July 3, 2010 Diet Blog

Hi All! I think the once or twice a month thing may be the way this goes for now. Again- I'm an email away if you need a friend!
Unofficially the scale bumps between 46 and 47 pounds lost. The official weigh in will of course be on the 5th as always. I've checked several times though. The Royal Caribbean cruise/book signing is coming up in August and I want to be svelte for it obviously. I'm working hard and praying harder.
After last month it was VERY hard to get back on track with the diet. I floundered without having the estimated 'time to cheat day' laid out for me. They were every week- just about. 6 weeks is too long but one is not long enough. I think 3 or 4 is the proper allotment of time between cheat dates for me.
I've been book signing my little head off and its going pretty well. I'm frustrated with the publisher because I've been trying for a month to get 50 more books and cannot get so much as a response from them. I'm completely without books at this moment with 2 signings looming before me. I placed my 4th call to them this morning and have done numerous e-mails. It is SO frustrating.
I'm getting a promotion at work. Supposedly I start on July 8th and I've heard that I will enjoy that job very much. I'm a little nervous about leaving the position I've been in since I was hired almost 7 years ago but am looking forward to the change as a positive move. My career dreams do not include this job as a forever thing. I want to be a world renowned author- loved and revered by readers- not to mention generating millions of dollars a year, enabling me to help people and "save babies" through SIDS research. Yup...I dream BIG when I dream...
Anyway- I had my first experience at the pool. It wasn't as bad as last year but I still am fat and REALLY white. I wasn't the fattest by far though- thankfully. I've never been real comfortable in a bathing suit though so its not the newest concept in my life. It could be worse, and MOST CERTAINLY has been.
I'm facing new life decisions these days. I've had an unsettling time with my husband and his family this year. Thank heaven our child is grown and married and away from this world. Of all of the things I dreamed for him, getting away from "this" was definitely one at the top of the list. He is happy and that is good. The family- including hubby who seems not to give a flying fig- have done some major damage to my heart this year. Sadly- I'm unsure if I can repair it this time. It's patched together with glue and tape already.... My husband, who I adored and held up on a pedestal is part of that too this time. I am so shocked that after all of these years- he knows me NOT. He clearly still sees me as the person that came from the other side of the tracks. Of the two of us- he is the ONLY one who misbehaved in our relationship. It was NEVER me. I'm hurt- wounded...but they can't defeat me. I've been through a lot. I'll re-group. Without going into vivid detail...let me just say that 27, nearly 28 years of marriage is not a failure. We are a success these days. I wonder, sometimes if people should "jump ship" or have the option of resigning at a certain year...I wonder how many would... I wonder if I would.
I'll write in again on the 5th with the official number for you. In the mean time remember: You look as good as you can for today, tomorrow you will look that much better. Do not let your perception of your body stand in the way of you having a good time! Stay positive! You are not alone! See you next Blog! ;-)