November 3rd 2011 Diet Blog

Gees...will it EVER say maintenance blog? (Sigh) Okay- so I left you off at the Royal Caribbean Cruise LAST Year! I kept the weight off for the most part, did book signings and tours and continued my education while working at the courthouse- so not much changed UNTIL the 2nd Royal Caribbean Book Tour! It was a sell out! I've never experienced fame like that before! I even had a stalker! A real one! An author-wanna be that completely lacks social skills of the normal kind. Mt husband met the stalkers cousin at a dive and he was very nice. When he found out who Dave was (to me) he stepped up and apologised for his cousin. Apparently the cousin has a rep...
Anyway- on that cruise I was selling books at my station and this man came over to talk. Three days later he came by asking if I was "represented." I said no, of course and explained that while I am a paid author- not self published- that I have never had an agent. It's all fallen upon me, and that I was doing pretty good at it in my opinion. He laughed and agreed and then gave me his card. He was/is an attorney-agent. I took the card, was very polite but really, I didn't get excited. I'm not sure if I didn't believe it, or didn't think he was real or what, but I stashed the info and continued.
Once home an earthquake hit New Jersey at the beginning of the week, and then hurricane Irene hit us-doing bad damage to my basement and I just forgot about him. Well folks- HE contacted me. He insisted that we should meet. I thought- well, ok but what if this guy is an ax murderer or something- why not? If nothing else, its a good plot... Anyway, I made my husband come with me. We met the agent-attorney at Harold's Deli- where the food is LARGE and costly. By the end of the evening both my husband and I felt that he was the real deal. HE believed in my work...it was very uplifting! I mean- in the quarter century I've been at this, agents have rejected me in STACKS! One approached me on the first Royal Caribbean tour, Followed me ALL over the ship, I sent her a free book and never heard from her again. She just wanted a free copy...another said she couldn't handle my work because (get this) I didn't have an international platform. Huh?! If I had an international platform, what the heck would I need HER for?! LOL! Anyway- agents have fit everything on the spectrum but the one for me...until now.
After several weeks of questions, negotiations, and my ESQ type friends at work helping me, I signed with him. I tell you this story because THAT is the exact spot where I lost the battle of Bulge. I don't know if it's fear, anxiety, stress, relinquishing control...ALL of the above plus other factors or what but I cannot get myself together. I blew up like a beach ball... I am huge again. And I began the decent yesterday. I'm doing it MY way. Weighing in once a month as before. No drugs and dealing with one day at a time. So- welcome back. Join me...again... I guess the "answer" is in the title; "Keep Fighting Fatty!"
Before I go I'm just going to document a dream that I had because it directly pertains to my weight issue and though I am not quite sure what it means, I feel there is a very profound message in it somewhere.
In the dream I am svelte, wearing a pretty flowered dress, high heels, hair done etc. I am setting up for a book talk. I am talking to the people helping me- 10 or 11, but not the audience. We are all working, putting up posters, arranging chairs, opening boxes of books, putting flowers out- you get the idea. One heavy set girl tells me that I look so good since the last event. I tell her this: The only thing this body has going for it is that its healthy and pretty. Other than that, I'm at a complete loss. I know how to handle the bigger body, I have no idea of how to handle this one. People approach me easier in that body, men don't think it's okay to be lude and crude to me. It's kind of like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman after Stuckie hits on her and she finds out that Louis told him that she was a prostitute. She is angry and asks him why. If he was going to do that, why didn't he just let her wear her own clothes; she knew how to handle the situation in her own clothes.
In the dream I stopped and looked up because the room got very quiet and they were ALL listening to me. The girl I was answering said "You should write a book." I'm still confused by it. But who knows- maybe one fine day I'll be SO famous that this BLOG will be turned into a book because (well just everyone...flipping my hair back and sticking my nose up in the air) will want my diet advice LOL!
So- I'm off to begin day 2 of my diet. Good Luck to you if you've started too! Talk to you next blog!