November 22, 2009 Diet Blog

I got up fairly early considering it was my day off. I made coffee and a bagel with light butter for my husband and myself and brought it to him in bed. We talked for a little while and then got ready to go to my son's for early Thanksgiving dinner. I felt excited and happy. I couldn't wait. His wife has two complete families to deal with and so I take the backseat so as to make it easier for them. It doesn't matter what date- well...most of the time- it just matters that he's with me. It just matters that I see him.
The day began with the usual family rift. My sister-in-law called and said that my mother-in-law refused to go because no one told her. That was BS. I told her myself at the anniversary dinner; my son e-mailed me and I forward it to them and my sister-in-law told her. I felt angry. I'm just so tired of my husband's families crap sometimes. I phoned my mother-in-law and was going to say so, but she had re-thought her position and was in the shower. It's a good thing. It's been 25 years of catering to this BS. Enough....
I get nostalgic and miss my son more than ever after being together. I have so much to say, but my hubby's family are talkers and so I don't get a word in edgewise. My husband's sister all but took over. It's her personality but she was really overwhelming. She cut me off mid sentence more times than I can count. Even at the end of the night when I wanted a private moment with my son she stayed behind and wouldn't let me have it. It bothered me. I'm going to gently mention it when we talk. I'm sick of coming in last about everything. The dinner itself was great. My daughter-in-law did a nice job. It's the holiday crap that his family puts us through unnecessarily that gets to me. There's no need. Why can't everyone just be happy and nice? Why can't my sister in law remember that I miss my son and would've liked a private moment with him? It's not like I haven't discussed it at length and in depth with her....
The ride home was long and there was much traffic. My husband and I got into an argument because in my opinion he pays more attention to the radio than he does to the traffic. He almost hit a car. He says he didn't- but he did. I went right to bed upon arriving home. He stayed downstairs to watch television. The end to the day.... I flipped on the comedy channel. Larry, the Cable Guy was on with the Jeff Foxworthy group. It was his turn. I laughed at his crude jokes. I needed to laugh. By the time hubby came up I was out cold. It's Monday morning and I'm still so sad. I feel like I don't matter. Sadly- that feeling clings to me like white on rice and has throughout my lifetime. I'm going to sign off now. I'm going to meditate and try to bring myself up into a better place so my mood will change.
Like I mentioned I had a bagel with light butter for breakfast and then used portion control for the snacks and dinner. It was still too much but at least I didn't over do it. Have a good day. See you next blog. ;-)