June 21, First Day of Summer- Diet Blog

So, I've gained back all but a few pounds of my weight. I feel ugly and awful. I'm so tired of trying and then failing that I could scream. Still, I cannot give up. I have this picture in my head and I want to look like her. Soooo- "Finnegan, Let's BEGIN AGAIN..."
Though I cannot do the diet with the pregnancy meds that my sister in law uses, the doctor says that I can use the diet itself in EXACTLY the way it's supposed to be used.
I say that because the last time I began I jumped right in to the hard-strict part. Maybe that's why I failed.
The first day was today. I'm expected to drink 2 liters of water. No problem, that actually comes natural now. Then I'm expected to eat every two hours. Also no problem, I do that now too. BUT for the first two days of this diet I am expected to eat everything HIGH fat, alot of it, and still every two hours with water.
I thought: HMMM, sounds fun. I can do that. Its called 2 day Gorge. It supposedly resets your metabolism if you've been yo-yoing for awhile. I have. It may be why I'm failing, I was told.
So I embarked on Day 1 today. By the end of the day I was full, bloated, uncomfortable and felt like I would hurl if I saw one more fattening thing! I cannot BELIEVE they have me doing this for two solid days. It's the end of Day 1 and I want to die. I feel awful. I nearly passed out at my desk at work.
I didn't allow myself to go to bed. Instead I went grocery shopping after work, prepared the meats by weighing them out into 100 g portions and bagging them. They are in the freezer now, just waiting patiently for me. It felt so good to be buying them I feel like a fat house and I ate worse than I have in years.
One would think granting yourself permission to eat anything you want would be fun. Well they are right. The concept was fun and the doing was fun too until lunch time- then it was a burden- an uncomfortable phenomenon. I wonder if they do that so that you'll pray to diet, eat right and feel better.
Also, I MUST weigh in every day on this diet, log it and the food I consume. The diet part itself is limited (thankfully) and I will keep you apprised the best I can. UG tho- I feel awful. I made myself stay up until 9 because they say not to rearrange your schedule to much. Setting your metabolism correct depends on you maintaining the 'norm.'
Enjoy your night. I'm going to bed. I may fall asleep before I reach the top of the staircase.