11:11:11 Diet Blog

Hi all. this is my 10th day holding steadfast to my diet. It's been SO hard. They've had parties at work all weeks- cakes, chips, bagels rolls...everything I know I cannot touch. Sometimes it feels like I'm just destined to be fat. I try so hard but never really succeed. I've gotten close but could never hold it. I get so discouraged sometimes...
I met up with my BFF from the vault the other day. It was good to see her. She is feeling much better since an accident that left her wrist and lower arm incapacitated for quite some time. I was glad to hear that she's coming along nicely with physical therapy and all. During our conversation, she expressed having an exceptionally hard time getting back in the swing of her diet as well. Like me- she uses food to comfort herself from the great stresses life has been throwing at her. I found myself at a loss for profound words, quotes or sound advice because I too am facing that same issue. I'm doing it- but it's totally forced; not coming easily. I want it- but I don't want the work it entails type of thing. We parted ways with a smile and I went into the lunch room.
Inside the lunchroom was an obese co-worker with her plate mountained high with food from the latest office party. Buttered rolls- one sour doe the size of a slice of wonder bread stacked 4 slices high, and a regular one, two kinds of chips and dip, crumb cake, pecan pastry and whatever else she had on there. I smiled, said hello and took out my yogurt, fruit and diet coke. She points to my lunch and laughs. Then she says that she can't stick to a diet, not that she even bothers to try anymore because life is to short. She then says that I should just be who I am because after all I'm already married so who am I trying to impress anyway. I said nothing and stuffed nearly the entire apple into my mouth... it took great strength not to let her have it.
But that conversation- which followed me all day causing steam to emit from my ears- got me to thinking. Why do I need to lose weight? Why am I doing it? Questions to her answers so to speak.
First off- I need to lose weight because its just not healthy to eat that way. That's the right answer. The truthful answer though? I just want to look pretty. For me. Not for some man- I AM married, but just so I feel good about the person looking back at me in the mirror. It's hard. Yes it is. But here's one for you- I work hard at everything I do that means something to me. If I fail at those things I try again or find a different angle. Why on earth should working on "me" be any different than the 20 years it took me to get my book out to the public? It shouldn't. This is crazy- but I found great strength in that and today, the diet was a snap. I'm worth the trouble. Connie is worth the trouble. If Connie doesn't think so- who will? I forgot that for awhile. You are worth it too, aren't you? My profound advice is that. Know that. Feel that. Then, do what you've got to do to prove it.
The advice I should have given to my co-worker instead of biting my tongue was that while it may be impossible to change everything all at once, maybe she could change one thing at a time. Like start with adding 8 glasses of water to your diet every day for a week. Drink one before each meal then eat what you want. It may at least curb the portion a bit while putting an essential hydration into your system. The next week, add two fruits. Then eat what you want. and so on. By the time you add all of the good stuff, not only will you be too full to eat the crap but you will have changed your diet slowly and possibly shed some of that extra weight in the process. I wish I would've said that, but like my BFF from the vault- my head has been in a bad place.... this seems to have turned the "switch" back on though.
So- continuing on and I will certainly keep you posted! Looks like were turning the negatives into positives again at long last! Enjoy your day. Thank you to all of our Veteran's and to the service-people currently serving our country to keep it the home of the free...xo