Blog # 1, Sept 5, 2009

I'm Connie. I'm new to blogging but not new to dieting. Like alot of people I've fought with my weight most of my life. Since I am 50- that sentence constitutes half a century... at least it feels like the entire half! Sometimes I win temporarily but I've never actually attained full success; hense this idea. I do my best dieting with friends and a support system. Sadly, in this economy I feel the money is best spent elsewhere on neccessities such as electricity-gas...you understand. This blog is free. Any advice or information taken out of it is free. Please feel free to comment or add your own ideas. The key word here is "free."
Hmmm...diet "blog" seems an appropriate way to put it. I feel blah, and bogged down by this body. Squish them together and "blog" pops out. I decided to try once again. Succeed or fail, I promoise to tell you the entire truth. So; here goes:
I've been on every conceivable diet you can probobly think of off the cuff. I have the knowledge. Is it laziness? Is it an uncaring attitude? Is it that I don't see, know or get it? Uh....no. I think-for me, its a combination of several things with Stress at the helm of the situation.
I began my diet yesterday. Day one was a difficult one. I had fruit for breakfast, rice cake for snack at ten, tolopia and green beans and a plumb for lunch, rice cake for snack at 3pm, then the hard part came. My nephews birthday party, at the pool club. Me plus bathingsuit...UG! I love my nephew though, there is no way I'd miss it. He's 10. Birthdays mean alot...and he'll remember. Pizza, cake and brownies were served. I ate nothing and sat as far away from the dredded inch- to- my- butt adders as I could. Strangely, some of the women joined me and oddly enough, we all discussed dieting. I could not help but notice that I was the fattest one by far but smiled, talked and even added my own thoughts to the conversation. I then admitted to the ladies that it was my first day on a diet. They were very supportive and literally cheer-led my efforts as well as their own. I felt commeradory (pardon the spelling if it is incorrect. That may happen along this route.) I felt less alone...and yes...like I wasn't quite so big. We are ALL struggling with this issue. None of us were in the millionaire catagory, so this idea came to mind as I looked at the members, friends and family around me. My mind raced with thoughts of a blog...but how does one blog? I'm on my own here. I will learn as I go.
I didn't cheat. I made it through the entire party among females of every avenue...fat, thin, tall, short, black, white, brown and me-red with sunburn within 15 minutes. (The price of being born a red head.) No- I did not wear the bathing suit. It sat next to me in the travel bag and I stayed in my work clothes from the office because I came straight from work-already late to the festivities. I'm not quite ready for that yet.
I went home and had a smart ones pizza for dinner and a salad. It was quick, light and lovely. I also drank 64 oz of water throughout the day as well as other beverages that are low-cal. No real exercise to speak of...but thats coming. Free-free-free! Walking, swimming, whatever. I need to start out small and add to it. I have the added pleasure of having just had surgery-hysterectomy to be honest, so I am seriously out of shape to begin with AND have that lovely c-sect stomach flap to deal with.
The motto I adopted yesterday was: "I look the best I can for today, tomorrow will be that much better." Some things I got out of the conversations I've had about dieting since I began are: Look in the mirror at yourself everyday. Look yourself right in the eye and say something nice. (Yes you are going to find fault-lets be honest. We are our own worse critic. but say something nice first.) I told myself I was wearing a very pretty blouse. It was true.
Another thing I got out of it was in regard to my own joke. I often tease that the Lord's "only mistake was in weight distribution" and that I'm going to discuss it with him when I get to heaven. Anyone who knows me has heard me say it. I've been using it for years to solicit laughter from those in the same boat as me. The answer came as this: What if the lord didn't make a mistake? What if it took THAT to make you the kind and compassionate person that you are? In alot of cases-people born with natural beauty- not ever having to work at it- are given a free pass in life. They don't have to learn those things. They are generally not very nice. Those that work for it know how hard it is. The answer astounded me. It fit. One size fits all-so to say. Even "super models" who work to keep themselves so perfect KNOW how it REALLY is! The world became a little smaller too just then.
Another good point: Weight is a defense mechanism. It keeps the world at bay. Its almost an excuse to back away from something/someone that scares us. After I picked my jaw up and reconnected it, I found this to be very profound in regards to my own life. You will here more about that as we move forward.
Also: one sentence said to me was: "...and I have all winter to do it now! By this time next year I'll be sitting pretty...so to speak..." It's a long involved and frustrating process. These items mentioned may or may not fit your specific needs but long, involved and frustrating fits pretty much everyone, even if you've just ten pounds to lose right?
Today, I've been invited back to the pool to swim with the family members that have stayed for the holiday weekend. Labor day weekend...sun, fun and people... I'm going to go because I enjoyed their company so much. My intention is to learn more from them and mention this blog. I hope they will not think its silly. I don't. I have no money that is extra and support systems are wonderful tools in any area of life! I'm also going to wear my bathing suit. My motto of adoption for today is: I'm not going to let my weight get in the way of my enjoyment...added to: I look the best I can for today and tomorrow I will be that much better! I'll sign off here. Feel free to add anything you want. Please do not put costly advertisments though. That's NOT what this blog is about! This blog is free. A support system is a good thing. Free is a great thing. Time is a limited thing. Start now! And read this at your convienience! See you at the next blog! Join me! New friends are ALWAYS a plus-size I WANT to have! ;-)