December 17 and 18, 2009 Diet Blog

Holiday Preparations have got me hopping! Friday was spent doing last minute touch-ups on the upstairs of the house, shopping for food and beverages for Sunday's Holiday Party that we are hosting, getting my mani-pedi at the nail salon, where I gave gifts of movie tickets and got body wash and a 'to-do' notebook. (They read one of the two novels that I gave them, which was very cool too.)
Blairtown BFF joined me after that and we went out to the final karaoke night at the Cornerstone Inn. It was hard to stick to the strictness of my diet- but I made a promise to myself and I really wanted to keep it so I did. I had water while out claiming designated driver status once again. That battle plan is a good one and works like a charm. I climbed into bed long around 12:30 am. I felt sad and a little empty. Part of my growth as a person happened inside of that place. I got to know and love new people there. I looked into that bathroom mirror with newness and excitement at times, pain at others, confusion sometimes...but always wonderment. I'm going to miss being a part of that...going somewhere that 'everybody knows my name,' as that old song from the sit-com "Cheers" went.
This morning Blairstown BFF left at around 11am and I got to work on cooking and hanging the final decorative items around the house. We are prepared. The baked ziti is made and just needs to be popped in the oven, the desserts are ready and I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Turkey, Lamb and the fixins tomorrow A.M.
I heard from my son today. He did VERY well in the classes he is taking towards his Masters. I'm so very proud of him. He really is the son that EVERY mother dreams of having.
My mother-in-law got me a little upset today. Of course I'm not under enough stress... You may or may not remember that I've mentioned the extremely strained relationship that I have with my mother. I keep a very delicate balance of staying in touch but not letting her in enough to hurt me or my family. I sent her gifts of course, for the Holiday. I never miss any thing like that...unlike her....She sent me a card back saying that she hasn't worked in 4 months and that she couldn't afford gifts. I have zero problems with that. The card or a letter or that type of thing is all I ever asked of her or my Dad for that matter. (met him at age 44. He died 6 months later. That's a story for another day though.)
Anyway, it was nice. I was happy. Until... Today my sister-in-law called to let me know that my mother also sent a card to my mother-in-law. It said stuff about me not sending any pictures of my son's wedding and not so nice stuff about me. Now- I have asked my mother-in-law for the last 25 years to not fuel the fire- to respond if she felt she must but not to give a whole lot of information and not assist in any of the unfounded complaints that my mother sees fit to write about our family members. Sadly most of what mom writes is twisted truths or outright lies. It has been hard on all of us and our family is not bonded because she pits the siblings against each other, as well as all of the rest of the family members and those she calls friends.
Instead of abiding by my wishes she wrote back a long and lengthy letter basically adding fuel to my mother's current fire. 'What's wrong with Connie? I have no pictures either...etc etc..." Hello?! I was the mother of the groom and the only picture I have is the one I got as an anniversary gift by request. Their thank you cards did not even contain a photo. Both of those women were at the wedding. Why did they not take any photos? And since when is it the groom's mother's job to provide pictures for everyone? I was in them, I didn't take any...sheeesh...
My sister-in-law then told me the worst part. Before my mother-in-law mailed the fuel letter she told her not to do that. She told her to stay out of it and my mother-in-law (who I drop everything and go running for...) told her in a nasty way, "I don't care what Connie wants. I'm doing it anyway." She picked herself up and took the fuel letter to the mailman. So now I'm expecting a screaming phone call from my mother. Isn't that lovely? I get screamed at for things that aren't my fault or that I haven't done. Scenarios that are completely made up.... I feel like I do everything for this woman...I can't believe she'd dismiss my happiness so quickly and with malice of forethought. Why?Why would she fuel the problems between my mother and I further? You'd think that after 25 years of asking that she'd think twice...especially because I've been so good to her....story of my life....
---sigh---
Anyway, I am happy to report that I have completely stuck to my diet and have made it to my goal of the 20th. Tomorrow I will go off for the day but will try not to get crazy. Stress is a killer for me and I am under the gun. There is a lot of delicious desserts and chocolates in this house. I will overcome the desire and try to handle the stress in a different manner. Believe it or not writing it here has helped me a great deal. I think that I just needed NOT to bottle it up- which is my usual pattern.
Keep me posted on your Holiday issues as they arise. We'll formulate plans against the caloric foes together! In the mean time- especially during the Holidays...remember that you look as good as you can for today, tomorrow you will look that much better! Do NOT let your perception of your body deter you from having a good time! Stay positive...I will try to do the same. Hey! Good news! It's snowing! ;-) See you next Blog!