A Holiday Story 2009

Posted by request of someone I love very much:

You may remember that I broke my favorite purse. If not- now you know. I looked for its duplicate but did not find it and just was not interested in any that I saw. Still, it was very annoying to carry my once beautiful brown purse with the perfect earth tone hearts all over it and the silver heart decoration on the front, broken like that. It was cumbersome and awkward but I'm silly and a little stubborn that way. I usually use a purse until it breaks, then I change it. I just happened to have picked this particular one myself and it lasted quite a while.
While cleaning my house I discovered an old purse that I had tucked away many moons ago. As it turned out it was around 20 years ago. I pulled it out recognising it right away. It was one purchased as a gift for me by my mother-in-law as a gift- probably a birthday because it is tan, with brown trim and butterflies on the front.
It was filthy- caked with dust and so I brought it to the kitchen sink and cleaned it off. It was a sturdy thing. It was certainly big enough. It cleaned up as good as new. I thought- 'well, I'll use it until I find one that I love again. '
After I cleaned it I went to switch the things over from the broken purse. When I opened the butterfly purse there were things inside of it. I was surprised and confused. I never save purses, never mind contents of purses. What was inside was the most amazing gift. I had to sit because I got week at the knees-literally.
The contents began with a baby teething toy. I called it a rattle way back in the day. It belonged to my little girl. You may remember, she died of SIDS at two days short of four months old. It took my breath away. I recognised it right away. I reached in and pulled out a stack of photographs that I did not know existed or at least had forgotten. They were of my little girl, my son, my husband, me and the rattle. It was a white ring with different colored keys and a red heart. It;s plastic. It was also filthy so I put it in the dishwasher after I finished going through the now beloved new purse. I think they were given to me also by my mother in law- the photos of our little girl anyway. I think I stashed them because the pain was so severe at the time. I think my mind let me forget...I couldn't handle it.
There were pictures of me pregnant with the third child; (still born in the 7th month.), my son's 5th birthday spent at karate; skiing photos of our little family that showed my son not as high as my husbands hip... treasures...little toys that my son loved, including a clown and an army man. A gift that my husband had given me many years ago when she was born....
The gift? I got to visit with my baby. I remembered holding her, and loving her, her eyes sparkled.... I remembered the family that we were building and the joy behind her birth. I shared the photos with my husband. It was such an experience- there just aren't words to express it- we laughed and remembered...together. We held each other afterwards and I called my son. It's the best Christmas gift I've ever gotten in my life.
My constant wish has been and will always be 'if God had to take her I wanted only to hold her just once more....' I think she gave me that. (I am kind of ticked that she broke my good purse to do it, but...you can't have everything right?)
How's THAT for a true story?
Happiest of Holidays to you and yours. Let's hope 2010 is an awesome year full of Peace on Earth, Laughter, joy, love and life for everyone!