so I skipped breakfast and the 10am snack. For lunch I had a Smart One's pizza. For 3pm snack I thoroughly enjoyed a banana. For dinner I had roasted chicken and carrot sticks. I wanted a lot of something that I could chew but did not want to go off my diet. The instant gratification and battle plan was the carrot sticks. It worked.
I think that one of the tricks for me to succeed is to have a plan. In this case to have the right food available, quick and at my fingertips. I cooked a bunch of roast chicken. It's nearly gone. One more meal to go, but I've gotta tell you I'm going to do that exact same thing again. It's working for me. The craving to chew was interesting. I guess I wanted the crunch. It was wonderful.
My lifestyle demands quick and easy though. That usually because I'm busy but today it was because I'm exhausted. Two nights in a row out until the wee hours took the wind out of my sails a bit. Luckily the feeling it left in its wake pumped the sails right back up into overflow! The diet is going well even though the weekend was chock full of upsets. I'm kind of proud of me. That's a nice feeling for a change.
I'll sign off on that note reminding you of what I am absolutely sure of: You look the best you can for today. Tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive. See you tomorrow. ;-)