Well, the truth is I went into self destruct mode. I just literally gave up. The harder I tried, the worse things got. I wondered if it would ever end. I stopped writing in the blog because it was beyond depressing...and distressing...I'm so glad to see November go. I'm not even going to go into the Holiday, except to say that my drunk sister-in-law who has lost all of her weight, felt that it was necessary to point out my weight, what I was eating, etc while she sucked down a slab of fat from a prime rib. She was disgusting, loud, obnoxious and unkind. I haven't seen or spoken to her since- not that she knows...I just took hit after hit from my husbands family ... it was awful.
Today, I'm changing up the chess pieces. I'm feeling better mentally and I really want to feel better physically too. Emotionally, I feel like I've gained some control. I was spiraling downward at a pace that was unfathomable. I'm doing the weight watchers points diet. Its a way of life really, and I can have literally anything I want. I just have to count it. That way worked really well for me in the past. I feel motivated and ready to give it a shot. December may not be the best month to do it- but you can do the point thing through the holidays, I've done it before.
Hopefully the "Diet Clog" is gone at long last and I can find some positive again. If you are in a downward spiral don't, crash. I know its hard to just let go, but once you crash, you can repair or step away from the rubble and start anew. I've started anew. There was no repairing that rubble after the crash. See you next blog. ;-)
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