September 15, 2009

Today was quite a day. My body aches a bit from the Body Conditioning class but I'm overflowing with confidence for some reason. Maybe it's those 'happy' endorphins that your brain triggers because of exercise that we spoke about yesterday. I told myself this morning that I am doing a good job. I'm not sure if my reflection heard it or not because my stomach was growling so loudly. I woke up starving!

I had a package of the weight control cinnamon oatmeal because there was no way fruit alone would curb the hunger and I didn't want to cheat. It worked but by 10am I was hungry again. I had watermelon chunks. For lunch I finished off the roast chicken with leftover corn and green bean from yesterday's dinner. 3pm snack was the Quaker chocolate silver dollar sized rice cakes and dinner was two left over lamb chops and the rest of the corn and green beans. I did great! I drank all of my water too obviously. I walked around thinking 'who I am.' That is a great feeling.

On Lite Fm 106.7 the radio show they talked about dieting. It seems that Dr, Oz was on the show yesterday. He is an expert on nutrition and exercise. They talked about a study that said curling up on the sofa instead of exercising was a better stress release. Apparently Dr. Oz had vehemently disagreed. There was also woman on the show that he's going to have on his television show. She represents Americans he said. She'd quit smoking, gained a ton of weight, got depressed and ended up on medication after medication, which has only made things worse for her. Poor thing, I thought. I hope he can help her.

A co-worker of mine quit smoking and went from a size six to her body type now. I think she is about a twelve but I'm not sure. I'm much larger so twelve would be welcome for me. Anyway, she swears that it was the quitting smoking that did it to her. She also adds that she is glad that she quit though. It's a real issue. I've never smoked but can understand to a degree. Literally, one habit was replaced with another.

Another girl is on a glutton free diet for medical reasons. One of the security gaurds asked her if she was pregnant today. She was so upset. When she explained to the officer that she was not having a baby, the officer told her how much weight she had gained since they last saw one another. This officer was not thin by any stretch of the imagination; in fact much larger than my non-pregnant co-worker. I think it may have been a case of misery loves company. The officer really hurt her feelings. Her self esteem hit the skids. Why do people do that? What sadistic pleasure did she get by compounding the first statement with the second one? I felt so bad for her as she told me what the officer had said. I gave the advice to let it go. It's the officer's problem not hers and to give it back to the officer. That is a hard thing to do though. I'm an expert. Many things have been said about my weight. It's funny though, no matter what size my butt has been over the years my heart size hasn't changed at all. Shame on them. You don't kick a person when their down...you offer love, compassion, understanding and assistance... but that may just be me...I'm really invested in the subject.

I also did something a little crazy. I purchased two outfits two sizes smaller than I am now. I'm going to use them as my first goal. I don't want my goal to be a number. That is something that has triggered more tears for me than it hasn't over the years. I think I'm going to set my goals small and in the category of pretty clothes.

We talked about so many diet factors today like liposuction and the brand new laser form of that; about gastro bypass, which examples of successful and failure of this operation exist right in our own realm at work. We talked about will power, getting your head into dieting as well as your body into exercise. It was all good. There are pros and cons to each. I'd love to hear your take on the situation.

I'm going to visualise myself in the two outfits that I purchased today. I'm going to try hard to keep myself motivated, inspired and moving forward to a healthier, better version of me. I'll sign off now reminding you that you look as good as you can for today. Tomorrow will be that much better. Don't let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time. Stay positive! I'll see you tomorrow. ;-)